Is your child throwing tantrums, acting out, or breaking down frequently? How can a child so young already feel like they have so many problems? Does your little one have anxiety, anger, or lying issues? Is your child acting in ways that cause cause conflicts with siblings? We can support you and your family at Wisdom Within Counseling in Old Lyme, Connecticut. Your may be child young and does not yet know how to deal with big emotions. Creative play and child therapy in Old Lyme, CT is available at Wisdom Within Counseling.
What causes children to feel big emotions like anxiety and anger anyway?
In any given moment, a child may have a emotion. However, they do not have the verbal skills to share it, or even identify it. Being bullied or made fun of at school can lead to hurt and anger. Or, not understanding why a rule is in place can cause frustration. Sadness and loss can come after losing a family pet. Even moving to a new home can cause a child to feel scared, uncertain, anxious, and upset. Big changes in life like parents divorcing play a major role in family therapy sessions. As well, these big feelings may come from a variety of family conflicts or family issues. Parental separation, divorce, school issues, peer conflicts, sibling fights, and more all contribute. If one parent or a sibling passes away, this death in the family really impacts your toddler or preschooler. Additionally, if one sibling has special needs or autism, this can create a challenge of other children in your home.
Children may feel intense emotions, but don’t have the tools to know how to release them without the help of a child therapist.
Frequently, a new diagnosis like ADD, ADHD, or even diabetes plays a role in feeling insecure, anxiety, angry, or hurt. Anger is most easily expressed. Your child may be bi-gender, transgender, or gender questioning and dealing with not fitting in. We specialize in child LGBTQIA+ affirming care and transgender affirming care. Emotional meltdowns may feel overwhelming to manage for you, no matter the cause. As well, your child needs help emotionally to problem solve and coping tools. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help children identify and express anxiety, anger, jealousy, surprise, feeling unwanted and more.
In this article, we offer you some tips and techniques for positive parenting between counseling sessions.
That is where the following positive parenting tools can come in. As well, play therapy and child therapy session can offer positive support too. Child therapy in Old Lyme, CT can help children with anxiety and anger use positive coping skills to handle their emotions in calm ways. Children can learn to communicate more effectively from child therapy sessions. In the meantime, try some of these strategies to help your child.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling is always available to help when it comes to parenting support and child therapy.
What is one way I can understand my child when they are having emotional meltdowns more?
Parents and recognize connection seeking behaviors in their children
How often do you hear an adult say something along the lines of, “they are just acting out to get attention?” Or, “just ignore them, they are attention seeking,” about children who act out? Perhaps they are “attention seeking” to some degree. However, as a group of child therapists and specialists, we like to change language up. Let’s change our perspective on that a little bit.
Instead of using the phrase “attention seeking,” try replacing it with “connection seeking.” At Wisdom Within Counseling, we focus on positive, gentle parenting techniques that support a lifelong healthy bond.
A child having a meltdown is trying to connect with you, and they do not know how to go about it in the right way.
Often, this simple change can bring a more positive attitude towards a child. As adults, it is our job to teach them what the positive way is to release anger, anxiety, loss, and fear. And, rather than punish them for not knowing, try understanding the emotional meltdown. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help children using painting, art, yoga, music, nature, and drama therapies.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, adolescent and child therapy in Old Lyme, CT supports releasing big feelings in holistic, healthy ways.
Ignoring them will likely exacerbate the yelling, kicking, or negative behavior. In addition, ignoring your child when they are in distress teaches them to give up trying. Many times, this results in a child not sharing emotions and in adulthood withdrawing. Children who learn they will be ignored may stop trying to connect with a parent altogether. At Wisdom Within Counseling, the team of child therapists support parents in setting boundaries, but also nurturing and co-regulating. Teaching your child to share emotions in a play therapy setting sets them up for lifelong success.
So, what do you do about emotional meltdowns to promote emotional regulation?
Set aside time specifically to focus on them doing things that make them feel loved. For instance, if they like cuddling, spend time cuddling every single day. Praise and reward them for appropriate behavior. Remind them how it feels to be hurt with mean words or kicked by sharing your feelings. Talk to them about what is going on, how they are feeling, and what they need. This might mean taking a break and returning to the conversation. Communicate to your child who is upset and angry in a gentle way. To add, talk about how you would like them to communicate with you when they need something. Practice on stuffed animals or puppets. We offer art therapy, music therapy, yoga therapy, and walk and talk therapy by the beach. At Wisdom Within Counseling, teen and child therapy in Old Lyme, CT supports emotional expression.
To begin, click the button below to schedule you phone consult for creative counseling for a more confident child.
Model the behavior you want them to exhibit
Your child is always watching you and learning from your example. Use this to your advantage. Let them see you deal with your emotions in a healthy way and communicate kindly and effectively with others using “I feel…” statements. Be patient with your children when they are having a tough time. Remember they are not being difficult – they are having a difficult time.
Validate their feelings, let them know you are here for them, and talk to them about other options they can try to communicate their wants and needs to you. If they are having trouble naming the emotions they are feeling, name a few and ask them if that sounds right.
“I imagine you are feeling pretty frustrated right now that you cannot go outside and play until you finish this homework sheet. Maybe you’re feeling a little angry or sad too. Do any of those sound right?”
“Okay, well it is okay to feel those feelings, but it is not okay to scream at Mommy. Let’s take a quick break to calm down and then we can talk about how next time you can tell me how you’re feeling before you feel the need to shout at Mommy.”
Children with big emotions like anger, jealousy, fear of missing out, and grief may show you through tantrums and emotional outbursts.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, creative play therapies help children verbalize emotions in healthy ways. Holistic alternatives to talking help anxious children and depressed teenagers build strategies to communicate better. From communicating better, children have less emotional meltdowns and outbursts. At Wisdom Within Counseling, of team of family counselors offer creative teen and child therapy in Old Lyme, CT.We also work with parents to support implementing positive parenting tools at home and supports at school.
To begin, click the button below to schedule you phone consult for creative counseling for a more confident child.
What is co-regulation?
When your child is feeling big emotions, they are usually unable to talk about them right away. Often, children feel upset and won’t talk or start yelling. First, they have to become regulated again so they can talk to you calmly, hear you, and learn from the experience. Try “time-ins” versus “time outs” where you both find a safe quiet space together.
What can you do once you find a safe pace together to co-regulate?
For one, you can cuddle and hold your child. Take deep breaths to show them how to practice deep breathing. Comfort with lots of hugging and cuddling, or reciting positive affirmations. Speak in a soft tone, and do not ask too many questions at this time.
Why no time outs?
Well, time outs teach children to isolate rather than seek out support when they are dealing with tough emotions. Unfortunately, that isolation practice can follow them into adulthood. Perhaps, you were sent to your room when you misbehaved as a child because you were sad or mad. Now, as an adult you may still self-isolate when you are having a hard time, even if you do not like being alone.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, in child therapy in Old Lyme, CT, you can learn skills to soothe and co-regulate with your upset child.
During hard times it is important to lean on our support system and loved ones who want to be there for us. Teach your children to seek comfort from you that now while they are young. Then, they will have the ability to do that and come to you for support when they grow up. You’ll also be teaching your child that adults are supportive people in times of need. Time-ins are a valuable tool for lifelong coping. As well, time-ins teach anxious children to seek out emotional support and practice positive coping skills into young adult and adult years. In turn, these positive coping mechanisms will strengthen your relationship and lead to more positive behavior in the future.
Try one of these when you are offering a time-in.
Mindful breathing
Take one deep breath in for a count of four
Hold that breath for a count of four
Slowly breathe out for a count of four
Hold the breath out for a count of four
Repeat four times
Trace a square in the air if it helps tracing a line up as you breathe in, right across as you hold in, down as you breathe out, and left across as you hold out.
Jumping jacks / Getting the wiggles out / One minute dance party
Repeat after me affirmations
I am hard working and I am kind. Also, I am smart and I am loved.
Counting down the senses
Name 5 things you can see right now. Next, name 4 things you can touch/feel right now. Name 3 things you hear right now. Then, name 2 things you can smell right now. Finally, name 1 thing you can taste right now.
Remember to praise your child’s efforts to employ these strategies in the future.
Once your child is calm and up for talking, you can start to talk about changing the undesirable behavior:
“Do you feel a little better now? What do you think could have gone differently to let me know how you were feeling? It is hard for Mommy to hear what you really need when you are shouting at me. Maybe, next time you could come up to Mommy and say something like, “Mommy, I’m feeling really frustrated right now and need some help feeling better.”
Or if you don’t know how you’re feeling, but you know you don’t feel good you can say, “Mommy, I need a break right now. My feelings don’t feel good,” and we can take a little break and talk about what’s going on.”
For support in family and child therapy in Old Lyme, Connecticut the team at Wisdom Within Counseling in here to help.
To begin, click the button below to schedule you phone consult for creative counseling for a more confident child.
Recognize areas in your own life that need improvement
The scenario of soothing and co-regulation for a child above might seem difficult even for an adult to do for themselves. Sometimes, our intense emotions like anger and anxiety get the better of us. As parents, we end up shouting, self-isolating, shutting down or using some other maladaptive, negative coping technique. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling can support parents in regulating themselves, to support co-regulation.
No one explicitly teaches us in school how to regulate and talk about our emotions in healthy ways.
A lot of us just copy what we learned from our parents, who likely did their best. But, looking back, your parents may not have known the best way to go about addressing emotions. Maybe, you have a memory of being a child yourself and feeling isolated, hurt, or pushed away by your parent emotionally. So, working with a child therapist in Old Lyme, Connecticut can support new, positive and gentle parenting skills. Our team of child and family therapists can support you in breaking that cycle and educating yourself on how you can do better for yourself and your children. Your children will learn healthy habits by watching you employ them. Then, you can better guide your children on how to do the same for themselves into their adult years. It does not work to tell children to act and behave as we say, and not as we do.
What is co-regulation like at Wisdom Within Counseling and in child therapy in Old Lyme, CT?
As parents and caregivers, it can be challenging to model positive skills when under stress. It can be hard to manage all the responsibilities with out coping tools of your own. How can we expect children to do the hard work if we are not able to release stress it for ourselves? Wisdom Within Counseling offers a nurturing, caring approach to supporting parents and children in building meaningful bonds. Our team of family counselors help parents release stress and nurture their children in stress relief techniques. Using art therapies, yoga therapies, music, therapies, and walking therapies in nature, we help children regulate right in session. Emotional regulation and effective communication is not always easy, so we are here to help. Child therapy and family therapy in Old Lyme, CT supports parents in walking the walking to pave the path for loving, healthy, growing, emotionally regulated children.
Schedule a therapy appointment today for parent child therapy and to create a positive bond together.
These self-regulation and positive strategies are certainly easier said than done. If you and your child are having difficulty with emotion regulation, panic attacks, emotional outbursts, or anger episodes, you’re not alone. Wisdom Within Counseling is a group of family and child therapy professionals ready, willing, and able to help you figure it out. We offer a creative, holistic approach to family connection. Using art therapies, drama therapies, yoga therapies, music therapies, and nature therapies, families can rebuild trust and safety.
Wisdom Within Counseling in Old Lyme, Connecticut helps personalize family and child therapy for your needs. Sometimes, art works well as a communication too. Other times, outdoor play therapy is what your active child needs. Not every strategy works the same for everyone and many of them can be adjusted for your specific situation and needs. To learn how to help your child in an upset moment feel calmer, our team of creative, holistic child therapists can help. If you have any questions about applying these practices, want to learn more about other gentle emotion focused parenting techniques, we can help. Even if you just need some help and guidance with sibling conflicts, homework boundaries, or big emotions, book a free consultation with Wisdom Within Counseling below.
Where do we offer child therapy, family therapy, and couples therapy?
Wisdom Within Counseling offers video counseling and in person counseling in Southeastern Connecticut. Family therapy over video is available to families living in New Canaan, Darien, Weston, Greenwich, Stamford, Bloomberg, Norwalk, Westport, Fairfield, Bridgeport, Stratford, Shelton, Milford, Orange, West Haven, New Haven, Hamden, North Haven, East Haven, Branford, Guilford, Madison, Clinton, Westbrook, Deep River, Chester, Essex, Old Saybrook, Lyme, Old Lyme, East Lyme, Waterford, New London, Montville, Norwich, Preston, Ledyard, Groton, and Stonington, Connecticut. Our team also offers video therapy to residents of Florida.
