Now, are you exploring an open marriage? Were you once monogamous, but now are interested in swinging, BDSM, polyamory, or kink? Are you finding that you can love and want to love multiple people? As well, are there conflicts and major communication issues you need help working through as a couple? Do you find jealousy, anxiety, and self-doubt ruining the good times? When you are new to polyamory and opening your marriage, couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can help. It is important to work with our team of ENM, open marriage and polyamory couples therapy specialists.
An open marriage is one form of consensual non-monogamy. Some people like to have casual sex and hook ups. And, other people like to have more long-term emotional connections.
Sexuality and sexual orientation are often components of opening a marriage. You may have recently realized that you’re bisexual, pansexual, or demisexual. Exploring your sexuality and wanting different sexual experiences can be a good reason to open your marriage.
Coming out as demisexual, queer, bisexual, or pansexual and wanting diverse sexual experiences can be a good reason to open your marriage.
What is demisexual?
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation, but means emotional bonding is necessary first before sexual attraction. People who identify as demisexual typically do not experience immediate or strong sexual attraction towards others based solely on physical appearance.
Instead, if you are demisexual, you tend to develop sexual feelings and attraction only after forming a deep emotional connection or bond with someone.
In essence, demisexual individuals require a strong emotional or intellectual connection with a person before they can experience sexual attraction. If you are demisexual, this connection is a fundamental component of your overall sexual orientation.
This orientation can be distinct from asexuality, where individuals may not experience sexual attraction at all. And, it is different from other sexual orientations such as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual, where attraction may be based on physical or aesthetic factors alone.
Demisexual people often emphasize the importance of emotional intimacy and a strong personal connection in their relationships. To note, demisexual people may have deeper and more meaningful romantic connections.
It’s important to recognize and respect the diverse spectrum of sexual orientations, including demisexuality, to promote understanding and inclusivity within society.
Bisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by the capacity to experience romantic and/or sexual attraction both your own gender and other genders.
People who identify as bisexual are attracted to individuals of both sexes, regardless of their own gender. It’s important to note that bisexuality exists on a spectrum. And, you may have different preferences or degrees of attraction to different genders than other bisexual people.
You may experience equal attraction to all genders, while others may have varying degrees of attraction to different genders.
Bisexuality is a valid and widely recognized sexual orientation that is distinct from other orientations such as homosexuality (attraction to individuals of the same gender) and heterosexuality (attraction to individuals of a different gender).
To note, when you are bisexual, you may face unique challenges, including stereotypes and misconceptions. Counseling can help you understand and respect your orientation.
Like any other sexual orientation, bisexuality should be embraced and accepted as a natural and valid part of human diversity.
Notably, an open marriage and polyamory can give you the freedom to express your romantic and sexual attractions authentically.
What are forms and expressions of polyamory?
Polyamory is a diverse and evolving relationship style that allows for multiple forms and expressions, as it centers around consensual, ethical, and non-monogamous relationships. When you identify as demisexual, bisexual, pansexual and queer, you may want to be in an open marriage, ENM, or polyamorous relationship.
Here are some common forms and expressions of polyamory:
Hierarchical Polyamory:
In hierarchical polyamory, individuals typically have a primary partner with whom they share a deeper emotional connection or certain life responsibilities. Secondary or tertiary partners may have less involvement in the person’s life.
Hierarchies can involve clear distinctions in commitment levels, living arrangements, or decision-making power.
In a hierarchical polyamorous relationship, individuals typically have primary and secondary partners, with primary partners holding a more significant role in their lives. Primary partners may also be nesting partners, but don’t have to be.
Here’s an example to illustrate hierarchical polyamory:
Imagine a primary couple, Sarah and Alex, who have been together for several years and live together. They consider each other their primary partners and share a deep emotional connection. They have established certain rules and boundaries for their relationship, such as discussing any new potential partners before becoming romantically involved with them.
Sarah and Alex are both open to exploring romantic and sexual connections with others. But, they prioritize their commitment to each other. They each have a secondary partner.
Furthermore, Sarah’s secondary partner is Mark, and Alex’s secondary partner is Emily.
These secondary relationships are important and meaningful, but they don’t hold the same level of commitment. And, the primary couple maintains veto power over major decisions that may affect their relationship.
In this hierarchical polyamorous scenario, Sarah and Alex’s relationship serves as the foundation, and they have a clear hierarchy with their secondary partners.
They prioritize maintaining their primary relationship while also enjoying fulfilling connections with their secondary partners.
This structure allows them to explore non-monogamy while maintaining a strong sense of security and commitment to each other as primary partners.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Non-Hierarchical Polyamory:
Now, non-hierarchical polyamory rejects the concept of ranking or prioritizing relationships. All partners are considered equal, and decisions are often made collectively.
To note, this approach emphasizes the importance of individual connections and allows for greater flexibility and autonomy.
In non-hierarchical polyamory, all relationships are considered equal. And, there are no distinctions or rankings between partners.
Here’s an example to illustrate non-hierarchical polyamory:
Consider a person named Jamie who practices non-hierarchical polyamory. Jamie has multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships with several individuals. And, each relationship is valued for its uniqueness and emotional connection rather than being categorized as primary, secondary, or tertiary.
Jamie’s partners include Alex, Morgan, and Taylor, among others.
These partners have their own independent lives, relationships, and interests. Jamie doesn’t impose any restrictions on their partners’ involvement with others, and there is no veto power or hierarchy in place.
All partners are free to pursue new connections and maintain existing ones without seeking Jamie’s approval.
In this non-hierarchical polyamorous scenario, Jamie embraces the idea that each relationship is allowed to develop organically. To note, the importance of a connection isn’t determined by its place in a hierarchy.
All partners are encouraged to communicate openly, express their needs and desires, and make decisions together regarding their relationship dynamics. This approach values autonomy, individuality, and personal growth within each relationship while maintaining respect and openness among all partners involved.
Solo Polyamory:
Furthermore, solo polyamory focuses on maintaining independence and autonomy within relationships.
Individuals who practice solo polyamory may not seek primary or nesting partners. And, they prioritize their own personal growth and well-being. They form connections without traditional relationship structures.
In solo polyamory, individuals prioritize their independence and autonomy, often choosing to be financially independent and live alone.
Here’s an example to illustrate solo polyamory:
Meet Alex, a person who practices solo polyamory. Alex values their personal freedom and enjoys maintaining a variety of romantic and sexual connections without seeking a primary partner or cohabitation.
They find fulfillment in building meaningful relationships with multiple people while maintaining their own individuality and autonomy.
Alex has several romantic partners, including Casey, Jordan, and Taylor. These partners are aware of Alex’s solo polyamorous lifestyle and respect their desire for independence.
Also, Alex doesn’t engage in relationships that demand exclusivity or heavy involvement in each other’s lives. Instead, they prioritize open communication, clear boundaries, and mutual consent in all their connections.
In this solo polyamorous scenario, Alex’s relationships are characterized by their ability to flourish independently, without the need for hierarchical structures or long-term commitments.
Alex values each connection for its unique qualities and nurtures them without seeking a primary partner or becoming entangled in traditional relationship norms like cohabitation or merging finances.
Solo polyamory allows Alex to prioritize personal growth, individual happiness, and fulfilling connections with multiple partners.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Kitchen Table Polyamory:
In this form, all partners involved are comfortable with and often interact with each other, much like a family gathering around a kitchen table. Communication and harmony among all parties are central to this style.
In kitchen table polyamory, all partners involved in a polyamorous network are comfortable with and often interact with each other. Kitchen table polyamory creates a sense of family or community.
Here’s an example to illustrate kitchen table polyamory:
Imagine a polyamorous group consisting of Alice, Bob, Carol, and David. Alice and Bob are married, while Carol is in a long-term relationship with David. In this arrangement, all four individuals practice kitchen table polyamory.
They frequently come together for group gatherings, whether it’s a casual dinner, game night, or simply hanging out. These gatherings provide an opportunity for everyone to connect, build friendships, and share their experiences.
Alice, for example, enjoys cooking for the group, and they often have dinner parties at their home, hence the term “kitchen table.”
As well, Alice and Bob’s relationship is considered primary. But, they ensure that Carol and David feel integrated and valued within their social circle. They all communicate openly and honestly about their feelings, needs, and boundaries, fostering a sense of unity and harmony within the group.
In this kitchen table polyamorous scenario, the focus is on creating a sense of extended family and community among all partners. Everyone involved shares a degree of emotional intimacy and connection. This allows for open communication and mutual support. To note, this style of polyamory emphasizes the importance of inclusivity, emotional bonding, and close-knit relationships among all members of the network.
Polyfidelity:
In general, polyfidelity involves a closed group of people who are all romantically and sexually involved with one another. It resembles monogamy in the sense that all members are exclusive to the group, but it extends beyond two people.
No one dates outside the group.
Here’s an example of polyfidelity:
Imagine a polyfidelitous triad consisting of Anna, Ben, and Chris. They have formed a committed and exclusive relationship, and all three partners are romantically and sexually involved only with each other. They share their lives together, including living arrangements, finances, and emotional support.
Anna, Ben, and Chris have agreed to be monogamous within their group, meaning they are not open to pursuing relationships with individuals outside of their triad. They view their relationship as a closed unit and have established clear boundaries and expectations for their fidelity to one another.
This polyfidelitous arrangement resembles traditional monogamy in the sense that the three partners are only romantically and sexually involved with each other. But, it deviates from monogamy in that it involves multiple people in a committed and exclusive relationship.
Polyfidelity emphasizes loyalty, trust, and exclusivity within the defined group of partners. It’s important to note that polyfidelity can take on various forms, including larger groups beyond triads, depending on the preferences and agreements of the individuals involved.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Swinging:
While not always considered a form of polyamory, swinging is a consensual non-monogamous practice where couples engage in sexual activities with others. Swinging primarily focuses on the sexual aspect of relationships and may not involve romantic connections outside the primary partnership.
Relationship Anarchy:
Relationship anarchists reject traditional labels and hierarchies, emphasizing the importance of personal autonomy and the fluidity of connections. They create relationships based on individual desires and needs without predefined roles.
Here’s an example to illustrate relationship anarchy in polyamory:
Meet Alex, a person who practices relationship anarchy. Alex believes that all relationships should be defined by the unique connection and compatibility between individuals rather than conforming to societal expectations or predefined relationship structures.
Alex has several close connections in their life, including romantic, sexual, and platonic relationships. Among these connections are Chris, Jamie, and Taylor. Instead of categorizing these relationships as primary, secondary, or tertiary, Alex allows each one to develop organically, based on the needs and desires of both parties.
For instance, Alex has a deep romantic and emotional connection with Chris, but they don’t live together or share any specific life responsibilities. With Jamie, they have a sexual connection and enjoy spending time together but don’t adhere to any traditional relationship roles. Taylor, on the other hand, is a close platonic friend with whom they share emotional intimacy.
In this relationship anarchy scenario, Alex prioritizes individual autonomy, open communication, and mutual consent in all their connections. They reject societal norms and expectations that might dictate how these relationships should look and instead celebrate the uniqueness and authenticity of each connection.
Relationship anarchy allows Alex to honor their personal values and desires, creating meaningful connections with others without imposing predefined structures or hierarchies.
Polyamorous Hierarchies and Networks:
Some polyamorous individuals or groups create intricate relationship structures, combining elements of hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory. These networks can include multiple primary partnerships, nested hierarchies, and interconnected relationships.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Long-Distance Polyamory:
When partners live in different locations, long-distance polyamory allows for multiple romantic connections across distances. Communication and trust play a significant role in maintaining these relationships.
Here’s an example to illustrate long-distance polyamory:
Meet Sarah, who practices long-distance polyamory. She lives in New York City and has two partners, Alex and Taylor. Alex lives in Los Angeles, and Taylor resides in London. Despite the physical distance, Sarah is committed to nurturing her relationships with both partners.
Sarah has an established routine for staying connected with Alex and Taylor. She schedules regular video calls, exchanges texts, and shares updates about her life. These communication channels help her maintain a sense of intimacy and closeness with both partners, even when they are miles apart.
Sarah visits Alex and Taylor whenever she can, and they make plans for occasional trips together. The time they spend together in person is cherished and adds depth to their connections. They also discuss their long-term goals and aspirations, including the possibility of living closer in the future.
In this long-distance polyamorous scenario, Sarah prioritizes open and honest communication, trust, and effective planning to maintain her romantic relationships across geographical boundaries.
Likewise, long-distance polyamory requires commitment and understanding. All partners need to have the willingness to adapt to the challenges of physical separation while maintaining emotional connections with partners in different locations.
Parallel Polyamory:
In parallel polyamory, individuals maintain separate, concurrent relationships without much interaction between their partners. This can be a way to respect the privacy and boundaries of each relationship.
Here’s an example to illustrate parallel polyamory:
Meet Alex, who practices parallel polyamory. Alex values independence and values maintaining separate, concurrent relationships without a strong desire for their partners to be deeply involved with each other. Also, Alex has two partners, Jamie and Taylor.
Alex has been dating Jamie for a while and enjoys a loving and supportive connection. They also recently started dating Taylor, who is a completely separate and independent relationship from Jamie. While Alex appreciates the uniqueness of each relationship, they do not engage in activities that involve both Jamie and Taylor simultaneously. As well, they don’t feel a strong urge to merge these two worlds.
For instance, Alex doesn’t organize group outings with Jamie and Taylor, nor do they share extensive details about one relationship with the other unless it’s relevant or important. Alex values the autonomy and individuality of each relationship and appreciates the freedom that parallel polyamory provides.
In this parallel polyamorous scenario, Alex prioritizes the ability to maintain distinct relationships with Jamie and Taylor, with minimal interaction or involvement between the two partners. Parallel polyamory allows individuals to enjoy the diversity of connections and experiences without the need for a cohesive or interconnected relationship structure.
There are many forms and expressions of polyamory demonstrate the diversity and flexibility of non-monogamous relationships.
It’s important to remember that polyamory is about consensually and ethically navigating multiple romantic and/or sexual connections while prioritizing communication, honesty, and the well-being of all parties involved. Cheating, deceit, and dishonesty can occur in ethically non-monogamous relationships as it can in monogamous ones.
The specific dynamics and structures can vary greatly from one polyamorous relationship to another.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our polyamory couples therapy specialists can help you reflect on which style is best for you. Also, you can have a safe place to talk about your unique needs and preferences, as well as those of all individuals involved.
Are you presently in an open marriage looking for polyamory couples therapy?
Maybe, you started off in a monogamous marriage. But, you recently realized you are queer, demisexual, bisexual, or pansexual. This might. be the first time you are exploring an opening marriage.
You may want to open marriage to experiment with various aspects of your sexuality. And, polyamory, with all parties consenting, can help you do so.
Perhaps, you are currently partnered, but also dating individually again. For one, building a support network of consensually non-monogamous and ethically non-monogamous people is important. In ENM relationships, some couples date together, where as some like to date individually.
Additionally, you may want to experiment with cuckolding, hot wifing, swinging, going to sex clubs. Maybe, you are dating other couples together. Counseling can help when you are needing help expressing emotions around dating other couples together. You may want a safe place to set up and renegotiate boundaries around dating separately too.
Boundaries are important too. When you live together, talking about boundaries is essential upfront. Maybe, you don’t want anyone your partner is having sex with individually back at your shared home space. Or, maybe, this doesn’t matter to you.
Perhaps, one or both of you want to have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. Maybe, dating individually has been so easy for one of you, and really hard for the other. It can be triggering emotionally to see your partner go out on all these dates while you feel like no one wants to be with you.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our team of LGBTQIA+ queer affirming couples therapists specialize in polyamory couples therapy.
Polyamory can bring up a variety of different intense emotions.
When you see your spouse with someone else, you might feel sexually aroused. It can be a turn on to see your spouse recieve pleasure in a sexual and emotional way.
Maybe, you feel happy, and compersion, for your spouse’s success and joy.
Or, you might feel jealous, insecure, or fear abandonment. You might worry that your partner will date someone, and think they are hotter. And, you may start to feel inadequate fearing your spouse’s new boyfriend or girlfriend makes more money, and they will leave you for them.
A part of you may fear that if your spouse finds someone better than you, that you will be left in the dust. It is normal to have these fears, especially when raised in a monogamous-focused society.
Couples counseling for polyamory and opening your marriage can help when you struggle with expectations and jealousy. You can push through societal and religious norms, when opening your marriage. At Wisdom Within Counseling, you get a safe place to verbalize your fears, talk about boundaries, and consent.
How can the Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory couples therapy specialists help when overcoming beliefs from a religious monogamous-focused society when being ethically non monogamous?
Overcoming beliefs from a religious, monogamous-focused society when transitioning to an ethically non-monogamous relationship can be a deeply personal and challenging journey.
It often involves help from polyamory friendly couples therapist. As well, it is a process of reconciling your new ENM relationship structure with the values and beliefs instilled by your religious upbringing.
The first step is self-reflection and education. Our Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory couples therapy specialists can help you take time to understand your own desires, needs, and motivations for pursuing ethical non-monogamy. We can recommend books and encourage you to engage with communities that support non-monogamous relationships.
This self-discovery will help you feel more confident in your choices and better equipped to communicate your needs to your partner and loved ones.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, polyamory couples therapy can support effective communication with your partners.
Open, honest, and empathetic conversations are crucial for building trust and maintaining a healthy consensually non-monogamous relationship.
Share your feelings, concerns, and boundaries openly with your partners, and encourage them to do the same. Remember that ethical non-monogamy is not about neglecting or replacing your existing relationship. Instead, it is about expanding it in a consensual and respectful way.
Essentially, engaging in respectful dialogue can help bridge gaps in understanding and provide reassurance to your partners and loved ones that your intentions are grounded in love, respect, and consent.
The ethically non-monogamous and polyamory couples therapy specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling help you feel accepted
Additionally, anticipate that not everyone in your religious or social circles will understand or accept your choice to pursue ethical non-monogamy.
It’s essential to set healthy boundaries and be prepared for potential judgment or criticism.
Counseling can offer guidance and emotional support as you navigate this new chapter in your life.
Keep in mind that personal growth and authenticity often come with challenges. But, pursuing a relationship structure that aligns with your true self and values can lead to increased happiness, fulfillment, and healthier connections with both your primary partner and additional partners.
How can polyamorous marriage counseling help when my spouse and I want to explore swinging?
At Wisdom Within Counseling, polyamorous couples therapy and marriage specialists help couples consensually explore swinging.
Counseling with our polyamory couples therapy specialists can be a valuable tool for couples who are interested in exploring swinging or any other form of consensual non-monogamy.
Here are some ways in which the team of polyamory couples therapy specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you:
Swinging requires a high level of open and honest communication between you and your partners.
If you are putting each other down, getting into fights, and yelling, swinging can intensify these conflicts. Swinging and polyamory is not a remedy to stop yelling, explosive anger, and daily criticism.
More often than not, opening your marriage and polyamory will lead to more conflicts, if conflicts are already occurring.
Your polyamory couples therapy specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling can facilitate conversations about desires, boundaries, and expectations. We can provide a safe space for both of you to express their feelings and concerns without judgment.
As well, you are welcome to invite your partners into couples therapy sessions, if you would like to all be there. You might do a couples session with your spouse one week. The next week, you might do a couples session with your boyfriend or girlfriend, to work through communication issues in that relationship.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Working with our polyamory couples therapy specialists can help you and your spouse establish clear ground rules and boundaries for ENM, opening your marriage, and swinging.
These rules can include guidelines about who you swing with, how often, and what types of activities are acceptable. For instance, you may choose to go out of town to swing or goto sex clubs on vacation.
Fears of what others will think of you and your open relationship status can appear int he beginning.
You may feel uncomfortable swinging locally out of the fear of running into a neighbor, or fellow soccer mom. Maybe, your spouse makes the dating profile on Feeld because you fear embarrassment if someone found out.
Open marriage therapy for polyamorous couples can help help you and your spouse express fears and set up boundaries. Maybe, you need help figuring out what swinging looks like for you both. Perhaps, you have found yourselves swinging consistently with another couple and are looking form a polyamorous quad.
Having conversations around exclusivity when forming a poly quad can be fun and exciting. As well, these conversations may include communication skills, boundaries, STI testing, nesting arrangements, travel plans, living spaces, responsibilities, childcare, retirement, and finances. Some polyamorous couples stumble on these topics, so counseling can help.
Your Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory couples therapy specialist can help you negotiate and agree on these rules to ensure both of you feel comfortable, safe, and secure.
Painful betrayals can occur in both polyamorous relationships and monogamous relationships.
If a boundary is broken or violated, polyamory couples therapy sessions can help you repair. At Wisdom Within Counseling, our polyamory couples therapy specialists, teach you skills to repair trust.
Even months after a betrayal or mistrust incident, panic, anxiety, suspicion, and worry can be overwhelming. To help navigate these emotions and express these anxieties in a calm way, our polyamory couples therapy specialists give you a safe place to process.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
In polyamorous relationships, just like in monogamous ones, incidents of betrayal or lying can occur.
Here’s an example of a situation involving betrayal in a polyamorous relationship:
Imagine a polyamorous triad consisting of Alice, Bob, and Carol. They have all agreed to be open and honest with each other about their other romantic relationships. Alice has been seeing a new partner, David, for a few months but has not disclosed this to Bob and Carol.
She intentionally keeps this information from them because she fears it might make them feel insecure or jealous. Alice thinks she’s protecting Bob and Carol’s feelings by keeping this relationship a secret.
In this scenario, Alice’s actions can be considered a betrayal of the trust and agreement they had within their polyamorous relationship. By keeping her relationship with David a secret, she is not upholding the principle of open and honest communication, which is essential in polyamory.
Her deception can erode trust among the members of the triad and potentially harm the emotional well-being of all involved parties.
In a healthy polyamorous relationship, transparency and communication about new romantic connections are vital to maintaining trust and ensuring that everyone’s needs and boundaries are respected.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our polyamory couples therapy specialists can help undercover the deeper purpose and root function of lying behaviors.
Then, a person can learn about themselves and stop lying.
Perhaps, lying is engrained from childhood. Maybe, you or your partner had to lie to survive a physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive childhood. Having a parent who is narcissistic, explosive, and criticizes and shames you can be very traumatic. You may have learned to lie to avoid horrible punishments and maltreatment.
Lying can also be a protective part. Counseling can be a safe place to ask that protective part why it feels the need to lie. Perhaps there was a time in the past when you were honest and were rejected, hurt, bullied, or even made fun of. So, now lying serves a purpose, to keep you safe from the harm of rejection and bullying. Being able to gain this level of self-awareness is a positive part of therapy.
Address Jealousy and Insecurity In Polyamory Couples Therapy
As well, under ENM, swinging can sometimes trigger feelings of fear, anxiety, jealousy, and insecurity.
Your polyamory affirming and educated couples counselor at Wisdom Within can help you explore the underlying causes of these emotions.
Furthermore, you and your partners can develop strategies to manage these intense emotions constructively. If you venture outside of swinging and your partner is out on an individual date, you may feel jealous while you are home alone. Your mind may be ruminating, and feears of abandonment may arise.
Your Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory open marriage therapist can also teach you techniques for building trust and strengthening your emotional connection.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Our ENM, Polyamory Couples Therapy Specialists Teach Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflicts may arise as you navigate the complexities of swinging.
To add, marital conflicts can also arise around picking another couple to swing with.
Maybe, your spouse wants to swing with another couple. But, you don’t feel comfortable with this couple. Perhaps, you feel they are too close to your inner circle, and you’re not fully out yet.
Or, you plan a date to meet up with another couple and are all excited. However, this couple doesn’t show up to the date. It can feel frustrating and even trigger self-doubt and insecurity when dates don’t show up, after conversations online have been going so well.
Perhaps, you are swinging and in the middle of having sex. Your spouse starts to feel jealous, upset, and throws the entire experience off for everyone. Your spouse may say something that triggers the other couple you are swinging with. The other couple doesn’t feel comfortable continuing the sexual experience, so you go home.
Or, you met up with another couple. But, shortly into the sexual experience, you realize they have had too much alcohol and may not be able to fully give their consent. They are slurring their words and stumbling over. Though you voice how you feel uncomfortable moving forward. This couple continues to attempt to reassure you that they are able to give consent. Ideally, you’d remove yourself form this situation, but it can get complicated when your partner wants to engage or stay longer. You feel that they are pressuring you. And, you are torn between pleasing them, your spouse and prioritizing your own safety concerns.
Your Wisdom Within Counseling ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialist can teach you effective conflict resolution techniques.
You can use these communication and conflict resolution skills to address issues that may arise within your relationship or with other swinging partners.
If you’re unsure whether swinging is the right choice for your relationship, a counselor can help you assess your motivations, desires, and the potential consequences. They can provide guidance to help you make informed decisions.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Safe Sex and Health Are Couples therapy Topics
Swinging involves sexual activity with multiple partners, which can carry health risks. Our Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory couples therapy specialists can educate you about safe sex practices. Regular health screenings are important to protect both partners’ physical well-being.
Finding Like-Minded Individuals
Our polyamory couples therapy specialists have resources and referrals to help you connect with the swinging community. Your therapist can encourage you to find events and clubs that align with your interests and help you feel confident expressing your sexuality. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we can also guide you in discussing swinging with potential partners and addressing any concerns that may arise.
Consent and Respect:
Counseling and polyamory couples therapy can reinforce the importance of enthusiastic consent. Couples can have a sage place to talk about respectful behavior within the swinging lifestyle.
It can help ensure that all parties involved are comfortable and feel respected throughout the experience.
Couples Counseling For Polyamory Provides Regular Check-Ins
Even after you’ve begun swinging, polyamory affirming marriage counseling can provide a space for regular check-ins.
Though you may be doing check-ins at home, with a trained professional, we assess how the experience is affecting your relationship and emotional well-being. Polyamory affirming marriage counseling can help you make any necessary adjustments or decisions as you continue your journey.
Remember that swinging is a consensual activity that should enhance your relationship, not replace it. Open and honest communication, respect for each other’s boundaries, and a strong emotional connection are crucial for a successful swinging experience. Counseling can be a helpful tool in navigating these complexities and ensuring a healthy and satisfying exploration of swinging for both partners.
Why work with our polyamory couples therapy specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling?
Many general therapists, and even couples therapists, are very monogamous focused.
Generally, monogamy is very normalized in our society. Many people fear identifying as polyamorous or non-monogamous based on cultural viewpoints. Having a strong, strict, and Christian religious background can make you feel like being polyamorous is bad.
You might be afraid that your parents or grandparents would reject you or ostracize you.
Though polyamory may not be normalized, working with a couples therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you feel normal and accepted. You can gain support when you work with our team of ENM specialists. As well, no one should shame you for being polyamorous.
Especially, your marriage therapist should never blame or shame you for wanting to explore and open marriage.
Movies, media, books, and music are very monogamous focused. Polyamorous people have the capacity and desire to love more than one person. For a polyamorous person, being in a monogamous relationship can lead to depression, tension, anxiety, and feels of being trapped.
Part of working with a polyamory and ethically non-monogamous affirming couples therapist is knowing that your therapist will be aware of these viewpoints.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our polyamory couples therapy specialists don’t try to force you to be monogamous, because society normalizes this.
Instead, we support you in creating amazing, loving, respectful, fulfilling, honest, and consensual polyamorous relationships.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Your Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory couples therapist understands how society functions as a whole and embraces alternative relationship structures.
It’s essential to choose a counselor who is experienced in working with couples exploring non-monogamous relationships. They should be non-judgmental, supportive, and knowledgeable about the unique challenges that can arise in these situations.
Normalizing polyamory is indeed a process that involves both learning and unlearning societal norms and expectations.
In many cultures, monogamy has long been the prevailing relationship mode. And, individuals are often raised with the idea that exclusive romantic partnerships are the ideal and only legitimate form of love and commitment.
Breaking free from this ingrained monogamous mindset can be challenging. It involves recognizing and questioning these cultural norms, and understanding that loving more than one person simultaneously is a valid and ethical choice.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our polyamory couples therapy specialists embrace the idea that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships. We don’t try to blame polyamory as the reason for conflicts, jealousy, lying, or communication problems. People in monogamous relationships struggle with all of these just the same.
Unlearning monogamous conditioning also requires a reevaluation of jealousy and possessiveness.
These emotions are often seen as natural in monogamous relationships but may be unhelpful or even detrimental in polyamorous ones.
Learning to manage and communicate about jealousy and insecurity is an essential part of making polyamory work. It involves acknowledging these feelings, understanding their origins, and finding constructive ways to address them. Our polyamory couples therapy specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling teach skills for calm, open and honest communication.
Effective communication is at the heart of successful polyamory. In polyamorous relationships, all involved must be transparent about their needs, desires, and boundaries.
This means openly discussing the terms of the relationships, setting clear boundaries, and practicing active listening to understand and meet the needs of all involved parties.
Normalizing polyamory involves not only learning to communicate your own needs, but also respecting and accommodating the needs of your partners.
This level of communication and understanding helps create a healthy and consensual framework for loving and connecting with more than one person at a time.
Working with a polyamory couples therapy specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling helps you foster a culture of good communication.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can feel reassured you’ll be helped by a professional who is affirming to and supportive of your ethically non monogamous choices. Wisdom Within Counseling is a safe place where polyamory is accepted and respected as a valid relationship choice.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
What is compersion in ENM and polyamorous relationships?
“Compersion” is a term commonly used in non-monogamous and ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationships, particularly in polyamorous contexts.
It refers to the opposite of jealousy or envy. Compersion is the positive and empathetic feeling of joy, happiness, or even satisfaction that one experiences when their partner experiences happiness, joy, or love with someone else. In essence, it’s the ability to find joy in your partner’s joy, even when that joy comes from a connection with someone other than you.
Here’s a breakdown of compersion in ENM relationships:
Emotional Well-Being:
Compersion is often seen as a sign of emotional maturity and security in one’s relationship(s). It indicates that an individual is comfortable with their partner’s ability to connect with others without feeling threatened or diminished.
Antidote to Jealousy:
Compersion can counteract feelings of jealousy or insecurity that may arise in non-monogamous relationships. Instead of reacting negatively to their partner’s other relationships, individuals experiencing compersion feel genuinely happy for their partner’s happiness.
Empathy and Love:
It’s a manifestation of empathy and love in ENM relationships. Compersion implies that you not only tolerate your partner’s connections with others but actively support and celebrate those connections because you want your partner to be fulfilled and happy.
Enhances Relationship Dynamics:
Encouraging compersion within a non-monogamous relationship can enhance the overall dynamics by promoting positive emotions and fostering a sense of unity, trust, and mutual support among all partners involved.
It’s important to note that compersion is not something that comes naturally to everyone, and it may take time and effort to cultivate in some individuals. Effective communication, trust, and a strong emotional foundation within the relationship are often necessary for compersion to flourish. Additionally, compersion doesn’t mean that negative feelings never arise in ENM relationships; rather, it is a tool for managing and navigating those emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
How can couples therapy be helpful when in a polyamorous relationship and wanting to make life decisions like moving in together, having a child, or going back to school?
Couples therapy can be highly beneficial for individuals in polyamorous relationships who are facing major life decisions, just as it can be for monogamous couples.
Here’s how it can help:
Communication:
One of the primary benefits of couples therapy is improved communication. In a polyamorous relationship, clear and effective communication is essential when making major life decisions that can impact multiple people. A therapist can facilitate open and honest discussions about each partner’s desires, concerns, and expectations regarding topics like moving in together, having a child, or pursuing further education.
Conflict Resolution:
Major life decisions often come with a degree of conflict or differing viewpoints. A therapist can provide tools and techniques for resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner. This is particularly important in polyamorous relationships, where multiple perspectives and needs need to be considered.
Boundary Setting:
In polyamorous relationships, establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial. Couples therapy can help partners clarify their individual boundaries and negotiate mutually acceptable ones, especially when the decision involves bringing new people into the dynamic, like having a child or moving in with additional partners.
Emotional Support:
Major life decisions can be emotionally charged. A therapist offers a safe and non-judgmental space where partners can express their feelings, fears, and anxieties about the choices they face. This emotional support can help reduce stress and anxiety within the relationship.
Goal Alignment:
In polyamory, it’s essential for partners to align their goals and priorities. Couples therapy can help partners explore their long-term plans and determine how their individual goals can complement or harmonize with each other’s, especially when making decisions like going back to school, which can affect the entire family.
Family Dynamics:
If the decision involves having a child, couples therapy can help partners navigate the complexities of parenting within a polyamorous structure. Discussing parenting roles, responsibilities, and expectations is crucial for a successful family dynamic.
Third-Party Perspective:
A therapist can offer an objective, third-party perspective that can help partners see the bigger picture and consider different angles of the decision. This can be particularly valuable when emotions are running high.
Ultimately, couples therapy in a polyamorous context can provide the necessary tools and support to make informed, thoughtful, and consensual decisions that benefit everyone involved. It encourages partners to work together as a team and helps create a harmonious and fulfilling polyamorous life.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Do you struggle with mental health issues personally alongside wanting an open marriage, polyamorous, or ethically non-monogamous relationship?
In addition to being in an open marriage, being polyamorous, or exploring your sexuality, you may struggle with ADHD, anxiety, and mental heath. Your own family may be challenging. And, your parents may have narcissistic personality disorder. Growing up with narcissistic or emotionally abusive parents can leave a lasting impact. You might need individual therapy to process your own childhood experiences, outside of being polyamorous and in an ENM relationship.
Individual as well as couples therapy can be helpful for creating authentic realtionships. Perhaps, you are needing both personal and relationship support.
Maybe, you feel you are struggling with pornography addiction, masturbation addiction, or other compulsive sexual behaviors. Perhaps, you want counseling to help with your impulsive sexual behaviors and compulsive sexual thoughts.
When you feel that your relationship is not in a good space, it can effect other areas of your life for sure. And, when other areas of your life, like work, are stressful, it can really negatively impact your romantic relationships.
If you can’t focus because of your ADHD, it can take a toll on your sex life and romantic connections. You may have sex and intimacy struggles as a result of personal, mental health issues.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
How to be polyamorous as a family with children and how can counseling help?
Being polyamorous as a family with children requires thoughtful communication, consideration of the children’s well-being, and careful navigation of the unique challenges that may arise. Family therapy can support guidelines for practicing polyamory as a family with children and supporting safe, loving relationships.
Honest and open communication is key and polyamory family therapy and couples counseling can help improve communication.
Depending on their age and maturity level, involve your children in age-appropriate discussions about your polyamorous relationships. Children just want to feel safe and loved. A child may ask about love, kissing, dating, and where babies come from. Be prepared to answer their questions and address their concerns honestly. “A Color Named Love,” is a great children’s book to support children with understanding polyamory.
Our polyamory couples therapy specialists can help you balance openness with privacy with your children.
Children don’t need to know all the details of your romantic relationships. And, they shouldn’t know too much, or it can stress them out. Polyamory couples counseling can be the safe place to have a good boundary. This way, you can show up to parenting refreshed and clear minded.
Family therapy can help you talk about polyamory with your children. You can learn to share what is appropriate for their age and level of understanding while respecting their boundaries and comfort levels.
The Wisdom Within Counseling polyamory couples therapy specialists help upset boundaries, support stability and the addition of new relationships.
Couples can help you set clear boundaries for your relationships that take into account the needs and comfort levels of all family members. Therapy can help ensure that any new partners are aware of these boundaries and respect them.
Balancing multiple relationships can be challenging. Effective time management is crucial to ensure you spend quality time with your children and partners.
Counseling with our polyamory friendly and educated therapists can help you create schedules and routines that prioritize family time and one-on-one time with your children.
Stability and consistency are essential for children’s well-being. Ensure that your polyamorous relationships do not disrupt the routines and stability that your children rely on for their emotional and physical security.
If you decide to introduce a new partner to your children, do so gradually and consider their comfort levels. Family therapy sessions can allow time for everyone to get to know each other at a pace that feels right for all involved.
Be prepared for your children to have a range of emotions about your polyamorous relationships. Children may like time with some of your partners over others. Each partner offers yoru child a different type of connection and love. Your partners may have experience with children, or none at all. Family therapy sessions and child therapy can offer them emotional support, reassurance, and validation of their feelings. Family counseling can help your children know that your love and care for them remain unchanged.
Counseling can help you use your polyamorous relationships as an opportunity to model healthy communication, consent, and respectful behavior for your children.
You can show your children how to navigate complex emotional situations with maturity and empathy.
Polyamory counseling can help you talk about and become aware of any legal implications related to custody arrangements, parent pick up at school, child support, and parental rights that may arise from your polyamorous relationships.
As well, polyamory family counseling sessions can encourage you to join local or online polyamory support groups. You can get connected with other polyamorous families and feel validated.
The guidance of a therapist experienced in polyamory at Wisdom Within Counseling can provide valuable insights and advice on navigating family life while practicing polyamory.
Wisdom Within Counseling offers polyamory couples therapy and ethically non-monogamy affirming therapy in Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Arkansa, Louisiana, Tennessee, North Carolina, Kansas, Kentucky, Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, Maryland, Delaware, Washington, Montana, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Indiana, Vermont, Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, New Hampshire, and Maine. We are kink, BDSM, and non-monogamy affirming, educated, and friendly therapists.
To begin, click below for a phone consult to work with our ENM, polyamory couples therapy specialists.
Where in Florida can you receive polyamorous friendly therapy?
Wisdom Within Counseling helps polyamorous, consensually non-monogamous Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville, Tampa, St. Petersburg, Fort Lauderdale, Tallahassee, Hialeah, Hollywood, Pembroke Pines, Cape Coral, Gainesville, Sarasota, Fort Myers, Naples, Clearwater, West Palm Beach, Boca Raton, Pensacola, Daytona Beach, Key West, Key Largo, Palm Bay, Lakeland, Port St. Lucie, Ocala, Homestead, Kissimmee, Melbourne, St. Augustine, Destin, and Coral Gables, Florida.
Wisdom Within Counseling supports polyamorous couples in Connecticut.
Also, Wisdom Within Counseling offers ethically non-monogamous couples therapy in Hartford, Bridgeport, New Haven, Stamford, Waterbury, Norwalk, Danbury, New Britain, West Hartford, Greenwich, Hamden, Meriden, Bristol, Manchester, West Haven, Milford, Stratford, East Hartford, Middletown, Old Saybrook, Madison, Guilford, Clinton, Wallingford, Enfield, Southington, Shelton, Norwich, Torrington, Waterford, New London, East Lyme, Colchester, Chester, Deep River, East Haddam, Fairfield, Wallingford, Mystic, Groton, Gales Ferry, Ledyard, Trumbull, Glastonbury, Naugatuck, Newington, and Cheshire, Connecticut.
Whether you are questioning your sexuality and looking to explore new sexual experiences, or already polyamorous and needing support around multiple partners, our team can support you.
Maybe, there is a kink or fetish that you’re wanting to explore. And your current partner doesn’t want to explore that with you.
Or, you may have an interest in swinging as a couple. Maybe, you are interested in building emotional connections and bonding with others in ways you haven’t found possible with monogamy.
Our team of polyamory couples therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you develop healthy communication skills to navigate ethical non-monogamy. You can learn skills to resolve conflicts and build consensual, healthy, loving, and connected relationships.
