What are skills for a healthy relationship and how does Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy help?
First, just like you would use your hammer or your drill to work on your house, Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy give you skills too. From marriage counseling, you get a toolbox of skills to repair after an argument went wrong. Couples can build healthy communication skills after trust issues are broken. As well, LGBTQIA+ affirming couples counseling helps couples rebuild and rekindle and improve communication as a whole. Marriage counseling supports less anger and skills to overcome conflict more quickly and more easily. Couples can learn to share intense, big feelings effectively and build the relationship they desire. Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy helps same sex and queer couples build meaningful connection.
To begin, click below for your phone consult for Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy for connection, trust, and skills for long lasting love.
What is LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy in Hartford, Connecticut?
LGBTQ couples get a safe place to talk about sexual pleasure, libido, a healthy sex life and a better relationship. At Wisdom Within Counseling, the team of therapists helps couples who are bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, polyamorous, or gay. You get a safe space to talk about your LGBTQIA+ relationship.
What is one way Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy helps reduce conflict?
Couples can understand the pursuer-distancer negative cycle.
Say you feel anxious and and pursue the your partner to talk. But, they don’t feel like talking. This can come as rejection and trigger fears of abandonment or unimportance. Furthermore, due to their own fears of confrontation or being a conflict avoider, they will naturally distance. The intensity in the pursuer may scare off the person who is the distancer. Due to childhood trauma, the distancer may have learned to avoid confrontation. As the pursuer, you might want to talk, and not know how to get your partner to listen to you. When couples have high intense emotions, it is common for one partner to ignore the other. This can lead to challenges feeling heard.
Does it feel like your intimate partner shuts you down, stops talking, walks out of the room, and they are distancing themselves?
Well, Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy helps couples notice negative patterns like this. Rather than getting sucked into the negative cycle, you can see how being the the distancer-pursuer pattern causes the intensity to build. In an unhelpful or negative way, the energy and anxiety builds. Noticing negative cycles and patterns like this one are parts of marriage counseling. Each couple has certain triggers that cause a negative cycle to start. Then, your couples therapist can give you specific strategies and skills to minimize and reduce conflict. High conflict fights and emotional fights can be due to unresolved childhood trauma.
What traits does a pursuer have?
The pursuer wants to have a conversation immediately. So, they may physically be following the distancer into another room or around the home. The pursuer’s anxiety is increasing because they feel unheard. And, as the persuer, they are trying to fix the situation the best they know how. Deep down, the pursuer deeply needs to feel loved and validated.
To begin, click below for your phone consult for Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy for connection, trust, and skills for long lasting love.
What about the distancer?
As a distancer, being pursued can lead to anxiety and fear of the conflict getting worse. The distancer may walk away physically, but this triggers the pursuer more. Additionally, distancers tend to shut down emotionally because of emotional trauma in childhood. Out of self-protection, the distancer becomes like a turtle pulling their head into the protection of a shell.
What happens for couples in this negative communication cycle?
Couples might be numbing out on their phones not knowing how to resolve conflict or get closer. As well, couples may spend hours looking on social media to try to get out of the conflict. As well, couples may need help learning healthy ways to talk about intense emotions without conflict escalating. Couples therapy is a space to talk about the emotions under anger like loss, fear, overwhelm, anxiety, or jealousy. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in helping LGBTQIA+ queer couples thrive. Understanding the pursuer distance or cycle helps you identify this negative communication pattern and stop it. Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy helps couples find alternatives and healthy communication skills.
Why do couples get into arguments in the first place and how can Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy help?
LGBTQIA+ and queer couples who are in high conflict and intense fights still get feedback from each other. Fighting and negative communication serve a very basic need. However, Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy can help shift negative communication to the positive. Couples can learn skills to create and feel loving energy rather than spew hopeless anger or hurt one another. Marriage therapy in Hartford, Connecticut helps couples feel closer and create calmness in their communication.
What is unique, creative, and holistic about Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy?
Rather than having the pursuer distance or cycle, you can start to have a more emotionally intimate cycle. Through healthy communication and through couples counseling, you can feel loved and deeply nurtured. The team of LGBTQIA+ affirming therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling would love to help you build the relationship you desire. At Wisdom Within Counseling, our team of therapists also incorporate yoga therapy, mindfulness, meditation, and art therapies for couples.
To begin, click below for your phone consult for Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy for connection, trust, and skills for long lasting love.
Offering options beyond just words, distant couples can reconnect through expressive arts.
At times, words can be limiting. Of course, you can always sit on a comfy couch and talk with your Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapist. When words are not enough or you don’t want to talk, creative, holistic therapies are supportive. Art, yoga, music, and walking therapies by the Niantic Bay boardwalk helps couples tolerate distress and reduce frustration. If you have a history of trauma and loss, holistic therapies support mind-body connections. Holistic, creative, mind body therapies support complex PTSD recovery and calm trauma responses.
From Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy, you can more clearly notice when one of your is in the pursuer phase. As well, couples counseling helps couples notice trauma responses like fight, flight or freeze. When couples get into an argument, it is common for blood pressures and heart beats per minute to rise. Essentially, in a fight, couples are struggling to stay grounded and calm. Each person is triggering the other person. The distancer needs space to process and the pursuer needs to feel close and talk.
Why work with a Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapist?
LGBTQIA+ couples face discrimination in many places including non educated therapist’s offices. Going to a therapist who does not understand or support LGBTQIA+ couples can be traumatizing itself. The world friendly place for LGBTQ children, teens, and couples. For an employer to discover an employee is part of the lGBTQIA+ community could result in them being fired. That can be a traumatic experience. If an employer finds out a person cross dresses, or wears certain make up, is attracted to the same sex, they could be fired. Wisdom Within Counseling is a space place for LGBTQIA+ couples to seek relationship therapy.
Couples may feel cultural and internal shame and guilt for identifying as gay, pansexual, bisexual, polyamorous, transgender, bigender, gender queer, gender expressive, and more.
Many times, growing up in a home where LGBTQIA+ expression was deviant or sinful is traumatic. Commonly, LGBTQ couples and people to conceal their sexual orientation, sexuality, gender expression, and gender identity from everyone. Therapy can be a safe place to be your authentic self. Parents, siblings, and friends may all not understand or have too many questions to answer. Growing up in a home with religious grounds or other bias towards LGBTQIA+ people is traumatizing. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in supporting all LGBTQIA+ couples.
Instead of feeling triggers in flight, fight, or freeze and feeling trapped, you can learn to ground and center yourself before talking.
To note, being in fight, flight or freeze is not the best place to have intimate conversations. Being in a trauma state is actually one of the worst mindsets and body experiences you can be in to talk. You can learn mind-body, holistic grounding skills in Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy.
Why holistic, mind-body therapies make a difference for couples?
Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy can help couples start to incorporate grounding skills to stop conflicts in their tracks. Furthermore, marriage counseling include yoga, mind body therapies, painting, art, going outside for a walking session by the beach can teach couples grounding skills. Instead of getting frustrated, couples can use a positive coping strategy to calm down. To note, couples can conclude a counseling session with a guided mindfulness meditation for inner peace. All of these things that couples therapy can teach to help couples feel more calm.
To begin, click below for your phone consult for Hartford, Connecticut LGBTQIA+ same sex, gay, queer, transgender affirming marriage therapy.
From marriage counseling in Hartford, Connecticut, couples feel more safe sharing emotions that make conflicts challenging.
Couples counseling can be a safe palce to talk about big, intense emotions. You can start to notice these patterns and be like, “Hey, that’s the pattern, here it is, here it comes,” versus being so right in the intensity of it. Self-awareness comes from counseling.
Wisdom Within Counseling in Hartford, Connecticut would love to help you resolve conflict, and overall bring more playfulness through.
Holistic couples counseling can help you talk about trauma from childhood into your relationship. Flashbacks from trauma, surviving sexual or verbal abuse, living with a narcissist, can more are traumatic events.
After childhood sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, you or your partner may have PTSD flashbacks.
PTSD leads to anger and conflicts that don’t end well in an intimate relationship that couples therapy can help remedy.
When childhood trauma gets re-triggered by additional trauma events, this is complex PTSD. In adulthood, a high conflict argument can be an additional trauma that brings back memories of experiencing domestic violence as a child. Having a verbally abusive, critical parent in childhood can mean you are more sensitive to loud yelling. You or your spouse can use couples counseling sessions to talk about managing complex-PTSD symptoms. Often, couples get into arguments because one or both are reliving a past traumatic experience.
What are complex post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms?
They are not aware they, themselves, or their spouse is in flight, fight, or freeze responses. After a traumatic event, your spouse may seem on edge, angry, tense, and disassociate. Couples where one or both people have a history of PTSD need help from marriage therapy to build trauma coping tools. A person with complex PTSD can have nightmares or PTSD flashbacks. They have begin avoiding certain situations or environments due to fears of something bad happening.
To begin, click below for your phone consult for Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy for emotional connection, healthy communication, and C-PTSD skills for long lasting love.
Trauma can be living with someone who is manipulative and controlling
Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy, Connecticut can help adults figure out where anger is coming from. Commonly, in childhood, you may have lived with a manipulative and controlling parent. Living with an adult who had alcoholism or drug problems can be traumatic too. Witnessing a traumatic event, even if it does not happen to you directly, can cause PTSD in adult years.
A romantic relationship fight can lead to PTSD memories being re-triggered and resurfacing.
When PTSD memories resurface in a romantic relationship as anger, irritation, mood swings, and sadness. Having a sibling who is anger, alcoholism or drug problems can cause PTSD in childhood. Watching a parent or caregiver blow up and get furious and enduring verbal abuse can lead to PTSD. You may have felt torn between parents in a messy divorce in your adolescent or young adult years. Maybe, you felt pressured to so something you felt you should, like pick one parent’s side. Being torn emotionally in a divorce as a young child leaves a lasting impact when it comes to marital topics like commitment, pregnancy, parenting, and trust.
Low self-worth is common with complex PTSD
At one time, a victim of trauma has no voice. There was a sense of being helpless and powerless when undergoing sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. So, a person living with complex PTSD may feel low in self-worth or question if they deserve love. With complex PTSD, a person lives in hyper arousal, which mind-body therapies at Wisdom Within can help with. At Wisdom Within Counseling, our team of therapists specialize in helping couples heal complex PTSD symptoms together. It is common for the body to develop pain and chronic aches after experiencing a traumatic incident. Somatic symptoms include stomach aches, headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, POTS, ehlers danlos syndrome, skin rashes, eczema, and more. As well, when you or your spouse have complex PTSD, you both may lack of emotional regulation skills.
Marriage counseling is a safe place to talk about sexual trauma and how painful memories get re-triggered by current arguments
Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy can help couples talk about how childhood trauma and sexual abuse is impact them today. Often, couples do not get a safe palce to talk about unwanted touch from the past. Intimate partners do not intend to re-trigger one another, but in a high conflict fight that happens. Therefore, couples counseling can help reduce trauma symptoms like fight, flight, and freeze. Learning about your partner’s trauma responses can help them feel emotionally safe. And, when your partners learns about what re-triggers trauma memories for you, they can love you more deeply. Plus, from marriage counseling partners can learn to talk about sexual trauma with out developing a negative self-perception.
To begin, click below for your phone consult for Hartford LGBTQIA+ queer couples therapy for connection, trust, and skills for long lasting love.
Wisdom Within Counseling gives you and your intimate partner a safe palce to build a healthy, loving marriage
In Niantic, Connecticut, you can come in the office. Our team of therapists also offer video sessions. The team of therapists love to talk with you about what’s going on in your life. Katie Ziskind is the owner of Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut. She and the team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling love helping couples thrive after complex trauma. In addition to Connecticut, we are licensed in Massachusetts and Florida. You can also work with us in person if you are in Connecticut. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling would love to help you have a creative, holistic approach to building the relationship of your dreams.
We offer counseling to couples in a trauma bond or after a traumas in childhood, or a current relationship trauma like an affair.
The Wisdom Within Counseling team loves helping distant couples who might be stuck in a fight build playfulness. Couples can build a sense of deep security through counseling. As well, LGBTQIA+ and queer couples can have a safe place to talk about triggering topics calmly. Couples often get stuck avoiding conflict. Couples can build that deep passion for one another and begin sharing values again. Katie Ziskind, and the team at Wisdom Within Counseling offer art yoga, music and outdoor sessions. Couples get a holistic creative approach to rebuilding joy and playfulness.
In person and video therapy for couples
We help children, teens, and couples in Connecticut in Bozrah, Waterford, Old Lyme, Ivoryton, Griswold, Darien, Centerbrook, Westbrook, Essex, East Lyme, Newington, Shelton, South Windsor, Granby, Franklin, Branford, Griswold, Groton, Ledyard, Suffield, Lisbon, Montville, Bristol, Stratford, Hartland, Glastonbury, Colchester, East Haddam, Hadlyme, Hamburg, Enfield, Old Saybrook, Riverside, Westport, Ridgefield, and Madison, Connecticut.
Online and in person in Niantic, we help couples, children and teenagers in neighboring towns.
In other Connecticut towns, we offer video counseling in Connecticut to families in Portland, Berlin, Bethany, Bethel, Bethlehem, Milford, Kent, Bloomfield, East Hampton, Southington, Haddam, Litchfield, Simsbury, Fairfield, Cobalt, Marlborough, Cromwell, Canton, Avon, Rocky Hill, West Hartford, Clinton, Wethersfield, Middlebury, Rye, New Canaan, Cheshire, Waterbury, Guilford, Chester, Deep River, Moodus, Durham, and Middletown, Connecticut.
Distant, fighting LGBTQIA+ couples can paint, you can do creative therapies to cope with PTSD symptoms.
Emotionally expressive therapies are a form of art that reduces conflict. We also have musical instruments to play out anger. Couples can sound for anxiety when talking becomes not helpful. Expressive therapies offer a language beyond words. Also, Gottman couples therapy to really help you rebuild and overcome things like roommate syndrome. Marriage counseling helps distant, fighting couples create a sense of trust and joyful emotional and physical intimacy. We look forward to working with you here at Wisdom Within Counseling.
