Have you been married for a long time, and recently found out your husband cross dresses in feminine clothes? As well, does your husband like to wear women’s clothes and express his feminine side? Are you feeling anxious, confused, and unsure of next steps? Do you feel grief, anger, and sadness? And, are you trying to concentrate on work when you think about your husband’s cross dressing? Maybe, as a wife, you are feeling really isolated and alone, and you want professional support? And, do you feel that you can’t talk to friends or family about this sensitive, personal topic regarding gender expression? Would you like professional help learning about gender expression and gender diversity? Couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression supports confidence and clarity.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in LGBTQIA+ gender expression. We help women who have found out their husband cross dressing. To note, counseling helps you sort through the intense emotions that may be occuring.
Cross dressing counseling can help you and your husband talk openly about his feminine gender expression. Couples therapy that is LGBTQIA+ affirming can help partners create a deeper sense of trust and intimacy. Finding out your husband expresses his gender in a more feminine way can be an opportunity for more closeness. Couples can have honest conversations and gain acceptance from counseling.
LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you talk about what you are feeling with your couples therapist.
Now, you’ve found out that your husband cross dresses in female clothing. As well, you may want to talk about your emotions. And, knowing he has a feminine side, you may not know how to handle it. If you feel anxiety or worry, the team of LGBTQIA+ therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help. The couples therapists support wives in processing all their feelings. You may want to stay together, even though your husband expresses his gender in a more feminine way. As well, you may know that he is a great parent, and you want to keep you family together. But, you wonder what your young adult children will think if they find out their father cross dresses.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
You can bring your fears and anxieties to LGBTQIA+ affirming couples therapy and better understand your husband’s feminine side.
LGBTQIA+ therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling helps couples open the dialogue about feminine gender express, gender identity, and sexual orientation. Furthermore, you may wonder if cross dressing means your husband is transgender, gay, or will want to transition genders. Working with an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can support you both in cross dressing counseling to better understand feminine gender expression. Couples therapy can be a safe, confidential space to talk about the coming out process.
Parts of you might feel shocked, confused, hurt, and blindsided. All of your feelings as a spouse are normal. LGBTQIA+ affirming counseling at Wisdom Within can help you process what you are feeling. Your LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can help you use this as an opportunity to deepen your intimacy, connection, and bond in your marriage.
LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling gives you the education on gender identity and gender expression.
You may not have gotten this LGBTQIA+ education growing up.
As a child, you may have been raised in a strict, religious home. And, growing up you never learned about sexuality, sexual orientation, or gender expression. As well, being raised Christian or Catholic can have a negative influence on LGBTQIA+ expression.
Many times, strict, religious upbringings can cause children to feel rejection. Children may feel they need to hide part of them that is unacceptable.
Many boys begin cross dressing and know they like to express their gender in a more feminine way at a young age.
Often, in elementary school years, a boy will know that he likes expressing himself in a more feminine way. He may try on his mother’s high heels, make up, and bras when he is home alone.
So, instead of playing with cars and trucks, a boy may desire to put on lip stick. And, a boy may enjoy being called, “beautiful.” If a boy is gay or cross dresses, he will often avoid coming out until adulthood. When he is no longer living at home, he may come out, or not at all. A strict, religious upbringings can cause children who a gender diverse or gender fluid to feel ostracized.
Growing up with a strict, religious upbringings can cause boys to feel shame and guilt.
Boys who cross dress may keep their cross dressing behaviors a secret until adult years.
Even in adult years, there has been so much engrained shame, guilt, and anxiety. Men may still feel anxiety being gender diverse or when cross dressing. He keeps that this part of a him a secret still. A man may feel he has to keep feminine gender expression a secret out of fear of rejection. He may fear rejection from his family, friends, children, employer, or partner.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
As a child, your husband’s parents may have physically hurt and punished him after finding him wearing his mom’s high heels and make up.
Even twenty or thirty years ago, parents thought it was acceptable to beat their children. It was very common for parents to physically abuse their son to “beat the gay out of him.” This abusive mindset instills behaviors of secret keeping, because a person can’t change that fact they are gay. And, a man can’t stop himself from enjoying feminine gender expression and cross dressing in feminine clothing.
As well, your husband may have been punished by his parents for being different than the stereotypical boy. Maybe, as a boy, your husband liked pink, cooking and baking, and sewing. If your husband didn’t like trucks, cars, or typical boy things, he may have been bullied by peers. Boys learn quickly to fit in, and hide who they authentically are.
Growing up, your husband may have learned very quickly to hide these urges and desires to be seen and express himself as a beautiful woman and diva.
He may be afraid that if anyone finds out he expresses his gender in feminine ways, he may be fired from his job.
Or, if his parents and siblings find out he expresses his gender in feminine ways, he may be outcast from his family.
To add, men who express themselves in feminine ways and cross dress may live in a constant state of fear. It is common for an adult man who enjoys cross dressing to feel ashamed about cross dressing desires. As a result, he keeps his behaviors and keep it a secret from his wife. So, at Wisdom Within Counseling, couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression supports confidence.
Many men enjoy cross dressing and expressing themselves in a more feminine way.
However, due to cultural and religious shame and guilt, many men hide cross dressing behaviors. Commonly, it is not only that he doesn’t trust his wife to accept him, but he also fears rejection and divorce. As a boy, your husband may have been physically punished for cross dressing, leading to secrecy in adult years. After years of prejudice, hate crimes, and oppression, a man may feel scared and worried about future rejection. A man may choose to hide that he cross dresses in a hope to keep his family from divorcing and separating.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
He may fear his wife will leave and abandon him if she finds out he expresses himself in more feminine ways. Men who cross dress and express themselves feminine ways need encouragement to be themselves. LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can be a safe place for couples to talk. Couples can talk about gender expression, acceptance, and build and LGBTQIA+ aware family environment.
From LGBTQIA+ affirming counseling, men and their wives can gain confidence and education around cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
Couples therapy is a safe place to talk about cross dressing, more feminine gender expression, and gender identity. As well, couples can better understand influences of a strict, religious upbringings that can cause secret keeping behaviors. A mixture of individual and couples therapy sessions can help couples process emotions. And, couples therapy supports education on queer gender expression. To note, it is normal for males to express their gender in more feminine ways.
Why, as a wife, do I feel sad and anxious after finding out my husband is cross dressing?
To note, it’s normal to feel sad and anxious after finding out this news about your husband. All feelings are welcome at Wisdom Within Counseling. Additionally, you might been married, not realizing this 5, 10, or even 20 years into your marriage. You have found out new information about your husband. It will be an adjustment period. The good thing is that we are all evolving and growing every day. Learning this news that your husband is cross dressing can come off as a shock or cause sadness. To note, your own role models and religious upbringing that is influencing how you are reacting.
Couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression can offer education you never received growing up
Additionally, we receive education from our society, advertisements, and the small communities where we live.
And, you may not know any other men who cross dress. Though, thousands of men cross dress every day, and it is pretty normal. Lots of men love expressing their gender in a more feminine way. All people for that matter may identify differently and want to express their gender in different ways.
Society limits our view of gender from the start
Our society likes to put people into limiting gender boxes. For instance, girls like pink and boys like blue is one. A boy who likes pink is seen as an outcast. A girl who likes sports is seen as a tomboy. Labels are all over the place. If a person doesn’t fit into the square boxes, they are seen as an outcast by society. Know that there are lots of other husbands out there who enjoy cross dressing. Girls are told to have long hair and boys are told to have short hair to fit in.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
Men who cross dress can still have loving and happy marriages to women.
Just because your husband cross dresses it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you anymore. Couples therapy can support you in talking about your marriage and future together. Your husband can still love you deeply, while wanting to express his gender in a feminine way.
Couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression can support you in the coming out process and sharing this with others
Some husbands and wives choose to keep this between the two of them. Others, want to identify space people to share it with. You might worry or feel anxious about how to talk to your children about cross dressing. Often times, children are the most compassionate and understanding. Your child may have friends at school who are cross dressing or transgender. Also, couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression can be a safe place to discuss how you might be afraid of your child’s reaction. Reading your children’s books on cross dressing and diverse gender expression can help normalize cross dressing. There are lots of fathers out there who enjoy expressing their gender in a more feminine way and enjoy cross dressing.
What does cross dressing for men look like?
A man who cross dresses might want to grow his hair out long, wear a wig, put on dresses, or even buy pretty shoes. Some men prefer wigs over growing their hair out.
Talking to your children about LGBTQIA+ expression can allow your children to feel confident understanding gender expression. As well, you children can feel confident to express their gender in a variety of different ways. Talking about LGBTQIA+ expression at home will actually help your children become more confident in their gender identity and accepting of peers.
Marriage therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression supports open communication
You might find, that by your husband coming out, your children can feel more confident too. It’s normal to feel anxious, and cross-dressing couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression can help you feel more confident.
You can understand the meaning behind your husband’s feminine gender expression needs and desires too. You can bring up different emotions that you are experiencing in the presence of a professional therapist who specializes in feminine gender expression. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in feminine gender expression and help couples talk about what they need to feel supported and safe.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
Cross dressing counseling and couples therapy can help partners love and accept each other more deeply.
Furthermore, marriage therapy can give you space to talk about the timing of when to cross dress. Plus, partners might get into conflicts regarding what time cross dressing should occur. For instance, if you have to pick your toddler up from preschool, it might not be the best time to cross dress. Maybe, you need to come out to the preschool teachers to make them aware that you may show up in a wig, fancy shoes, and a dress, or as your masculine self.
Share anxiety and fear in couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression
The coming out process can have anxiety and fear of rejection. As a wife, you might be afraid that your husband will be seen as an outcast or scene is weird. You may have faced your own bullying in your own childhood. You know what it’s like to be marginalized and face prejudice. And, you don’t want him to be bullied by anyone. There is a protective, mama bear part of you that wants him to feel safe. And, family acceptance is so powerful. Couples therapy with a focus on LGBTQIA+, cross dressing, and feminine gender expression can help you and your husband feel more confident as a family.
By talking with your LGBTQIA+ affirming couples therapist, you can understand how to support your husband in cross dressing. In terms of timing, you might set aside certain things of the week for cross dressing. Or, there may be certain times of the day where your husband can freely cross dress. If you are keeping it between you both, instead of having neighbors over to your house during these times, you might go out to their houses. You can give your husband the privacy of your own home.
You can learn to let go of the judgment of others and embrace your husband’s feminine side in a healthy way.
Then, you can talk with your couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression at Wisdom Within Counseling about coming out to certain people in your life. You might come out to your husband’s siblings, or the principal at your child’s school.
The principal or teacher may be more relevant that family for some. There may need to be an emergency pick up from school. Your husband might be in the middle of cross dressing and need to get a sick child. Or, he may be putting on make up and one of your children needs to be picked up from school because they are sick. Coming out to the principal in advance can allow your principal to be prepared to expect your husband in feminine clothing.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
Also, you might be surprised at how accepting and understanding the world might be.
So, much of our judgment and shame is internal. We fear the reaction of others. And, couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression can help with confidence around coming out.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, our therapists specialize in couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression in males.
Many males are into feminine gender expression
Many males are into feminine gender expression, and love expressing their gender in a more feminine way. As mentioned earlier, our culture is very focused on gender stereotypes. Society and culture likes to put people into boxes. There is one box for males and one box for females. Anything that falls outside of these lines is sadly seen as alternative, strange, and non-traditional. Part of LGBTQIA+ and queer affirming couples therapy can be accepting non-traditional forms of expression as amazing and magnificent.
How can cross dressing look?
As well, cross dressing and look different for each person. Some males will purchase high heels, nylon stockings, dresses, and sparkly jackets. Other men will purchase a variety of different colored wigs to get the feeling of long hair. Some men may enjoy braiding the wigs into different hairstyles.
Other men who cross dress enjoy putting on eyeliner, mascara, blush, and eyeshadow. Some men will name themselves a feminine name for when they are cross dressing and dressing up as a female.
Preferred pronouns and a preferred name when cross dressing
For instance, a male might want to be called Tom when he is in his masculine expression side, and request to be called Betsy, when in his feminine expressive side. Your husband may want you to use female pronouns like she/her, when he is dressing up to embrace his more feminine side. Then, he might want you to use male pronouns, such as he/him, when, embracing his masculine side. Some people identify as to spirited or bi-gender, or neither.
Couples counseling can help you support your husband in cross dressing and become a team.
You might decide to go shopping at JCPenney‘s or Macy’s and pick out high heels together. Maybe, you and your husband do your make up together, or you even allow your husband to do your make up for you. It can be really fun to develop a sense of gender expression together. To note, couples therapy with a speciality of cross dressing and feminine gender expression can offer a safe space to understand the meaning behind cross dressing for your husband.
Many times, we are marginalized, have to look professional at work, and really cannot be our true selves in many places besides our home.
Let’s talk about and normalize males who enjoy feminine gender expression
Just like you might want to take your bra off after a day of work because that feels good to you, your husband might want to put a bra on after his day of work. All of these forms of gender expression are very normal and healthy. Never feel like your husband has a major mental health disorder because he is cross dressing. There is nothing wrong with cross dressing. Couples therapy with a focus on feminine gender expression for males can support couples and loving each other. Spouses can become accepting of each other just the way they are.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
We are shaped by society, culture, religion, role models, and upbringing to fit into limiting stereotypical boxes
Remember, if you didn’t grow up seeing men cross dress or dress in drag, it may just be unfamiliar to you. Think about your male role models that you’ve had in your life. Maybe, you had very stereotypical masculine minimal role models in your life. Was a man macho? Movies portray man having six pack abs, which is completely unnatural. Do you know any people in real life that you know that have six pack abs? Not very many. A lot of our gender stereotypes are built based on movies, films, social media, and even who we see. But, they are unrealistic in many ways.
There are many men that cross dressing and enjoy expressing their gender in a feminine way. You may not notice because they do so in the privacy of their own home, due to fear of rejection and social ostracism.
What can couples do today to have more LGBTQIA+, cross dressing, and queer role models and influences?
Starting to go to drag shows together can be a really fun thing. If you’ve never been to a drag show or never seen a drag queen, buy tickets today. Starting to expose yourself to LGBTQIA+ and queer role models can help you become more familiar with cross dressing. Also, going to drag shows can help you become comfortable with your husband cross dressing and drag.
Seeing other men dress up can normalize it when your husband expresses his gender in a feminine way. As well, it can be so validating to go to a drag show and see all different types of costumes, outfits, and make up. Going to a drag show can also be validating for your husband, and give him comfort that there are also other men who cross dress. Remember, having an open mind can be a great benefit of couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression. Letting go of limiting beliefs is part of marriage counseling for cross dressing and feminine gender expression for males at Wisdom Within.
Can cross dressing counseling and couples therapy help me, my husband, and my children?
Some men love to express their gender in a more feminine way. So this may give you anxiety at first as a wife, and know that this is very normal. Think of gender expression as you do what you want for lunch. Gender expression is not set in stone. Some days, you want to have an Italian sandwich for lunch and other days you want to have meatloaf. Towards the end of the week, you might want to have a spinach salad with some chicken. Every single day you want to eat different food for lunch. Eating the same thing every day would get pretty boring. Apply the same concept to gender expression for your husband, children, and for yourself.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
LGBTQIA+ couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression normalizes diversity
More so, you typically wouldn’t wear the same clothes every single day. Our gender expression kind of all day today. One day you might want to wear ankle socks, the next day, you want to wear knee-high socks, and the next day you wanna wear flip-flops. Therefore, gender expression is a spectrum and year to year, season to season, and day to day. It can change and is fluid.
Our society, though, likes to tell us that we have to fit into these rigid boxes of either being a male or a female.
Some boys growing up wishing they could’ve done ballet or art classes, but were forced to play football. As well, some boys choose to play football because they don’t want to be made fun of. In reality, a boy may fear asking their parent to do ballet. When you think about growing up, were you groomed in a certain way based on gender stereotypes? If you are a female, you were told that you are pretty. You may have been given toys like a play kitchen to cook and bake. However, you probably weren’t given toy trucks, Legos, or even encouraged to roughhouse.
When we grow up as children, we are groomed by societal stereotypes of gender without realizing it.
One study shows gender stereotypes in how people complimented babies wearing blue or pink. To note, the babies were dressed in blue were told by strangers that they look strong and handsome. When those same babies were dressed in pink, people coming up to those babies told them that they look pretty, beautiful, and cute. A lot of how we feel about our gender is based on society and culture.
Part of couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression supports breaking past these stereotypes. To add, cross dressing and gender expression counseling at Wisdom Within helps couples gain education on these limiting stereotypes. The team at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you to expand your viewpoints and become more accepting to your loved ones.
Your husband may have been wanting to express his gender in a feminine way for decades.
Often times, these behaviors start in late elementary years and an early adolescence. However, based on bullying, family rejection, and these cultural stereotypes, boys do not allow this part of themselves to be seen. Boys quickly learn that they will be made fun of on the playground if they do anything girly, especially cry. Therefore, many masculine role models, do not show emotion, do not cry, and are relatively stoic. When you think about your father, or the male role models in your life, did they talk to you about how you felt or help you process your feelings in a gentle way? Probably not.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
Many boys and men learn to masculinity means to stuff their emotions away and never develop emotional intelligence skills, the skills that are necessary for healthy relationships.
As well, in couples counseling for cross dressing and feminine gender expression, you and your husband can develop deeper emotional intimacy together. Grown men are allowed to cry and this builds intimacy. To note, the fact that your husband enjoys cross dressing can be an opportunity to develop more intimacy. As well, in marriage therapy, you and your husband can build a sense of security, honesty, and meaningful connection.
You can let go of comparing your marriage to your friend’s and others from couples counseling for cross dressing and feminine gender expression
As much as we like to think that other peoples relationships are perfect, they are not. Your husband might be into cross dressing, but your neighbor’s husband might be a raging alcoholic. And, the other neighbor’s husband may be having an affair. Everyone is going through something. To note, the fact that your husband was honest about cross dressing is a positive sign. Honesty is a sign that you have a strong marriage. And, your marriage will only get stronger from couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
Working with an LGBTQIA+ and cross dressing specialist when it comes to feminine gender expression and male gender identity can be very important.
Not all therapists specialize with men who cross stress. If you goto a therapist who doesn’t specialize, it can actually create more trauma and shame. When the therapist lacks the education to be affirming, it can be traumatic.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in transgender therapy, cross dressing, non-binary, adult, and gender expression as a whole.
More so, couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression can be a safe place to help your husband share with you what cross dressing means to him. He can talk about the value it brings to his life. And, he can share how he has been made to feel uncomfortable in his past. Furthermore, you can talk about your gender and sexual orientation. As well, couples have a safe place in couples therapy to explore various feelings around cross dressing. Working with a feminine gender expression therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you better understand the urges and desire as your husband has around cross dressing.
As a partner, you can become more happy, familiar, and confident when your husband does cross dress and wears feminine in clothing, rather than seeing it as strange, or weird.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for couples therapy for cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
A tip for being LGBTQIA+ affirming around cross dressing
Now, being affirming may look like following different hashtags on social media, getting a rainbow pride shirt, and surrounding yourself with other LGBTQIA+, and queer individuals. Having queer role models can help you realize cross dressing is very normal. Couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can be a safe place to talk about LGBTQIA identity and cross-dressing behaviors.
You can develop a safe place to talk about sex, intimacy, attraction, honesty, and build meaningful connection in your marriage.
You are not alone if as a wife, you are feeling, confused, lost, or anxious. As well, you get a couples therapist, at Wisdom Within Counseling, who specializes in transgender therapy and cross dressing.
In counseling, you can talk about gender expression and sexual orientation. You therapist can help you give the education you didn’t get growing up. Not all boys wear pants or like the color blue. And, not all girls like to wear dresses or like to cook. In marriage therapy, you can break through these gender stereotypes that society has created for us.
From there, affirming language allows our loved ones to feel accepted and cared for. Your therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can also recommend different books. Reading books allows you to gain education on cross dressing and feminine gender expression.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, couples can better understand gender identity, sexual orientation, and build a loving, long lasting marriage.
Therefore, working with a feminine gender expression therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help your husband feel valued. And, he can create balance between his roles as a father, dad, and his needs to express his gender in a feminine way.
More so, at Wisdom Within Counseling, we would love to help you and your partner develop a deeper sense of intimacy. As well, couples can process the emotions they are feeling. In general, you can talk about cross dressing with confidence. We will give you a safe place to explore gender and cross dressing.
