People assume only females get eating disorders
Often, men who may look like they are at a healthy weight. But, men who look “fit” often experience body shame and disordered eating habits. Inner conflict, fears around foods, and body shame run rapid in the mind. Essentially, a man who looks perfect from the outside can feel negative conflict inside. Often, men feel like they have to hold it all in simply from culture. As well, eating disorders, anorexia, diet culture, and rigid food patterns impact men as well as women. But, medical providers, teachers, and parents do not receive the necessary education to diagnose men.
Therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut supports a healthy relationship with food in mind, body, and spirit
Do you only let yourself eat certain foods? Or, do you shame yourself and make yourself exercise because you just ate? Do you count calories or feel like your value or worthiness is based on a number on the scale? As well, is it challenging to order food in a restaurant. Also, do you find yourself in a binge and restrict cycle of yo-yo dieting? Do you reason with yourself about eating food?
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we offer therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut.
In high school, boys are groomed to look muscular and fit, which creates more shame and guilt.
Often, fears and worries about body shape and weight impact men. As well, boy and men do not receive messages that crying is a sign of strength. Instead, boys and men receive messages to look fit and make money. Often, men receive messages that their worth is based on performance. For instance, getting a faster running time, or lifting heavier weight at the gym are seen as value marks for men. But, this sets men up for failure. Essentially, our culture and gender roles tell men their value is number based. So, all of this pressure and stress to be perfect puts a toll on many boys and men. Negative behaviors around food and eating disorders can be results.
Frequently, men often pick rigid food patterns when they feel cultural shame to look a specific way.
Moreover, men don’t have positive body image messages growing up. Manytimes, coaches are harder and for rough with boys and men. As well, there is inadvertent pressure on boys and men to be better and push themselves to the point of injury. On this note, boys who are not as competitive or not into sports are seen as social outcasts. On the other hand, women receive opposite messages to be gentle with themselves. Essentially, it is common that men are forgotten in terms of body positive messages and gentleness. It can be hard to build a healthy relationship with food, while separating from diet culture.
For men, therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut supports education around diet culture.
Body shame and over exercise habits are anxiety and shame based. From counseling, boys and men can learn tools to think positively about their bodies. It can feel very lonely worrying about food and trying to lose weight. Working with a therapist can support positive outlets for stress. As well, communication with friends and family around food can help. To add, therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut supports a nurturing connection with food. Often, with eating disorders, it is common that there is regression. At times, the eating disorder will get worse around stress. Therefore, weekly therapy regularly can help with positive coping tools around eating.
To begin, use the pink button below to learn more about therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut
What is it like to take off the perfectionist mask when it comes to treating eating disorders?
With eating disorders, it is important for the families of men with eating disorders to examine their unconscious biases. Sometimes, without realizing it, parents speak negatively about their own bodies. Over time, a young boy or man can internalize these negative statements. So, if you are a parent, be conscious if you say things like. The following statements are negative for someone with an eating disorder to hear. “You are taking too much on your plate, put some back.” “I ate this donut and now I should go for a run to work it off.” “You need to eat more.” “Your muscles are getting bigger, that is great.” “I can’t believe how fast you just ran.” “Wow, dinner was good. Now, I feel fat.” Essentially, if you don’t have disordered eating, these statements will not bother you. But, for a child or young man with an eating disorder, anorexia, or bulimia, these statements can be taken to heart.
Tips for parents raising a boy with an eating disorder
So, avoid judgment statements that make food good or bad. And, parent should avoid statements that focus on body weight or shape. Instead, take a genuine interest in the experience of the relationship with food. As well, plan to bake, cook, and be involved in making food together. Essentially, treating an eating disorder is part of a long term loving relationship with yourself. Take a stand. So, if you see your child with an eating disorder skipping meals, and slipping into their eating disorder, start eating meals together for company. And, if you notice your child losing weight, make them a doctor’s appointment. Lastly, if you are a dad, be transparent about your health with other sons. Make crying, expressing emotions, and talking about emotions very normal. Encourage your son to see a therapist to express his emotions.
What is toxic masculinity and male body positivity?
Frequently, when men feel less then, they exhibit toxic masculinity. Essentially, men who feel like they have to fit into a specific box, can’t be themselves. Therapy is all about learning to be your authentic self. Often, boys and men who can’t be authentic to teachers, friends and family will show these toxic masculinity traits. At times, boys and men who stuff their feelings away demonstrate negative behaviors. Masculine traits include using or threats violence, self-harm, eating disorders, and can begin hyper controlling others or themselves.
How does toxic masculinity play out?
Also, acting aggressively, showing anger, or suppressing emotions are negative signs. Sometimes, adolescents and teen boys will try to appear “tough” and even go as far as treating sex as a competition. For example, “The Marriage Story” tv show and the movie, “The Joker,” show hiding emotions. Another movie, “The Irishman,” shows toxic masculinity. For instance, in the movie, it shows what it means to live with grief when a man has no coping tools or encouragement for help. In relationships, boys and men with toxic masculinity traits may end up feeling entitled to sex from others. Without counseling at a young age, toxic masculinity can evolve into severe self-harm behaviors. Or, it can also turn into negative relationships with others like using power with a romantic partner. Lastly, transgender men, black transgender men, gay men, poly men, super fat men, anorexia men, and marginalized male populations are born into cultural shame and guilt already. Therefore, therapy is increasable essential for these marginalized male populations.
As well, eating disorders don’t look a certain way.
Often, young men with eating disorders are told they look great. Maybe, a relative compliments your six-pack. But, that relative has no idea the mental anguish and calorie counting stress. As well, men don’t learn to express the challenging times of their lives. Often, men are told that they should not share their feelings or worries. Essentially, they will be seen as weak men if they do. From childhood, men are cultured to keep quiet. Moreover, men are told they should not be weak and not show emotion. In counseling, we help men learn that it is okay to express emotions. Working with children and men alike, therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut lifts the stigma. As well, our therapists often work with highly sensitive boys and men. And, there is a stigma for males to be the stable one and the rock. But, men, like women, may have problems or flaws. And, men need a safe place to discuss worries, fears, and losses. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we off holistic therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. You can learn to build a nurturing relationship with your body image and with food.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, asking for help for mental health makes you a strong man.
How does culture impact body image in men?
For instance, any character in a movie who has anorexia will be a skeleton of a 16 year old girl. However, men of all ages can develop eating disorders and anorexia. Often, boys and men with eating disorders and anorexia are not in movies. As well, television shows do not socialize or normalize disordered eating habits in men. Essentially, eating disorders don’t just impact high schoolers or adolescents. Sometimes, adult men and males going through divorces develop eating disorders out of stress. Or, after a loss like loss of a parent, an eating disorder may develop. As well, from gender roles, a man is brushed over and not thought of as person who needs help. Many times, people don’t realize men go through body shame. But, like all humans, men may feel overweight even if they are living in slim bodies. As well, men who are living in larger bodies may experience shame and guilt.
With that said, all humans experience beating themselves up over the way they look, but men don’t receive as much cultural support.
And, holistic, creative, therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut helps with a healthy relationship. From diet culture and gender roles, males need to learn that it is okay to seek counseling for eating disorders. In society, being a man, often means having to hold in feelings and be perfect. Therapy can be the one safe place to talk, unload, and release stress. Men often feel negative about their body. However, men are not given the same education on body positivity. Lastly, holistic therapy helps men break through cultural shame and guilt. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help boys and men who are highly sensitive and have disordered eating habits love themselves. Self-acceptance is possible through holistic therapy for males with eating disorders in Old Saybrook, Connecticut.
