Many times, when a young adult is struggling with their sexual orientation or questioning their gender, they may be suicidal, self-harming, or more angry. To add, teenagers may be struggling to keep friendships in their life when feeling rejection from friends or being bullied. Sometimes, a break up can really impact a young adult who is already struggling with their gender. When an adolescent or adult is questioning their gender, they may be more sensitive to developing anxiety and depression symptoms. As well, a teen who with identifies as non binary or queer needs a safe place to feel free from rejection or bullying. Meeting with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help with developing positive coping strategies for these stressors.
How can East Lyme, CT counseling help with LGBTQIA queer exploration?
Counseling can be just that safe place to process LGBTQIA+ exploration feelings. Overall, it is important for teenagers and adults to have a safe place for emotional support around queer gender expression. Wisdom Within Counseling is a group of therapists who offer LGBTQIA+ therapy.
In therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling, our team offers art, walking, yoga therapies and drama therapies that help with LGBTQIA confidence.
Art, yoga, and holistic therapies can reduce impulsive thinking.
We find that transgender teenagers enjoy holistic art, yoga, music, and alternative therapies, which support positive coping tools.
If your teenager is harming themselves or having an eating disorder, they may also be identifying as non binary or transgender. Some teenagers who are exploring LGBTQIA+ do not feel comfortable talking about these feelings with parents and family out of fear of rejection. Other teenagers will ask their parents to use their preferred pronouns like they and them pronouns.
Why talk about gender in the first place?
One reason to talk about gender around the dinner table is that you can start to debunk cultural stigmas. Gender doesn’t just have to be two categories, male or female. From the start, gender is fluid. However, society is rigid and cruel.
Why do pronouns and language matter?
Your child might be asking for their preferred pronouns, but feeling rejected when no one in their home uses them. So, caregivers may not be aware of how important pronouns to a queer or transgender youth. As well, counseling can help adolescents, siblings, and parents learn to feel confident using preferred pronouns. In LGBTQIA+ affirming counseling, you can talk about what pronouns means. Working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help you and your teenager build self-esteem and self-acceptance skills.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult to work with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut.
What not to do when your child or teenager is non binary or transgender?
As well, parents who are anxious about forcing their child to be in a male or female box will miss out on helping their child develop their own gender identity.
Often times, when a parent tells a child what men and women are supposed to be like, that parent limits their child’s ability to express their gender in a healthy way.
Children who are boys need to be able to play with dolls freely and wear pink. As well, children who are girls need to be able to play with trucks. In working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut, you can feel more confident helping your child embrace both masculine and feminine traits.
How does gender develop?
Often times, these gender fluid behaviors are criticized shortly after a child turns three years old. There may be pressure from grandparents to dress your baby girl in pink. Or you may feel pressure to cut your boy’s hair short because that’s just what is done for boys. In LGBTQIA+ queer affirming counseling in Old Lyme, Connecticut, we teach families that a person can wear pink and blue. We teach that dads can present as feminine. And, women can present as masculine.
As well, talking about gender to children shows them know how to step in and stop bullying.
Your teen can confidently intervene when they hear another fellow peer being mean. From their parents, children learn how to understand gender and how women and men are supposed to be. Remember, as a parent, you are doing positive work guiding your child in a non binary way. Unfortunately, many parents do not have important conversations with their children about gender because it’s really scary and unfamiliar.
How can queer and LGBTQIA+ counseling help?
Working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help you and your child understand gender expression more fluid ways. Many times, children are taught to have very rigid gender ideas starting with phrases such as, “boys can’t.” “Boys can’t play dance,” is common. As well as, “girls are not allowed to…” from then on, a boy will naturally internalize shame with wearing pink, ballet, dance, dress up, or wanting to play with dolls. However, studies show that boys who are permitted and allowed to play with baby dolls end up even better and more nurturing fathers! Letting your child play with the toys they want is positive. And, being allowed to be who they are can make all the difference in their adulthood years.
How to talk to young children about gender?
Four children ages three years old and five years old, you’ll want to keep it simple. Bibliotherapy, play therapy, and picture books are great ways for children to understand what they are going through and what their family members are going through. Picture books examples are, “Sparkle Boy,” or “Jacob’s New Dress.” These books help children understand gender expression and make it acceptable. You might even gift a book to your child’s elementary classroom teacher. Remember, young children are not looking for big explanations.
Working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help you and your LGBTQIA+ child bond and build trust.
Narrate positive expressions of gender by saying, “Boys can play with dolls too.”
As a parent, you can step in if you hear another child misgendering your child. As well, you can help your child understand that other children might express their gender in different ways. Say your child comes home from school telling you that a girl has short hair. Then, have a conversation around how different people like their hair in different ways it might even have different colors of hair. Open the conversation! Would your child like to dye their hair or cut their hair short? It’s okay if they don’t, but other children might like expressing their gender by having short hair even if they are a girl. Meeting with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help your whole family thrive.
To start, click the button below to book a phone consult to learn more about LGBTQIA+ affirming and gender counseling in Southeastern Connecticut.
How would a child ages 6 to 12 want to learn about gender?
Now, a child who is between the ages of six years old and 12 years old will need a little bit more support around understanding differences in gender and gender expression. Often times, it can help to ask your child the questions they may have a need you to answer. Remember, reinforce all forms of gender expression as normal and acceptable.
Does your 11 year old want to dress up in cosplay and wear wigs?
Or, does your 12 year old want to go shopping in a different gender section of the clothing store? Often times, for this age, adolescents themselves are choosing a preferred name. Working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help distant families overcome conflict around changing names. Someone in your child’s class might want to be called a different name. And, your child might want to talk their friend who is non binary or transgender at the family dinner table.
How to handle it when your child wants to change their name?
Normalize name changes, but counseling can help slow down the decision making process. For instance, when people get married they change their name. And, when people get divorced they change their name. Name changes are pretty typical, but it just seems unusual for a child to pick their own name.
Working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help you as a parent process fear, worry, or loss around your child wanting to change their name.
Many parents have feelings like loss, grief, and anxiety about their child changing names. With that said, helping your child who is cisgender understand how to use their friend’s preferred pronouns, is another important skill. You can teach your cisgender child how to be respectful by using their friend’s or sibling’s preferred name.
How do I explain to my child that their non binary or transgender friend has a different name now?
First, take the time as a parent to research and slow it down. You might say, “Some children and adolescents, what they feel on the inside matches their body on the outside. For other children who might be non-binary or trans or even gender questioning, the outside doesn’t match the inside. Using their preferred name shows respect and helps other people see who this person really is on the inside. Using their preferred name will help them feel like you care about them and accept them. You wouldn’t want to be called my name or someone else’s name. Remember, apologize if you slip up.”
How might a 13 to 19 year-old like to learn about their gender questioning feelings and gender identity?
With an adolescent of about ten years, parents can take an active role by listening. As a parent, you might feel scared, concerned, but mostly it is important for you to show curiosity. Overall, they want you to use their pronouns and their preferred name. It is okay to feel sad that your child is changing their name, but process this by working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut.
Should parents of transgender children seek counseling?
Furthermore, getting into LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy can help parents open their mind. Essentially, seek your own queer affirming therapy as a parent. You can explore your limiting beliefs from your childhood and culture. As well, therapy can help you return to parenting your teenager feeling calm and refreshed. With that said, individual counseling also help you deal with your own value system. Often, parents learn about their upbringing, religion, or limiting beliefs in counseling. By attending counseling sessions, parents may realize that these beliefs might prevent them from being LGBTQIA+ affirming and accepting their non binary child.
Generally, your LGBTQIA+ adolescent or non binary teenager is looking to feel safe talking to you about their feelings.
As a parent, it’s important to remember that you might be the only person in your family that is willing to listen to your gender questioning adolescent. Other siblings or even another parent might not even have the interest to do so or might even have their own religious or cultural beliefs that limit them. If your teenager comes out, reassure them that you love them no matter what.
To start, click the button below to book a phone consult to learn more about LGBTQIA+ confidence through counseling.
What to do if your child is gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer?
No matter if your child is bisexual or if they’re pansexual or if they’re gay, accept and love them. If your child is transgender, tell them verbally that you will always love them no matter what. Often, a transgender person faces so much rejection and feels so much shame for who they are. So, any extra positive compliments help boost self-image and self-esteem.
Importantly, do not assume that your adolescent has come out to siblings.
To note, your child may have only come out to you and not other family members. So, make sure not to out them. Don’t talk about your child’s gender identity unless they are leading the conversation themselves.
How can I support my transgender child at home when some family members are not affirming?
It’s important to always discourage bullying, harassment, and discrimination in a family setting. Do not let siblings bully your child even if you chalk it up to sibling bickering. Essentially, always make a point to step in to help your adolescent feel safe in your home and in community settings. As a parent, wear a rainbow pride shirt. Or, put a rainbow flag on your flag role outside your house. Essentially, these may seem like small acts, but can go far. Also, connect them to resources such as finding a LGBTQIA+, transgender mentor near Mystic, Connecticut.
What is a sexual orientation in LGBTQIA+ counseling?
For one, sexual orientation is all about who you are attracted to. Research has shown that it is a spectrum. Sometimes, a person is attracted exclusively to someone of the same gender. Other times, people use different labels like bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, homosexual, and more.
When does sexual orientation develop?
Often times, feelings around sexual orientation will begin to develop in puberty. Some children develop these feelings younger. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling help preschoolers all the way up to 85 year olds. Gender is evolving across your whole lifespan. As well, at Wisdom Within Counseling near Mystic, Connecticut, you can pick from art therapies and yoga therapies. As well, creative, music therapies, and walking therapies by the beach support confidence and clarity.
To start, click the button below to book a phone consult to learn more about gender counseling.
How does a person know if they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or pansexual?
Everyone experiences their a sexual orientation in a different way. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help people feel empowered after facing discrimination. At your core, you know who you are attracted to. And, these feelings may even start in middle school or high school for some. Sometimes, people do not get to date until college or young adulthood. Notably, people who are celibate or don’t have sex still have a sexual orientation. However, they may just not be acting upon it or behaving in a way that expresses their sexual orientation.
Why do some children come out at age 10 and other people never come out?
Sometimes, people who are gay, never come out due to family rejection fears. Some who are bisexual, never get a chance to come out because they grow up and live in a religiously oppressive society. In an oppressive society, they never feel like they would be accepted if they came out. Their family may exile them and never speak to them again if they were out and gay. It is very sad to live like this. At Wisdom Within Counseling near Mystic, Connecticut, you can feel confident and expressive being your authentic self.
Wisdom Within Counseling can be a safe place for LGBTQIA+ exploration.
Children know from a young age that they will or will not be excepted by their family.
For instance, a child is bisexual in the closet, and a parent is driving by a street and criticizes a rainbow sidewalk. Unknowingly, the adolescent has internalized shame making it even more difficult for them to come out. The parent has made a negative comment about rainbow pride, but never knew the impact. If a parent has a very different political viewpoint, this can make it very challenging for their transgender child to come to them or feel safe talking to them. Overall, meeting with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help families share LGBTQIA+ affirming values.
Positive parenting tips
To note, this may also impact other areas. A transgender teenager may not want to talk to a parent at all and distance themselves dramatically. So, feeling rejection about sexual orientation or sexual identity can leave lingering hurt. Questioning feelings are okay too. Essentially, it is okay for your child or for you to say, “I am questioning, exploring, experimenting, or fluid in my sexuality.”
Sometimes, people don’t even like labels at all. You can ask yourself, “Who do I feel attracted to? How do I know I like them?” It’s the same for bisexual people. Overall, you just trust your gut. At Wisdom Within Counseling, our team of therapists would love to help you thrive.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for positive coping tools and queer affirming therapy.
Is being homosexual a mental disorder?
No, homosexuality is far from a mental disorder. Homosexuality simply means that someone is attracted to the same gender. People who are homosexual can live happy, healthy, and confident lives. However, homosexuality has gotten associated with negative components and mental illness. At Wisdom Within Counseling, the team of therapists support homosexual people and embrace them.
What is homophobia?
Unfortunately, homophobia is a very real thing. And, it is the worst when family members are homophobic of another family member. In queer and trans counseling, you will learn that homosexual and heterosexual behavior is acceptable. But, some people think that homosexuality is unacceptable.
As well, people who are brought up in very heavy religious viewpoints and with homophobia make deep efforts to change other peoples sexual orientations.
Someone cannot change their sexual orientation just by thinking about it just like you couldn’t change yours. It is important to know that conversion therapy is very damaging, homophobia, and traumatic as well as ineffective.
Conversion therapy is a form of abuse and violate human rights.
Everyone is entitled to their own sexual orientation, with homosexuality being part of the menu. It is very important to know that it is impossible to force someone to change their sexual orientation, specifically through conversion therapy. If you are looking for a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut, Wisdom Within Counseling can help you out here.
Conversation therapy is a form of homophobia.
Instead, at Wisdom Within Counseling, we focus on LGBTQIA+ affirming therapies that help a person accept themselves and feel accepted. With homophobia, there is so much discrimination and prejudice around sexual orientation and homosexuality that is unnecessary. Homophobia creates cultural shame that counseling in East Lyme, Connecticut can help to change.
To start, click the button below to book a phone consult to learn more about holistic, gender counseling.
What does the word queer mean?
Decades ago, queer was negative. Someone who was called queer was ostracized and an outcast due to cultural homophobia and oppressive government policies. In the early 1980s, a lot of people who were gay, bisexual, and transgender died of AIDS, which was associated with a queer lifestyle. Unfortunately, this association was not helpful and instead there is widespread violence, homophobia, and cultural shame as a result. Now, people are using the word queer in a very positive way.
Queer is positive
These days, if someone identifies as queer, you can use it in a sentence back to them to ask them more about what that means. As well, people who are queer might use it as an umbrella term for being gay, being gender fluid, or simply being part of the LGBT community. People who identify as queer and nowadays feel a sense of shared community and empowerment from past systemic victimization related to human rights. Tv shows using the word queer like “Queer Eye,” have come out. These LGBTQIA+ affirming tv shows create more positive energy amongst gay man, gender expressive, bisexual people, and overall the LGBTQ community.
Recap Notes
You can call someone queer if they have already used it to identify. However, it is still not okay to call someone queer if they have not used it themselves. Notably, this could come off as a slur or a derogatory statement. Only use the word queer if someone has already identified with it in their own conversation. Families often end up in high conflict fights with anger and yelling around LGBTQIA+ topics. With out support, LGBTQIA+ issues tend to push family members apart. Wisdom Within Counseling is a group of non binary, queer and trans therapy specialists in Connecticut.
Parents may need help from an LGBTQIA+ therapist to understand their own limiting beliefs around their religious views that cause distance.
As well, with the support of working with an LGBTQIA+ gender specialist near Mystic, Connecticut, families can develop shared values, trust, and love. In holistic counseling, you and your family can pick from creative art therapies, drama therapies, yoga, music, and walking therapies. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling near Mystic, Connecticut can help you build LGBTQIA+ confidence around your gender identity.
To start, click the button below to book a phone consult to learn more about working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut.
What not to do about sexual orientation feelings?
Remember, do not use any terms like “fag.” It is abusive, derogatory, and unacceptable language. Often times, people who are using these terms are actually encouraging bullying, harassment, and discrimination without realizing it. Using a term like this creates teasing and makes others think teasing is OK. Make a point to call anyone else that is bullying your child or any member of your family. When you see an LGBTQ character on TV or in a show, do not criticize them or make fun of them. Instead, promote LGBTQIA+ respect.
If you don’t have an answer, work with LGBTQIA+ therapist such as one of us a Wisdom Within Counseling.
We can help you get answers to questions and develop a sense of inner clarity around your gender, sexuality or sexual orientation. As well, children and teenagers need a safe place to expressed curiosity around gender and sexuality. From working with a therapist, you can learn about yourself and learn to live a more authentic life. No topic should be too tough to talk about.
However, if as a parent you feel that gender and sexuality are really challenging, scary, or unfamiliar, doing so in a family counseling session can be really helpful.
You can start to help different members of your family feel closer and connected. LGBTQIA+ counseling can help you let go of fears. Working with one of the LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help you understand yourself and who you are better.
As well, at Wisdom Within Counseling, we offer a mixture of creative therapies in addition to LGBT affirming therapy.
You can pick from art therapies, yoga therapy, music therapy, and outdoor walk and talk therapies by the beach and the Connecticut Southeastern shoreline. You can learn to overcome bullying and develop skills to cope in positive ways by working with your counselor. Your therapist can help you remember that there is nothing to be ashamed of and you can learn to love and except yourself just the way you are.
Art therapies are available when working with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut.
From using painting, gel pens, clay, acrylics, watercolors, and making vision boards, you can use art as a form of expression. You can tune in to your authentic self. And, transgender people in Southeastern Connecticut can use art and painting as a way to better understand themselves.
Yoga therapies in Southeastern Connecticut
Now, yoga therapies, yoga poses, mindfulness meditation, yoga nidra, and stretching can help you learn to live in your body. At the same time, you can move gently while getting playful in holistic counseling. For LGBTQIA+ people who have faced rejection and bullying, learning to live in your body is a new skill. After trauma, your body separates from your mind. When trauma was occurring, it was not safe to be connected to your body. So, yoga and creative therapies help your mind and body get connected again. Also, yoga and meditation can be really beneficial if you have it experienced trauma or violence. Holistic yoga therapies can help you learn to accept and respect yourself.
Drama therapies to build self-esteem and positive coping tools for anxiety
In drama therapies near Mystic, Connecticut, acting, improv, and role-play can allow you to take on different roles within your life within a play scene. Drama therapy in Southeastern Connecticut can help you try on different roles in a playful setting. As well, drama therapy and improv can help you learn to fully accept yourself just the way you are. Essentially, you use your body and mind to be flexible and playful. You can work with different emotions like feeling embarrassed or shameful in a drama therapy setting. Holistic yoga, art, and drama therapy are great mind-body therapies for healing from trauma.
Work with a non binary, queer and trans therapy specialist in Connecticut can help you build strength and self-confidence.
Overall, holistic, creative therapies help LGBTQIA+ children, teens, and couples thrive.
You can develop positive coping strategies for lifelong mental wellness.
There’s nothing wrong with you or your child if you are gender questioning or expressing your gender in a unique way. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we are trained and experts in helping clients understand differences in sexuality and who are choosing an LGBTQIA+ lifestyle. We frequently work with same-sex couples as well as people in alternative relationships.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize and have extensive education in talking with children, teens, and adults about LGBTQIA+ tolerance.
We offer LGBTQIA+ affirming and transgender affirming counseling to neighboring towns including Bethel, Bridgeport, Brookfield, Cos Cob, Danbury, Darien, Easton, Fairfield, Georgetown, Greenwich, Hawleyville, Monroe, New Canaan, New Fairfield, Newtown, Norwalk, Old Greenwich, Redding, Redding Center, Redding Ridge, Ridgefield, Riverside, Sandy Hook, Shelton, Sherman, Southport, Stamford, Stratford, Trumbull, Weston, Westport, and Wilton. As well, our team offers counseling services to Litchfield county. These towns include Bantam, Barkhamsted, Bethlehem, Bridgewater, Canaan, Colebrook, Cornwall, East Canaan, Falls Village, Gaylordsville, Goshen, Harwinton, Kent, Lakeside, Lakeville, Litchfield, Morris, New Hartford, New Milford, New Preston, Marble Dale, Norfolk, Northfield, Oakville, Pequabuck, Pine Meadow, Plymouth, Riverton, Roxbury, Salisbury, Sharon, South Kent, Taconic, Terryville, Thomaston, Torrington, Washington, Washington Depot, Watertown, West Cornwall, Winchester Center, Winsted, and Woodbury. So, video therapy is always available as a positive way to build healthy coping tools.
