Has your teen suddenly stopped talking to you? Maybe they used to share everything with you. Now, however, they barely tell you anything. Also, you may find that they get angry when you ask questions. It may seem like every time you try to engage, they start yelling and shut down even more. Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in helping you connect with your distant teen.
Pulling Away From Parents is A Normal Part of Development
Around age 12, it is completely normal for your child to start talking to you less. Also, you may notice that they are less interested in spending time with you. This stage of development may start a bit earlier or later for your child. However, it is completely normal! During this time, your child is starting to develop their identity. They are figuring out their likes, dislikes, interests, and hobbies. Additionally, they are starting to develop meaningful relationships.
It Can Be Hard to See Your Child Pulling Away
Even though it is normal, it can be hard to see your child talking to you less. Also, you may notice a reaction to seeing them spend more time hanging out with their friends. You may feel sad or even a little jealous.
To begin, click the button below to schedule a phone consult and get connected to one of our distant teen therapy specialists.
What Can I Do to Connect With My Distant Teen Again?
Although it is normal for your teen to become more distant, it is still important that you connect with them. Strong family connections are important for all individuals to feel safe and secure. Also, it is important to show your teen that you still care and are interested in their life.
Start With an Invitation to Share
You can try to ask a simple, open-ended question with your teen. Try asking questions like, “How was school today?” This shows your teen that you are interested in their experiences. It also allows them to share as much as they would like to with you.
Accept What They Share
No matter how much your teen shares with you, accept their answer. If they don’t share in detail, don’t continue to ask further questions. If your teen tells you their day was fine, simply say, “I’m glad to hear it.” However, if you have specific questions you’d like to ask, ask permission first. “Can I ask how your math test went?” Oftentimes, your teen will oblige and at least give you a short answer.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for counseling to help your distant teen feel comfortable connecting with you again.
Thank Your Teen When They Do Share With You
Also, it is important to let your teen know that you appreciate the moments when they do share. Let them know that you appreciate them letting you in. “Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I love getting to hear about what you’re doing in school.” Statements like this let your teen know that you care about them. Also, it lets your teen know that you respect their space.
Try Creating Time When The Whole Family Shares
It may help to create a regular time when everyone in your family shares something from their day. Maybe at dinner, everyone shares one good and one bad thing that happened to them. Alternately, you could do a one word check in. Here, everyone would use one word to share how their day went or how they are feeling. Having everyone share takes the pressure off of your teen. It lets them know that everyone cares and is interested in everyone’s life.
When Should I Be Concerned?
While it is normal for your teen to become more distant, there are some things to watch out for. If this distance is accompanied by behavioral issues at home or at school, that is cause for concern. Furthermore, take note if your teen is not talking to you about important details. For example, not telling you where they are going after school is not normal teen behavior. Finally, look for violent and aggressive reactions from your teens. It is okay if your teen gets upset or a little angry if you start asking questions about their day. However, it is not normal for your teen to become violent or overly aggressive.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for counseling for your distant teen.
Why Should I Consider Therapy for My Teen?
For most teens, therapy can be helpful. Having a neutral, third-party to talk to can be great for support and validation. Also, as teens start to navigate new and difficult situations, it is nice to have a trusted professional to teach coping skills that will last a lifetime.
It Is a Good Idea to Get Your Teen in Therapy If Their Distance Comes With Concerning Behaviors
If your teen is also showing behavioral issues, it may be time to get in touch with a therapist. Also, high levels of anxiety and difficulty focusing may present at the same time they are talking to you less. In these cases, therapy may be helpful. Working with a therapist can help your teen express their emotions in a healthy way. Additionally, your teen can learn coping skills and how to set healthy, respectful boundaries. Finally, a therapist can help you as the parent navigate this developmental stage.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for counseling to help your distant teen cope with anxiety and life transitions.
If My Teen Won’t Talk to Me, Will They Talk to a Therapist?
To a teen, parents and therapists are completely different. In therapy, we build a trusting, confidential relationship. The teen knows that unless there is reason for the therapist to be concerned for their safety, the conversation will remain confidential. This is often enough for a teen to start to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. Also, therapists are removed from the family and your teen’s life. It is someone who might see something from a different perspective. Additionally, when the therapist makes a suggestion, it isn’t mom or dad telling them what to do.
Therapy For Distant Teens and Parents in Niantic, CT
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in working with anxious and depressed teens who are navigating this new time in their lives. We also work with parents and families to understand what their teen is going through. Our therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help your teen learn to express their emotions in a healthy way. Also, your teen will learn coping skills to help them manage new and difficult situations. Our therapists work with parents as well to help them learn to communicate and connect with their teens during this time in their lives.
