Have arguments and negative experiences been building up that leave you wondering if you can have a trusting relationship again?
Where there times as a child when you felt emotional neglect and that your feelings were not valid, that play into your arguments now?
In another instance, do you feel insecure and unstable in your communication together? Have you confided in your spouse and they shared your secrets with someone else, or have they begun confiding in someone else?
When you talk, does it feel like you are in a battle field and have to protect yourself or defend yourself, and are stuck in a cycle of explaining your side? We can teach you playful, holistic tools for positive communication in marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut.
Our marriage counselors help distant couples re-build a sense of relationship security, closeness, and trust?
So, how does resentment in a marriage develop?
First, you may notice small anxieties that snowball into larger and larger issues. Sometimes, partners keep secrets from each other in a hope to keep their relationship pure, happy and good. But, these secrets create shame and guilt for the person holding onto the secret. As well, when the secret is finally shared, or found out, anger and resentment are a result. Healing from secrets is a process of healing betrayal wounds. As you grow in your marriage, your family and children will grow in healthy ways too. If you feel secrets and shame in your marriage, let our counselors help you process the past and create a brighter future.
Furthermore, couples start counseling because they want positive tools to deal with betrayal, anger, loss, and trauma when they arise.
Yes, all couples fight. But, your fights don’t have to feel so rough, heartbreaking, and frustrating. So, anytime you or your partner experience betrayal or get triggered, you can have tools to share with your spouse. As well, spouses can learn to verbally share the times when they felt neglected or betrayed as a child, and how these play into current triggers and fights.
Through creative, holistic couples therapy in Southeastern Connecticut, you can learn to share when you are feeling not so great.
We teach positive skills for “holding space,” for each other to process. Couples get stuck holding feelings in and trying to “keep the peace.” For example, when you feel frustration, resentment, or emotional hurt, you can feel confident enough to speak up about it.
To begin, click the pink button below to begin building loving, secure communication through holistic marriage therapy in Southeastern Connecticut.
What happens in the fight that causes couples to say hurtful things?
Often, couples find themselves resentful and angry because they don’t know what to say when they are angry. Frequently, anger is like an iceberg. There are many painful, intricate emotions under that your therapist can help you process and release in calm ways. And, your therapist can help you verbalize these with your spouse in ways that are constructive. As well, anger is the easiest to show, but under it are a variety of other intense emotions. In therapy, these emotions are what need to be released calmly. For some, betrayal, sadness, loss, confusion, guilt, neglect, and disappointment are under the umbrella of anger. It may feel like you or your spouse’s brain just freezes. In many cases, high conflict couples will not know how to stop having a downward, negative argument.
In the conversation, it may feel like you are trying to defend yourself or that you have to protect yourself. Let our marriage therapists and relationship specialists help you learn tools for positive communication and playful conversations.
What can a marriage counselor do to teach you about reducing resentment?
Resentment is something that builds up over time. So, through weekly marriage therapy sessions, you can learn about how the resentment came to be. And, you can learn how to keep an eye out for it developing again in your relationship future. Overall, all marriages have ups and downs. But, you deserve to feel stronger together to prepare for the down times.
To begin, click the button below and we can help you build emotional expression and empowerment skills to bring your relationship back up again.
Want couples therapy in Southeastern Connecticut to find new ways to talk and feel close when words are difficult?
In marriage therapy sessions, you can learn ways to communicate when you feel like yelling or angry. Maybe, your fights start small and you feel pushed aside or less than. Simply put, anger is much easier to express in forms like slamming doors and yelling. But, it takes weekly couples therapy practice to stay calm and clear in your communication when angry. Wisdom Within Counseling teaches couples how to share emotions in healthy, calm ways. Often, high conflict couples get stuck in a cycle of negative connection, yelling, and hurtful comments. Unfortunately, children watch and observe these patterns. So, marriage therapy in Southeastern Connecticut can help you slow down and have meaningful conversations.
Marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut
In general, all couples have a cycle to dysfunction. But, marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut can help you find positive coping tools. You may want a professional guide to help redirect conversations that are going off course. Plus, you can have an LGBTQIA+ affirming safe space to discuss your sexual orientation and gender expression. And, your holistic marriage therapist can help you build a toolbox of communication skills for loving conversations. You can talk about gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual desires.
Our marriage therapists help couples who don’t talk, quiet or start yelling in self-defense.
In general, your marriage therapist in Southeastern Connecticut, can help you and your spouse identify and verbally share triggers. To note, triggers are things your partner says that get you angry and mad in an instant. For some, it might be hearing your spouse start comparing you to your parents in a fight. At times, your emotional triggers may be feeling small and inferior or like a child around your spouse. Another trigger may be hearing your spouse call you “crazy” or “too much” and that gets your frustration level up. At times, your partner may be loving and nurturing. But, when things are not good, it is very hard to navigate these intense emotions. Over time, your marital counselor can give you techniques to improve your marriage and relationship.
We specialize with couples who have been through childhood neglect and abuse and need help reducing conflict.
All of a sudden, does it seem like they are angry or irritated? Well, in marriage therapy we look at trauma and trauma responses and the whole person. It is common for spouses to say hurtful things that trigger childhood wounds and pain. So, you and your spouse may have a history of childhood trauma that is needing to be resolved. And, that is playing into your marriage conflicts.
To begin, book a phone consult to learn about how we help frustrated couples gain playfulness, clarity, and connection.
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a speciality that is part of holistic marriage counseling.
Manytimes, partners do not want to share their childhood trauma experiences. It can be scary to share about childhood trauma. Sometimes, partners fear that it can bring a depressing energy to talk about sad times in a fun relationship. However, in holistic marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, your therapist can guide you in emotional vulnerability skills. These emotional conversations create true intimacy that level up your love life.
Specialized PTSD support within holistic marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut
From counseling, you can share what influences your emotional triggers today in your marriage. For example, say in your childhood your parents were alcoholics. And, every night, your parents would arrive home drunk and yelling. Now, in your relationship, you notice yourself drinking too much or stuck over care taking for your spouse.
Are you wanting to find healthier habits than your family had when you were growing up? Also, would you like to grow in healthy, positive ways with your spouse?
As well, sometimes you fall into old childhood patterns that are negative. Maybe, you end up taking care of your spouse like you did with your drunk, alcoholic parents. And, you have forgotten hoe to make yourself and your marriage a priority again. As a child, you were in a care taking role, and maybe, you grew up too fast. Maybe, you parents needed you to take care of them emotionally or physically.
Children who grow up with a parent with a mental health issue tend to be over care takers as adults.
As well, children who grow up with a verbally abusive or physically abusive parent may have developed people pleasing tendencies. Now, as an adult in your marriage, you feel stuck between an over care giving role and numbing out role. In counseling, you can talk about creating healthier and more balanced roles in your relationship. Overall, holistic marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut can help you gain positive balance between both these parts of yourself.
Internal Family Systems Model in Marriage and Family Therapy
As well, we offer internal family systems therapy. Internal family systems therapy helps you learn about these parts of yourself. From there, you can develop the courage to love yourself, build self-acceptance, and self-compassion. Lastly, internal family systems is a model of marriage and family therapy that helps you re-establish inner leadership. At times, parts of you began to develop to take care of others, be a people pleaser, and avoid feelings that were too much to handle at the time. At Wisdom Within Counseling, you are in a safe place to work with a therapist and truly love yourself and your relationship.
To begin, click the pink button below today to learn more about marriage counseling and building a stronger couple bubble.
From holistic marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, you can learn tools to practice sustainable self-care and reconnect with who you are and want to be.
From there, you can extend that love and acceptance to your spouse to heal, forgive, and repair on a deeply spiritual level together.
Lastly, internal family systems is a speciality offering at Wisdom Within Counseling. The therapists find combining internal family systems in marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut benefits couples greatly. Couples that learn about internal family systems learn about each other from a trauma-informed perspective. Internal family systems in marriage therapy can help distant couples talk about their parts, understand each other’s trauma histories, and heal resentment faster.
LGBTQIA+ queer affirming couples therapy speciality
At Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, our therapists specialize with gay, same sex, queer, and poly couples. We help LGBTQIA+ and same sex couples navigate aspects including coming out, adoption, finding a surrogate, and more. Our therapists specialize with transgender children and gender questioning adults. Often, adolescent and teenage boys and males will play around with cross dressing and dressing in drag. Manytimes, these behaviors go into adulthood, but are fearfully concealed.
Overall, our holistic marriage therapists provide LGBTQIA+ education and affirming language for spouses and parents of transgender loved ones.
We love working with gender and sexuality and offer LGBTQIA+ marriage counseling specialities in therapy. Maybe, you want books to help normalize the process of questioning your gender. Our therapists specialize with gender expression, gender identity, and gender fluid feelings around these topics. Whether you want to come out to your spouse as gay, bisexual, or pansexual, we can help.
From gender non conforming clothing, to coming out as bigender, to cross dressing, to having a transgender spouse, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling would love to help you and your family thrive.
When resentment decreases, your marriage counselor can help you learn skills to create and find emotional trust, closeness, and newfound connection.
At Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, we help distant couples become intentional and positive in how they go about giving love, nurturing each other, and sharing intense emotions.
