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What is it like to live with trauma?

Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, and at some point in your life, you will experience an event that leaves you traumatized. The trauma can stem from losing a loved one, being assaulted or in a car accident, or a natural disaster. 

No matter what caused your trauma, dealing with it can be challenging, and it can even change a person completely. Being reminded of the incident that led to the trauma can cause wounds to be reopened. This is why the simplest of tasks, like searching for car insurance for disabled adapted vehicles, can send someone on a downward spiral.  

Despite many having trauma, there is still a wide range of individuals who do not realize they live with it. Everyone does not respond the same way to trauma, but knowing what living with it can be like could help some people identify their own trauma or even allow them to be more patient with people who are dealing with it. 

Replaying the Memory in Their Head

Though the event that caused the trauma is not joyous, many often recount the incident in their head again and again. It is like watching the same scene in a movie on a loop. This can happen when the brain is trying to understand why the incident occurred, or the person is attempting to make peace with the situation by responding to it in what they perceive as an ideal response. 

Alternatively, someone may merely be struggling to forget the event, and the memory keeps replaying in their head. No matter why they are replaying the memory in their head, these instances are still very distressing and can inflict more trauma.

When you find yourself replaying memories of traumatic events in your life, seeking counseling in southeastern Connecticut could help you get to the root of this recurring phenomenon and stop it.

Persistent Fear and Anxiety

After someone is hurt or frightened, they usually avoid reengaging with the thing that hurt or frightened them. They may also grow fearful and anxious when they feel like they are in a similar situation, which leads to them being hurt or frightened.

Fear and anxiety are natural responses to trauma, which is why they are some of the most common emotional reactions to traumatic events.

In worst cases, fear and anxiety are worse than when the event actually occurred because the person is now aware of the end result of such an instance.

Flashbacks of the Traumatic Experience

Before my mother passed away, she was rushed to the hospital, where they attempted to revive her. After she passed, they allowed me to see her body, and that event was a traumatic experience for me. I felt as though because her body was still warm and there, I could do something to save her.

Accepting that I could not save her was what led to my trauma, and for a while, I had flashbacks to that exact moment.

For me, guilt and anxiety guided my flashback, but for others, their flashbacks could be triggered by numerous reasons. It took learning how to manage depression after a loved one dies and speaking with a therapist to stop the flashbacks from occurring. 

Anxiety counseling In East Lyme, CT can help you diminish the times you have flashbacks of the traumatic experience you went through at some point in your life.

Difficulty Trusting People

When the event that caused the traumatic event was brought on by another person, trusting people afterward can be understandably difficult. This is especially true when a person was caught off guard by another person’s acts. Then they believe anyone can cause them harm.

Difficulty trusting other people can lead to lost relationships and difficulty in creating new ones, and that lack of trust can even cause issues in daily tasks like adding your partner to your insurance.

Blaming Oneself for the Trauma

Similar to feeling guilty over a traumatic event, a person can also blame themselves for the trauma. The guilt leads them into believing that they could have controlled the outcome of the traumatic event.

Though their brain convinces them this is true, no one knows what another result could have been because anything can happen.

When you see that your loved one is blaming themselves, learning how to help your depressed ones when they isolate themselves can help. Here are what some common phrases sound like when people are blaming themselves for the traumatic event: 

  • “I should have seen that coming.”
  • “I shouldn’t have been out at that hour.”
  • “Why wasn’t I more careful?”
  • “If only I’d left a few minutes earlier.”
  • “If we talked more, I could have stopped it.”’

Marriage counseling in Mystic, Connecticut, can help you deal with a loved one who you find is blaming themselves for some traumatic event that took place in their life.

Viewing Yourself as Weak 

Those who often beat themselves for feeling as though they could have done something different to prevent the traumatic event from happening often view themselves as weak. On some level, they assume if they were stronger, they could have done all the things their brain tells them they should have done differently.

One may also feel as if they are weak because they rationalize how a person would not have targeted them if they were stronger or at least looked as if they were strong enough to defend themselves.

This happens a lot with sexual assault victims, but the reality is that most attackers use weapons or give off the image as if they have a weapon.

Traumatic-related beliefs do not revolve around the facts of the situation. They thrive and manifest themselves off of fear, anxiety, and pain caused by the traumatic event. People are often more critical of themselves when they indeed did all they could at that moment.

Constantly Criticizing Yourself 

As mentioned before, trauma can come in many forms, and infidelity is one of those forms. Constantly criticizing oneself is the most common reaction in cases of adultery.

Some common phrases you hear after infidelity may sound like:

  • “If I was a better spouse, then this would not have happened.”
  • “Why was I not pretty enough?”
  • “I should have lost more weight.”

If you are trying to revive your marriage, holistic marriage counseling could help deal with your spouse criticizing themselves. 

Imani Francies writes and researches for the auto insurance comparison site, AutoInsurance.org. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in Film and Media and specializes in various forms of media marketing.

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