Are you feeling frustrated with the state of your marriage and relationship, and needing sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling? Do you feel like you and your partner gets stuck in a cycle of defensiveness, criticism, the silent treatment, and anger? Are intense, reactive emotions getting in the way of building a secure, loving, safe emotional bond. Needing professional couples therapy help to communicate in healthy ways about triggering topics? Has physical touch and sex fallen to the back burner? Do you feel like you and your partner no longer have a healthy, pleasurable, and regular sex life, and you want to rebuild sexual desire? Struggling with fear, guilt, and anxiety around your sexuality due to being raised in a strict, conservative, religious culture? Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help.
Let’s talk about what common issues contribute to a lack of sexual intimacy and a breakdown in emotional security.
There are many aspects that go into creating and maintaining an amazing, passionate, and erotic sex life. You may have different sex drives, libidos, and feel frustrated because of this desire discrepancy. A lack of emotional bonding and constant arguments place a role in sex life problems. You and your spouse may have issues sexually because you are stuck in a vicious cycle of negative communication. As well, there may be core emotions under anger that you aren’t talking about such as inadequacy, fears of rejection, fears of disappointment, and fears of abandonment. To add, anger, fighting, defensivness, and criticism damage the emotional safety in your relationship.
Fighting and anger can lead to challenges giving and receiving sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction.
On that note, if you and your spouse are stuck in a cycle of sexual avoidance, sexual frustration, and sexual distance, this can be emotionally painful. Not having sex, and being in a sexual standoff, can make you feel insecure about your relationship and partnership. You don’t know how to get your spouse to want to be physically intimate with you right now.
Having sex and letting out your playful, erotic self can be a bonding, meaningful experience that creates emotionally security. You have good memories of when you and your spouse were physically and sexually close. And, you want to rebuild sexual desire holistically.
Stuck in a sexual standoff?
When you feel like you partner doesn’t want to have sex, but you want sex, you might feel like you don’t matter to your spouse any longer. Feeling unwanted and undesirable can make you get into critical fights and conflicts. You might wonder if your spouse still finds you attractive, and this is sad and painful, when you aren’t having regular sex.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind encourages open dialogue about sexual pleasure.
As well, you might be a female partner, and your male partner, kisses you for two minutes and then wants to jump right to penetrative sex. You don’t feel like you get enough time to get warmed up sexually. And, when you feel rushed, you might be get stuck faking an orgasm. If your male partner ejaculates and has an orgasm in before you, your sexual pre-leisure is not being prioritized.
She provides sex positive education on why the female partner needs to orgasm first. Sex positive education around the female anatomy and orgasmic system can help when, as the female partner, you feel sexually dissatisfied, frustrated, and want longer foreplay. From sex positive couples counseling, you can learn about desire discrepancies. You both can understand the anatomy of what supports female sexual pleasure, and having one orgasm and multiple orgasms.
Couples therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching gives you a safe place to talk about emotional expression and rebuild your sexual connection.
Your emotional and sexual bonds in your marriage are interconnected. Katie Ziskind, relationship and couples therapy specialist, helps distant couples express love, affection, closeness, emotion, and admiration. Building emotional intimacy supports a framework for sexual passion and sexual pleasure. You get to talk about sexual insecurities in marriage therapy. As well, you get a safe place to learn skills to rebuild sexual desire, and improve the frequency of physical touch in your romantic relationship.
In addition, growing up in a strict, conservative, religious upbringing can contribute to sexual shame, fear, anxiety, and guilt. You might need help learning that masturbation and self-pleasure is normal. Or, you might need help verbalizing your needs in the moment, rather than holding your voice inside. From a young age, you may have been taught not to speak up and keep the peace. Not talking and not speaking up in the moment can contribute to dissatisfying sexual experiences. This can lead to an avoidance of sex all together.
Sexual shame and guilt from a strict, religious upbringing and purity culture can lead to sexual challenges.
First off, due to lack of sexual education growing up, people of all genders may experience difficulties climaxing, challenges orgasming, awkwardness around initiating sex, and sexual performance anxiety. Religious education is very fear and shame based. You may have been taught that your palms would grow hair and bad things would happen if you indulged in self-pleasure or masturbation. Shame and guilt around your sexuality can lead to fears around being sexual with a safe partner such as your spouse.
Due to you and your partner’s lack of sex positive education on the female organic system, you may experience painful sexual intercourse. When there isn’t enough time for foreplay, penetrative sex can be very painful.
Gain sex positive education in marriage counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind
Overall, a lack of education around the importance of foreplay for female sexual pleasure can lead to painful sex. Foreplay is often way too short when you and your partner are sexually frustrated and disconnected. Strict, conservative cultures don’t educate couples on how to support female sexual pleasure.
More often than not, women are taught to cater to their husband’s needs sexually, forfeiting their own pleasure in the process. In couples therapy, we work together to identify these fear-based and duty-based messages. We talk about how you can overcome fear-based beliefs around sex, your own sexuality, and sexual expression. It can be liberating for you both to have a safe place to start talking about the religious, conservative, purity culture messaging you received growing up.
Religious, conservative, purity culture messaging creates sexual shame, misinformation, anxiety, and guilt.
You may also struggle with internal turmoil around giving and receiving pleasure and have challenges with oral sex due to a strict, religious upbringing. Many religions focus on sex being soley for hte purpose of having children. So, oral sex is often cast aside. However, oral sex can be pleasurable, safe, and fun. Talking about your religious, conservative, purity culture roots and your upbringing can help your partner be more understanding of your needs too. In sex positive couples therapy, in Brevard County, Florida, you can learn about how emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy are connected.
So, sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you open the conversation around what more pleasurable sexual experiences look like. You get a safe place to express yoru sexual needs and emotional needs.
Sexual trauma experiences in the past can also lead to challenges with physical intimacy
There may have been sexual trauma or unwanted touch that can play a role in sexual intimacy in your marriage. As well, painful intercourse can be from your flight, fight, and freeze survival responses around sex. When you feel emotionally unsafe, flight, fight, and freeze responses get triggered in your body.
How can being raised in a strict, religious, conservative home that focused on purity culture play a role in sex life issues?
When you grow up with in a family where there is a strict, conservative, and religious focus, you may have received a negative and fear-based messages around sex. When you grow up receiving fear-based messages around sex and your sexuality, you never get sex positive education. You may have been told that sex toys were bad. Maybe, you learned that using a sex toy is considered cheating on your spouse. Or, you have fears and apprehensions around using sex toys in general.
Couples therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida can give you a safe place to talk about the benefits of using sex toys.
Sex toys can bring novelty, fun, offer assistance, and offer a different type of sensation than the human body can bring.
Sex is some thing that is seen as taboo in purity culture, and a strict, religious upbringing.
You may have never seen your own parents hold hands or kiss. Affection between your parents was not a thing. So, you might feel hesitant about giving and receiving affectionate touch in your own marriage. And, when you never saw your parents show affection, this can play a role in your own marital intimacy issues.
Overcoming fear-based massages about sex in sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching
Sometimes, if you’re a woman, you are often told that you should never kiss or have sex with a man before you are married. Any sort of physical contact, even holding hands, with a man before marriage is seen as sinful and taboo.
In purity culture, you may have been taught to be abstinent, and never engage in sexual activity before marriage. If you did engage in sexual activity before marriage, you may have feared being ostracized from your church. You may have also feared public humiliation if anyone found out that you had had sex.
Especially, talking about sex or asking questions about sex to your parents was taboo. Growing up in a strict, conservative and religious upbringing may have made you fear your own sexual urges.
Does sex feel like an obligation, dull, or a chore?
Often times, women in religious communities are taught to give sex in an obligatory or chore-like way to their husband. This takes the fun, pleasure, and playfulness out of the shared experience. Sex should never be an obligation or a chore. When sex becomes an obligation or a chore, there is no pleasure, chemistry, connection, or erotic energy involved. Sex positive couples therapy in Melbourne, Florida at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching supports sexual empowerment, mutual pleasure, eye-contact, connection, and sexual playfulness.
And, women often learn, from a strict, religious upbringing, that it is not okay to say no or have a voice.
A strict, conservative, and religious upbringing based in purity culture also does not teach sex positive sexual education.
In purity culture, you are not taught about what is an adequate length of foreplay. More so, men do not learn about how to pleasure the female body and support a female partner in orgasming first.
And, without sex positive education, men often turn to pornography to learn all that they know about sex. Now, pornography is not proper sexual health education. When you aren’t allowed to talk about sex with your parents because you fear being punished, you turn to the only resource you have. Pornography is often a fantasy sexual experience. Often times, pornography fulfills your sexual fantasies, but does not give you accurate education on how long foreplay should be.
Let’s talk about pornography.
As well, pornography use can lead to unrealistic expectations around real life partner sex. This means that you might think that what you see in pornography is pleasurable for your real life partner. Pornography is paid actors and actresses, showing you they like it for income. They are putting on a show, to help you get sexually turned on. But, your real life partner may not actually enjoy experiencing what you are viewing in pornography videos.
Pornography may show rough sex, but your partner may like more gentle sex.
With Katie Ziskind, sex focused marriage counseling and intimacy therapy in Melbourne, Florida helps you feel confident talking about your sexual desires and needs.
Also, pornography also doesn’t show verbal communication. You don’t get to see verbal check in’s during sexual activities in pornography. Talking together is a normal part of a healthy sexual activities, which pornography doesn’t portray. Verbal communication is an important part of a healthy sexual experience.
There might be moments where you talk about what feeling good for you both. You might ask for more of a specific type of touch. Maybe, you want your partner to touch a specific part of your body more. We all have sexual hot spots.
Or, you might need to talk about insecurities or fear is if they pop in to your mind. You and your partner can learn how to offer each other verbal reassurance which builds connections actually. Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you learn that it is healthy to verbally communicate during sex. Additionally, pornography does not show the range of human emotions that occur during sexual intimacy. You and your partner may fart, laugh, cry during sexual intimacy, and are human beings.
Let’s talk about adequate foreplay for sexual pleasure, building sexual desire, arousal, and satisfaction.
Also, pornography doesn’t show 45 to 90 minutes of foreplay. About 45 to 90 minutes of foreplay is what the female orgasmic system needs to experience sexual arousal and sexual pleasure. For a female to feel satisfied sexually, 45 to 90 minutes of foreplay is necessary.
Now, the male orgasmic system only needs about 5 to 8 minutes of sexual stimulation to achieve an orgasm. On the other hand, the female orgasmic system needs about 45 to 90 minutes of foreplay and stimulation to reach orgasm. However, once having one orgasm, a female can have multiple, sexually pleasurable orgasms.
Pornography is very focused on penis in vagina, penetrative sex.
However, many women typically do not reach orgasm through vaginal penetration or a penis and vagina sex. Instead, sex positive education through couples counseling with Katie Ziskind supports understanding how important foreplay is. Furthermore, foreplay for 45 to 90 minutes allows women to have time to get sexually aroused and stay sexually aroused to orgasm.
By having time to orgasm before a male partner ejaculates, a female partner’s pleasure is prioritized. A female partner will feel close, bonded, and happy when her pleasure is a priority to her male partner. Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you and your partner talk about sexual desire and lengthen foreplay.
For satisfying sex, sex positive couples counseling offers education to male partners to be patient and give enough time through foreplay for a female partner to reach orgasm and experience sexual pleasure.
Furthermore, female sexual arousal is both mental and physical. This means that a female needs time to shift her mind from the responsibilities of parenting, to sex. As well, a female partner may need time to shift over from thinking about her work life or her career, to erotic, sexual energy. It can be difficult to go right from be parent to flirting.
What are erogenous zones and how can sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you learn about them?
As well, during foreplay it is important to stimulate various erogenous zones. Erogenous zones include the inner wrist, scalp, neck, ears, breast and nipples, belly, inner thighs, and feet. Then, after 45 minutes of these areas being stimulated, you might work on moving onto a female’s genital area. The vulva, clitoris, labia, vagina, and anus are all areas that support female sexual pleasure. But, it takes itme for the female sexual orgasmic system to warm up. It takes 45-90 minutes for a female’s clitoris to become engorged with blood.
Only after clitoral engorgement, which takes 45-90 minutes, does sexual stimulation on the clitoral and vulva area feel pleasurable.
To note, a female body takes 45 to 90 minutes to become sexually aroused. Learning about female sexual anatomy is key in creating a satisfying, pleasurable sex life.
A males body takes about 5 to 8 minutes to reach that same level of sexual arousal and orgasm. It’s important to better understand female anatomy and orgasms, when we are looking at creating a more satisfying sex life. The males body brings blood and circulation to the penis during sexual arousal. A female body brings blood and circulation to the breasts, nipples, vulva, and clitoris during sexual arousal. Furthermore, feel good hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are released during orgasm.
If a female partner is not given enough time to orgasm and her male partner ejaculates before she orgasms, she often feels, disappointed, frustrated, upset, irritable, sad, and angry.
Sex positive education with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and coaching helps male partners better understand how important foreplay is to support sexual satisfaction. Orgasming supports emotional closeness in your marriage.
When a female partner orgasms and is given patience to have more than one orgasm, she then also experiences those feel good hormones being released in her brain. Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are bonding chemicals.
This means, from having a satisfying, pleasurable sex life and prioritizing foreplay, a female partner experiences pleasure. And, she will feel more bonded and close with her sexual partner.
Often times, women are told to fake orgasms and forfeit their own personal pleasure.
Sex positive couples counseling with Katie Ziskind in Melbourne, Florida can help you understand what it feels like to orgasm as a female. You might need help, if you are a female, connecting with your sexual self. Maybe, a religious upbringing and purity culture created disconnection from your sexual, erotic side. Instead of feeling like you have to fake an orgasm to please a male partner, or because you feel rushed sexually, you can learn to talk about your sexual needs.
Foreplay is an essential part of building intimacy and enhancing the overall experience of physical intimacy.
Here are 10 foreplay ideas to spice up your romantic moments:
Sensual Massage: Set the mood with a sensual massage. Use aromatic oils, and take turns massaging each other to create a relaxing, close, and intimate atmosphere.
Feather or Silk Touch: Experiment with different textures by using a feather or silk cloth to lightly caress each other’s skin. This gentle touch can be incredibly arousing.
Whispered Affirmations or Dirty Talk: Share intimate and positive affirmations with your partner in a soft and whispered tone. let your partner know what you want to hear. This can create a deeper emotional connection.
Slow Dancing: Put on some romantic music and enjoy a slow dance together. The close physical contact and shared rhythm can heighten anticipation.
Blindfold Play: Using a blindfold can enhance other senses, making every touch more intense. It adds an element of surprise and mystery to the experience.
Role-playing: Explore fantasies through role-playing. Dressing up or adopting different personas can add excitement and novelty to your intimate moments.
Teasing Games: Play teasing games to build anticipation. Use gentle teasing touches and kisses to keep the excitement alive.
Shared Shower or Bath: Take a sensual shower or bath together. The intimacy of sharing this experience can be both relaxing and arousing.
Erogenous Zones Exploration: Discover and pay attention to each other’s erogenous zones. Take your time exploring these areas to understand what brings pleasure to your partner.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind encourages you to verbalize to your partner about where you are in terms of your sexual arousal and how much foreplay you want.
As well, sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help with sexual empowerment. A female partner can realize it is healthy to speak up, rather than hold in her needs. You can let your partner know that you need more time in foreplay, so that your clitoral and vulva area can actually become engorged with blood.
As your body becomes more turned on sexually, your vulva will swell and your vagina will release fluids creating natural lubrication. You can learn to verbalize to your male partner what your clitoral area feels like, and ask for more foreplay. This means being your authentic self and knowing your body’s sexual arousal signals. Talking with your partner is positive.
Healthy communication during sexual moments is a beautiful part of real-life intimacy.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you better pleasure your female partner, leading to a satisfying sex life.
Now, pornography is erotic material. So, sex positive intimacy counseling can help you better understand how the female orgasmic system works. Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you talk about sex in an open and educational way.
Why is foreplay important when it comes to rebuilding sexual desire, and supporting female sexual satisfaction?
In sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind, you both can better understand how long foreplay should be. Foreplay needs to be 45-90 minutes to even be adequate to support a female partner in orgasming. Lengthening foreplay helps a female partner in feeling sexually satisfied.
Instead of sex just being about procreation or penetrative sex, sex can start to be about pleasure and mutual satisfaction. Often times, sex is very focused on having a baby and procreation in purity cultures and strict, religious cultures. Sex positive couples counseling helps you talk about sex in a safe and comfortable way. You get a safe environment to ask sexual questions. In sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind, you both can understand the female body and gain skills for sexual pleasure.
You be need help overcoming the fear-based messages you received growing up, and gain se positive skills for satisfying the female body.
A lot of times, religious, conservative, and fear based messaging makes you think that your natural sexual urges are evil. Also, adolescents are often taught to push away sexual urges.
Many times, women are blamed for sexual assaults. Young adolescent girls are taught that if they wear a skirt that is too short, that it will attract the wrong attention. Adolescent boys are not held to the same standards as young women in many conservative religions. Many times, young boys are not taught to ask for consent before touching or kissing a female. Women are also not taught to have a voice of sexually when growing up in a strict, religious culture.
There is a lot of negative, fear-based messaging around sex in religious, conservative cultures, so you aren’t alone if you feel this way.
You and your partner may be getting stuck using criticism, defensiveness, and talking in a very angry tone of voice with each other.
Defensiveness, cycles of anger, and the silent treatment only damage your marriage. However, you may be getting stuck in this vicious, painful cycle because you need help communicating your deeper emotions. Couples counseling with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida can help you gain positive communication tools. You both can understand how criticism, resentment, defensiveness, and the silent treatment only lead to more emotional pain is distance.
How can sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you talk about your core emotions?
Think of anger like an iceberg. The part of the iceberg that is poking out of the water is actually smaller than the part that is deep underneath the ocean. Anger is what you can see and that is the top of the iceberg. But, underneath anger or emotions like inadequacy, fear, sadness, grief, shame, guilt, insignificant, and feelings of neglect. In order to build healthy communication skills, talking about your core emotions underneath anger is key.
As well, anger is the easiest emotion to show. Anger lets your partner know that you are in distress and you are unhappy. But, when you and your partner have conversations from an upset place, fights become high conflict and escalate. Unfortunately, you both might be saying things that you don’t mean and things that are cruel. And, you both need help verbalizing your core emotions under anger in marriage therapy. You and your partner can learn how to talk about your core emotions in sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind. In couples counseling, you get a safe place to talk about the part of the iceberg that is under the water. This process deepens your bond, builds emotional security, and emotional connection.
In order to talk about your core emotions, you need a safe place to process past experiences such as with Katie Ziskind in Melbourne, Florida couples counseling sessions.
We often don’t learn how to talk about our core, deeper emotions and be emotionally vulnerable in life.
You might have learned about math and science in school. And, you may have a great job and know how to manage your finances. These are all great skills for life. However, learning to share emotionally is an important skill for a happy marriage too. Perhaps, you and your partner did not learn how to verbalize your deeper emotions such as sadness, loneliness, rejection, shame and guilt growing up.
How does childhood trauma play a role in marriage therapy in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching?
Maybe, you watched your parents get into domestic violence fights as a child and yell at each other. You may have seen your dad physically abuse your mom, which was traumatic for you.
Or, you grew up with parents that were emotionally neglectful, in a home that was chaotic. Perhaps, you parents were physically abusive to you, and never taught you about emotions. As a child, due to these traumatic experiences, your nervous system was constantly in a state of fight, flight, and freeze. Fight, flight, unfreeze is your body going into a survival mode, helping you get through trauma. You never had a good role models to show you a healthy, loving, secure marriage or bond.
Learning healthy communication skills can be a playful process of creating the marriage with your partner that you never saw growing up.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you create a safe, loving, and emotionally connected marriage after childhood trauma. When you didn’t have positive role models to show you how to communicate emotions, marriage counseling can be a safe place to learn how to build a close bond with your spouse.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind is safe space to be emotionally vulnerable.
To add, talking about shame and guilt as well as rejection means being emotionally vulnerable. If anything, we’re taught how to stuff away our emotions and hold everything in. Essentially, experiencing emotional neglect and emotional chaos and childhood are traumatic experiences. Experiencing childhood trauma leaves a lasting impact. Talking about trauma is a big part of understanding how to create a healthy marriage. By learning about each other’s trauma experiences, you can learn to build a sense of security together. And, you can work together to offer each other comfort and reassurance as a team, rather than be against each other.
Being able to name core emotions can help you step away from the vicious cycle of fighting, criticism and defensiveness.
So, couples counseling in Melbourne Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you verbalize feelings of rejection, loneliness, hurt, betrayal, sadness, and shame.
Instead of attacking your partner, you can learn to be emotionally vulnerable. For one, this might mean verbalizing how you feel scared or rejected, rather than yelling. To add, talking about deeper fears and insecurities can help you improve your marriage. This skill also helps you de-escalate high conflict fights.
Instead of getting stuck in a cycle of criticism and yelling, you can learn how to talk about your deeper, core feelings in a calm way.
You don’t need to resort to sarcasm, mocking each other, calling each other names, or rolling your eyes. Doing any of these things are actually negative forms of communication that really damage your relationship. And, taking part in negative forms of communication damages or sex life and physical intimacy.
Criticism, defensiveness, the silent treatment, and stonewalling all lead to a lack of security and safety in your romantic partnership.
Emotional safety in your marriage is an important part of sexual connection and sexual intimacy.
Instead of yelling and distance, from marriage counseling in Melbourne Florida, you can learn how to build reassurance and connection. You and your partner can more deeply verbalize your core emotions around rejection, hurt, fear, and anxiety.
Being emotionally vulnerable allows you to open up together. You both get to share that you do value your partnership. Many times, fighting couples get stuck in a critical and resentful cycle of negative communication. One partner tries to overly explain their side, leading to tension and anger. The other partner starts to feel inferior, unheard, or mocked. To add, this is not a good cycle. Getting stuck in this negative cycle of distance will damage your sex life and physical intimacy.
In Melbourne, Florida marriage counseling with Katie Ziskind, you both can learn skills to build comfort, emotional bonding, and emotional security in your marriage.
This might mean being vulnerable and telling your partner that you feel sad, hurt, unimportant, or insignificant by some thing they did or said. You don’t have to hold it in out of fear of rocking the boat any longer. Instead of reacting in anger or yelling, which only puts your partner in a more triggering state, you can learn to de-escalate fights.
Asking for comfort and asking for reassurance is actually a sign of strength and emotional intelligence. Often times, when fighting, you both get stuck in a yelling, critical, and angry pattern of negative communication. And, your flight freight freeze responses kick on. The flight, fight, and freeze response is your survival mechanism.
How can sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help with our flight, flight and freeze survival responses?
Long ago, when you were a cave person, your fight, flight, freeze response signaled to your brain that you were in danger. This response would kick on to save your life when you were physically in danger. Now, this fight, flight, freeze response kicks on because you feel emotionally unsafe in your argument. Criticism, defensiveness, and resentment create a cycle of anger. Your partner’s anger may lead to you emotionally withdrawal. A negative cycle like this in your marriage only lead to your fight, flight, freeze response to stay on. Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you understand your flight, fight, and freeze responses. You can learn to calm your parasympathetic nervous system through self-regulation and co-regulation skills. This means understand your emotional triggers, childhood trauma wounds, and pain points that your partner is hurting.
Essentially, a lack of emotional security and safety and your relationship are good reasons to reach out for sex intimacy focused couples counseling in Melbourne Florida.
If you and your partner are responding defensively and fights are escalating, this is often because the blame game is occurring.
Now, the blame game only leads to more defensiveness, criticism, and angry fights. But, you and yoru partner may not even know you are using the blame game. You just feel hopeless, disconnected, unheard, sad, and angry. Sex and intimacy focused marriage therapy in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you understand the impact of conflict on your sex life too. As well, any sort of emotional distance and blame game that occur will damage your sex life.
By improving your emotional vulnerability skills and talking about your fears and insecurities rather than getting defensive or yelling, you can build emotional connection. Emotional safety is a key foundational piece in sexual passion, sexual desire, and rebuilding your sex life. From working with Katie Ziskind, you can learn how to manage conflict in a healthier way, improving emotional safety. Overall, emotional safety and a strong connection emotionally supports sexual passion and sexual closeness. You get to learn how to do this in couples counseling sessions with Katie Ziskind.
Instead of walking out of the room when your partner is talking, withdrawing, or yelling, you can verbalize to your partner what you’re deeply feeling inside.
Many times, couples respond angrily to each other. And, fights escalate because you are both are emotionally flooded, and in flight, fight, and freeze. Being emotionally flooded is your fight, flight, freeze response kicking in. For, you feel like you have to survive all over again. Experiencing childhood trauma teaches your body how to go into survival mode from a young age.
When you have emotionally neglectful parents or an alcoholic mother, you were not prioritized. Your home life was chaotic and your emotions didn’t matter to your abusive parents. So, you had to survive a very traumatic childhood. Your fight, flight, and freeze response got you through your childhood. However, in fights with your romantic partner, your nervous system goes into fight, flight, and freeze now. Your heart rate elevates.
Then, your blood pressure skyrockets. You feel unsafe all over again, just like you did when you were younger watching your alcoholic parent explode in anger at you. And, in marital arguments, you may feel hopeless and helpless, in the same way that you did when you were a child growing up. Understanding and overcoming your negative communication cycle means gaining empathy for each other’s childhood trauma experiences.
Couples therapy in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you understand how to improve your communication and build a more secure emotional bond.
By developing emotional bonding skills and emotional vulnerability tools, you can develop a foundation for a healthy, passionate, and playful sex life. Many times, physical touch avoidance and sexual intimacy issues are rooted in lack of emotional security and emotional safety. By learning how to talk about your deeper emotions such as insecurity, rejection, sadness, inadequacy, or shame, you can build a stronger bond with your partner. Doing so helps you both with as a team to reduce negative conflict patterns. From sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind, you both can learn positive, healthy communication skills.
How can sex positive couples therapy improve sexual frustration, sexual rejection, and sexual avoidance cycles?
You may have a higher sex drive than your partner, and your partner may be avoiding sex all together. This is be frustrating, upsetting, and lead to marital conflict. Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help break this cycle and support an intimate, sexy, erotic bond.
In general, sex-positive couples therapy with Katie Ziskind fosters an environment in therapy where you both can take part in an open and honest communication. You can talk about your sexual desires, sexual fantasies, sexual insecurities, preferences, and concerns. Katie Ziskind encourages you both to express themselves without fear of judgment, reducing frustration associated with unmet needs.
At Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching, you get to work with Katie Ziskind, a sex-positive therapist, who specializes with couples. Together, you get to explore the root causes of sexual frustration, rejection, and sexual avoidance.
Couples therapy is a safe place to better understand the underlying factors related to sexual avoidance, frustration, and rejection cycles. Marriage therapy is a safe place to talk about childhood trauma, past sexual experiences, your communication styles, as well as individual sexual insecurities.
Katie Ziskind, at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida, enables you both to address these issues collaboratively. Sex-positive therapy challenges societal norms and expectations around sex. You can talk about sexual shame and guilt, and ways to overcome fear-based messages.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind allowing you both to redefine what a pleasurable, satisfying, and regular sexual relationship means for you.
To note, talking about sex openly can alleviate frustration stemming from unrealistic or external pressures, often due to pornography. By delving into each of your perspectives, sex-positive therapy in Melbourne, Florida at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching helps you both build empathy and understanding for each other’s sexual needs.
Talking about your relationship both emotionally and sexually, can mitigate frustration by helping you both recognize and validate each other’s feelings and experiences. Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind helps you gain effective communication tools to navigate discussions around sex.
Likewise, learning to express desires, boundaries, and concerns in a supportive environment can break the cycle of sexual frustration and avoidance. Sex-positive marriage therapy addresses the impact of sexual rejection by exploring the core reasons behind it. It can be due to physical or emotional factors. So, understanding and addressing sexual rejection within a supportive, therapeutic context can pave the way for emotional healing and sexual reconnection.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind encourages you both to develop a sex-positive mindset. Shifting from sexual shame, guilt, frustration, and anxiety to a mindset that embraces sexuality as a natural and diverse aspect of human life is part of couples counseling.
Shifting perspectives in this way helps you both break free from negative sexual cycles associated with shame, anxiety, or guilt. Katie Ziskind may introduce sex-positive exercises and activities aimed at rebuilding intimacy.
To add, these activities can range from sensual touch exercises. Or, sexual homework in couples counseling may include talking about sexual fantasies. You might need to talk about lengthening foreplay, and building excitement, desire, and pleasure.
Sex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching is a safe space for sexual exploration and to increase physical connection.
Overall, sex-positive therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching often includes education on sexual wellness, female sexual anatomy, sexual skills, and sexual confidence. As well, Katie Ziskind specializes in helping couples understand their bodies, orgasming, sexual arousal gaps, sexual desires, and sexual health.
This knowledge empowers both of you to overcome sexual barriers and fosters a healthier, more pleasure-oriented sexual dynamic. Through sex-positive marriage therapy with Katie Ziskind, you can establish a positive feedback loop in which communication, understanding, and shared experiences reinforce a satisfying, pleasurable, and passionate sexual connection.
Gaining emotional connection and physical intimacy helps break the cycles of frustration, rejection, and sexual avoidance. By building up your couple bubble, you can team up to create a more fulfilling, pleasurable, satisfying. and sustainable intimate relationship.
If your arguments have been getting worse, and you feel sexually distant, marriage counseling in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind can help you reconnect and bond.
Maybe, you are having more and more arguments lately. You had a big one recently and talking together did not fix anything. Now, you have both agreed that the best way to move forward is to get a marriage counselor. You both have been together a long time and want to work on your marriage. And, you have children together, but you want to prioritize your sex life and intimacy again.
Whether fights are about in law’s, parenting, finances, sex, intimacy, or running your home, marriage therapy can help you both. You can learn to express your deeper, core emotions in a calm way. As well, from building emotional security and connection, you can set the foundation for sexual playfulness and erotic desire to flourish. You and your spouse can learn ways to improve your emotional bonding, reassurance, and sexual intimacy and sex life.
Testimonials from Katie Ziskind’s past couples therapy and family therapy clients:
“My family turned to Katie after a traumatic event. While the focus was on my tween, my husband and I also had sessions and received support. We started once weekly, eventually tapering to biweekly, then monthly sessions. We met first in person then transitioned to video calls once the connection was made and my daughter was comfortable. Katie introduced different methods and tools of therapy including outdoor walks, games, music, meditation, dance, art, and her two wonderful papillons. We are grateful for the almost year and a half (2022-2023) Katie worked with our family and highly recommend her.”
“Katie at Wisdom Within made me believe that therapy really works. My wife and I were looking for a way to strengthen our communication and Katie helped us do that and so much more. I would recommend Katie to anyone. It was my first experience with therapy and I can honestly say it was the best decision for my relationship that we ever made!”
“Katie Ziskind is a wonderful couples therapist in Melbourne, Florida.”
“She truly goes above and beyond to assess our needs for each session and focus on what we are there to address in that day. She was thoughtful of my ADHD diagnosis while in session and brought along many tools to make us comfortable. Highly recommend this practice to anyone, even if you’ve never been to therapy before.”
“Katie is amazingly empathetic and exceedingly helpful in working through both the long term and more recent challenges in my life. I would definitely recommend her to anyone who wants to make a positive change in their lives.”
“Katie Ziskind, licensed marriage and family therapist, is a compassionate and experienced marriage and family therapist in Melbourne, Florida. She is certified in many treatment modalities including Yoga and is a PTSD and trauma clinician. She provides a safe environment for her clients and I highly recommend her!”
“My daughter and I had a wonderful experience with WWC. Our counselors were wonderfully kind and supportive. They provided many helpful resources relative to what we were going through. It was a pleasure to work with them and definitely improved our quality of life. Thank you for providing a safe space to explore, feel & learn!”
At Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida, Katie Ziskind is so kind and very easy to talk to.
“I tend to be very awkward and uncomfortable when talking to someone new, but I felt immediately comfortable with Katie. She provides amazing therapy in an environment that feels safe and comfortable!”
“Katie’s practice is professional yet extremely welcoming. I love how organized Wisdom Within is with their intake, scheduling and appointments. My child had their first session tonight and quickly connected to Amy. Finding a great therapist is hard so I am happy to have found success with Wisdom Within.”
“Wow she is awesome!! We learned so many tools from Katie to improve our marriage. I recommend her counseling for sure.”
“Katie is super kind and very knowledgeable. She has a peaceful and happy personality that she is able to share. It seems that she genuinely cares about the clients as individuals, and I would definitely recommend her to people in the area.”
“I can’t say enough nice things about Katie; she is incredibly disarming, empathetic, and insightful. She radiates positivity and creates an environment focused on understanding and personal growth. She is an outstanding and hardworking individual who is amazing at what she does.”
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Where in Brevard County, Florida can you and your partner work with Katie Ziskind, sex and intimacy specialist?
Katie Ziskind, specializes insex focused marriage therapy and intimacy counseling in Melbourne, Palm Bay, Titusville, Cocoa, Rockledge, Satellite Beach, Merritt Island, Cape Canaveral, Cocoa Beach, West Melbourne, Indian Harbour Beach, Melbourne Beach, Indialantic, and Malabar, Grant-Valkaria. As well, Katie Ziskind helps couples rebuild sexual desire, overcome sexual shame and guilt, and create an amazing sex life in Florida in Palm Beach County, Boca Raton, near Orlando, Windermere, in Broward County, Parkland, near Miami Beach, Fisher Island, Palm Beach, near Miami, Key Biscayne, Aventura, and on the Gulf Coast, Naples.
How can couples therapy help, overall?
Couples therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida provides a safe space for you and your partner to explore and understand your communication patterns. Effective communication is crucial for a healthy relationship. So, by enhancing communication skills, you both can better express your needs, desires, and concerns. This positively impacting both your emotional connection and your sex life. You can also learn to resolve conflict in calm, effective ways, which supports sexual connection and physical intimacy. Right now, you may be facing conflicts that, if left unaddressed, can negatively affect your sexual intimacy. Marriage therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida helps you both develop healthier conflict resolution strategies. Learning to resolve conflict fosters a more supportive home environment that allows for emotional and physical closeness.
The emotional connection between you both is a cornerstone of a satisfying sex life.
Through couples therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida, you both can explore your emotional bond. To note, this means deepen your understanding of each other’s needs, which creates a more secure and intimate connection. Couples therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida provides a dedicated space to address sexual concerns or difficulties.
Whether related to sexual desire discrepancies, low libido, sexual rejection and frustration, sexual performance anxiety, or past trauma, Katie Ziskind can help you both navigate these issues. She provides guidance, tools, and exercises to improve the sexual aspect of your romantic relationship. Marriage therapy with Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida encourages you both to explore various forms of intimacy beyond the physical too. Emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy are equally important for a fulfilling, close relationship. By broadening the definition of intimacy, both of you can find new ways to connect and deepen your bond.
With Katie Ziskind at Wisdom Within Counseling and Coaching in Melbourne, Florida, you can develop emotional security, as well as sexual passion and sexual intimacy.
Couples therapy in Melbourne, Florida with Katie Ziskind aims to create a secure and supportive environment for you both. When you both feel secure within your relationship, you are more likely to express themselves authentically. This means you co-create a deeper emotional and sexual connection. To add, this sense of security becomes the foundation of a robust “couple bubble” that protects and nurtures your relationship.
Over time, you may experience a drift in your emotional and physical connection. Sex positive couple therapy in Melbourne, Florida can help identify the factors contributing to this distance and provide tools to reignite your spark.
Rebuilding emotional closeness has a positive impact on a your sex life.
From sex positive couples counseling with Katie Ziskind, sex and intimacy specialist, you can learn to build a strong, resilient, and secure couple bubble. This means looking at both the emotional and sexual intimacy aspects of your partnership.
Katie Ziskind specializes in helping distant couples who feel sexually frustrated, rejected, and struggle with sexual avoidance.
