Are you a female in a relationship that feels like you have to do it all, because your spouse doesn’t?
As well, do you feel overly responsible or resentful?
Do you feel stuck in old fashioned gender roles?
In your marriage, it might feel like as a female, it is your responsibility to make sure that your spouse does what they need to do. But, you also have to think about your children. It all feels like too much for one person to handle alone. And, you feel alone in your marriage. Some days, you wonder if your spouse even cares about you. For many, gender roles can feel stagnant. And, this leads to a parent child dynamic in your romantic relationship. Often times, it might feel like you are stuck in a mother role with your spouse. In your marriage, it feels like you have become your spouse’s mother. Intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut can help you feel emotionally close and equal again.
Unfortunately, the parent child dynamic in a marriage creates dysfunction and imbalance in power.
Essentially, intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut can help you gain awareness of this dynamic. Many times, relationships become dysfunctional because the male partner tends to become helpless in a relationship. In this case, they take the child role in the marriage. For instance, a woman may seek counseling because she feels her husband is her child.
How can intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut help change the mothering role?
Often times, day-to-day responsibilities, laundry, and caregiving responsibilities and parenting fall on the female.
To add, from childhood, we are told to fit into certain gender roles. Unfortunately, the American culture does not do help with gender roles. Gender roles don’t have to be rigid. More over, boys in our culture learn to play with trucks, Legos, and video games.
What do girls play with in childhood and how does this play a role in marriage conflicts?
As children, girls and females play with baby dolls, play house, and learn to bake in their easy bake oven. Over time, girls and women feel they are responsible for more than they have to be. Many times, women don’t realize they can change this dynamic of feelings like their spouse’s mom. Essentially, in your marriage therapy experience may be the first time you get to shift and change negative gender roles. Therefore, seeking intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut supports healthy gender expression.
From childhood, our culture sets us up for failure in romantic relationships.
Often times, a female in a romantic relationship will take on the responsibility of scheduling doctors appointments for their spouse and also managing children’s extracurricular activities. On that note, this feeling of responsibility creates a low sex drive for a female.
Many times, resentment develops because a females feels like they have to be a mother to their spouse.
And, a woman feels they are doing too much. But, despite past conversations, their partner is still not helping out at all. Essentially, this is where intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut can help.
Why do females tend to become the mother in their marriage and in relationships?
As well, females tend to become the mothers to their spouses because many men don’t know how to express their emotions. Essentially, childhood teaches men that it is not okay to cry. Many times, boys are told to be tough and not cry. On the other hand, girls and females are given nurturing and gentleness boys are not given. So, marriage counseling can be the place to learn to open up. Often times, children learn that fathers are associated with yelling and anger. Unfortunately, men think they can only express anger as an emotion. As well, children learn that men associated with play and fun. On the other hand, women are associated with parenting and teaching responsibility. Intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut supports positive communication and a healthy sex life.
Unfortunately, these gender roles do not make a recipe for attraction or desire in a marriage.
If you feel stuck in gender roles or gender stereotypes, intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut can help you hear your partner and rebuild playful, sexual behaviors. Often times, as a relationship progresses in this dysfunctional way. So, in a parent child relationship dynamic, partners become more bored, distant and resentful. Often times, in this type of marriage, partners may experience a high conflict cycle.
How does intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut help reduce marriage conflicts and frustration?
Often times, as boys, men do not learn how to vocalize or voice their feelings. So, they don’t know how to express them. And, men often feel like they have to hold them inside in their marriage.
In a marriage conflict, a man may explode in anger causing confusion, fear, and insecurity in their spouse. Deep down, he may want to cry or really be feeling so sad.
Essentially, therapy helps partners learn to express emotions in healthy ways and feel support from one another. As well, because women are so emotionally exhausted from doing it all, it can be hard for a woman to emotionally nurture their husband. Essentially, intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut helps married couples learn to nurture each other again. Maybe, there have been trust issues or betrayals that are hurtful. Marriage counseling can help you talk about past moments of hurt. Many times, couples develops blocks and limitations to touch and intimacy.
What is a gentle start up?
At times, a female who has overwhelm and resentment will be very harsh or defensive in how she talks to her partner. Right now, it might be hard to be gentle or nice with the intense emotions you are feeling. Unfortunately, this is because a female is feeling helpless and burn out.
Often, women who feel like they are in a mothering role are more on edge and more anxious.
Frequently, our team of therapists offer intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut to help couples learn to talk again. With stress, women often become more easily frustrated with her spouse. Often times, many much of this cycle might be unconscious. But, intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut can help bring your conflict cycle to light light.
How can intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut help men do learn how to vocalize and voice their feelings?
Many times, men have a father who is harsh, yells, or barks orders. So, boys don’t have a role model who is emotionally open or shows positive emotion easily. Often, boys grow up learning that they need to be the tough guy. As well, many men don’t know what to do when their spouse starts crying or feels sad. So, intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut can help teach men nexts steps in how to respond.
As well, intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut helps men learn to slow down and respond verses reacting in anger.
In intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut, you can also learn about old gender roles from your childhood. As well, you can connect to how gender roles and gender stereotypes are negatively impacting your current romantic relationship.
Intimacy in marriage counseling to help you if you feel like you are stuck in care taking or mothering behaviors.
Now, it doesn’t feel good to have to tell your spouse what to do. And, it doesn’t feel good to feel responsible for them doing what you want them to do on their own. Essentially, intimacy in marriage counseling and help you accept your past and current gender roles. Then, you can become aware of fluid gender roles and talk about goals.
As well, you can learn how to build a more positive, passionate marriage from intimacy and marriage therapy in Connecticut.
Essentially, suppressing negative feelings is no way to live in your marriage. And, living like that will only lead to separation and divorce. Marriage counseling allows you to have a safe space to build emotionally positive communication.
About The Author
The author of this article is Katie Ziskind, LMFT, RYT500, the owner of Wisdom Within Counseling. As well, Katie is a Holistic Marriage and Family Therapist, PTSD and Trauma Specialist, and Yoga Therapist. LGBTQIA+ Affirming Pronouns She/Her
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