Can money buy happiness and love? Nope.
Often times, society and culture tells us that we need to spend more money to show love. Therapy for teens often involves talking about graduating high school, getting a job, making money, the value of money, and how to save. When teens come into therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling, money conversations start and continue for the lifetime into adult years.
However, the best things in life aren’t physical gifts or material possessions. But, it is normal to get confused and ponder this topic. First, culture tells us to spend more, make more, buy the bigger house, get the newer car, and top model phone. Sadly, these material possessions still leave us with loneliness, sadness. And, all those feelings must be handled with compassion, self-acceptance, and positive self-talk.
Talking About Money: Therapy for Teens and Young Adults
Moreover, in therapy for teens and young adults, we talk often about what money means. Often, I ask, “Would you rather have a job you love, but make a little money, or have a job you don’t like, but make a lot of money?” More often than not, teens whoa re in therapy say, “i want a job I love and to make a little money, because I would be happy.” Instead, focus on what really matters, which is building genuine and meaningful relationships with your loved ones.
Your gift of presence can be enough.
Don’t go on social media or look at your phone when you’re around your loved ones. Often, I work with parents in parent-only sessions to remind them that they teen is watching their every move. As a parent, when you are on your phone, scrolling on social media, your teen may feel left out. Even though you teen is in therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, when they are with you and you are on your phone, they may feel like a burden, And, you teen may even act out to get your attention.
Couples: Getting present for each other can be the very best present
Likewise, in couples therapy, we talk about letting go of screens and being fully present. Read more about holistic, integrative couples therapy with art, yoga, music, and outdoor therapies, here. Give your partner a back rub and provide affectionate touch. Furthermore, rubbing your partner’s back stimulates oxytocin, a feel good chemical, in both of your brains. Oxytocin is your cuddle hormone that leaves you feeling amazing and fulfilled for hours. And, we all want to feel loved and wanted. So, the best gift you can give will be the gift of your love and attention.
Make a homemade gift that is meaningful
Also, try making something homemade such as painting or crafting project that your loved one can bring to work. Every time they look at it they will think of you and feel loved. Try painting something, woodworking, or even a homemade loaf of apple cranberry bread. And, it doesn’t have to be expensive.
Give the gift of a shared experience
Also, instead of giving physical gifts, give experiences such as theater tickets, or concert tickets. Studies have shown that experiences provide more feel good chemicals. And, experiencing a shared a memory can be talked about for years afterwards. A physical gift can often get very old quickly only a few weeks after Christmas.
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