There are all different types of polyamory and ethical non monogamy (ENM). Many couples come to Wisdom Within Counseling because they would like professional help opening their marriage or relationship. Maybe, you had an open relationship in the past, and would like to have another open relationship in the near future. What does a lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapist do? We help people create healthy, loving relationships. Some people choose to have a monogamous relationship. And, other people choose to take part in consentual and ethical non-monogamy and have multiple partners. Your lesbian gay queer polyamorous ENM therapist can help you create a healthy, positive open marriage.
There’s nothing better or worse about either type of relationship. However, healthy communication skills are important for any relationships to be healthy, no matter how many people are in it.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Healthy communication is a benefit of lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous ENM therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling
If you are in a monogamous, relationship and yelling, angry, or criticizing, your partner, it will not be successful. As well, polyamorous couples may struggle to communicate anger in a calm way. If you are your partners are getting angry or fights get out of hand lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous ENM therapy can help.
Boundaries may have been violated or broken, triggering a conflict. There may have been a major misunderstanding of what was permitted and what was not okay.
You and your partners can gain positive communication tools through counseling.
Learning how to manage anger and share the deep hurt underneath is key. You can learn how to build and maintain healthy relationships. All relationships need honesty, consent, acceptance, respect, and kindness. When you want to open your relationship, your partner might experience feelings of negativity that come out in anger.
How can lesbian gay queer polyamorous ENM counseling help?
As well as helping with anger and communication, you can talk about anxiety related to coming out. In lesbian gay queer polyamorous ENM counseling, you can talk about the coming out process. You may want to share that you are in an open marriage with certain friends and family members. Working with an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help you identify who you feel would be most accepting. Some poly couples work to create a chosen family, a family of close knit friends. The people you come out to can offer encouragement and support.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Explore your sexual orientation, gender expression and LGBTQIA+ identity
In addition, lesbian gay queer polyamorous ENM therapy can help you explore your sexual orientation, gender expression, and yourself. You may want to open your marriage as well as talk about a topic like cross dressing. Some people are gender fluid, others are transgender, and some are cisgender. You may want to start expressing your gender in a non-binary or non-confirming way. Upon opening your marriage, you may want to explore dressing in drag or wearing your hair differently. Working with an ethically non monogamous therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling gives you a safe place to explore your LGBTQIA+ identity.
Lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy can be a safe place to share anxiety
Partners can communicate when they experience anxiety in LGBQIA+ affirming counseling. Your partner might feel jealous that you are spending time with someone else. As well, your partner may insecure or fear that you no longer find them attractive. Your partners may have other anxieties that polyamory therapy can help them communicate. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, and polyamory.
Counseling can help you determine what type of open relationship is best for you
Polyamorous triad
There are different types of polyamorous relationships from triads, to quads, to solo, polyamory, and more. Some people choose to be in a poly triad, consisting of three people. Three people may choose to live together in a house, or choose to date and live separately. All three people are emotionally and often sexually connected. As well, all three people in the relationship may sit down and have lunch together. In a poly triad, one couple may bring in a third person. Or, all three people come together in another way.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Quads
In a poly quad, of four people, often with emotional, physical and sexual exchanges. A polyamorous quad may consist of two couples coming together. Swingers may develop long-term polyamorous relationships may decide to move into a polyamorous quad. Ethical non-monogamy can look different for every couple. Polyamorous quads may also include a couple and two individuals. A polyamorous quad can mean that everyone is emotionally and sexually involved, but may not live together.
Solo polyamory
In solo polyamory, a person never wants to cohabitate, and does not want to share finances.
There are also hierarchical elements to polyamory, ENM, and open relationships.
A person will usually have a primary partner and secondary partners. A person’s primary partner will come first. For instance, they will ask this person about how they feel when you go on dates with other people. You take your primary partner’s emotions into account first. If something goes wrong, or your primary partner is needing support, they come first. A secondary partner will considered after the primary partner.
Talking about what hierarchy structure is important to you will be a big part of polyamory affirming counseling.
All couples can explore polyamory. Same, sex, lesbian, heterosexual, queer, and gay couples may take part in polyamory. Polyamory can bring excitement, novelty, and offer emotional and sexual freedom. Same-sex couples, heterosexual couples, gay couples, and queer couples who are already together are primary partners. If you are already in a relationship, and you open your marriage, the person you are with right now will often be your primary partner. Opening a relationship means that someone you bring in will be a secondary partner and of secondary importance.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Primary partners in an open marriage come first.
If your primary partner gets sick, your secondary partners expects that you will be spending time supporting your primary partner. Your secondary partner will move to the back burner.
Kitchen table polyamory
Some couples may take part in kitchen table polyamory, where they all have dinner together. Everyone brings their partner and their partner’s partner. Then, everyone comes together for a meal in a friendly, non competitive way. Kitchen table polyamory can be a great way to build social connections. As well, kitchen table polyamory can be a way to become friends with other like-minded people. However, even when practicing kitchen table polyamory and opening your marriage, certain partners may have big emotions.
Ethical non monogamous therapy supports emotional communication
Talking about emotions is a big part of lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling. Your partner can express fears of insecurity, fears of abandonment, or other anxieties that arise. Working with an ethical non-monogamy specialist, at Wisdom Within Counseling, can help partners talk about the different anxieties they have. Understanding where anxiety comes from, such as trauma in childhood, can give partners compassion.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling supports talking about childhood trauma
One person you are in a relationship with may have had parents that abandoned them in childhood. As a result of having emotionally neglectful parents, they need more reassurance. Having abandoning parents, you partner may have an anxious attachment style. They have more anxiety and need more reassurance than your other partners. Talking about attachment and anxiety, especially when it comes ethical non-monogamy can be a benefit in ENM counseling. To add, you can better understand your partners by understanding their childhood trauma experiences.
How does learn about childhood trauma benefit couples?
From childhood trauma, we either develop a secure, anxious, or avoidant attachment style. Learning about your partners can help you know how to support them better. When you are in a relationship that is open and with multiple people, it can benefit you to understand your attachment style as well. You may identify as having secure attachments in childhood. However, if you have a partner who has an anxious attachment style, they may need more reassurance from you.
What does it mean to have a partner with an anxious attachment style when it comes to lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM counseling?
When you have a partner who has an anxious attachment style, you might find yourself getting anxious when talking to them. Working with a polyamory affirming therapist can help you use positive coping tools to stay regulated and calm. You can also talk with your partner about how their anxiety is triggering you. Counseling can empower you to speak with your partner about how they may benefit from working with a therapist. You can talk about what a healthy, secure attachment feels like for you in counseling.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Communicating what you need and what you want can be a benefit of working with a polyamory affirming therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling.
Each partner provides love in a different way when it comes to polyamory. One of your partners might use humor and jokes to help you feel loved. Another one of your partners may provide protective energy. And, another one of your romantic partners may be flirty and make you feel desired. A different partner may offer you care and nurturing energy. Talking with your polyamory and ethical non-monogamy affirming therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you understand what type of love you need.
In polyamorous relationships and open marriages, talking about love languages can be helpful.
One reason why people choose to open their relationship is because they are looking for a variety of different types of love. It is not that your current partner cannot love you the way you want, but is that you are looking for more diverse feelings and forms of love. Helping your current partner understand that you are looking to experience love in different ways can be helpful.
Talking through anxiety and fears in lesbian gay queer polyamorous ethically non monogamous counseling
Some partners feel threatened and anxious by the idea of an ethically non monogamous relationship. In ethical, non-monogamy therapy, you can talk with your primary partner about the type of love you need. As well, you can speak about the type of love you are looking for in a secondary partner. You can help your primary partner feel reassured while you are looking for diversity in an open marriage. You might be looking to gain sexual experience as a result of opening your marriage.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Exploring polyamory and your sexuality can be great topics of conversation and counseling.
Maybe, you want to open your relationship because you have never been with a female, or never been with a male. Having a more fluid sexual orientation is a great reasons to explore ethical non monogamy. Perhaps, you are bisexual and want to be with a male and female at the same time. Sexual exploration can be a great benefit of polyamory. As well, you may want to explore sexual activity such as a threesome. Overall, open marriages can offer sexual experiences that are new. You may also explore polyamory for another type of emotional diversity.
Many emotions can rise up within you when you’re in a polyamorous relationship.
You might feel attached to your partner, and seeing them flirt with someone else anger or insecurity. Couples counseling can help you develop self-love and self acceptance skills. When you fear losing your partner to someone else, you might get jealous. You might have a memory of feeling very lonely as a child pop into your mind. Being rejected and watching your partner flirt with someone else can re-trigger past experiences of rejection. As a result, you might rush to breaking up. Instead of feeling like breaking up is your only option, you can talk about how to express your fear and jealousy. You may need to implement certain boundaries to help you feel more secure with your primary partner.
Couples therapy can prompt discussions about jealousy as well as foster skills for trust and security.
You might need to have a certain nights of the week allocated for time with your primary partner. For instance, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are days that you two spend together. On Tuesday and Thursday, these are the nights where you can date someone else or go out to meet someone new. Some couples have a rule that they don’t go to the same restaurants with a secondary partner as they do with their primary partner. Some primary partners do not mind if a secondary partner is brought to the same place as them. There may be certain rules or boundaries around who meets secondary partners or if secondary partners meet each other.
Couples therapy can be a safe place to have these discussions and help you each feel loved and supported.
It’s important that couples have consensual boundaries and agreements before embarking in an open relationship. Talking about what would be a problem for you is important in couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling. When you feel jealous or anxious, your couples therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you understand the roots of these feelings and normalize them. You can talk about what you need to feel loved. From therapy, you can create more emotional security in your primary relationship as well as in the relationships you have with your partners. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we would love to help you create a healthy relationship.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with an LGBTQIA+ affirming couples therapist.
Why work with a lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapist and couples counseling specialist?
Working with a relationship therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling who understands poly relationship is key. The team of lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapists are educated in open relationships. The right fit therapist can help you feel supported opening your marriage. When you have anxiety, jealousy, or sadness, you can bring those emotions to your LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist. To add, you talk about what opening your marriage means to you in counseling.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in polyamory, open relationships, couples, and ethical non-monogamy.
If you are looking to explore alternative forms of relationships, such as polyamory or open relationships, you don’t want to work with a generalist. Working with a therapist who does not specialize in polyamory or ethical non-monogamy can leave you feeling judged. A general therapist may not have the understanding of how positive polyamory and open relationships can be.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
The lesbian gay queer polyamorous ENM therapists can help you create a successful, loving, and positive polyamory and open relationship.
And, if you go to a therapist who is not LGBTQ affirming, they may try to tell you that the reason you are feeling anxiety is because you are in an open relationship.
Monogamy doesn’t cure anxiety. People who are in monogamous relationships frequently experience anxiety. It is not the type of relationship that causes anxiety. Also, anxiety can be triggered in many different ways. Working with a polyamory and open relationship affirming therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you feel supported in your goals. On that note, you should never feel blamed, or like having an open relationship is the problem. At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can feel supported by the team of lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapists.
Develop healthy boundaries and communicate honestly and clearly in lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy
When you are interested in opening your relationship, the team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you better understand the boundaries and goals you want. Things that break trust include lying, secret keeping, and betrayal behaviors. Couples can talk together about boundaries for polyamory after trust has been violated. Exploring polyamory can be positive, eye-opening, support erotic desire, and help give you diverse sexual experiences. However, in any relationship, whether monogamous or polyamorous, you may run into communication and trust issues. Lying and secret keeping are problematic behaviors. One person in a relationship may not be honest and keep secrets, leading to anxiety. So, lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling supports honest communication. You can heal past betrayals and gain honest communication skills. Overall, poly couples can learn how to build secure, trusting relationships in counseling.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy
You may find that you need professional help navigating the boundaries of what feels positive when it comes to an open relationship. Also, you might want book recommendations when it comes to ethical non-monogamy and having a relationship with more than one person. You may also want to talk about your open relationship in the confidential space of your therapist office. Talking with friends and family can lead you to feel ashamed, or judged. Wanting to have a consentual relationship with more than one person is okay. Your friends and family may not be educated in polyamory. They may not understand why you want to open, or how open relationships can be helpful.
Can Wisdom Within Counseling help when my partner is new to polyamory and nervous about opening our marriage?
Wisdom Within Counseling also helps couples where one person is familiar with polyamory, and the other person has never been poly. If you partner has never been in an ethically non monogamous relationship before, they may be nervous. Their fears of abandonment may arise. As well, anxiety may run high if you are out dating someone else. Your spouse or partner may be new to an open marriage, and something besides monogamy. Better understanding your partner’s anxieties and insecurities can be a part of LGBTQIA+ counseling. If you have experience being open and in a polyamorous relationship, you may be better at coping with anxiety and jealousy.
This might be the first time that your partner has stepped outside of the limiting view of monogamy.
In these conversations, you can focus on taking it slow and setting healthy boundaries for you both to feel safe. Your LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help you use “I feel” statements to share your emotions. As well, couples, who are looking to open their relationship can talk about how to create a secure attachment together while dating other people.
Working with a therapist who specializes in ethical non-monogamy and open relationships can help you feel affirmed and supported as you navigate these new waters.
When anxiety does arise, your LGBTQIA+ therapist can provide you with positive coping tools. Holistic coping outlets can help you release intense emotions in healthy ways. A negative ways to releasing emotions might be by using alcohol or drugs to cope. Turning to drugs or alcohol doesn’t allow you to fully process what you are feeling, or grow as a person. As well, it has a negative impact when you take pain and frustration out on another one of your other partners. Yelling, name calling, screaming, and door slamming are forms of unhealthy communication. If you find yourself expressing emotions in these intense, unhealthy ways, therapy can help you gain positive coping tools.
Positive coping tools can help you deal with breaks ups within relationships that can be painful emotionally
People who are poly may be going thorough more losses due to break ups. Breaks ups can be devastating and emotionally painful. On top of that, if a break up with a poly partner is from being cheated on or dishonestly, it can be very heart breaking. You may need to grieve the hopes and dreams you had with this partner in counseling.
Painting, journaling, poetry, art, or yoga can all help you cope with jealousy, loss, and anxiety in a healthy way. Plus, positive coping tools from therapy can help you stay calm during tense moments.
To begin, book your phone consult below for lesbian, gay, queer, polyamorous and ethically non monogamous therapy.
Process inner conflict in counseling
You may be dealing with inner conflict and anxiety lesbian, gay, queer polyamorous ENM therapy can help you cope with. A part of you might want to date as well and explore different sexual experiences. Another part of you might feel scared about what it means to be a good partner. You might have internal shame or guilt that arises from being raised a strict Catholic, and be battling with your relationship with religion. Working through all these different types of inner conflict can be very helpful with a polyamorous affirming therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling.
Wisdom Within Counseling helps couples in Tampa, Jacksonville, Melbourne, Orlando, Cocoa Beach, Naples, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, and Miami, Florida. As well, we help LGBTQIA+ queer couples in Farmington, Glastonbury, East Lyme, Windsor, Wilton, Vernon, Hartford, and Stamford, Connecticut.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling would love to help you create a healthy, positive polyamorous and ethical, non-monogamous relationship.
