What is a trauma bond and how do I heal from it?
Oftentimes, forms of abuse can manifest in our lives in different ways, including in our relationships with others. Abuse may be present without our conscious awareness of it, resulting in unnecessary emotional suffering and self-neglect. Our bodies can respond to the abuse we endured in many different emotional and psychological ways, including trauma bonding. Also, trauma bond occurs when the abused individual develops an unhealthy attachment to their abuser. Although not everyone who experiences trauma will develop a trauma bond, it is important to be conscious of the ways in which these responses to trauma can form in order to prevent it from occurring.
Often, our marriage therapists support high conflict couples who feel lost and hopeless about their relationship after a fight.
To begin, click the button to book a phone consult to heal your trauma bond in marriage counseling.
How does a trauma bond begin?
Typically, one’s appeal to a trauma bond begins as a child where the first attachment one forms is with their parent-figures. If this relationship yielded emotional neglect, abuse, abandonment, unpredictability, or insecure attachment, we then learn and adapt these styles of engaging with others. Without realizing it, we may be recreating old patterns of trauma from when we were a child in our present relationships as adults. For this reason, it is helpful to work with a counselor to understand if a trauma bond originated in our childhood as a response to a harmful living environment.
What are the signs that I am in a trauma bond with my current partner?
One prominent sign of a trauma bond is an obsessive pull towards a particular relationship even when you know that the relationship will have long-term negative consequences. You may find that you are drawn toward individuals who elicit this style of attachment in you. Or, you may be aware that your partner is not a good fit for you but you struggle to leave them. According to holistic psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera, when in a trauma bond we deny parts of who we are, ignore our needs, and enable behaviors that may hurt ourselves or others. This propensity to neglect our physical, mental, and emotional needs results in an inclination to stay with a partner to fulfill these aspects of ourselves, even if it is done so in a negative or unhealthy manner. These tendencies ultimately contribute to feeling “stuck” in an unhealthy relationship, thus reinforcing the trauma bond and making it difficult for us to tend to the relationship or leave it entirely.
Fortunately, however, a trauma bond does not have to underlie each of our relationships with others. With the help of a trauma-informed therapist, we can learn how to notice tell-tale signs of a trauma bond and prevent its further development. We do not have to remain “stuck” in a situation that we know is ultimately harmful and will only progress worse. Therapy can help us to reclaim our lives, tend to our needs, and embrace each part of who we are throughout the process.
To begin, click the button to book a phone consult to heal your trauma bond in marriage counseling.
How can I break free of my trauma bond?
Maybe, this is your first time experiencing a trauma bond. Or, maybe this is a recurring pattern of trauma for you. Maybe, you are trauma-bonded to a partner. But, you are unsure of how to handle the anger, anxiety, and intense emotions of the situation. Now, the most important piece about trauma bonds is that healing can occur. Essentially, healing a trauma bond is part of marriage counseling.
Often, trauma occurs in childhood and we never feel safe talking about it.
Many times, trauma is not a choice, but something that happens. Now, a child is left with low mood, depression, sadness, and loss in adult years. And, feelings of abandonment and jealousy can be very intense for someone who is in a trauma bond. And, trauma from childhood abuse and neglect plays a role in marriage success.
What is a trauma bond in marriage counseling sessions?
People who are in a trauma bond often have a high conflict cycle of fighting. One moment, a day will be going well. The next, a massive fight breaks out and there are intense emotions. Often, people in a trauma bonds can work with a marriage counselor to develop calm communication skills.
How can marriage therapy help with a trauma bond?
Overall, marriage therapy can help you learn communication tools. Often, children who go through trauma are waiting for the other shoe to drop. As children, people in a trauma bond often learned to walk on eggshells at home. People in trauma bonds are capable of breaking free from negative cycles of abuse. You not longer have to live in fear and anxiety like you may have since you were a child.
It is possible to learn new ways of engaging in romantic relationships that are positive, healthy, and free of trauma.
If you believe a trauma bond is present among one or many of your relationships, it is crucial to seek help from a professional therapist. On that note, a therapist who can allow you to understand the root of your trauma bond. Often, childhood neglect and abuse leads to trauma attachment bonds. Essentially, a trauma bond with a romantic partner mirrors childhood abuse and abandonment. So, therapy can provide helpful coping strategies for self-soothing.
Essentially, a marriage therapist can help you break free of harmful trauma cycles.
A trauma-informed therapist can provide you with resources and tools to remedy and recover from a trauma bond. You will be able to resolve past trauma and release it from your spirit, body, and mind. At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can pick from creative therapies, painting, art, yoga, music, and nature therapies. And, for couples in a trauma bond, creative therapies can promote self-soothing.
What is a trauma bond in marriage counseling when it comes to high conflict fights?
From a place of inner relaxation, couples can work more closely to have a clear plan and strategy for negative conflicts. To add, you don’t have to suffer feeling alone, abandonment, or stuck in a high conflict fight. Frequently, the hardest work is mentally getting going and reaching out for therapy. Once this is done, you will be able to learn how to prevent a trauma bond from occurring in current and future relationships.
To begin, click the button to book a phone consult to heal your trauma bond in marriage counseling.
A therapist that specializes in trauma-work can significantly enhance your relationship with yourself and others, and help you to live a fulfilling and prosperous life.
Here at Wisdom Within Counseling, we have a creative team of therapists that are passionate about working with individuals who endured trauma. Often, trauma experiences can leave negative mental health issue. Also, trauma symptoms can look different for each person. Sometimes, trauma can lead to hyper vigilance, anxiety, trouble sleeping, and even anger and rage. So, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling support healing from a trauma bond in marriage counseling sessions. Overall, you can learn to express emotions in different ways, beyond words. Essentially, trauma bond healing can come from holistic outlets for past trauma memories. Maybe, right now anger and range come out more easily in marital conflicts. Well, healing a trauma bond in marriage counseling can include painting with your spouse. Also, you can do yoga poses and mindfulness meditation guided by your therapist to bring joy and peacefulness. Plus, yoga and couples meditations support self-care, thus
Essentially, to heal a trauma bond in marriage counseling, you can pick from art, yoga, music, and walking therapies.
Often, more traditional therapies miss out on including the body in trauma healing. Essentially, a combination of mind and body therapies promote more effective trauma healing. Additionally, creative, expressive arts in therapy provide confidence, clarity, and self-compassion. As well, mind-body therapies like drama therapy and rehearsals for growth methods. So, you can learn self-soothing holistic trauma techniques that support a loving, nurturing marriage. Overall, we offer a variety of expressive and traditional therapies such as art, yoga, and outdoor walk-and-talk, that are proven to be beneficial to trauma survivors.
Also, our therapists specialize in working with couples and families.
So, if you feel like working with your partner to resolve a trauma bond, we are well-equipped as marriage therapists with the necessary knowledge and skills to help you.
Remember, trauma does not have to define who we are and how we form relationships in the world. To add, trauma is not what happened to us, but rather how we respond to that event. With the help of counseling, you can learn how to respond to trauma in a healthy way, form meaningful relationships, and triumph over a harmful past experience that is hindering you from living your life in its fullest expression.
