Women may experience a variety of sexual dysfunction and challenges in the bedroom. There is hope if you are a woman or you know a woman who needs help due to struggles with the delay or absence of an orgasm. Learning how to orgasm is a practice and skill set. You are not alone if you struggle with orgasm disorders. Anorgasmia is a disorder that can be treated in sex and intimacy therapy. Women and their partner can learn skills and techniques to support foreplay, the female orgasm, and female sexual pleasure. Orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females can be treated successfully in sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling.
To start, click the button below for a phone consult for sex and intimacy therapy to treat orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
What is anorgasmia in intimacy counseling?
To note, anorgasmia is a disorder when women experience delayed, infrequent or no orgasms at all. In a sexual activity, a sex therapist can determine skills each woman and couple needs to gain to overcome orgasm disorders. Some when with anorgasmia may experience less passionate or intense orgasms over time. Often, orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females may be from a combination of complex issues. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling can help a woman learn to be in touch with their body and experience an orgasm again.
Causes for delay or absence of an orgasm and orgasmic disorders in women
In general, when a female’s sexual pleasure is cut short, that can lead to orgasming problems. This could be from lack of sexual education about what supports female pleasure. So, when foreplay and lovemaking activities that consistently end before the woman orgasms, this can lead to orgasmic disorders in women and the need for intimacy and sex therapy. At times, this can be due to her partner ejaculating too soon. Insufficient foreplay and lack of sexual teasing are causes for orgasmic disorders in women. As well, couples often do not get proper sexual education until starting in couples and intimacy counseling. Orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females can be treated through the speciality of sex and intimacy counseling at Wisdom Within. Lastly, orgasmic problems can be from lack of understanding about female anatomy, clitoral stimulation, erogrnous zones, and genital organs.
Do trust issues cause orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in women?
Importantly, conflicts, emotional problems, or trust issues in the relationship can lead to anorgasmia. Emotional hurt, betrayal, or secret keeping can lead to fears that prevent a female from orgasming. If a female found her partner watching pornography, she may feel angry, betrayed, and insecure about her body. Also, if a female feels her partner has been emotionally cheating or physically cheating, she may develop an orgasm disorder and anorgasmia. Anxiety with roots in trust issues lead to orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
What happens emotionally when a female has problems orgasming?
Women may feel low in self-esteem, depression, or anxious about sexual activities when they experience anorgasmia. There may be relationship conflicts, emotional stress, and arguments that arise from sexual dysfunction issues. A female may become critical of herself for not being able to orgasm. She may need help developing positive self-talk. Essentially, anorgasmia can cause emotional problems and tension around sexual activities for women and their partner.
To start, click the button below for a phone consult for sex and intimacy therapy to treat orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
Benefits of seeking sex and intimacy therapy for the delay or absence of orgasm in females
Couples and women can talk about any distress or frustration in marriage counseling and intimacy therapy. Not being able to orgasm can lead to shame, guilt, anxiety, frustration, and more emotions. A female and her partner get to vocalize feelings related to orgasm disorders and anorgasmia. Marriage counseling and intimacy therapy can help women and their partners gain sex education. Women need 45-90 minutes as preparation for an orgasm before vaginal penetration. Also, many women do not orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, and need clitoral stimulation. There can be a number of reasons when a woman develops anorgasmia or other orgasming disorders. Working with a sex and intimacy therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help women and their partners overcome anorgasmia.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling can help if you feel significant distress about orgasming and have anorgasmia.
What builds sexual desire and increases sexual desire?
Difficulty with orgasm may occur from any issues in life with one being changes with hormones. Also, if you do not have a healthy, loving relationship with a romantic partner, orgasming will be difficult. Any arguments can make a huge difference in sex drive. Building passion and emotional safety can take place over the course of a whole day, but many couples do not have the foreplay skills to build desire.
Shame, obligation, and guilt in therapy for orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females
Before starting therapy, females may feel obligated to preform sexually. In order to please a sexual partner, a female may fake an orgasm to make sure their partner’s ego isn’t damaged. Even in sexual experiences, women may feel pressure to put their partner’s sexual needs first before their own sexual pleasure. Due to cultural shame and guilt, a female may feel her partner should orgasm or is more of a sexual priority. A female may want a certain part of her body touched and not speak up. Oftentimes, a female will not vocalize their sexual needs in the midst of a sexual experience. To support overcoming anorgasmia and a healthy sex life, a female should orgasm first. In couples and intimacy therapy, your therapist can support female sexual pleasure. Often, when treating anorgasmia and issues with orgasming, couples are not supporting the female orgasm first.
Anxiety around sexual performance plays a role in orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females
If a female feels anxious to preform, she may develop anorgasmia. Anxiety about sexual performance plays a huge role in how comfortable a female is to be sexually open. Anxiety, worry, or even feeling responsible can lead to issues being mindful. It can be difficult to relax and enjoy a sexual experience if a female feels worry. Maybe, a female feels worried about the sexual activity and feels she has to perform to make her partner happy. Some women face sexual anxiety if they have been criticized by a sexual partner in the past.
Pregnancy and other life changes impact sex drive and can cause orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females
When women get pregnant and have a baby, they experience postpartum changes that cause a decrease in sex drive. Having a baby can lead to intimacy and sex life changes. Likewise, going through menopause can affect sex drive, vaginal wetness, orgasming, inimtacy and sex. Menopause can lead to a decrease in vaginal wetness as well.
Marriage, sex, and intimacy counseling sessions support females and couples in overcoming anorgasmia and delays in orgasming
As well, working with a sex and intimacy therapist can help women understand adequate sexual stimulation needs. Understanding self-pleasure, clitoral stimulation, and lengthening foreplay can all be parts of treating orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females. Many women and their partners do not realize the duration of time required for adequate sexual stimulation for a woman to experience an orgasm.
To start, click the button below for a phone consult for help orgasming and building a healthy, passionate sex life.
Clitoral stimulation can help orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females
Most women can reach and experience an orgasm when their clitoris is receives stimulation. Due to lack of sexual education in our culture, many women and couples do not realize how important the clitoris is. For females, the clitoris becomes engorged with blood in the same way a female’s penis becomes hard and erect. To note, it is important that a female experiences about 45-90 minutes of foreplay before her clitoris is touched. Touching other areas before touching her clitoris builds sexual desire and arousal in females. A female also wants to feel desired in the foreplay time, as well as teased and edged.
What is edging when it comes to treating orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females?
Edging is a skills that can be a part of self-pleasure and mastrobation as well as sexual experiences as a couple. Also, edging can be a form of orgasm control and build sexual pleasure. Sexual edging is also known as peaking or surfing. A female can bring herself close to an orgasm, and them back off. Doing this over and over can lead to a massive orgasm and ecstasy. In self-pleasure or mastrobation, edging is a form of adventure, play, and teasing. Essentially, you or your partner prolong and draw out the process of experiencing an orgasm.
Increase sexual skills like edging when treating orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females
Edging brings you to your sexual edge right before an orgasm. Then, you or your partner stop the touch, making you crave more pleasure sexually. This makes a female deeply want and yearn, build a strong desire for, and long, even beg, for a massive orgasm. Edging sexually helps women gain mindfulness skills, focus her attention on her body, and be present. As well, edging sexually takes the focus off the end goal of orgasming, and instead builds suspense, playfulness, and mystery. In general, edging is a mindfulness skill.
A female will feel her clitoris more and more as she becomes more sexually aroused during a foreplay experience.
As her body becomes more sexually aroused, she will feel heat and pressure in her clitoris signaling she wants touch there. So, when that time comes, she will know she wants more because her clitoris will be throbbing. A throbbing clitoris develops from foreplay, teasing, and positive feelings of sexual desire. As well, a female may being to feel her clitoris become engorged after 45-90 minutes of foreplay. Notably, the female clitoris is full of nerve endings that when touch signal pleasure in her brain. To add, touching a female’s clitoris can provide relaxation, pleasure, sexual longing, and build desire.
How to find the clitoris?
The location of the clitoris is above the vulva and has a clitoral hood. Self-pleasure is the first step in a healthy sex life. Sex and intimacy therapy can help women practice mindfulness around sexual activities. The more a woman can focus on what is happening in the moment, the more she can pay attention to her body. Gaining mind-body connection skills support women in becoming aware of sexual sensations and her body. A key part of mindfulness in sexual activities and self-pleasure is not making judgments. Letting go of should’s and judgements and feeling what is happening are essential.
Self-pleasure and mastrobation are key components in a healthy sex life
Sex and intimacy therapy can be a safe place to talk about clitoral stimulation in mastrobation and self-pleasure. To improve sexual energy, sex and intimacy therapy teaches females the importance of mastrobation and self-pleasure. A female needs encourage to touch herself and set aside time to appreciate her own goddess energy. Self-pleasure and mastrobation can give a female time to get to know what she likes and how she feels. What is a climax when it comes to orgasming? Well, that is the most passionate, massive feeling of pleasure right at the point of orgasming. Experiencing an orgasm and reaching a climax is a mind, body, and spirit experience of intense pleasure.
Sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can be a safe place to talk about female self-pleasure and mastrobation
Also, a female can learn to stimulate the external portion of her clitoris by touching around the clitoris first. Then, she can apply a light pressure with finger tips. If she wants more pressure, she can apply more. In a sexual experience with her partner, she may enjoy stimulation of her clitoris by fingers, a vibrator, palm, or her partner’s tongue.
To start, click the button below for a phone consult for sex and intimacy counseling to treat orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
Lack of adequate foreplay can lead to anorgasmia and orgasming issues
Notably, when it comes to treating anorgasmia and orgasm disorders, women need 45-90 minutes of foreplay. Many women do not orgasm after 5-7 minutes as a penis owner would. The male sexual anatomy and female sexual anatomy are very different. Often times, women with orgasming issues or anorgasmia may not have an orgasm due to lack of foreplay. Yes, a quickie can be exciting and thrilling, but often leaves a female lacking in an orgasm and missing out of sexual pleasure. Sex therapy and intimacy counseling help women and their partner get educated sexually. When treating orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females, increasing foreplay is one treatment.
Why increase foreplay?
Some couples are stuck in the same boring routine. Other couples just focus too much on getting to sexual penetration as an end goal. Foreplay any sexual activity before intercourse that sets the mood for play, adventure, suspense, connection, and communication. Often, couples focus too much on vaginal penetration and sexual intercourse. They miss out of the fun and playfulness that can be a part of foreplay. Instead, sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling helps couples increase foreplay to treat orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
What is foreplay when it comes to female sexual dysfunctions and orgasm disorders?
In sex and intimacy therapy, couples can learn to draw out foreplay. Reading erotic books such as by Silvia Day, or listening to a sexy audio book can be parts of foreplay. Also, couples that have great foreplay take the time to learn the skills to create great foreplay. It is not always easy when you feel rusty or stuck. So, working with a sex and intimacy therapist can give you fresh ideas and encouragement to try new things.
Working with a sex and intimacy therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can definitely help.
Foreplay brings attraction, heat, and is what builds sexual arousal and desire. For each couple, foreplay can look different. Giving your partner a back massage can be a part of sexual adventure and foreplay. Also, each time you and your partner play around in foreplay activities, it may look and feel different. Even laughing, smiling, and non sexual touch are beginnings of foreplay. Kissing your female partner’s neck, sucking on her ear lobes, and caressing her arms can be elements of foreplay. Using your eyes to wink can build sexual desire. As the sexual heat builds, making out and french kissing for 30 seconds builds desire more. Essentially, as a partner, you want to do just enough to get her excited about what’s to come. You should feel sense of passion building, connection flowing, and sexual pleasure growing.
Foreplay is essential to a healthy, satisfying sex life and supports female pleasure
When couples build the heat in foreplay and teasing, these playful, sexual activities boost oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin in the brain. The sexual energy needs to build up and up over the course of 45-90 minutes. As well, it is important to know that the female body needs more warming up to feel sexually aroused or turned on.
Without adequate foreplay and sexual build up, a woman may not feel sexually aroused and will not be able to orgasm.
Think of foreplay like the time it takes to make banana bread. Banana bread takes about an hour to cook in the oven. If you take it out sooner, it will be runny and inedible. A female needs that same time like banana bread does to become prepared for an orgasm. So, think of preparing the female body for orgasm in the same way. Lengthening and spicing up foreplay can help treat orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
Women often feel pressure to give to others and put themselves last, which plays into sex therapy for the delay or absence of orgasm.
When treating orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females, a female needs to have time to orgasm and her orgasm needs to be prioritized by her partner before intercourse. Couples counseling supports sex education on female sexual needs.
The female body takes 45-90 minutes to become turned on and sexually aroused.
To note, before vaginal penetration, a female needs 45-90 minutes to be prepared to orgasm. Many women and their partners do not receive proper sexual education on supporting the female orgasm. Counseling can help a female and her partner work together to help her experience an orgasm. Prioritizing and lengthening sexual foreplay is one step in the right direction.
To start, click the button below for a phone consult for sex and intimacy skills for lengthening foreplay and creating a meaningful, passionate, fulfilling sex life.
Sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can help females and their partners feel confident and empowered around sexual pleasure.
For treatment for anorgasmia and challenges with orgasming, one step is to support female pleasure and the female orgasm before penetration. Often, women need the support of a professional sex therapist to understand they deserve sexual pleasure too. Many women learn to put their own sexual pleasure and sexual desires last. Couples therapy and intimacy counseling help couples learn why a female’s orgasm is essential before lovemaking or penetration begins. Taking the time for foreplay supports female sexual pleasure and preparation for orgasming. Females and their partners may end lovemaking too soon and have not enough foreplay when struggling with anorgasmia.
When a female has had a negative, past sexual experience, she may have anxiety and anorgasmia issues.
If a past sexual partner criticized a female’s body shape, weight, or smell, she may feel anxious about future sexual experiences. Any sort of anxiety takes a female out of being fully present and being able to enjoy sexual pleasure. To note, anorgasmia should not be treated without the help of a specialist, such as Wisdom Within Counseling. Many times, when couples try to talk about anorgasmia and orgasming issues, they end up with intense emotions. A female may feel anxious or insecure. Their sexual partner may feel sexually frustrated or sexually rejected. Therefore, at Wisdom Within Counseling, intimacy and sex therapy for the delay or absence of orgasm can help females release stress in healthy ways. Also, couples can talk about anorgasmia and orgasming disorders in calm, relaxing ways.
Lack of communication around sexual needs and wants
Additionally, anorgasmia in women can develop from poor communication about sex. A female may not feel comfortable or may feel insecure sharing what she wants or enjoys. Maybe, she has a fantasy that she wants to share, but fears rejection. Sometimes, women struggle with anorgasmia and orgasming issues because their sexual partner does not respond to her communication. For instance, a female may ask for role play experiences and her partner may not follow through. She may buy a new sexy outfit or lingerie and her partner does not seem to notice or care. Or, a female may want to do a sexy scavenger hunt and her partner may be unmotivated. Also, a female may be saying she wants more foreplay, but her partner may be ready for vaginal intercourse. The timing may be off and her partner is not aware of her sexual desires or sexual needs. Feelings of rejection and lack of communication contribute to orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females.
Unfortunately, when a female has a sexual partner who doesn’t respond to communication, this can lead to anorgasmia and orgasming challenges.
Likewise, learning to listen and understand is key to a healthy, satisfying sex life. In couples, sex, and intimacy counseling, couples can have a safe place to talk about loving, nurturing, sexy communication that foster the female orgasm. Communication skills, gaining empathy, and emotional validation tools are all part of overcoming anorgasmia in females for couples.
Clear out clutter to foster a sexual, intimate environment and space
Messy environment can lead to stress preventing an orgasm
Having a messy bedroom can completely take away sexy vibes. Clear out and organize the space where you want to be sexual and make love. To note, having fresh sheet on your bed and clutter organized can set the scene for sex. Looking at messes can lead a female to feel responsible for cleaning, rather than mindful about intimacy and sex. Take away any distractions like cell phones. Putting on sexy music can support a romantic, sexy, intimate experience. Any mess, a pile of laundry, or clutter can lead to anorgasmia and challenges orgasming. Get rid of fowl smells like body odor or sweat.
Lighting makes a huge difference in female sexual pleasure
Make sure to turn off fluorescent lights to foster a sexy, intimate, romantic environment. Dim lighting and candles can set a romantic tone for the evening. As well, if you have children, you may need to organize them to sleep over a friend’s house. Or, you may need to get a hotel for true privacy for a sexy, romantic evening. Having boundaries around time together will help prioritize sex and intimacy in your relationship.
To start, click the button below for a phone consult for marriage, sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling.
Talk about timing to foster sexy play
Think about the time of day when you are most aroused. Some females are most sexually aroused in the morning before the day has begun. Mid-day or lunch time is also a prime time for some women in terms of sexual arousal. Other females are most sexually aroused when the day is over, in the evening.
Pain during vaginal and sexual intercourse
Many women with orgasmic disorder have other types of sexual problems, such as pain during sex. Painful sex can be a result of many components. For instance, some women experience painful sex because they smoke cigarettes, are on hormonal birth control, are pregnant, going through menopause, are going through chemo therapy treatments, and take anti-histamine and anti-depressants.
Your sex and intimacy therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help if you have painful sex.
Sexual activities and intercourse without lubricant can lead to itching, burning, rubbing, friction, chaffing, and overall discomfort. Sometimes the discomfort can last for days after a sexual experiences. Other times, the pain is only during the sexual experience itself. Painful sexual experiences can be uncomfortable and prevent a female from orgasming. Furthermore, friction and pain make sex unpleasant and not fun. Orgasm disorders and anorgasmia in females can be from painful sex and lack of natural vaginal lubrication.
Intimacy and sex therapy for the delay or absence of an orgasm can help a woman understand the need for lubrication.
One reason women have painful sex is not enough vaginal wetness. Applying lubricant to the genital area, after a female has orgasmed, when intercourse is going to begin can help reduce pain. Putting lubricant on before sex can ease sexual pain from intercourse. Also, females have sensitive, delicate tissues, so we recommend unscented lubricants. When it comes to a lubricant, your sex and intimacy therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you pick the right one.
Picking the right lubricant for female pleasure takes time
Oil and silicone based lubricants are best for anal sex. Silicone lubricants can break down the silicone on sex toys. So, when using a silicone lubricant on a silicone sex toy, make sure to be aware of that. Even extra virgin coconut oil, olive oil, or sesame oil can be perfect for less painful sex. Also, these are edible and food grade so you do not have to worry about an additive, scent or fragrance causing an allergic reaction. To note, water-based lubricants are good for vaginal penetration, but not anal sex.
Using a lubricant can relieve any pain or discomfort a female is experiencing due to vaginal dryness and friction.
Integrate new sexual health practices
Once you find a lubricant that you enjoy, keep it in stock in your home. Keep some near your bed for easy use. Just like you would keep tooth paste and not run out, keep extra bottles of your favorite lubricant on hand. Also, keep lubricant in your travel bag, so you have it for vacations like you would your toothpaste.
We give you a safe space at Wisdom Within Counseling
Health issues like diabetes, depression medications like SSRI’s and anti-depressants, and hormonal birth control pills can significant lower desire. There are typically a combination of challenges contributing to an absence of orgasm. Working with a sex and intimacy therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can give you a safe place to talk about sex drive, orgasming, and multiple orgasms. Intimacy and sex therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling often helps women and their partner deal with issues that affect their sexual life from hormones, to conflict, to stress, to medications. Sex and intimacy therapy can help women talk about specific sexual problems with their relationship with their partner in a safe, loving way.
All females deserve to and can experience an amazing, fulfilling, massive orgasm with professional help.
