First, the five love languages in marriage counseling include words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. But, couples run into disagreements when these are not aligned. For some couples, one person feels love through touch and the other through acts of service. Manytimes, distant couples seek counseling from reoccurring high conflict arguments, tension and distress. Let’s learn about each of these five love languages in marriage counseling!
To begin, touch is one of the five love languages in marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut.
Touch can be heavenly for some and off putting for others. Here is an example that a couple in therapy may be going through. For your spouse, they may deeply desire your touch. Or, you may be the one desiring touch and affection physically. But, after your spouse had their first child, their body may not want to be touched. So, touch as a love language becomes more challenging to get and give during certain times. Furthermore, sexual trauma history and surviving sexual abuse can lead to touch challenges.
In relationship counseling, our couples therapists specialize with touch imbalances and help married couples bond again.
Sometimes, partners feel afraid or anxious to ask for more or less touch. During couples therapy, you can safely talk about the five love languages in marriage counseling. Lastly, you can ask for what you need in a clear and calm way too. It can be hard learning to speak up. So, therapy can be that safe, playful play to share desires and needs.
Quality time is another one of the five love languages in marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut.
As well, couples who don’t get enough quality time together often end up in a high conflict cycle of fighting. On this note, scheduling time together once doing many things apart is challenging. As well, couples who don’t have enough time together end up resentful of one another. For instance, you couples therapy session in Southeastern Connecticut can be that time set aside for your marriage.
How to begin setting up quality time together?
Setting a routine of couples therapy weekly can be exactly what your marriage needs. Many times, couples start to make counseling of their marriage a priority. And, this weekly couples therapy session is that deeply needed quality time. Often, work and child care take the front seat. But, couples therapy can help you understand that your marriage needs nurturing too.
Essentially, quality time is not available when partners are working too much.
And, this leads to high intensity conflicts and distance. Sometimes, one partner feels alone and sad, or angry and resentful. So, couples therapy can be a great spot to start with a routine for time together. Therefore, if you have a need for more quality time together, relationship therapy can help your desires and needs be communicated. At times, having a therapist guide and observe your conversation can be very emotionally supportive. Let’s talk about the five love languages in holistic Southeastern Connecticut marriage counseling sessions.
Acts of service is another one of the five love languages in marriage counseling
Sometimes, acts of service can be well appreciated by partners. For one, your spouse may take out the garbage and you feel love. Or, have done the laundry over the weekend and you feel support. Maybe, your spouse changes your baby’s diaper without you asking. As a result, you feel support and love. This is a great match when love languages align. But, if you love language is touch or words of affirmation, and your spouse give service gifts, it can feel challenging to connect. So, couples end up feeling unwanted or unloved due to misalignment in love languages. In Southeastern Connecticut marriage therapy, you can learn to understand your own love language and your spouse’s. Marriage therapy can be a safe place to develop emotional vulnerability and intimacy.
Giving and receiving gifts is the fourth of the five love languages in marriage counseling in Southeastern Connecticut.
Now, this love language corresponds to a physical gift. Maybe, your spouse bought you take out food and you feel support. Or, you picked out fresh flowers on your way home for your spouse. Then, you hope they feel loved by receiving this gift. And, you felt love picking it out for them, right? But, challenges arise when one spouse brings a gift home and heads off to finish some work from the day, leaving their spouse alone with the gift. So, let’s say the other spouse deeply wanted touch and quality time after the long day of work, instead of this gift. Even though one partner brought home a gift, because there was no quality time, the gift is not meeting a true love need. And, the gift doesn’t equal love to the other spouse. In marriage, therapy in Southeastern Connecticut, your counselor can help you feel loved and supported. Often, conversations on the five love languages in holistic marriage counseling are very helpful.
Words of affirmation are the last of the five love languages in marriage counseling
To note, it may feel overwhelming thinking about words of affirmation. But, this one is easier for some than others. Mainly, resentment and anger can prevent this one. For instance, words of affirmation include compliments. Essentially, you can show appreciation by thanking your spouse and showing gratitude. Manytimes, high conflict fights in couples arise due to feeling unappreciated. At times, resentment develops due to feeling unappreciated. So, contacting a marriage therapist in Southeastern Connecticut can help you overcome high conflict fights from discrepancies in love languages. Now, there are a number of marriage counselors out there. But, not all specialize in high conflict couples and trauma bonding.
How to pick a specialist in the five love languages and marriage counseling?
Well, it might seem easier to pick a therapist because they are close or take your insurance. However, specialists don’t take insurance, but can provide you a receipt for seeking insurance reimbursement. Sometimes, couples seek online counseling because there are few the local area. As well, when picking a therapist to help you improve your marriage, ask them about to describe different approaches they use.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our team of marriage therapists specialize in pre-marital couples, distant couples, LGBTQIA+ couples, and high conflict couples.
Additionally, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling has expert and speciality couples therapy trainings. Now, while it is tempting to schedule a session with the couples counselor near you, reconsider. Overall, it may be worth traveling for longer sessions less often or even working online if you know what type of therapist you want. For instance, it may be hard to find a queer affirming or same sex couples therapist. But, you can work with a same sex, queer affirming couples therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling virtually. In general, it is more important to pick a therapist on fit and style and find someone highly skilled.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, you get to work with a marriage therapist who has extra speciality trainings and more expertise.
Why should I choose a sex positive couples therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut?
Well, sex positive therapists combine knowledge of the five love languages in marriage counseling along with sex therapy. In general, sex positive marriage therapists in Southeastern Connecticut understand that people rarely identify as completely sex positive. Sometimes, we have shame around being sexy or expressing sexually. As well, people tend to internalize societal values of shame and fear relating to sex and sexuality. Furthermore, some people grow up completely seeing sex as bad or negative. Sex positive therapy can help remove guilt, fear, and shame. either. Additionally, you may feel torn in two directions. One side of you sees sex as as enriching, nourishing, and fun. But, another side of you feels guilty, wrong, and shameful for enjoying sex.
Therefore, at Wisdom Within Counseling, sex positive marriage therapists in Southeastern Connecticut, focus on shifting away from negative, pathology-focused sexuality that solely focuses on behavior.
Instead, your couples therapist can help you move towards positive understandings of sexuality. And, with a positive, open view, you can more confidently have conversations with your children and spouse. Essentially, sex positive marriage therapists in Southeastern Connecticut help talk about sexual identities, sexual orientation, and sexual pressure. As well, you can have a safe place to discuss sexual experiences, sexual trauma, and sexual expectations.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we see sex positivity as a global movement.
Our culture makes talking about sex and sexual orientation taboo. But, the sex positive marriage therapists in Southeastern Connecticut, have education in confident sex conversations. In therapy, you can talk about gender, culture, sexism, and gender roles. As well, you can talk about sacred sexual practices of Hindu scripture from the Kama Sutra. Additionally, you can talk about oppression, sex and beliefs about sex that are culturally informed.
Why is Wisdom Within Counseling a group of sex positive marriage therapists in Southeastern Connecticut?
Unfortunately, the Western tendency is to conceptualize healthy sexuality only within narrow, “acceptable” cultural parameters. Instead, at Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, you can have a queer affirming space to talk about sex. You therapist can help teach you about gender roles and sexual norms that vary widely throughout the world, across cultures, and over time. You can think about how you find in and which cultures you want to take something from.
