Are you experiencing pain during intercourse? When you have sex, do you wish it was over? Does your sex life feel out of wack? You are not alone. Many women experience painful intercourse, called dyspareunia. You can have a safe place to talk about sex and painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling. With specific sex therapy skills, sex does not have to be painful and can become enjoyable. If you experience pain during vaginal penetration and sexual intercourse, marriage counseling is a good first step. Women may experience pain during sexual intercourse, you may have recurring genital pain that occurs before, during, and even after sex. There is hope through intimacy and marriage counseling if you experience painful intercourse.
At Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, treatments for painful sex focus on the cause and improving sexual education skills.
When couples learn specific sex skills, these can help eliminate or lessen painful intercourse, which is actually a common problem. Can a sex therapist help with painful sex? Yes!
Sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can help reduce pain during intercourse through a number of new skills.
Beginning the conversation about sexual needs, removing shame and guilt around sex, and building in foreplay can be a good start. Talking about sexual needs, sexual desires, what feels good and what feels uncomfortable are keys in building a pleasurable sex life. As well, talking about painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling in Southeastern Connecticut can be liberating and deepen the meaning in your relationship.
Many times, couples do not have regular conversations on intimacy, sex, and sexual needs.
Couples can have a safe place to talk about what does and doesn’t feel good sexually. Therefore, your couples therapist can support you in having a voice in asking for what you want and need and overcoming sexual shame and guilt. Skills like lengthening foreplay and building in teasing can promote more vaginal lubrication and the time females need to feel sexually aroused. As well, when couples talk about trauma, sexual abuse, and past experiences of unwanted touch, this can promote even deeper connection. Sexual trauma experiences can contribute to painful vaginal intercourse. Anxiety can lead to pain and tightness, which is a trauma response. In this article, you can learn about the issues that contribute to painful intercourse and some things you can try today. With that said, this article is no replacement for professional marriage counseling and intimacy therapy.
To begin, click the button below to book your free phone consult for professional help overcoming painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling.
What is painful sex like?
If you experience painful vaginal intercourse, you are not alone. Right now, you might be wondering why you experience persistent pain around your vulva and vagina during, and after sexual intercourse. This pain can be sharp, dull, or intense.
Natural and additional lubricants help women from feeling chaffed, sore or rug burned after sexual playtime and sexual activities.
Some people experience friction, chafing, or a burning sensation during painful sex. In this article, we will look at reasons why general pain occurs before, during, and after vaginal penetration. Additionally, we will talk about things that you can do today to start changing up and bettering your sex life. Reaching out for help with reducing painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling is a sign of strength.
If you need the help of a professional sex and intimacy therapist, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut would love to help you.
What issues can lead to painful sex? There are many factors that contribute to painful sex!
Too little foreplay and inadequate lubrication can cause pain before, during, and after vaginal penetration
One of the first steps in addressing painful sex is to talk about foreplay. Foreplay is the time before vaginal penetration occurs that allows a female to become sexually aroused.
Essentially, think of foreplay as the time it takes to bake banana bread in the oven.
If you take your banana bread out too soon, it is not ready to eat. the banana bread will be running, in the same way a woman’s body will not be sexually aroused if there is not enough time for foreplay. If the amount of foreplay is too short or simply just not long enough, a female will not be ready for vaginal penetration. So, lengthening foreplay is a key part of overcoming painful sex.
Why do couples struggle to length foreplay and how can sex and intimacy counseling help couples overcome painful sex?
A male’s body becomes sexually aroused much more quickly. A penis owner or male may need sex education from an intimacy and sex therapist to truly understand their female partner’s needs.
Females will experience pain during sexual intercourse if their body is not sexually aroused in instances of too little foreplay. On the other hand, a penis owner or male can feel aroused and orgasm within 4-9 minutes. The typical penis owner or male can become sexually aroused and ejaculate in 7 minutes. This is where sexual education comes in from working with a sex and intimacy therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut. On the other hand, a female’s body takes 45-90 minutes to be prepared to orgasm.
A woman may experience painful sex if foreplay has not taken place for 45 to 90 minutes.
A females body needs 45 to 90 minutes of sensual massage, teasing, edging, and sexy talk. Talking dirty can be a part fo foreplay. Using organic coconut oil can be a part of foreplay. Overall, foreplay is a time to help a female feel attractive, wanted, and build attraction. Essentially, foreplay is a time to increase and power up a female’s libido and sexual desire. Now, when sexual foreplay is less than 45 to 90 minutes, women will commonly experience painful vaginal intercourse.
To begin, click the button below to book your free phone consult for professional help overcoming painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling.
What happen’s to a female’s body during foreplay? Why is it so essential for pain free intercourse?
During the 45 to 90 minutes of sexual foreplay, teasing, sexy talk, and playfulness, a female’s physical anatomy begins to change.
Her vaginal opening begins to lengthen. From feeling turned on, her vaginal opening deepens and widens, thus supporting painless vaginal penetration. However, if a females partner doesn’t understand what her body needs in order to be sexually prepared, ie, 45-90 minutes of foreplay, this can cause painful sex. Working with a sex and intimacy therapist in Southeastern Connecticut can help partners gain sex education. Supporting the sexual needs of a female will reduce pain during penetration and vaginal intercourse.
Lengthening foreplay, touching erogenous zones, and incorporating sensual massage can be a huge factor in adequate vaginal lubrication.
The females vaginal area will produce its own lubrication through the process of building desire, teasing, edging, and foreplay. If a female’s partner is rushing her, she will feel tense and anxious. Therefore, her vagina and vulva will not become as lubricated naturally.
Foreplay should be a process of adventure, suspense, and mental and physical play. If there is not enough foreplay or desire, a female’s body will not be able to produce adequate lubrication. Then, when vaginal penetration occurs, it will be painful. Lengthening foreplay can give a females body time to naturally lubricate, orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and her vaginal area will become wet.
Insufficient vaginal lubrication is one of the many reasons why a female may experience pain, burden, or chafing during vaginal intercourse.
Through sex and intimacy therapy in Southeastern Connecticut in East Lyme, a female’s partner can gain education about how to lengthen foreplay. From teasing, sexy talk, and sex education, sex becomes more enjoyable for a female.
Sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can be your safe space to build playfulness and adventure when it comes to your sex life. Notably, lengthening foreplay to promote lubrication naturally is a key in sex education for couples.
When should a female orgasm?
Yes! In order for vaginal penetration to feel good, often times, a woman will need to orgasm before hand. We are not talking about focusing on an orgasm, which can make it difficult to experience one. However, we are talking about baking the banana bread fully in the oven. In the process of 45-90 minutes of foreplay, a female may become so sexually aroused that she experiences one or multiple orgasms. Unfortunately, many women never get a change to orgasm or experience multiple orgasms because their sexual partners don’t give time to let this happen. Often, this lack of time is from lack of sex education on what a female needs to have an orgasm.
To begin, click the button below to book your free phone consult for professional help overcoming painful intercourse and building a pleasurable sex life in sex and intimacy counseling.
Should a woman have time in foreplay to orgasm before vaginal penetration or intercourse?
Many women do not orgasm through vaginal penetration. So, painful intercourse can be a result from not orgasming before vaginal penetration or sexual intercourse. Now, in the process of foreplay, a female and her partner can work to stimulate her clitoris. Clitoral stimulation is one of the common ways women will orgasm.
After orgasming, a woman’s vaginal area will become moist and were naturally lubricated because she is more sexually aroused. The more a woman’s body becomes sexually turned on and aroused, the more her vaginal area will become wet and lubricated. Also, the more she feels desired and safe, the more her body will open up sexually. Women and their partners can talk about how to overcome painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling in Southeastern Connecticut.
Clitoral stimulation and orgasming are essential for females to experience before vaginal penetration, for sex to be less painful.
Clitoral stimulation is an essential piece to supporting the female orgasm and a healthy sex life before vaginal penetration is thought of. Sex and intimacy therapy in Southeastern Connecticut can help women and their partners feel empowered around lengthening foreplay and taking the focus off vaginal penetration. Where do we fall short when it comes to female sexual pleasure and orgasming? Often in our culture, we only think about sex as intercourse and vaginal penetration. Instead, sex can be a long, tantalizing, drawn out adventure, and a passionate experience.
Working through a variety of different erogenous zones can allow a female’s body and mind to open up in a sexy, sensual and sexual way.
Because females have so much on their mind and so many responsibilities from childcare to work, it takes 45 to 90 minutes for a females body and mind to connect. The 45-90 minutes of foreplay allows a female to get into her body, feel the touch that is being given, and develop a sexy mindset. Sex and intimacy counseling in East Lyme, Connecticut at Wisdom Within allows women and their partners to become sexually expressive. You get a safe place to talk about what you need for a more sexually expressive, passionate, and sensual experience.
Rough sex can lead to pain during and after intercourse
Pornography videos don’t promote adequate foreplay needs as pornography often shows male dominated, rough sex.
Also, rough sex can lead to pain during and after intercourse. If no time has been given to foreplay, and no external lubricant as being used, it’s very common for women to have pain during vaginal intercourse. Additionally, rough sex is a contributor to pain during and after vaginal penetration. A woman’s body needs to be taken care of delicately. That’s not to say she won’t like rough sex. However, if a woman is wanting to have rough sex, that should be discussed and verbalized in a consensual manner.
Know that porn is not proper sex education and often misleads couples sexually, creating unrealistic expectations about sex
Often times, women are taught by pornography videos to simply plays their partner. Remember, pornography is like a movie. Porn stars are paid actors and actresses that a faking pleasure more than truly enjoying a romantic, sexual, and fun experience. Even though pornography is a fake experience, many people receive all the information they know about sex from pornography videos. Pornography videos can also become addictive.
To begin, click the button below to book your free phone consult for professional help building sexual desire and overcoming painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling.
How does pornography portray woman and create unrealistic expectations around female pleasure?
Unfortunately, pornography portrays women taking rough sex and not having a voice when sex feel uncomfortable. Never do you see a woman receiving 45-90 minutes of foreplay and her body being playfully prepared to orgasm. Sex and intimacy counseling at Wisdom Within in Connecticut gives women a voice to speak up when something doesn’t feel good.
If a woman feels pain during sex, but feels that she can’t speak up, this can create pain during vaginal intercourse. Couples therapy can be a great place to talk about how kinky or rough you want your sex life to be. Sometimes, rough sex can be incredibly euphoric. Other times, rough sex can be incredibly uncomfortable and painful.
Having healthy communication tools from couples counseling are very beneficial for you sex life.
Talking about roughness, touch, pressure, and what you like and don’t like are important parts of a healthy sex life. Many times, women are told by society and pornography videos that they must be responsible for making their partner happy in the bedroom. It is no woman’s responsibility to silence her own voice in order to prioritize her partner sexual needs. Instead, in New London, Connecticut, sex and intimacy therapy gives women a voice to speak up when they are experiencing pain. In the moment, it is great for couples to find a safe word that means stop.
Women and their partner’s get to talk about ways to heal from painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling in East Lyme, Connecticut
Essentially, sex and intimacy counseling helps women feel safe and comfortable ask her sexual partner to stop or to do something different. If a woman feels pressured to take and endure rough sex, this does not create a healthy, consensual romantic relationship. Sex and intimacy therapy in Mystic, Connecticut at Wisdom Within Counseling can help women overcome painful intercourse. By overcoming unrealistic expectations set by porn, having a voice in all intimate experiences, and improving communication, sex can become fun and enjoyable for women.
Having a history of sexual trauma or sexual abuse can contribute to painful intercourse
Additionally, if a female has a history of sexual trauma, rape, molestation, incest, or sexual abuse, these memories can contribute to painful intercourse. A female’s body holds on to traumatic memories, even ones from years into the past. Any sort of sexual trauma or sexual abuse can lead to pain during current sexual experiences.
If you were touched in an unwanted way, you may have sexually traumatic memories resurface during current sexual experiences. When you are trying to be intimate or sexy with your current romantic partner, these painful memories of sexual trauma and sexual abuse may resurface. A history of sexual trauma and sexual abuse can lead to pain in your physical body during intercourse.
To begin, click the button below to book your free phone consult for professional help overcoming painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling.
In East Lyme, Connecticut, sex and intimacy therapy can help women overcome painful memories of sexual trauma and sexual abuse.
Gaining confidence, positive coping tools, and self-worth skills can help women overcome past sexually abusive situations. Victims of sexual trauma may start shaking, feel frozen, fall asleep, or disassociate during sexual intercourse. Anxiety, fear, a PTSD flashback, crying, and curling up in the fetal position are all symptoms of sexual trauma.
If you have a history of sexual trauma or sexual abuse, you might find your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles become very tight during intercourse. Right before vaginal penetration, you may feel like crying or frozen in time. As well, the tightening might be a natural response that occurred during the rape, sexual trauma or sexual abuse. Learning to relax your pelvic floor muscles and relax into a consensual sexual experience can be parts of sex and intimacy therapy.
A history of unwanted touch, sexual trauma, or rape can cause anxiety and fear around sexual activities
As well, if you have a history of sexual trauma, rape, incest, or sexual abuse, you might find yourself anxious. Your mind may be giving your body signals that danger is present due to past sexual trauma experiences. During sexual activity, you may find yourself overthinking, or even feeling out of control. Your mind might be reliving a traumatic sexual memory thinking you are going to be hurt, in your current, consensual sexual experience.
Do sex therapists work with trauma?
Yes! Sex and intimacy therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize with trauma, PTSD, hyper vigilance, high anxiety, and complex trauma. Even though you are in the present moment, and you have a partner who cares about you, you might still have memories of sexual trauma surfacing.
Talking with a sex and intimacy therapist in Old Saybrook, Connecticut can help you deal with a variety of emotions related to sexual trauma. You deserve to have a healthy, consensual, and passionate sex life with the romantic partner of your choice. If you find that memories of past incest, rape, sexual trauma or sexual abuse cause you to get lost in the moment, trauma coping tools from sex and intimacy therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can help.
Trust issues and negative feelings about a partner can lead to painful intercourse
As well, trust issues can lead to painful sex. Perhaps your partner has been cheating, secret keeping, or having an affair. When a woman feels betrayed, she feels both emotional and physical pain. When her heart hurts, and her body physically may not longer respond to sexual play.
Any sort of trust issue or betrayal can lead to pain physically in your body when you want to be sexually intimate. For females, the mind, emotions, physiological aspects, and the body are all united and connected. If a female has suspicions that her partner is sneaking around or cheating, her body might give her signals of pain during sex. She may not be able to relax or enjoy herself due to emotional and physical pain from betrayal.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult to talk about female sexual pleasure and overcoming pain during sex in counseling.
What happens after betrayal and when a female is hurting?
It might be difficult for her to be mentally calm, peaceful, or relax during vaginal penetration if she is afraid that her partner is cheating. Any anxiety or mistrust can lead to a low libido and low sex drive. Also, poor communication, fighting, conflict, and yelling can all lead to a low libido, low sex drive, and painful vaginal intercourse. Many times, relationship and marital conflicts and arguments get swept under the rug and are never talked about.
Whether a couples lack healthy communication skills, or just avoid conflict altogether, these arguments can lead to painful intercourse.
Remember, the body and mind are connected. So, when a female is unhappy in her relationship, her body may not feel sexually aroused. A females body holds onto memories like arguments and conflicts. Therefore, if she feels hopeless or frustrated with her partner after a fight, and emotionally invalidated, her body may not become sexually aroused or feel open sexually.
Working with a sex and intimacy therapist in Southeastern Connecticut can help couples process trust issues and overcome negative feelings from unresolved fights. In Southeastern Connecticut, couples wanting a passionate, pleasurable sex life can gain healthy communication skills that promote intimate, healthy, playful conversations.
How can self-pleasure and mastrobation support female sexual pleasure, sexual confidence, and sexual exploration?
Self-pleasure and mastrobation can help women build sexual confidence and explore her sexuality. Also, self-pleasure and mastrobation can help women overcome sexual trauma and anxiety.
If you experience pain during sexual intercourse and vaginal penetration, self-pleasure and mastrobation can help you find what feels good to you. Starting with self-pleasure and exploring your body sexually can be a mindfulness practice. By yourself, you can embrace in your sexuality and get to know what kind of touch turns you on. Often, women carry sexual shame and guilt from growing up in a strict, religious home where sex is taboo. Sexual shame and guilt may also be subconscious. Also, self-pleasure and mastrobation means mentally getting to know what you need too. Self-pleasure and mastrobation is not just a physical practice, but is also a practice of mindfulness mentally.
A females can explore her clitoris in self-pleasure and gain confidence about her sexual needs
The clitoris is essential to female sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, women do not receive sexual education on female sexual pleasure in our culture. Now, the clitoris is at the top of the vulva opening and is like a button. Now, don’t start touching your clitoris right away as it is very sensitive. But, once you touch other areas of your body, and feel sexually aroused, your clitoris will become engorged with blood.
In the the process of sexual arousal, you’ll feel your clitoris get bigger and swell up. This is a sign your body is becoming more turned on and your sex drive in increasing. You should feel your clitoris throbbing and pulsating even before you touch it when you are sexually aroused. Even though your clitoris is a small area, it has thousands of nerve endings more female sexual pleasure. As well, the female clitoris has double the nerve endings as the male penis. Explore your erogenous zones, your clitoris, and get to know yourself sexually. Taking the time to feel into your own touch and mindfully being in your body can be empowering sexually.
For females, self-pleasure and mastrobation can support skills for overcoming guilt and shame
A female can use time for self-pleasure and mastrobation to develop courage over sexual shame and guilt. Females can dedicate time just to themselves. As a female, you can take time to massage your body with warm oil and make your body feel great. When self-pleasuring and mastrobating, don’t get too fixated on orgasming.
If you orgasm, that is great. But, if you don’t orgasm, that is okay too. An orgasm may seem farther and farther away when you are too focused on it. So, just explore the kind of touch your body wants and needs to feel sexually open. In the process of self-pleasure and mastrobation, you are learning and discovering more about yourself.
You may want to try a nipple orgasm, or a clitoral orgasm by yourself. Try new environments besides your bed, like becoming comfortable with masturbating in the tub. As well, play around with listening to music or the quiet of your home during self-pleasure and mastrobation.
How often should a female practice self-pleasure and mastrobation?
Also, self-pleasure and mastrobation skills take time to develop. So, take the time to schedule self-pleasure and mastrobation about three times per week for at least 45 minutes. Each time you self-pleasure, you are building more information on what sexually arouses you. Think of self-pleasure and mastrobation as important as physical exercise.
From getting to know you body more and more, you may appreciate and love yourself more and more. Additionally, sex toys, lubricants, and vibrators can be a playful part of self-pleasure and mastrobation. In self-pleasure and mastrobation, you can learn what types of vibrators, lubricants, and sex toys feel good to your body. You may want to order some sex toys, lubricants, or vibrators online or visit your local sex-positive shop.
Painful sex is a great reasons to reach out for sex and marriage counseling at Wisdom Within.
If you experience sex that is painful, you do not have to suffer in silence. Women of all ages may experience painful intercourse, and sex and inimtacy therapy can help make sexual activities more pleasurable, intimate, sexy, passionate, playful, and enjoyable. No matter your location, we can offer video or in person counseling to improve your sex life and sexual pleasure.
Wisdom Within Counseling offers sex positive counseling on video and in person in Southeastern Connecticut.
In other Connecticut towns, we offer video counseling in Connecticut to families in Portland, Berlin, Bethany, Bethel, Bethlehem, Milford, Kent, Bloomfield, East Hampton, Southington, Haddam, Litchfield, Simsbury, Fairfield, Cobalt, Marlborough, Cromwell, Canton, Avon, Rocky Hill, West Hartford, Clinton, Wethersfield, Middlebury, Rye, New Canaan, Cheshire, Waterbury, Guilford, Chester, Deep River, Moodus, Durham, and Middletown, Connecticut. We help families in Connecticut in Bozrah, Waterford, Old Lyme, Ivoryton, Griswold, Darien, Centerbrook, Westbrook, Essex, East Lyme, Newington, Shelton, South Windsor, Granby, Franklin, Branford, Griswold, Groton, Ledyard, Suffield, Lisbon, Montville, Bristol, Stratford, Hartland, Glastonbury, Colchester, East Haddam, Hadlyme, Hamburg, Enfield, Old Saybrook, Riverside, Westport, Ridgefield, and Madison, Connecticut. As well, we help women, couples and families in Milford, Connecticut in Forest Heights, Fort Trumbull, Baldwins Crossing, Silver Beach, Naugatuck Gardens, Bayview, Oronoque, Johnsons Corner, Connecticut. We are also licensed in Florida and Massachusetts.
You get a safe place to talk about overcoming painful intercourse in sex and intimacy counseling and building a passionate, meaningful, and healthy sex life.
