Are you stuck in a distant cycle where you feel confused and lonely? Holistic marriage counseling can help!
Have you and your spouse begun sleeping apart in separate beds?
Do you feel like there are certain topics that you can’t talk about around your spouse?
Stuck in a cycle of anger, hurt, and walking on eggshells?
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you sort through intense, challenging emotions like anger, hurt, loss, and jealously.
Trauma bonding in couple’s therapy
First, you might have never heard of trauma bonding, But, you’ve surely met someone who is in a toxic friendship or relationship with someone. Or, maybe you have personally been the victim. Let’s begin with each word separately. First, let’s look at the word trauma. To begin, trauma is something inevitable that we all have experienced in our lives. Really intense moments can also be traumatic. And, some forms of trauma can include emotional, physical or sexual abuse. And, can even something like being afraid of clowns or spiders due to learned or conditioned associations. At Wisdom Within Counseling, nurturing, loving relationships are possible. In addition, Wisdom Within Counseling in gender, sexuality, and LGBTQIA+ affirming.
What is a trauma response?
All forms of trauma, the body’s alert system goes off that danger is ahead. Next, the body either puts us into the hyper-aroused state. And, being angry and mad can come out as a fight. Instantly, you feel angry, hot, have a racing heart beat, and can’t think straight. For instance, think of that person who always yells when they are upset. Trauma bonding cycles in holistic couples therapy can turn into positive communication cycles. And, with the help of yoga therapy, couples can release intense, challenging feelings.
Additionally, the hyper-aroused state of flight comes out after a traumatic life experience. Therapy helps you live a confident, emotionally expressive, positive life.
Here, think of that person who continually runs from confrontation, Lastly, in response to trauma, the hypo-aroused state of freeze occurs. For instance, think of that person who looks like a deer in headlights and literally cannot move their body. For some couples, the freeze is also the shutdown, where one person won’t talk. At Wisdom Within Counseling, trauma sensitive yoga therapy for trauma teaches that you have the power of choice to make decisions to build beautiful, intimate, calm, healthy relationships.
Lastly, if you experience fight, flight, or freeze, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling would love to help you thrive.
What does the word bonding mean?
Now, let’s look at the word bonding. Innately, we all can understand that we form certain bonds, or relationships, with family, friends and partners throughout our lives. The most primitive bond of any species is the maternal bond. To add, trauma bonding behaviors as adults may come from parental trauma. So, the primary bond between your mother and you can play into romantic relationships. Trauma bonding in couples therapy and yoga therapy is a pattern that without help, can get worse. Often, Trauma bonding in couples therapy is a cycle from childhood. At one time, arguing may have provided attention of some kind. Maybe, your spouse won’t have sex, but they will argue back. In couples therapy, you can learn positive communication skills through yoga therapy.
Feelings of abandonment can arise when feeling insecure, and fights create more distance and desire for playfulness and closeness.
In therapy, you can learn emotional skills to create secure bonds in your future relationships and with friends. Within our bonds lies the framework of love. However, not all bonds are healthy in nature. Sometimes, bonds can be negative and hurt. So, when taken together then, trauma bonding is a connection and/or relationship that is centered around the idea of love. Love may have felt hurtful to some children, so they need help giving love as adults. But, trauma bonding creates lasting and enduring trauma for one or both people in the relationship. Trauma bonding in adulthood can perpetuate childhood trauma symptoms as well.
Click the pink button below to begin in holistic couples therapy for trauma bonding cycles using trauma sensitive yoga therapy to build communication and connection.
So, what does a trauma bond in couples therapy look like exactly?
To begin, a trauma bonded relationship usually has the following dynamic, one person is the abuser, while the other is the victim. Other terms for these relationships, which many of us maybe more familiar can include, narcissistic abuse or toxic relationships. So, therefore, the abuser would be the “narcissist” or the “toxic” person in the relationship. And, the abused would be the victim in the relationship. Anyone, at any time can fall victim to trauma bonding.
So, what are some telltale signs that you or someone you know is in a trauma bond relationship?
For starters, if you find that there are conditions to your partner/friend/parent’s love, meaning, you receive love if, and only if, you live up to this person’s expectations of how you should look, or act, or even based on your achievements. Second, having an extreme fear that your partner/friend/parent will physically harm you, or that they have in the past, when you have tried to leave. Feeling isolated? Next, you find that your partner/friend/parent has isolated you from your loved ones. Following, many other signs could entail manipulation, such as gaslighting, and puts downs meant to make the victim feel like they deserve the abuse.
What is negative about this abusive relationship pattern?
Often, trauma bonding is a cycle in relationships where the abuser just as quickly apologizes to the victim. Never again, they say. Often, the abuser promises to never again act as they did. The abuser repents and claims they would not know what they would do without the victim. Maybe, you experienced someone even threatening suicide. But, soon thereafter, the abuser goes back to what they know. And thus, this cycle of abuse, repent, abuse, repent, continues over and over and over again. It feels like a bonus to get a calm or good day. And, it feels like you walk on eggshells around your spouse right now.
The holistic marriage and family therapists help couples build intimacy, talk about difficult, intense conversations calmly, and love each other better.
Abuse can double and triple over time, so help sooner than later is always best. Don’t miss out on getting a therapist who also knows and understand trauma patterns. Fear is the weapon of the narcissist, so feeling afraid after a trauma experience is normal. Overall, holistic couples therapy with yoga can help you create positive communication patterns for a calm, loving family life. Trauma bonding cycles can reduce by going to holistic couples therapy and by doing yoga therapy. At Wisdom Within Counseling, our therapists specialize in holistic trauma counseling.
Learn to build meaningful connection, emotional compassion for yourself and your spouse, and a passionate bond.
So, if you find that you are in this kind of relationship with someone, what is the best way to proceed?
The first step is assessing your own safety. First, connect with a domestic violence shelter. Next, call your doctor, or someone in the community who can get you to safety. Following, find and connect with a therapist. Now, specifically find a trauma or PTSD specialist for your therapy. Also, working with a trauma sensitive yoga therapist is a unique offering at Wisdom Within Counseling. At Wisdom Within Counseling, holistic couples therapy is a trauma healing process. Also, couples learn skills for better communication, inner peace, and self-love. Further, trauma and trauma informed modalities support the process of trauma healing.
The first step in any mental health therapy is creating a strong therapeutic alliance.
From there, you can talk about worries, fears, and your PTSD triggers. You can learn skills to accept and love yourself through intense, challenging feelings. Plus, couples therapy supports self-compassion and mind-body connection. Yoga can help alleviate anxiety that goes along with trauma and PTSD. Couples therapy can help you have someone who is outside of your family. Plus, your couple’s therapist helps you both learn to smile at each other again. Yoga therapy is a safe place to breathe, slow down, and gain clarity about your marriage.
Healing from trauma and PTSD is a beautiful journey of self-love, nurturing yourself, and attracting healthy friends.
You can learn to build healthy relationships with yourself and others. For children, yoga therapy can also be great for alleviating ADHD, reducing trauma, and improving self-esteem. Lastly, yoga therapy helps adults who have PTSD feel safe to begin to open up and work through their lived trauma. For couples who feel stuck in a trauma bond, contact Wisdom Within Counseling today. You may have tried years of talk therapy, but you may have never experienced all that trauma sensitive yoga therapy can offer you.
Click the pink button below to begin in holistic indivudal or couples therapy for trauma bonding cycles using trauma sensitive yoga therapy to build communication and connection.
How does yoga therapy help couples who have experienced trauma bonding?
Yes, talk therapy is highly effective in lowering the incidence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). However, movemnet and yoga can offer a language of energy beyond talking. Yoga therapy, a holistic trauma therapy, reduces hyper vigilant symptoms from chronic abuse. In a culture that wants alternatives to medication, yoga therapy and mindfulness are available in couples therapy. As well, you may choose from art, music, and walking therapies.
Now, mindfulness and yoga reduce symptoms of PTSD.
The focus in yoga on breathing provides self-centering. For couples, self-centering is vital for a healthy marriage and communication. Also, yoga therapy allows you to work with feelings in the moment. Trauma sensitive yoga therapy supports gentle movement of emotions throughout the body. In yoga therapy, you always have a choice. So, choosing one’s own yoga therapy experience is effective in balancing your body’s response to triggers. Next time you feel anxiety or anger, you can use the tools from yoga to release. Overall, it allows you to see that you have the power inside you to create the life you dream of. Yoga therapy for trauma teaches that you have the power of choice to make decisions to build meaningful, healthy relationships.
About the Author, Keyra Scovill, trauma sensitive yoga therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling
The author of this article is Keyra Scovill, one of the marriage and family therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling. She brings a gentle, soft way about her. Anytime, Keyra is happy to offer a mindfulness bod scan or meditation to reconnect to your mind, body, and spirit. Keyra specializes in yoga therapy for trauma as well as yougn adult anxiety counseling. Offering both online and in person Niantic, CT therapy, you can pick from both. She enjoys helping distant couples who have a strong long-term friendship and need help igniting playfulness. Keyra uses a specialized, unique approach creatively combining traditional anxiety counseling and incorporating yoga and movement as well.
