What is intimacy therapy and marriage counseling?
To begin, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling is a type of talk therapy that helps couples overcome sexual challenges and sexual dysfunctions.
Further, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling help couples talk about sex without anger, blame, or fear. Working with an intimacy therapist can help you if you have a history of sexual assault or sexual trauma.
Intimacy therapy and marriage counseling supports couples in addressing factors that negatively impact sexual satisfaction and sexual desire.
A variety of areas from medical, to psychological, to personal, to interpersonal can play a role in sexual satisfaction. Intimacy therapy and marriage counseling helps partners understand sexual response, female anatomy, sexual pleasure, orgasm, sexual communication and the importance of stimulating the female clitoris.
To add, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling support gaining confidence and healthy communication skills around sex.
To begin, click the button below for intimacy therapy and marriage counseling with a sex specialist for a more satisfying, close, and meaningful sex life.
What happens during intimacy therapy and marriage counseling?
At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can overcome sexual insecurities and learn about increasing sexual desire in your relationship.
Intimacy therapy and marriage counseling at Wisdom Within Counseling encourages a positive relationship with sex. Often, one or both people in a relationship carry sexual shame or have sexual fears.
Your marriage therapist can provide sexual education when needed and support sexual growth. In your first counseling session, you can talk about your sexual needs and sexual goals.
Your marriage therapist can provide sexual education about female anatomy and female sexual desire.
As well, your couples therapist can give you resources and homework to work on at home. In general, couples therapy and marriage counseling gives couples struggling with sexual frustration or sexual rejection tools.
Specific intimacy therapy and marriage counseling techniques can build trust and intimacy back into your relationship.
Couples working on bettering their intimate, sexual energy benefit from homework. In your next couples therapy session, you can talk about how your sex homework went.
The purpose of intimacy therapy and marriage counseling with a sexual specialist is to help partners communicate about sexual fantasies, sexual desires, and grow together sexually.
Your sex specialist and marriage therapist will assess why sexual dysfunctions are taking place.
As well, your counselor can take into consideration issues like depression and trauma. Depression and trauma impact sexual desire and sexual health. Sexual desires may be lower when taking SSRI’s or antidepressant medications.
Your sex and marriage counselor can learn about your sexual backgrounds. If one person has had different sexual experiences in the past, partners have different expectations around sex.
As well, your sex specialist and marriage therapist can provide sex education. Our American culture misinforms many couples about what to expect from marriage.
Sexual education and overcoming sexual myths are parts of intimacy therapy and marriage counseling
For instance, the American culture creates advertisements from male insecurities about penis size. Men are told they need to have a big, long, giant penis to be a sufficient sexual partner.
Yet, from proper sexual education in intimacy therapy and marriage counseling, males can learn how little penis size matters for a positive sexual experience.
Many men do not have a giant penis and have a pleasurable sex life.
To begin, click below to book your phone consult to work with a sex specialist and marriage counselor for a long-lasting, healthy, passionate sexual connection.
Did you know that being a good lover has nothing to do with penis size?
Even a man who has a large, thick penis may not be a good lover due to lack of sexual education. Females many times need to feel wanted, free of responsibility, have a 45-90 minute foreplay, and clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Having a big penis is not the key to a healthy, satisfying sex life as pornography may make many men believe. Not many women orgasm from vaginal intercourse.
Instead of feeling insecure sexually, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling helps males gain sexual education.
As well, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling addresses shameful beliefs about sex and sexual concerns.
Talk about sexual insecurity and shame in sex and marital therapy
Many times, couples struggle to talk about sex together. You might avoid talking about sex and intimacy right now. As well, you might have a sexless marriage with no erotic playfulness.
There are fears, anxieties, insecurity and shame couples carry around sex.
Growing up with strict religious view can make couples feel ashamed for wanting sexual pleasure.
In some strict religious cultures sexual activities are only for procreation. Especially, some females carry shame for having a desire to have a healthy sex life. Exploring self-pleasure can be a part of overcoming sexual shame.
To begin, click the button below for intimacy support, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling for a more satisfying sex life.
Talking about sex in the safe space of your therapist’s office can be positive for your marriage.
Many couples have trouble talking about sex and it feels uncomfortable. Even after having sexual intercourse, couples shy away from being naked together. Shame can come up around body image issues. If you were in a past relationship that was very negative, you may carry sexual shame from that relationship with you.
The past shapes who we are. So, if you had a past sexual partner who withheld sex when they were mad, that can be a trauma that impacts your current romantic relationship. You may carry a fear that your current partner will also withhold sex and love from you when upset.
In a past relationship, if your sexual needs or desires were seen as a burden, you may be holding on to sexual shame.
As well, if a past sexual partner criticized your body shame, sexual shame may be present in current sexual experiences. Having a healthy, satisfying sex life is about self-acceptance and self-love. Every time you have another sexual experience, you may hear a critical voice in your head.
Having a negative, anxious voice in your head can prevent enjoying future sexual experiences. Some people fear they smell bad if a past sexual partner was critical about how they smelled.
Talking about sex and making it a safe topic of conversation is healing.
Your intimacy therapy and marriage counseling will help you and your partner feel comfortable talking about sex.
If you or your partner feel sexual pressure and sexual anxiety, your couples therapist may recommend sensate touch.
Sensate touch is a couples therapy skill to take the pressure off sex. A lot of couples have anxiety around making their partner orgasm. This sexual anxiety and pressure to complete a task, like intercourse, becomes cumbersome and limiting.
Couples may feel pressure to get to intercourse, which leads to sexual anxiety. Starting to feel sexy and open while thinking about intercourse is often overwhelming.
Especially for females, a slow, curious foreplay is necessary for sexual pleasure. If you feel overwhelmed by the pressure to orgasm or to make your parter orgasm, sensate focus is for you.
Women fake an orgasm in order to meet society’s expectations.
Furthermore, feeling pressure to fake an orgasm to boost your partner’s ego comes with so much anxiety. The reason many women fake orgasm is that society expects the female orgasm to signal their partner is a good lover. Yet, many partners lack the education sexually to pleasure their female partner. Society’s expectations tell women that an orgasm should be easy to reach. However, for many women, reaching an orgasm is emotionally and physically difficult.
We don’t get sex education growing up, so couples therapy is often the first time partners lean about one another.
As well, society tells a female’s partner that a female orgasming is a sign of being a perfect lover. Female sexuality is limited by society. Often, women are told by society to cook, clean, and be mothers. However, women not given permission by society to be sexually expressive or sexually confident beings.
Society treats women’s bodies as objects that only exist for the pleasure of men. And, society does not educate men on how to pleasure a female’s body to meet her needs, only his.
Also, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling helps couples gain sex education on female pleasure in playful ways.
Fears around orgasming organically in intimacy therapy and marriage counseling
Sometimes, women are afraid of facing sexual rejection and fake an orgasm. Women of all ages may be afraid that if they begin to experience the pleasure of an orgasm that they will scare their partner. Not all orgasms are the same.
Orgasming from clitoral stimulation can feel different than a vaginal, anal, or nipple orgasm. Furthermore, when a female orgasms, they make make primal noises.
Sometimes, when a female orgasms, they will be loud and audible. Other times, a orgasm can be quiet and emotional. Women may fear what their partner thinks of them as they lose control.
What happens in a female orgasm?
A female’s body may quiver, shake and muscles all over may contract.
She may make a strange or silly face when orgasming. A female may be insecure about how her partner will react if she screams or makes inarticulate sounds during an orgasm.
So, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling normalizes the female orgasm and supports a variety of types of orgasms.
To begin, click the button below for intimacy therapy and marriage counseling for a more playful, passionate sex life.
Why do females fake orgasms and how can intimacy therapy and marriage counseling with a sexuality specialist help?
As well, a female make fake an orgasm because she wants her sexual, intimate partner to stop touching her. However, society tells women they shouldn’t speak up during sex, for if they do, she could crush her male partner’s ego.
Women face sexual guilt for telling their partner they want it to feel differently. A female may feel that her partner’s touch is too heavy, too aggressive, or rough. She may fake an orgasm if the sex feels unsatisfying, boring, like an obligation, or painful.
Also, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling supports females in having a safe place to feel empowered sexually.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help female partners find their voice and share sexual needs.
Talking about pressure of touch and erogenous zones for maximum pleasure play a role in a satisfying sexual life.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, intimacy therapy and marriage counseling can help uncover what sexual education is necessary to support a healthy, organic female orgasm.
For instance, increasing the length and duration of foreplay can be helpful. Additionally, teasing sexually and edging and build female desire. Instead of this fixation on orgasming, marriage and intimacy therapists support healthy, playful conversations.
Talking about sexual pleasure and understanding female anatomy can be very positive for couples.
In general, couples therapy and marriage counseling helps couples hear one another in a safe, playful environment.
Sensate focus with a sex specialist in intimacy therapy and marriage counseling is a skill about mindfulness.
As well, sensate focus skills help intimate partners build trust and intimacy. When you notice your body being touched, there is no need to progress to an orgasm or intercourse. In a sensate touch experience, you can begin with non-sexual touching. This could be foot rubs.
Taking the focus of orgasming being the goal is key in a healthy sex life
Then, couples progress, still while reducing anxiety, to sexual touch. Still, there is no need to get to an orgasm or get to intercourse with sensate focus. Lastly, once couples feel safe and open in the first two stages, couples can progress to a third stage.
In the last stage, genital touching becomes so arousing that it leads to intercourse and penetration. Sharing yourself with your lover is about being emotionally safe and openhearted. Intimacy therapy and marriage counseling with a sex specialist supports emotional closeness and safety.
The female sexual arousal system and how it works
Often, couples come into marriage counseling for foreplay related issues. A female partner needs 45-90 minutes of foreplay to feel aroused.
Just like a male’s penis increases in circulation and blood flow, so does the female clit. To note, a female’s clit becomes engorged with blood.
The process of foreplay should take 45-90 minutes for a slow build to female arousal.
Many couples lack foreplay and adequate arousal time. As a female becomes more and more sexually aroused, she will feel more and more turned on. Her level of interest in being touched increases. The more into a sexual experience a female is, the more her vagina becomes wet.
Lubrications and sex toys can also be a healthy part of foreplay.
Additionally, a partner may wonder why their female sexual partner is not wet. A partner may think their is something wrong with them if they female partner is not aroused.
Lack of foreplay can be playing a major role in vaginal wetness. Foreplay needs to be on a man’s mind as a key element in female sexual pleasure. Well, foreplay can increase vaginal wetness.
Intimacy therapy and marriage counseling with a sex specialist can normalize the use of lubricants and sex toys.
When a male partner is aroused sexually, they often do not need much foreplay. For a female, it is essential not to skip the foreplay for a good sexual experiences.
Foreplay builds the sexual desire for a female. The female body and mind need foreplay to enter into a sexual experience be ready for sex.
Mental presence for a satisfying sex life
Additionally, being mentally in the present moment is so important for all genders of people. When a person is worried about the future, or having anxiety, sexual pleasure becomes more difficult to receive.
Couples therapy and marriage counseling can help partners gain present moment thinking skills and focus on the moment. Furthermore, mentally feeling into the present moment is the only thing that matters in a sexual experience.
Learning to be present and feel sexual pleasure are parts of intimacy therapy and marriage counseling.
How do I know if I’ve had an orgasm?
First, couples therapy and marriage counseling strive to take the focus off orgasming. The key to an orgasm is being in the present moment, without a need for an outcome. Some women report that they have never had an orgasm.
It can feel confusing for some women to know if they have orgasmed. If you have never had an orgasm as a female, couples therapy and marriage counseling can help you. Self-pleasure is essential.
Touching yourself sexually helps you know the type of touch you want and areas you like touched.
During mastrobation or self-pleasure mirrors can be used to help a female become comfortable with herself. To note, feel your own hands on your body.
Start by using an oil, like coconut oil, and massaging your body, low back, and soles of your feet. Then, progress to more sensitive, sexually arousing areas of your body, like belly, inner thighs, breasts, nipples, ect. In this process, you are not trying to achieve an orgasm.
How can self-pleasuring be helpful sexually?
Rather, you are enjoying the sensation of touch and getting confident about what you like. Self-pleasure is a way to build sexual confidence about one’s needs. Slowly, see where your mind takes you.
Try different sex toys and types of lubricant. Truly enjoy yourself. Notably, many women can reach an orgasm from clitoral stimulation.
Use your fingers to touch around your vagina and clit, near the clit area. By self-pleasuring, you are finding what feels good and pleasurable for you. Take the time to get to know yourself.
Begin to touch your clit when self-pleasuring
Apply a light pressure on your clit to start and see how that feels. As a female becomes more aroused sexually, she will feel a throbbing in her vagina area.
This pressure around her clit and vagina is due to the increase in blood flow to her clit. Again, if your mind wanders to the end goal of orgasming or worries about the future, coax it back to mindfulness of sensation.
Essentially, bringing your mind in the moment is a key to enjoying pleasure.
From enjoying sexual pleasure, an orgasm will occur in time. Take the focus off orgasming and enjoy the pleasurable sexual sensations. Watching a female partner mastrobate or pleasure herself can be an educational experience for her partner. Observing a female touch herself can teach her partner what she likes and where she likes to be touched.
Stimulation on the clit may lead to so much pleasure that an orgasm occurs
While a female continues to touch her clitoris with a vibrator or her hand, she will feel heat there. Pressure and pleasure build from feeling the sensation on her clit. As her clitoris swells with blood flow and circulation increases, she will feel more sexually aroused. She can feel her body and mind connected. Climaxing and orgasming is an overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation.
If you are a female and you struggle with orgasming, you may have a female orgasmic disorder.
Female orgasmic disorder is a recurring delay in or absence of orgasm following sexual arousal and adequate sexual stimulation. Some females who feel they have female orgasmic disorder, do not receive adequate sexual stimulation.
Your sex specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling can determine if you are receiving adequate sexual stimulation. If you feel a sense of distress or emotional difficulty orgasming, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling can help figure out whats going on.
Start with a phone consult for intimacy therapy and marriage counseling to rebuild passion, sexual playfulness, and desire.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in marital and family therapy. We love helping couples in sexual distress feel confident giving and receiving sexually.
In intimacy therapy and marriage counseling, you can talk about how depression plays a role in your sexual desires.
As well, you can gain techniques for building sexual desire and gain confidence trying sex toys and lubricants.
Couples in intimacy therapy and marriage counseling can start playing around with sexual activities they avoid, like oral sex.
The team of intimacy therapists and marriage counselors love help couples resolve conflict, rebuild sexual desire, passion, and sexual playfulness.
