What to do if your child comes out as gay, bisexual, pansexual, or transgender?
Meeting with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist can be a great first step. In addition, your child may not want to goto school, have dropping grades, and depression. As well, your adolescent may be having low self-esteem, social isolation, negative thoughts, and body shame. If your child or adolescent comes out as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, you are not alone. It can be a confusing time. Many teenagers and young adults are talking about their sexuality, gender, and sexual orientation with their friends. In school, your teenager may have a friend who has come out as gay or bisexual. They may become curious about themselves and their identity.
To begin, click below to book a phone consult to work with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist.
Children as young as two or three years old learn about gender without realizing it.
Little girls are often dressed in pink and in dresses. On the other hand, boys are cultured to be more masculine, strong, and wear blue.
If your child is coming out, they might want to pick a different outfit, colors of clothing, or even change their hair.
For one, be as LGBTQ affirming as possible by listening to your child and trying to understand them. Working with an Old Lyme, Connecticut child therapist who specializes in transgender issues can be very positive. Conflicts at home can increase due to different beliefs. Often, parents may feel their teenager is going through a phase, which is not true.
Do’s and don’t’s when your child comes out as part of the LGBTQIA+ community
So, don’t tell your teenager, “It is just a phase.” Even if their gender identity is fluid, embrace that journey of learning with them. Don’t think that them being gender fluid is only as small part of them as their identity is large part of who they are.
Also, ask what your child what they need to have in terms of your support.
Is it talking together about their gender identity regularly, or having social LGBTQIA+ queer connections in the community? If you need help, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling can support you in hosting a coming out party. As a parent, take action and read books about transgender or LGBTQIA+ families. Put an LGBTQIA+ flag out front of your house to be affirming.
Also, finding LGBTQIA+ affirming doctors is very important.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize with children, teenagers, and adults who are gender expressive, queer, or non-binary.
- Use their preferred pronouns
- Listen to their story
- Focus on their preferred name and why
- Find supports in your community
- Understand anger and anxiety may be part of the process
- Meet with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling
Listening to your child’s story can help you understanding their emotions. Many times, parents are worried their teen is heading down a bad path. So, talking with your adolescent can help build a positive relationship and emotional security.
To begin, click below to book a phone consult to work with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist.
The more open in communication you are, the more your adolescent will come to you when they are hurting emotionally.
Perhaps, they have a friend that is going through something and are curious themselves. To note, part of fluid sexual orientations and gender is part of a developing identity. These are good signs your teen is thinking about who they are. Listening to your child’s story can help you understand if they are getting bullied at school or by teachers. Also, make sure that everyone in their life they want, uses their preferred name out of respect. Focusing on your child’s preferred name at home and school, can help you be LGBTQIA+ affirming and help them feel respect.
In addition, ask you child where they feel safe having their new named shared.
Certain environments may not be pro-LGBTQIA+. Maybe, their grandparent is very religious and would not be affirming. So, talk with your child about where they feel safe using their preferred pronouns.
Anger and anxiety may also be part of the coming out process. Your friends and family might need to LGBTQIA+ education on being affirming and transgender affirming. Working with a child therapist to understand and educate other family members on LGBTQIA+ is helpful in making sure all members of your family are LGBTQIA+ affirming. An older brother, another parent, or even a grandparent may say something isolating and rejecting without realizing it. Talk with your teen about feeling anxious before family gatherings, or how to handle siblings who do not show respect.
Any type of rejection that your child feels in the coming out process can lead to internalized shame.
They might feel guilty for coming out or feel like they are to blame for a family problems due to their gender or sexual orientation.
If your child is transitioning genders, you might be the more affirming parent in your home. For one, it is great that your teen is talking to you about their gender and sexuality. That is very positive. Their other parent may benefit from family therapy to understand what it means to have a transgender or gender expressive child. Also, going to family therapy can promote better communication and more positive relationships.
To begin, click below to book a phone consult to work with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist.
Transgender child therapy specialists in Old Lyme, Connecticut
In transgender child therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut, your child, teenager or young adult can use art therapies, music therapies, and yoga therapies. These help provide positive lifestyle coping strategies for releasing anger, anxiety, guilt, and even frustration.
Working with a holistic family therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling in Old Lyme, Connecticut can help you ensure your home is a safe, LGBTQIA+ affirming, calm environment.
Even though your teenager or child comes out as gender expressive, LGBTQIA+, or bisexual, it is still important to set boundaries. Your teenager might feel frustrated about rules in your house. So, parenting sessions can help you make rules to keep them safe, while having open communication about LGBTQIA+ expression.
Furthermore, in family therapy sessions that incorporate expressive arts, walking therapy, yoga therapy, and music therapy, your family can build playfulness and connection together.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling offer a holistic and creative approach to helping families. Drama therapy, musical instruments, walking, clay, art and painting together as a family to build connection. It might be really hard if your spouse was raised in a strict religious home. Or, a family member living with your LGBTQIA+ teen is not accepting. Their non affirming family member might be confused about labels. So, family therapy that is LGBTQIA+ and transgender affirming in Old Lyme, Connecticut helps greatly.
Why work with an Old Lyme, CT child therapist who specializes in LGTBQIA+ and transgender care?
In holistic child therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut, your child may need help identify anger, worry, sadness, or jealousy. Many young adults don’t have positive coping tools to release and let go. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we teach positive skills for releasing feeling sin healthy ways. Even though your teenager or child comes to you, still love them just the same. Don’t let their gender or sexual orientation change the way you think about them. They are still going to live a happy, healthy life. Family therapy can help with reducing conflict at home from transgender biases and lack of LGBTQIA+ education.
Friendships, school avoidance, and social skills when working with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist
Even though your child or teenager maybe gender expressive or gender questioning, they may also be going through different social challenges. Your non-binary teenager or your child may have poor grades in school and not want to go to school. Additionally, your adolescent may be hanging out in their room and not wanting to eat food with their family.
Self-isolation and depression are very common in transgender or gender questioning youth.
Queer, non-binary, transgender, and bi-gender children are more at risk for suicidal thinking when not feeling acceptance from family. Self-isolation and depression can come from family rejection. In therapy, you can talk about acceptance and practice affirming language. LGBTQIA+ inclusivity is a skill just like learning math or science. Working with a queer, non-binary, or bi-gender therapist can help your whole family reduce rejection.
To begin, click below to book a phone consult to work with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist.
Teenagers and children needing therapy may be more moody and irritable.
Becoming easily irritable is common when a teen is misgendered or called their dead name. Everything is connected. They may have low school motivation, or anxiety as well as school avoidance. As well, your child may be questioning their gender, or transgender, and also get bullied at school. Friendship issues and social skills are something that we specialize in during the process of child therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut.
In Old Lyme, Connecticut, working with a child therapist can help your adolescent develop more nurturing, positive friendships.
They can start to set boundaries with friends that ask too much of them. As well, your child can learn to interact in new social environments and overcome social anxiety. Walking therapies are great for building positive coping tools and confidence.
Drama therapy, art therapy, music therapy, and nature therapies support self-esteem development.
From holistic counseling in Old Lyme, Connecticut, your child or a teenager can have a positive coping tool box for confidence. If your adolescent is non-binary or has picked a different name, our therapists can help them feel confident in their decisions while making new friends.
Anxiety in LGBTQIA+ children Old Lyme, CT child therapist
Sometimes, children and teenagers will have anxiety in their coming out process. Just like they might have anxiety around trying a new food, they may have anxiety about their new identity being accepted. On the first day of school using their new name, it is normal for them to feel nervous. As well, your child or teenager may have anxiety when they go to a new place with new friends. Something that is unknown or unfamiliar can be scary.
Medical conditions for LGBTQIA+ children
Your child or teenager and may have medical conditions like diabetes, that cause them to be anxious about their body. Being queer, non-binary, or bi-gender can feel like a lot to manage. In addition to the emotion challenges of medication conditions, you teen may feel bullied. It can be scary going to an appointment and not being treated with respect. Doctors may not be LGBTQIA+ affirming. Many times, young adults will not goto the doctor due to feeling rejected in the past by medical professionals. Your child may have fears around going to hospitals for many reasons. They may have allergies, see a specialist, or even need extra support at school for a medical condition.
Hereditary parent-child anxiety that runs in the family
Anxiety can also be passed down from parent to child. So, child therapy and teen therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut helps adolescents and teenagers learn positive strategies for releasing anxiety. In parent sessions, you can release anxiety using meditations, relaxation skills, and holistic techniques. For instance, that might be going for a walk and talk session by the beach in a parent session.
What about play therapy?
Your child’s therapist can also use creative play therapy to help them build anxiety management skills. In Old Lyme, Connecticut, children can also use play therapy to build a toolbox of skills. Learning to overcome anxiety, trauma, and PTSD takes time. Creative therapies are always available when working with a child therapist here. Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in trauma and PTSD in children too.
Play therapy in Old Lyme, CT allows us to connect with your toddler who might not have language skills yet.
Anxiety can also come from loss. If your child has lost a parent, a sibling, or caregiver of any kind like a grandparent, that can lead to feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety. As Old Lyme, CT child therapists, we help child precess loss and grief by using clay, painting, musical instruments, and art therapy. As well, to help children express feelings of loss and sadness, art, painting, yoga, and drama therapy helps. Often, loss and grief from trauma might present as anxiety.
Depression and low self-esteem are part of the specialities in Old Lyme, CT when working with a LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist
To begin, click below to book a phone consult to work with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist.
What are reasons to start in trauma and PTSD therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut?
- Observing family violence and domestic violence
- Loss and death of a grandparent, sibling or caregiver
- Surviving sexual abuse, sexual assault, molestation, rape, physical abuse
- Foster care, adoptions, multiple family moves
- Family secrets around adoption
- Having a sibling or parent with mental health issues, alcoholism, or addiction
About Wisdom Within Counseling in Old Lyme, Connecticut
You can come to our office, sit on a couch and have a relaxing conversation. Talking about being queer, non-binary, or gay is totally acceptable. As well, you can get positive support and emotional support. Your LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist will offer nurturing energy. No matter if you want to talk about your sexual orientation, gender, or sexuality, our team provide you creative coping tools. And, these emotional tools are helpful overcoming anxiety and for confidence.
Play Therapy
Play therapy is the language of the child, who can’t verbalize their experiences like an adult can. We work with children three years old and up. Child-centered play therapy offers puppets, legos, toy cars, toy people, musical instruments, play dough, and more to provide skills for emotional identification. Children as young as three can be queer, non-binary, or gender questioning. This can bring up anger, anxiety, jealousy, and fear. Children deeply benefit from positive coping tools.
To begin, click below to book a phone consult to work with an Old Lyme, CT LGBTQIA+ and transgender child therapist.
Drama therapy
Have you enjoyed drama club, musical theater, or storytelling? In drama therapy, your child’s therapist may use short skits, acting, and laughter to help. Furthermore, you and your child can step out of a survival mindset and into a playful mindset. Parents and children tend to get stuck in fear after trauma. As families, we get stuck in routine patterns and what we call “survival mind.” As well, your child can role play friendship scenarios and what it feels like to come out. Drama therapy helps build an “adventure mindset” that may have often left behind in trauma. Drama therapy is great for learning to live fully in the moment. For instance, if your child is worried about rejection or bing accepted, drama therapy can promote positive life changes by playfully exploring alternative roles.
Walk and Talk Therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut
Maybe, your child is feeling anxious from sitting all day. To release anxiety, they can do an outdoor walk-and-talk session by the beach. During walk and talk therapy, they can relax smelling the salty air, and do some movement therapies. By the Niantic Bay Boardwalk is where we go for walking therapies. Movement therapy helps LGBTQIA+, non-binary, and queer adolescents release anxiety and relieve depression. Walking therapy in Old Lyme, CT supports lifelong coping tools for mental wellness and self-care.
Music Therapies in Old Lyme, Connecticut
In each office, we have a variety of instruments to choose from to provide a language beyond words. Your LGBTQIA and queer affirming therapist may offer you music to help you unload or access emotions. As well, your child can reach for an instrument and play creatively to express anger, or anxiety. We have wooden and steel tongue drums, mahogany djembes, clappers, metal triangle, shakers, and a guitar to support emotional expression through the power of sound. A child and play therapist may as your child to play what worry sounds like, or mirror a sound back.
Yoga Therapies in Old Lyme, Connecticut
You can pick from mindfulness meditation, yoga poses, calming breathing skills, gentle movement, positive affirmations, stretching and yoga therapies to release your body and mind.
Art Therapies in Old Lyme, Connecticut
Wisdom Within Counseling has an art closet with materials to choose from for expressing emotions beyond words. Using clay and painting helps release intense feelings and lowers anxiety. Many LGBTQIA+ teenager are needing creativity. Art, drama, yoga, music, and walking therapies teach resilience. Talking about anxiety may only go so far, so doing art about what anxiety feels like can provide freedom in expression.
Locations for LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy
In addition to Old Lyme and Lyme, Connecticut, we help the following towns with LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy: Fenwick, New Canann, Essex, Easton, Bridgewater, Easton, Darien, Tolland, Greenwich, Weston, Mystic, Washington, Kent, Madison, Ivoryton, Warren, Woodbridge, Stonington, Salisbury, Shelton, Killingworth, Bloomfield, Wilton, Rye, Westport, Avon, Wilton, Ridgefield, Glastonbury, Redding and West Hartford. Wisdom Within Counseling also offers video telehealth counseling to Florida and Massachusetts residents.
