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How to Help a Child Going Through Loss and Grief

If you’ve had a loss in your family recently, and your child is behaving in concerning ways, Wisdom Within Counseling can help.

For a child, their way of expressing themselves depends on their personality type and their developmental age. For preschoolers, verbal skills are not there. So, play therapies, art, yoga, and musical instruments become a language beyond words. Generally, children grieve differently than adults do. Often, children won’t talk about it naturally. As well, children may not fully comprehend the word, “death.” And, without therapy, a child may never understand what death means. Overall, child therapy for loss and grief helps young ones understand that dying means that person won’t be coming back. Most commonly, children blame themselves and carry guilt they don’t verbalize. Frequently, children feel they caused the death in some way.

All of us cope with death and grief differently, but it can be hard to tell how your kids are feeling, even if you have multiple children.

During this time, it is extremely difficult to comprehend how children feel, how we support them, and how we grieve. During this time, you may also feel as deeply as you grieve and try to cope with your own emotions. 

Now, the truth of the matter is that you cannot protect children from their loss and the pain that is associated with it. But, you can play a significant part in helping them respond and cope in the healthiest way possible. Overall, creative, holistic child therapy for loss and grief allows children to dins coping tools. As well, children don’t always want to talk about it. Or, they can’t find the words to explain the level of sadness. Frequently, children develop negative behavior issues when they are feeling sad. You also need to know how life insurance can provide for your family.

The article below provides helpful information that can be of use to parents, caregivers, and educators seeking assistance for their children experiencing grief or loss.

Help the Child Accept the Loss

Many children find it particularly challenging to comprehend that losing a parent may result in them experiencing a wide range of different emotions as a result of the loss of their parent. It is good practice to explain your child’s actions in simple, straightforward terms, no matter his age. Children under 5 need help in understanding their actions.

You should emphasize to children that the goal is not or should not be to “overcome” the loss of a parent but to accept it as best as they can. Eventually, the child will have to grow up, but they will never get over the loss of their parents; for that reason they will remain forever changed.

child going through loss and grief

Accept and Normalize Feelings

For grieving children or teens to feel comfortable with their losses, they need to understand that every emotion they are experiencing as they cope with loss is acceptable. You can also help children by talking about what they can expect with their thoughts, feelings, and actions as well as the stages of grief.

Children and adolescents need to be aware that we are simply trying to let them know that they must learn this journey and make it their own as well as endure a process that will take some time to fully resolve and move through.

Teach the Stages of Grief – Creative child therapy for loss and grief

Let your children know that grieving is a process and a journey. With this in mind, and depending on how old they are, it could be helpful to educate them about the stages of grief and what will happen to them.  

You need to emphasize that we don’t always experience life in linearly sequential steps, no matter what stage we are in. Know it is okay to grieve in the presence of your children. You can seek counseling in Southeastern Connecticut if you are a resident. 

Carefully Choose Who (and How) to Tell the Child 

You should be able to tell your child about this with a straight face, but you should not be so overwhelmed that you do not have control of your emotions so that she panics, giving the child even more reason to run to the opposite side of the room. You can find family therapy and anxiety counseling In East Lyme, Ct, or specialists near you to help break the news. 

Whenever possible, the person delivering this terrible news should come through as the person closest to the child, getting it directly from the child’s perspective, even though the receiver will be grieving as well. If the grieving parent is too emotional to deliver the news in a calm manner, the next closest family member should give the news.

Be thoughtful about where to have the conversation. You hope your kid feels free to react to the death wherever he feels comfortable, and that probably won’t be a public place.

Whenever possible, try to use plain language and to be ready to explain what caused the death, as children will often be curious when it comes to it. You do not necessarily need to go into too much detail, but you can mention a few light details.

With children, you will want to provide as much information as possible on the first occasion, which is why you will want to start by allotting the bare minimum sum of information per person. Keep your explanations short, simple, and direct, but as long as they are done in a calm and compassionate way, it’s okay to do so.

child going through loss and grief

Choose Your Words Carefully

The choice of words you use when talking to children will largely depend on their developmental stage and how old they are. There are a variety of words and phrases that aren’t acceptable when it comes to talking about things like a person who has passed away, “gone,” or “we lost him.”

Young children tend to be very literal, so when they encounter this kind of language and words, they lose confidence. It is also possible that he or she is under the impression that they will be able to return to life.

Follow Your Normal Routines

To add, children need to grieve properly if they have the security of regular routines and the assurance to know that life will go on as expected. When remembering is an important part of grieving and in healing from problems, children are more likely to cope correctly. Creative child therapy for loss and grief can help children process sadness, anger, and loss.

Wisdom Within Counseling offers creative, holistic child therapy for loss and grief as healthy coping strategies.

Additionally, a simple way to share life memories with your child is by talking about loss more often. And, bring up their names telling your child the name of a person who has passed. So, that way, your child will know it’s okay to talk about them and remember them. Using art, yoga, music, and outdoor nature therapies, Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in child therapy for loss and grief.

Losing a Grandparent – Child therapy for loss and grief

If your children are grieving the loss of a grandparent, you can explain that most people do not pass away until they are very old so they will not be worried about you or they will die next. If the deceased is a younger relative such as an aunt or uncle, you may wish to explain the circumstances guiding the deceased’s death to your loved one.

The Death of a Parent 

Children of all ages are more prone to a reaction of trauma and distress as a result of losing a parent, regardless of their age group. If a parent still remains, he or she is likely to be upset, so it’s perfectly acceptable to show sadness. 

Furthermore, tell the news at a time when you feel you can share it without letting your emotions get the better of you. When explaining the death to your children, use age-appropriate language. Often, in child therapy for loss and grief books and stories support children. Sometimes, when someone dies, children feel unsafe. As well, let them know that they will remain safe and secure. Whenever a parent dies, professional counseling may be helpful no matter how old the child is. Lastly, even teenagers can benefit from child therapy for loss and grief of a parent. And, no matter what, show love and support in every way possible.

And, keep in mind that grief can impact a child, even to the point of depression.

Sometimes depression can impact life insurance rates and your child’s physical health if it lasts long enough. If your child becomes depressed, don’t be afraid to get professional help. For example, creative child therapy for loss and grief can help your child and the whole family.

Vhanessa Hair writes and researches for the insurance comparison site, Quote.com.

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