Are you feeling unsupported emotionally or lonely in your marriage?
Do you wish you and your spouse had more things to do together? Feeling like bored roommates?
Are you looking for a positive, healthy relationship where you both feel supported, appreciated, and loved by each other? Old Saybrook, Ct marriage counseling helps you build a nurturing, healthy, loving realtionship.
Why is it essential for each person to have their own hobbies in a relationship?
To begin, hobbies allow each person to begin their best self to the marriage. Hobbies provide an outlet for work and family stress. From having a healthy hobby, you can feel rejuvenated. It is a pleasure break from work, just for you, and just a fun activity. Essentially, hobbies provide stress relief and without them, life feels like a lot of pressure. Worries of parenting, being good enough, and feeling insecure can lead to depression and anxiety. And, when you don’t have time for yourself, your mental health and marriage can suffer. Depression, anxiety, or laying on the couch without purpose are issues them develop. In the treatment of major depressive disorder, getting hobbies is an important coping skill. If your marriage is challenging and tense, having a hobby for yourself can be a healthy outlet for stress. On this page, learn more about high conflict marriage fights and reasons couples fight.
In Old Saybrook, Ct, marriage counseling helps you find a hobby you both enjoy.
How do you know when you need to get a hobby for yourself?
If you find yourself worried about your partner’s whereabouts for no reason, it is time to get a hobby. It’s normal to feel worried if experienced infidelity in your past. If your partner had an affair, it’s really normal to feel worried and anxious. Regardless, hobbies are helpful for anxiety and to expand the riches of your life. So, if you are worrying about your spouse for no reason, look into a hobby for your own confidence. To conclude, Old Saybrook, Ct marriage counseling is a safe place to explore fears around socializing or joining a new group. Couples therapy can help you develop confidence by taking action and trying something new!
If you struggle with depression and social isolation, hobbies are also a great way to meet new people. Yes, your spouse maybe your best friend. But, hobbies can help you make new friends too.
Join a local bicycle group or knitting circle. Further, in counseling hobbies provide balance and stabilize your mental health. Your spouse needs time away from you, which makes them healthier person. Just because your spouse wants to have some time with their friends, it doesn’t mean that they love you any less. Really, your spouse just needs time to rejuvenate them self. If your spouse is going out with friends, see if you can organize your own fun plans in advance. This way, you can organize time with your friends, go out to dinner, or do an art project. Remember, staying calm and resolving conflict is a sign of power and success in your marriage. Lastly, Old Saybrook, Ct marriage counseling helps you resolve conflict successfully rather than avoid it or give each other the silent treatment.
In marriage counseling, you can learn positive ways to release negative feelings in peaceful ways and bring your healthiest self into your romantic relationship.
How to support each other’s hobbies?
First, it is common that when couples try to develop their individual hobbies, intense emotions come up. For instance, fear of abandonment is very real. If you and your spouse have been spending every day together, couples therapy can be a safe place to build your own hobbies. A healthy couple relationship is a balance between independence and connectedness. You can learn to understand their fear of abandonment. Your spouse can learn to offer encouragement for when you want to hang out with your friend alone. And, couples therapy can be a place to think about couple hobbies, ones that you do together. Hobbies can be a great topic to bring up in relationship therapy sessions.
To begin, use the pink button to book a free 30-minute phone consultation for emotional intmacy, trust, and playfulness again thorugh marriage therapy.
In Old Saybrook, Connecticut, marriage counseling can help you feel support, appreciation, and genuine love.
Having hobbies, together and individually, are a big part of a healthy marriage. If you feel like you’re bored with your spouse and would like to spice things up, marriage counseling in Old Saybrook, can help. And, if you feel emotionally unsupported, it might be time to get a hobby for yourself and to look into a hobby for your couple bubble. Hobbies allow you to have your own identity outside your couple unit. Also, having a hobby can help you stay interesting to your spouse, in a fun way. With a hobby, you become more attractive too. You have a personality that’s ever-growing!
On the topic of seperate hobbies, how can you offer encouragement if a part also feels alone or abandonment?
Great question! Well, abandonment is getting triggered by your spouse having thier own plans and being independent. Think back to when abandonment first happened and see if it feels safe to share that. Esentially, don’t tell you spouse what they can or can’t do. Offer your feelings as the experience you are having, and reflect that to your spouse. Instead of, “No, you can’t hang out with your friends. You are spending the day with me. Don’t say of,”I won’t let you do that.” Instead, say, “I feel abandonment when I hear you have plans without me, and I feel happy looking forward to future plans with you. When are you thinking of being home?”
In your marriage, your therapist can help you calmly have these intense, meaningful conversations.
You may feel abandonment, anxiety, worry, and anger all at once when triggered in a high conflict argument! Also, after sharing your feelings calmly, your spouse may still go out. Breathe, take a bath, or do a fun puzzle, just for yourself. To add, make this an opportunity to practice self-care and love yourself. If your spouse needs time to themselves, trust that they will be back in a few hours. The time apart can make your marriage more fun and playful. Have fun yourself and keep yourself busy doing healthy activities when they are with their friends.
To begin, book a free, 30-minute phone consult to learn more about emotional clarity, healthy communication, and building a peaceful family life.
In Old Saybrook, Connecticut, marriage counseling can help you discuss and overcome anxieties and fears around abandonment.
At times, a fear of abandonment is triggered by your spouse having hobbies alone. The fear of abandonment is very real and can create attachment anxiety. Just like a toddler has anxiety leaving their parent for the first time, anxieties and fears in a marriage are the same. Essentially, fears of abandonment come from young years. In childhood, there may have been a moment where are you or your spouse didn’t get the love or nurturing when you needed it.
In Old Saybrook, Ct, in marriage therapy, what is the fear of abandonment, and how is it connected to the high conflict couple argument specialty at Wisdom Within Counseling?
Fear of losing someone or something we are attached to can be explored in marriage counseling in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. Often times, childhood trauma because lead to fears of abandonment. Now, a fear of abandonment can come from a lot of different childhood experiences. For instance, a fear of abandonment can come from watching a parent get incarcerated or as a child, watching a caregiver get into a high conflict argument. Also, fears of abandonment are apparent around parental separation, loss of a parent, loss of a sibling, and experiencing high conflict divorce as a child. Additionally, abandonment can also come from moving abruptly and multiple family moves. Relocations repetitively, leaves, and returns, like in military families, can lead to abandonment responses in children.
For example, how can a fear of abandonment develop in children a military family?
In a military family, a child doesn’t get to know the parent that is leaving for work to go to a country abroad. Essentially, that parent is completely unfamiliar and not connected to love. For one, their parent returning might be unrecognizable and not look like the pictures. Their voice, look, and smell is unfamiliar upon a return home and it can be an adjustment.
For some children, having this parent return home can be scary and trigger a trauma response of fight, flight, freeze.
For one, it might feel like a stranger is in the home and the child has to protect their home from this stranger. This child’s trauma response may be to stay awake at night listening for danger in a paranoid way. Or, another child’s trauma response may be your bite, kick, or run away from their parent, who feels like a stranger, upon coming home. Any response or behavior that is not traditional may be linked to a trauma experience. Over time, after daily life together, this military family member becomes a more trusted person to the child. Then, after months of readjusting to the family member’s return and slowly trusting them, the family member has to leave for work again, which triggers the child’s abandonment response all over again.
What are examples of traumas in childhood that impact the success of romantic relationships and married life?
The same pattern is true for children who have a parent who is inconsistent in their lives and unstable mentally. Perhaps, a child gets to see their parent every weekend for three months, but then suddenly, their parent moves across the country, gets hospitalized for schizophrenia, dies of cancer, or goes to jail. Now, the fear of abandonment and the abandonment response is a blueprint in this child’s body. So, 30 years later, in their marriage, the fear of abandonment is also triggered. When your spouse feels abandoned, it brings them back to feeling helpless as a child. So, they yell, scream, and slam doors in childlike ways. Marriage counseling gives you healthy outlets and skills for communication. In Old Saybrook, Connecticut, marriage counseling is a safe place to explore these traumatic childhood memories.
To begin, book a free 30-min phone conult using the pink button below. As a group of holistic marriage and family therapists in Old Saybrook, Connecticut, we help couples support each other emotionally and build a calm family life together after childhood trauma.
Right now, it might sound strange thinking that your spouse’s childhood events still impact them 30 or 40 years later.
Overall, childhood trauma and PTSD plays a huge role in high conflict marital arguments and resolving conflict in your marriage. On this note, when your spouse experiences a fear of abandonment, do they yell, scream, or blame you aggressively? Does it feel like a light switch flipped in your spouse? If so, this is a sign of a childhood trauma experience that is currently impacting your marriage. Seeing your spouse as living with PTSD can be educational and positive.
What if we tried marriage counseling before and it didn’t work?
Often times, when marriage counseling has not been successful in the past, and rather exhausting, it is because the therapist did not treat the childhood trauma. Wisdom Within Counseling helps couples love and accept themselves and each other. Really, childhood trauma creates a chronic fight, flight, or freeze response. And, this abandonment fear and trauma response prevents someone from living in the present moment. And, if your spouse is not living in the present moment, there is almost no way for them to enjoy life or your marriage!
Therefore, trauma sensitive couples counseling allows you both to learn about childhood trauma and start to change unhealthy trauma responses.
Essentially, what behaviors worked in childhood isn’t working in married life or family life. In Old Saybrook, Connecticut, marriage counseling helps you feel nurtured as you share vulnerable parts of your childhood and memories with your spouse. Couples therapy is a process in which you can both learn ways to emotionally support each other, whether that’s doing a fun hobby together, or being a shoulder when your spouse needs to cry. Emotional support is not something that you would learn in school, like math or science class. Essentially, Old Saybrook, Ct marriage therapy is a place to learn social and emotional coping tools to be emotionally confident and closer.
Over time, after each counseling session, you will leave with one more positive coping tool to handle anger or loss in a healthy, positive way that supports your marriage.
In Old Saybrook, Connecticut, holistic marriage counseling can be a personalized process of combining creative art, talking, yoga, and outdoor nature therapies to build a self love toolbox. And, having hobbies, both individually and as a couple, I can help you create outlets for stress and remain playful together along this journey of life. Whether your marriage is struggling due to a recent loss of a sibling, an affair and betrayal, or because you and your spouse are needing outlets for anger, our team of holistic marriage and family therapist in Old Saybrook, Connecticut are specialists in these marital therapy areas.
What is unique about your relationship therapy in Old Saybrook, Ct experience at Wisdom Within Counseling?
The holistic marriage therapists provide you with emotional confidence skills through talking as well as through creative art, nature, and couples yoga. Of course, traditional talking can be helpful and is always available to you and your marriage counseling journey. However, if frustrating conversations hold you at a standstill and keep you stuck in a negative place, creative therapies can help.
Creative art, nature as well as couples yoga are techniques to help you reboot into a positive cycle.
Therefore, the holistic marriage and family therapist in Old Saybrook, Connecticut specializes in helping anxious, distant, highly conflicted couples thrive using a combination of talking, video, art, yoga, and mind-body therapies to support a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Plus, each of these holistic therapies provides leadership, better self-esteem, and self-worth skills for lifelong mental wellness.
What to expect in Old Saybrook, Ct marriage counseling?
In Old Saybrook, Connecticut, marriage counseling sessions, you can expect a mix of both individual counseling as well as couples therapy. To add, individual counseling is a great way for your relationship therapist to learn about your childhood and your life before your marriage. Individual counseling also helps reduce high conflict fights, providing an outlet for anger and tension.
In holistic marriage counseling, you can creatively work together and build a beautiful, trusting, intimate, and emotionally secure a couple bubble.
If you are experiencing high conflict fights and aggressive arguments where you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, Old Saybrook, Connecticut, marriage counseling can help you understand trauma, step into playfulness, and work together to build an intimate, loving bond. Click the button below to book a call.
Mostly, couples therapy consists of sessions together in person or over video. Video counseling is a great way to receive mental health skills, no matter where you are worldwide. TeleTherapy is easy and simple. Many times, couples enjoy video sessions and video counseling because conveniently from their bed or from their living room. Overall, video counseling reduces traffic waits, driving times, and eliminates commuting to a therapy appointment.
Do you stuggle with feeling bored in your marriage? Are you wishing for an adreneline rush that you had in early years?
Feeling like roomates with your spouse? Additioanlly, you and your spouse can try a new hobby that both of you have never done before. Then, you can talk about the new hobby experience, the pain, the fear the fun, the whole thing. Maybe, you try yoga and you talk about the teacher’s tone of voice and favorite yoga poses. Or, you try skydiving and talk about fear of falling and the rush.
In Old Saybrook, Ct, marriage counseling is a fun place to think about new hobbies for spicing up your marriage.
