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What Is Compersion? Polyamory Couples Counseling

You may be in a long-term monogamous marriage and don’t want to get divorced, but you want sexual diversity. Maybe, you and your current partner love each other deeply, but also want to explore polyamory. Perhaps, you are currently in an open relationship, but struggling with intense emotions. Do you want to talk about jealousy, insecurity, anger, or anxiety with a polyamory affirming couples counselor? Wanting a therapist who understands ethical non monogamy and supports alternative relationship styles? Would you like help in polyamory couples counseling to talk about consent and boundaries. Wanting therapy to ensure everyone in your relationship is on the same page? Do you feel you have the capability to love more than one person and want to explore multiple romantic partners? Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in polyamory affirming couples therapy and ethical non monogamy.

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In a polyamorous and open marriage, there may be challenging, relationship, dynamics, or insecurities that get in the way of enjoying each other’s company.

Ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can be a great space to talk about conflicts and gain positive communication skills. To note, ethical non monogamy (ENM) therapy can support you in the coming out process too.

Why work with a specialist in polyamory and ethical non monogamy?

It can be helpful to work with an LGBTQIA+ therapist who specializes in ethical non monogamy and polyamory couples.

Many therapists push their own monogamous view and can’t truly understand polyamorous dynamics. Your ethical non monogamy and polyamory couples therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling won’t try to convince you to remain monogamous. As well, polyamory couples therapy means you get a specialist who understands the dynamics and benefits of being with multiple partners.

The team of polyamory couples therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling supports you in opening your marriage ethically. In some open marriages, partners need to be communicative about what goes on sexually. You may want to talk about boundaries like using protection with multiple sexual partners.

Let’s say you have newly opened your marriage.

You might feel comfortable cheering your spouse on, when they are going out on a date with someone else for the first time. However, your spouse or romantic partner may feel concerned or a struggle with compersion.

Ethically, non monogamous relationships can be incredibly healthy, but intense emotions can get in the way.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an alternative relationship specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling.


Ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling supports you no matter where you are in your journey

Polyamorous relationships start in many different ways. A great starting point in polyamory couples therapy is talking about consent. Consent is a part of healthy communication tools. You can also talk about your sex life, sexual satisfaction, emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, and building sexual desire.

If you are looking to open your marriage for the first time, polyamory couples counseling can help. When couples do not work with a specialist, a more general therapist may cause more harm than good. A non specialist may sadly, blame or criticize you for wanting an alternative relationship style. Or, a non education therapist may try to convince you to stay or be monogamous.

As well, a non affirming therapist may sadly blame your choice of opening your marriage for your anger or anxiety. In reality, monogamous couples and polyamorous couples alike struggle with jealousy, insecurity, anger, and anxiety.

Instead of feeling like you are unheard by a general therapist who doesn’t have education on polyamory, you can work with a specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling.

Gaining the skills from a specialist in ENM and open marriages can teach you self-regulation and communication tools.

Prior being in a monogamous relationship and then opening your marriage

Additionally, two people who are monogamous may have been together for a period of time. They are now inviting multiple people into their relationship. Or, each person may be dating multiple romantic partners individually. Polyamorous relationships can look different for each person and each couple. Now, you are each dating people and are experiencing new relationship energy.

New relationship energy is a feeling in the beginning of a new relationship.

You feel excited, in love, passion, attractive, sexually alive, and wanted. New relationship energy can be positive because you receive a boost in serotonin and dopamine. You start to feel better about your body image, your sexual performance, and excited in general. From new relationship energy, you may be able to acknowledge this boost in excitement.

You may even be able to use this new excitement to improve all relationships in your life. New relationship energy can lead you to feel excited about your work, school, and even your hobbies. Likewise, new relationship energy can sometimes cause a partner who is not feeling new relationship energy to feel insecure. They may feel jealous of how good you feel from your new relationship with another romantic partner. Recognizing the impact of new relationship energy can be a positive part of ENM and polyamory couples therapy. From there, you can utilize the benefits of new relationship energy in many areas of your life.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous (ENM) therapist who specializes in open and polyamorous relationships.


Should we open our marriage and explore ethical non monogamy if want more sexual diversity?

Some couples have been monogamous, and want more sexual diversity. You and your current partner may want to explore your sexuality. Maybe, you are queer, bisexual, or pansexual. And, you want to explore same sex partners in your ethically non monogamous relationships.

Sexual diversity can be a common reason that couples open their marriage. Maybe, your husband has never had an opportunity to be sexually active with a man or date a man. We grow up sheltered, and shamed for wanting to be different.

And, we don’t often feel encouraged to explore sexual diversity in teen and young adult years. Perhaps, you have always wanted to explore a kink or fetish that your current partner doesn’t want to try to explore.

Opening your marriage through polyamory couples counseling can support you in expressing needs of sexual diversity to your partner.

Relationships go through up’s and down’s, but sexual incongruences can be a reason to ethically open your marriage.

When one person has a higher sex drive, partners may choose to open their relationship to support these sexual needs. You and your partner may be talking about polyamory couples counseling to explore sexual diversity. As well, polyamory couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can support you in gaining validation skills.

Polyamory couples counseling can be a safe place to talk about sex, your sex drive, intimacy, erotic desire, bonding, and love. Having a third, fourth, or fifth person involved in your relationship can bring a sense of stability, joyfulness, and excitement. Therefore, if you don’t want to separate and divorce, polyamory couples counseling can help you decide if opening your relationship is right for you both.

If you have never been in an open relationship before, you may have reservations.

A voice in your head may wonder what others will think of you or if they’ll judge you. Polyamory couples counseling can give you space to talk about what opening your relationship looks like. You may have fear, worries, or anxieties due to it being unknown.

When you love being together, but different sex drives, polyamory can be a positive option for you both. Social influences can make you feel curious about exploring ethical non monogamy. You may have friends that take part in swinging, and want to try it. Or, your friends may go to sex clubs, and tell you about it. There is a lingering curiosity regarding your sexual identity, polyamory, intimacy, and sexual expression.

In general, polyamory couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you to explore your sexuality after years of being monogamous.

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To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

A lifetime of polyamorous relationships is also a great reasons to start in marriage counseling

Other people have been polyamorous their whole lives, and have always been dating more than one person since high school. Some people realize they have the capability to love more than one person from a young age.

With that said, you may feel like you are a failure at relationships, or sad that you can’t keep a partner you love long term. Counseling can help you boost your confidence and self-esteem after the ending of multiple relationships. Your ethically non monogamous therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can give you a safe space to talk about your polyamorous journey.

You can talk about things you like to do with romantic partners like showering together or having sex. Each person has different needs regarding connection and intimacy. Talking about emotions may be awkward, a struggle, or confusing. As well, when talking about feelings is uncomfortable, you can gain communication skills from polyamory affirming couples counseling.

Being in romantic relationships with multiple people means needing to be an amazing communicator. Plus, polyamory couples counseling can help partners better express their needs and talk about their feelings clearly. At times, you may find positive coping tools and strategies are part of counseling too. Even when you have been in a variety of polyamorous relationships, you may need to improve you communication skills. When you struggle being with passive aggressiveness, or moodiness, ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can help. Confident communication skills are key in having long-term, healthy polyamorous relationships.

Intense emotions like insecurity, anxiety, anger, and sadness can get in the way of having beautiful relationships with multiple romantic partners. 

What is compersion in your open marriage?

Compersion is an element of all healthy, long-term polyamorous relationships. As well, compersion means that you are happy for your partner when you see them excited and filled with joy. Compersion means tapping into your inner cheerleader and being happy for your partner. To add, compersion may be difficult for people who are newer to polyamory. But, compersion can also be a challenge no matter how long you have been polyamorous. To note, even people who have been polyamorous for years may struggle with compersion.

Working with an ethical non monogamous therapist and polyamorous specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling can support you in gaining compersion.

Also, compression means developing a high level of empathy. When you see your spouse, going on a date with someone else, compersion means feeling be happy for them. This is the opposite of envy, insecurity, and jealousy. When you see your partner getting excited for their date with someone else, compersion is being excited for them. Parts of you may feel afraid or anxious when your partner is out on their date. Compersion means pushing away and overcoming feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Part of developing compersion is trusting that you are a good enough partner. Additionally, compersion is about confidently knowing your partner will come back to you at the end of their date.

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LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy supports polyamorous parents in having positive conversations with their children.

Compersion in ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling is about being secure in your self and in your own identity. 

There are many issues that can get in the way of self-confidence. Gaining self-confidence can be a part of working with an ethical non monogamous specialist and therapist. As well, compersion is a feeling of joy and happiness that you got from seeing your partner happy. When you experience compersion, you feel joyful from hearing about your partner’s positive experience from a different partner.

Overcome shame and guilt in ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling

Due to monogamous stereotypes that we grow up with, there may be shame and guilt around opening your marriage. You might feel like you don’t know how to tell your friends and family that you are in an ethically non monogamous relationship. Parts of you want to come out, but parts of you fear rejection and isolation. The coming out process can be delicate and can be something you talk about with your polyamory affirming marriage therapist. Some couples choose to keep their open marriage to themselves. On the other hand, other couples build an LGBTQIA+ community of polyamorous friends. In LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy, you might identify one or two close friends that you would like to come out to. These friends may already be in polyamorous relationships or open relationships themselves. Some people decide to come out to the barista at the local coffee shop. Coming out to a stranger may be easier than a family member.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

In polyamory affirming couples counseling, you get a safe place to talk about the coming out process.

You might want to bring all of your romantic partners to a family reunion or a family holiday. Coming out to family members may be a necessary part of bringing your partners to a family holiday. You can talk about these needs and wants in polyamory couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling. Parts of you may feel anxious or unsure of your family member’s and their negative reactions.

Additionally, you may fear or anticipate negative reactions from your mother, father, grandparents, or even cousins. You can come up with a plan of what to say when you come out. As well, your therapist can help you navigate anticipated negative comments. Polyamory couples counseling can help you know how to remain self-confident, rather than swayed by negative views of others. You can gain self-confidence and learn to let go of people who push their monogamous views on you.

Just because your parents have never heard of a polyamorous relationship, doens’t mean it is wrong for you. Your family member may appear shocked and angry, or accepting and affirming. If your loved ones don’t believe in ethical non-monogamy, it doesn’t mean that it’s not right for you. Polyamory couples counseling can boost your self-confidence and self-expression. You’re an adult and you get to make choices that help you feel happy and alive. Polyamorous relationships can support you in being erotic and sexually expressive.

As well, counseling can be a safe place to come out to your children. When your children see you making out with your romantic partners, they may have questions. Children are usually very easy-going and accepting when it comes to having polyamorous parents. There are different children’s books, such as, “A Color Named Love,” that you can read to your children to better normalize polyamory for them.  

When you decide that you want healthy, ethically non monogamous relationship, your therapist can help you talk with your family and children. In addition to reading books to your children, you can encourage your parents to read books and articles about other polyamorous people.

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To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

Ethically non monogamous therapy and polyamory couples counseling can help you understand influences around your upbringing

If you’re you were raised in a strict religious home, or had a very religious upbringing, you may carry shame and guilt. Being different or wanting an alternative relationship style may have been seen as horrible or evil. Anything different than what society accepts as monogamous may trigger feelings of internal shame and rejection. As well, it can feel challenging to be a black sheep of your family when you are in love with multiple people.

Due to a strict, religious upbringing, you may be more reluctant to come out as polyamorous to your family. If you were raised in a strict, religious or even Catholic home, you may carry shame and guilt with you. You may reject parts of yourself as a result of feeling rejected by your religious upbringing and leaders you view as role models.

Your parents and family may be very traditional. Or, you may have grown up in a strict, traditional, and religious culture. Growing up, you may have felt your parents had a monogamous relationship themselves. They modeled just being in a relationship with one person. You may not have had role models that were polyamorous.

In counseling, you can talk about how your upbringing has influenced your views. Ethical non monogamous counseling and polyamory couples therapy can support you in overcoming shame and guilt.

Part of polyamory affirming couples counseling is breaking through these limiting monogamous beliefs.

To add, you can start to overcome the shame and guilt from a strict, religious upbringing around wanting multiple partners in counseling. Culture, society, and religious views tell us to only be with one person forever. Marriage to one person is publicly acceptable. When you can’t see a monogamous relationship working for you, you may feel ashamed, guilty, or confused. It is okay and normal to feel sexually attracted to multiple people at the same time.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethical non monogamous marriage therapist and polyamory specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling.

You know you have the capacity to love more than one person.

Parts of you may feel like you can’t fit into to this monogamous relationship style society pushes us towards. Even though your role models are monogamous, you know you want multiple romantic partners. It can be totally healthy and normal to be in polyamorous relationships. As well, LGBTQIA+ couples counseling can support you in talking about your sexual orientation. Furthermore, you may be coming out as non-binary, fluid, queer, bisexual, gay, or wanting to talk about gender. Many people who identify as queer and bisexual are in polyamorous relationships and have open marriages. You can talk about your sexuality and sexual expression in LGBTQIA+ affirming counseling.

Your polyamorous relationship therapist can help you overcome shame and guilt that can come along with being in love with more than one person.

Overall, you can learn to appreciate yourself for being wanting an alternative relationship style, than forcing yourself to be monogamous. You may feel like an outcast in your family for wanting to date multiple people and be romantically involved with multiple people.

LGBTQIA+ counseling for polyamory can help you identify limiting views like how culture tells us to fit into a limiting, stereotypical monogamous box. You can learn to overcome shame, guilt, and gain self-worth tools. In general, from therapy, you can overcome monogamous stereotypes and start to build self-confidence.

As well, when working with an open marriage specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling, couples can learn to bond and get close. To combat jealousy when sharing your partner, counseling helps polyamorous couples learn how to use positive words of affirmation. Additionally, ethically non monogamous couples can learn self-soothing and grounding skills. Open marriage and polyamory couples counseling can support you in reconnecting in your couple bubble together.

What are benefits to being in an ethically non monogamous relationship and polyamorous?

There are many benefits to having multiple romantic partners. Being in an ethically non monogamous relationship can have lots of positive sides. New relationship energy can make you feel good about yourself, and boost self-esteem and and self-confidence. Having romantic relationships with multiple people can be fulfilling and bring great joy. As well, you may be propelled to gain better communication skills. A new romantic partner can propel you to gain honest communication in new ways than ever before. You may find you are more respectful in your communication that you’ve ever been. Open marriage and polyamory couples counseling can be a safe place to talk about boundaries. For example, if you have children, you can talk about your children meeting your long-term romantic partners. You can talk with you polyamory couples counselor at Wisdom Within Counseling about introducing a long-term romantic partner to your children.  

When you have long-term polyamorous partners, they can be role models for your children.

They can help with child care, be a trusted babysitter, and make meals. Your children get to receive love from multiple consistent, reliable adults in their life. After establishing trust over time, you and your polyamorous friendly therapist can talk about introducing them to your children. Each long-term romantic partner can support your children in healthy ways. 

In some cultures, a grandparent may help with homework and offer children love. As well, in many cultures people who aren’t parents help out and support children. You may be in the process of creating a polyamorous family. One of your partners may be able to help your children with homework after school. And, another one of your polyamorous partners can prepare dinner. Having more adults in the home can help with structure and routines. With more adults at home, you can have more brain power to think creatively and create a positive reward system for your children.

The ethically non monogamous therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in polyamory couples counseling

Having more loving adults at home can help your children feel loved and have more positive role models as well. The more love the merrier. Each of your romantic partners can give love to your children in a positive, but different way.

For instance, your primary polyamorous partner might give your children love through hugs and humor. Another one of your partners may give your children love through their cooking. Also, another polyamorous partner may help with social skills. Another partner may give your children love by talking with them about anger, or by reading them stories at night.  

Children who are in polyamorous families can receive diversified love from all the stable, consistent adults in their life.

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To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

The more love the merrier when it comes to ethically non monogamous relationships and polyamorous couples counseling

Being in an ethically, non monogamous relationship can also help you feel loved as an adult. Growing up, you may have experienced trauma, loss, and emotional neglect. Feeling let down by your own caregiver can propel you to create a better, more loving family for yourself.

For one, you may have grown up in a home where you didn’t receive the love you deserved. You may have gone through a series of losses in your life and traumas. For instance, loss of a parent, loss of a grandparent, or loss of a sibling can be devastating.

Growing up in a dysfunctional home, or with narcissistic parents can propel you to surround yourself with positive people. And, these positive people may turn into your multiple lovers. You may want to create a loving family, and one that you did not have growing up. Having healthy, romantic bonds can be supportive and fulfilling.

If you were raised by emotionally distant parents, you may want a polyamorous family to give love to you and your children in healthy, nurturing ways you’ve never had. As well part of polyamory couples counseling can be talking about providing your children with loving role models that you didn’t have growing up.  

Being in an ethically non monogamous marriage may be part of your vision and your dream to feel loved.

One partner may not be enough for you. You might need to have multiple people that you text, call, and even live with to feel loved. As well, you may be a person that has always felt in love with multiple people at the same time. Additionally, you may feel like you are a person who can give love to multiple people. You can be loved by multiple people.

If you identify with being in love with two people at the same time, you may want to be polyamorous. Therefore, polyamory couples counseling can help you explore an open relationship.

Do you want a safe place to talk about your spouse dating other people and feelings of jealousy?

One of your partners may get jealous when you go out on a date with someone else. Polyamory from couples counseling can be a safe place to express gratitude, appreciation, and show affection for all of your partners.

Polyamorous relationships can lead to feelings of jealousy, especially when your partner is going on a date with someone else. You might struggle with feeling left out or unattractive. Polyamory affirming couples counseling can help you have a safe space to talk about how you can release jealousy. As well, ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can help partners communicate their needs for attention in healthy ways.

Ethically non monogamous polyamory affirming couples therapy is a speciality at Wisdom Within Counseling

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Why is it important to schedule time together to prioritize your partners in ethically non monogamous, polyamory couples counseling?

In some polyamorous relationships, partners are all equal and another polyamorous relationships, some partners are more of a priority than others.

Talking about which partners take precedence can be a part of ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling. To note, some partners may be a priority over others. Polyamory affirming couples therapy can give you space to share your emotions. There may be fears that one partner will break up with you if you don’t give them the attention they want.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

Ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can be a safe place to talk about a schedule.

Some poly and ENM couples talk about which days of the week would be set aside for the primary partner. There may be specific days, like Saturday nights, where you and your primary partner both go out on a date with someone else. Or, you may have Saturday nights set aside for a date night for the three, four, or five of you all together.

What does ENM and polyamory couples counseling look like?

In polyamory couples counseling and ENM therapy, you can meet with all of your partners together. You can also meet individually with your ENM couples therapist as well as with just one of your partners at a single time.

Your Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory affirming couples therapist can help you articulate your needs.

As well, you can learn to communicate your wants more effectively. One of your polyamorous partners may want touch, kisses, and physical affection. But, another partner partner may desire talking and quality time. Each of your partners might need a different need for love, attention, and sexual expressiveness.

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If you want to increase your intimacy and build upon your sex life, polyamory affirming couples counseling is a great place to do so.  

It might feel overwhelming at first navigating different emotions between your multiple romantic partners. Some couples get stuck opening due to jealousy, anger, and anxiety from multiple partners.

There may also be a pattern of opening a relationship, feeling excited, and then closing your relationship. Some couples close their relationship after opening it due to feelings of anger, jealousy, and insecurity.

Ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can help partners overcome fear and anxiety.

Instead of getting stuck in this opening and closing cycle, you can feel comfortable having an ethically non monogamous relationship. Partners get a safe place to discuss anger, jealousy, fear, and panic that can set in. 

There may be fears of be alone or fears of abandonment that you can discuss. Notably, a regular weekly meeting with your couples therapist can help your romantic partners come together. It can be positive to know that your couples therapist can help mediate intense conversations.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

Overcoming anger, anxiety, and fear of abandonment in polyamory affirming couples therapy

It might be really stressful when one of your partners gets angry, so you can talk about that with your ethical non monogamy therapist and polyamory couples counselor. Perhaps, one partner gets explosive and angry and this bothers you. And, when your partner explodes in anger, they steal you joy and happiness. When one or multiple partners gets angry, it can be scary. You might feel unsure how to talk to you partner when they get angry or explosive. Perhaps, you don’t want to wake the bear, and feel like you walk on eggshells around them when they are in a bad mood. Talking about ager can be a component of polyamorous affirming couples therapy.

Pregnancy and discussions about raising children

As well, another one of your romantic partners may not have not your children yet. They may desire to have children of their own with you. Having children with a polyamorous partner can be a big decision. You may wonder if your partner can financially support a child.

Some polyamorous couples live together and some lives separately.

One of your romantic partners may want financial independence and to live by themselves. Another one of your romantic, polyamorous partners may want to live with you. Moving in together and buying a home together are big life transitions that you can talk about in ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling. You can talk about establishing a home together and taking your relationship to your next level.

To begin, book a phone consult below to work with an open marriage specialist and marriage therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling.

Moving in together can be a great topic to bring into ethical, non-monogamous counseling.  

When you and one of your romantic partners or multiple romantic partners decide to cohabitate, this can lead to more challenges. To add, some polyamorous couples have conflicts around daily activities. For example, one of your partners may struggle with doing laundry and household chores. They may leave dirty dishes around. Before moving in together your sex life was vibrant and erotic. After moving in together, you may find that your sex life and intimacy decreases. Moving in together can be exciting, but also be a cause for sexual dissatisfaction.

As a result of one of your partner is not doing their share of household chores, you feel a little bit resentful of them. Ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can help you to talk about your feelings.

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When you are polyamorous, you might need a therapist to help navigate the emotions that go along with being in love with multiple people.

When you are in love with multiple people, one romantic partner may say they are supportive of you dating others. But, when you come home from that date, they are passive aggressive, or angry with you.

One of your partners might not know how to communicate their deeper emotions. Ethical non monogamy therapy and polyamory couples counseling can help multiple partners be more clear in their communication.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

Your LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help you develop healthy communication skills.  

Polyamory affirming couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can be a safe place to gain better communication tools. You can work through these emotional incongruities together. As well, you can talk about what it means to feel loved in ENM counseling. You can talk about how you like to be given attention and your love languages in ethically non monogamous relationship counseling.

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Loss, grief and trauma in polyamory couples counseling

Polyamory affirming couples counseling can be a safe space to talk about the losses and traumas from your past. Each partner may have different emotional triggers due to their traumas and losses.

For instance, if one of your partners lost their parent, they may be more triggered around fears abandonment. A break up from a partner can re-trigger these fears of abandonment.

If one of your partners has experienced miscarriage or loss of a child, they may be more sensitive around their body image, fertility, and pregnancy announcements.

Each person in a polyamorous relationship brings their own unique set of triggers to the relationship. You can talk about your unique triggers, traumas and losses in ENM counseling.  

One of your partners may also be estranged from their family, leading to a desire to be loved and accepted by their multiple romantic partners. If one of your partners doesn’t have a strong sense of family from childhood, it is normal to want to feel loved and safe around their multiple romantic partners.  

Trauma and loss can be great topics to bring to ENM and polyamory affirming couples counseling.

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To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

What is kitchen table polyamory when it comes to ethically non monogamous therapy and polyamory couples counseling?

Kitchen table polyamory is when everyone who lives together invites over their romantic partners, and non-sexual partners. And, everyone can sit at the same dinner table and eat a meal together. In kitchen table polyamory, everyone is on the same page, good friends with each other, and part of each other support, and at work. So, even though not everyone may be sexually involved with each other, there is a sense of togetherness. All parties feel a sense of unity from kitchen table polyamory structures.

You can talk about different structures with you ethically non monogamous therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling in polyamory couples counseling

In some polyamorous relationships, relationships are strictly emotional. There might be a good morning text sent between partners, but there are no sexual experiences occurring. These type of polyamorous relationships can reduce the risk of STI’s and STD’s. But, people still feel loved and cared about. When people are in strictly emotional relationships, there can be a sense of comfort from talking on the phone. Partners provide one another with a sense of care and nurturing. Emotional intimacy is a big value in non-sexual polyamorous relationships. An asexual person, for instance, may be in a non-sexual polyamorous relationship. Polyamory couples counseling at Wisdom Within can help you decide what type of ENM relationship is best for you.

Other types of polyamorous relationships are sexual in nature.

There will be different boundaries around sexual exchanges. Partners may use polyamory couples counseling sessions to discuss boundaries around protected vs. unprotected sex. As well, you can talk about how much you want to tell one another about your sexual activities with other people.

You and your partner may discuss being sexually open other people, but need to tell each other about it. Other partners don’t want to know about sexual experiences their partner is having with other people. There is no one wrong or right way to be polyamorous. However, the most important part is consent from all parties.

Polyamorous relationships can look different for each person. There may be a polyamorous V, or a polyamorous quad. In a polyamorous V, one person is dating two different people, but those two people are not dating each other.

Throuples can also be a form of open relationships and polyamorous relationships.

In a throuple, three people are dating each other and are usually sexually active with one another. Two people may be having more frequent sexual activities. With that said, a throuple is an ENM relationship and is a connection between all three people. In a throuple, people may live apart, or together. Usually, all people are romantically involved. 

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

The structure of your open marriage and polyamorous relationship can change over time.

Poly quads

A couple may take part in swinging, where there are specific days for sexual experiences with other individuals and couples. A polyamorous couple may become emotionally attached to another couple from spending time together. Then, they may choose to form a sexually exclusive polyamorous quad. Also, in a polyamorous quad, all people are typically dating each other, and sexually involved with one another. With that said, in a polyamorous quad two of the four people may have times where they are sexually active together. Other times, all four people are sexually active together too. 

Break ups can be a part of your work with an ethically non monogamous therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling and polyamory couples therapy

What can be difficult is when one of your polyamorous partners breaks up with you. Going through heartbreak while dating other people can be both good and bad. Having other people to turn to can be supportive. You can feel support from current partners that love you through a break up.



The extra support can be positive during loss and a break up.

Your other partners can support you, as you are going through heartbreaking loss. However, it can be challenging to continue to give sexually. You may feel depressed, or anxious that another partner will abandon you too. It can be hard to remain excited with your other polyamorous partners when you are suffering from heartbreak and a break up.

As well, polyamory couples counseling can help you talk about your hopes and dreams. You may have wanted something long-term with the person who broke up with you. Polyamory couples counseling can be a safe place to talk about how you wanted something long lasting with the partner who broke up with you.

Despite what may have gone on in their own life and whatever reason they gave you for the break up, you have every right to feel sad, grieve the loss of this relationship, and mourn.

To begin, book a phone consult below to work with a polyamory couples counselor and gain positive communication skills.

Polyamory affirming couples therapy can be a great place to mourn the loss of a relationship that you hoped would be sustainable and long-term.

It can be confusing and disappointing to be broken up with. You even you might feel blindsided being broken up with.

Because you have been broken up with, and your other partners are seeing you undergo heartbreak, they may be angry or mistrusting of your ex now. It is normal for your current partners to feel protective over you after you have been broken up with.



Your polyamorous partners can talk in counseling about the negative feelings they have towards your ex, who has broken your heart and hurt you. Also, your polyamorous partners may also need to grieve and mourn the loss of this person if you were all sexually involved together. If your partners were also involved with this ex, ENM counseling can be a place for them to grieve as well as for you to mourn. 

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

Open marriage and polyamory couples counseling can help you communicate better

Even though being polyamorous may seem alternative or non-traditional, there are millions of people who are polyamorous relationships. Tons of people are in happy, ethically non monogamous relationships. One of the most important parts of being polyamorous means being a good communicator. To add, polyamory couples counseling can help with communicating your needs upfront.

We often don’t learn how to be healthy communicators from growing up from our parents.

If your parents or your partner’s parents used passive aggressive language or were critical, it can be damaging. Maybe, your parents didn’t talk about feelings growing up. LGBTQIA+ counseling can help you process your past trauma from childhood. Therefore, ethically non monogamous couples therapy can be the first time you get to explore these healthy communication topics. Polyamory affirming couples counseling can teach you communication skills. Gaining healthy communication skills can be a wonderful benefit from polyamory affirming counseling.

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In polyamory couples therapy, you can talk about relationship boundaries that you feel have been violated.

Betrayals, cheating, and dishonest communication can be damaging. In both polyamorous relationships, lies and dishonesty can lead to trust issues. When there have been emotionally painful moments in your realtionships, you may feel doubtful of a future with your partners. You and your partners may need a safe place to talk about your needs and how you feel hurt. Right now, you might feel like you are walking on eggshells. As a result of hurt, you may find it hard to trust what you partner says, even though you love them.

A part of you wants to continue the relationship because when they are good, you have fun times together. However, another part of you wants to vocalize your values and establish boundaries again. When one or multiple partners are being deceitful, you may live with high levels of anxiety. If you partner has been dishonest repeatedly, you may feel exhausted of their lies. Betrayal, lying, and dishonesty may be behaviors counseling can help your partners look at and process. Ethical non monogamous marriage counseling and polyamory couples counseling can help you repair. Your ENM therapist can give you skills for rebuilding emotional security and emotional confidence in your relationship.

Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in ethically non monogamous marriage therapy and polyamory couples therapy.

Remember, you are not alone in your search for a polyamorous affirming couples therapist. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling, specialize in couples who are in polyamorous relationships, as well as monogamous ones.

No matter the type of relationship you are choosing, the most important piece is consent. Consent can be part of gaining honest and healthy communication tools. Once all of your partners have consented to be in a polyamorous relationship, you get a safe place to talk about boundaries and potentially renegotiate boundaries as you see fit.

Being in a polyamorous relationship can be exciting, fulfilling, and bring out a whole different side of you that you never knew existed. You may feel a sense of aliveness that you never have before due to new relationship energy.  

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.


The team of polyamory couples therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling support couples in opening their realtionships.

Part of your vision and your goal with being in an ethically non monogamous relationship may be to experience sexual diversity, to feel loved, cared for, and emotionally bonded. You might be opening an existing monogamous relationship and exploring ethical non monogamy. Or, you may be wanting to explore a polyamorous relationship on your own. Without professional support, opening your relationship can be traumatizing and go poorly. Also, at Wisdom Within Counseling, your therapist can incorporate holistic elements into polyamory couples counseling.

To note, the team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling support same sex couples, queer couples, non-binary couples, and alternative relationships. No matter your upbringing or culture, you deserve healthy love and to feel loved. ENM and polyamory couples counseling can support you in creating healthy relationships. You can create healthy romantic, friendship, sexual, or other kinds of relationships through LGBTQIA+ couples therapy. Wisdom Within Counseling is a diversity inclusive practice and supports couples in all different relationship structures.

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Holistic therapies support closeness, intimacy, and emotional bonding

These holistic therapies include mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and even painting. Art and painting can be a language beyond words to help you communicate better with your multiple romantic partners. Mindfulness meditation can provide self-regulation skills and self calming techniques. You can use mindfulness meditation skills in those moments when you feel anxious or panic coming over you. 

Where can we help poly couples?

The team of polyamory couples therapy specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling help couples in Connecticut and Florida. In Connecticut, Wisdom Within Counseling helps couples in Stamford, Stratford, Danbury, Hartford, Litchfield, Glastonbury, Meriden, Old Saybrook, Clinton, East Lyme, Westport, Riverside, Darien, Mystic, and Stonington, Old Greenwich, Wilton, Weston, and Greenwich. Additionally, in Florida, Katie Ziskind helps ENM couples in Orlando, Jacksonville, Homestead, Key Largo, Key West, Melbourne, St. Cloud, Ocala, Indian Harbor, Palm Beach, Key Biscayne, Pinecrest, Parkland, Southwest Ranches, Miami Shores, Palmetto Bay, Naples, West Palm Beach, and Miami. We offer in person counseling as well as video therapy sessions in Florida and in Connecticut. Katie Ziskind and the team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize with couples exploring ethical non monogamy, polyamory, and open marriages.

Due to the counseling compact, Katie Ziskind helps couples in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansa, Louisiana, Tennessee North Carolina, Kentucky, Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, Maryland, Delaware, Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, New Hampshire, and Maine.

Our team at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in couples therapy and couples who are wanting support exploring alternative relationships and ethical non monogamy.

To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an ethically non monogamous therapist and for polyamory couples counseling.

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