Family estrangement happens and it can be very painful. Often, when contact is cut off between family members, it creates anxiety, loss, anger, and grief. Parents who are cut off feel sad, shame, regret and may even blame themselves. Therapy can help parents stop blaming themselves and build a healthy life. Estrangement between family members can last for long periods of time or go through cycles where there is intermittent communication and reconciliation. Often, conflict, hurt, anger, and antagonism are main driving factors for the distance and cut off. Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in family loss and trauma in parental alienation counseling.
Why do adult children alienate from their parents?
You adult child may need to blame someone, and they may blame you. With blaming, they may be upset about how their life turned out and say it was your fault. As well, your adult child may have mental illness, borderline personality disorder, or PTSD. Tension, arguments and conflict between you and your adult child can bring up intense, unmanageable feelings. Unresolved trauma may trigger this desire for distance and alienation.
To begin, click the button below to book your phone consult for parental alienation and estrangement counseling.
How to cope with parental alienation?
Feel the pain, but create a healthy life. Always leave a spot in your heart for your adult child to reenter. Its okay that you are sad and scared. Take time to feel the loss and cope in a healthy way. Also, stay away from numbing out, partying, alcoholism, and reckless behaviors. It might feel confusing as to why this is happening, and you might feel mad back. Let yourself cry and feel, but don’t blame yourself. Deep down, its really sad that you don’t get to be a part of your adult child’s Life. You may be worried that your adult child will never let you see your grandchildren again. Don’t think the worst or think too much about the future. stay present as much as you can. This cut off seems like such an impulsive reaction, but you also feel so helpless. Counseling can help you cope with estrangement stress and parental alienation. Therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling can be a safe place to process fears and anxiety when you feel pushed out and alienated as a parent.
What do you do when your adult child stops speaking to you?
Sometimes in life, you’ll have to be the bigger person. That means taking good care of yourself in mind, body and spirit. Therapy can be one of many ways to practice self-love and self-care. In therapy, you can gain clarity to apologize if you’re wrong. Sometimes, an adult child whats you to apologize. Therapy can also be a place to talk through the issues. Family counseling can be a safe space to have conversations with your family. At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can meet for estrangement and parental alienation counseling in person or on video.
How can therapy help when the time for reconnection occurs?
In therapy, you can learn how to give a sincere, heartfelt apology. This is can be great to model for your adult child. It might seem like your adult child is in the wrong too. However, negative beliefs and angry feelings can hold people back. Holistic parental alienation counseling can help you develop calm, clear, and honest communication. It might be hard to take ownership, apologize, and show your adult child that you’re taking accountability. But, apologizing often helps with lowering conflict and repairing. Regardless, it can feel so painful and sad thinking about no contact with your adult child. Even for some weeks and months now, you missed your adult child at important gatherings, weddings, and funerals. Meeting in estrangement and parental alienation counseling can help you feel confident and clear dispute loss, anger, and uncertainty.
Parental alienation and estrangement counseling can be a major loss and trauma
It might feel like your only grandchild has been taken out of your reach. You still have love and an open heart. But, it is sad that your adult child pushes you out and won’t attend family functions. You might have trouble sleeping, insomnia, become tearful at random times during the day, or even doubt your abilities as a parent. This is a traumatic experience of unexpected loss. Additionally, you might feel jealous of other parents who still have a relationship with their adult children or grandchildren. You might feel torn between wanting to reconnect and wanting to give up. Furthermore, counseling can help you if you are suffering from symptoms of trauma and loss. Estrangements impact siblings and parents negatively. Parents may feel that they deeply poured so much of their life into helping their adult child grow up, that it hurts when they choose no contact. And, the fact that your adult child can just walk away, it perplexes and confuses you. sometimes, it feels so sad, that there is pain that doesn’t ever end. Therapy can give you positive outlets for dealing with loss, blame, grief, abd sadness about estrangement and parental alienation.
When your adult child is lying or blaming you, it can be hard to take it.
There may be a variety of emotions you want to talk about. You want guidance on what to do next. Maybe, a part of you is jealous that your adult child is talking to your spouse and not you. Also, you may feel scared and confused as to why this estrangement is occurring. You may feel angry that you are being given blame. Additionally, you may feel sad and lost without seeing your grandchildren, who may not understand why they can’t see you. And, you feel worried that your adult child may not be okay mentally. Counseling for parental alienation can help you build positive coping skills for uncertain times.
To begin, click the button below to book your phone consult for parental alienation and estrangement counseling.
How to manage when your adult child stops contacting you?
Additionally, while your adult child is doing the work of separating, you can stay strong. Focus on regular meals, positive nutrition, and good sleep. Ensure you are socializing with friends and taking time for your own hobbies. Your adult child and grandchildren may have been a huge part of your life. This time apart may be difficult. In therapy, you can do the work of carefully taking care of your mind, body and spirit. Focusing on yourself will be a gift in bridging the gap of communication. Start by meeting with a therapist to gain self-care and self-acceptance skills.
Try to have positive interactions with your adult child when you can
If your adult child is not contacting you and angry, don’t get angry back. It will be hard not to explode or yell. Emotions like anger, anxiety, and fear are intense for sure. Journaling, making tea, talking with a therapist, exercising, doing yoga and more can help you cope. Know that your adult child is having a hard time processing their feelings. So, take this distance as time to work on your emotions. You may have a ton of intense emotions you want to share, but it feels rushed and angry. In therapy, you can take tome to release anger calmly and verbalize emotions. Working with a therapist can help you share feelings calmly when the time comes.
In general, counseling for family estrangement and parental alienation can help you find acceptance.
What is one thing to try today to mend the parental alienation and estrangement?
For one, parents to write a letter to their adult child. Leave a letter in their door or mailbox. You may not get a reply right away, but you can write and ask for understanding. Let your adult child know that you want to understand their emotions and perception of the past. If there is anger limiting connection, working with a counselor can help. It may be really painful, sad, and scary thinking about this letter. You and your therapist can take the time to talk about what you would like to include in the letter. Also, you can talk about how you want to deliver the letter. As well, you can prepare for a different reactions.
How does counseling help create positive parent and child bonds?
The ability for parent’s to respond to their child’s pain is so essential in a healthy relationship. Healthy parents can comfort and nurture an adult child. Maybe, an adult child has relationship problems in their marriage. Comfort from a nurturing parent can provide an adult child with feelings of acceptance, support and validation. Therefore, in healthy parent child relationships, parents show a willingness to provide healing, safe emotional outlets. When their child is hurt or in distress, parents who are healthy show regard for a child’s feelings. Then, this allows the child to externalize the feelings, let them go, and get them out. Working with a family estrangement counselor who understands parental alienation can help you rebuild a healthy relationship with your adult child.
Other traits of healthy parent child relationship
Parents who are healthy guide and model coping tools for emotions without hurting themselves or others. In healthy parent child relationships, conflicts are not common. Arguments do not get out of hand and are not hurtful. Healthy relationships with parents and children have strong elements of trust, respect and compassion. Parents comfort adult children by being a sounding board for them. Healthy parents respect their adult children’s choices, differences, and career. Holistic counseling can help parents build a healthier relationship with their adult children.
Wisdom Within Counseling specializes with family estrangement and parental alienation
If your adult child has recently cut you off, you are not alone. Our team at Wisdom Within Counseling would love to help you develop positive coping tools. It is okay that it is a difficult time of loss and trauma. Counseling at Wisdom Within can help you cope with loss, confusion, anger, and anxiety. It might feel uncertain if your adult child will ever talk to you again. You are very sad about the disconnection in the relationships with your grandchildren. Right now, your adult child seems so angry. As a parent, you feel helpless and hurt. One of the most important things you can do with your counselor is learn that you shouldn’t blame yourself. To cope, you can develop positive and healthy coping strategies for processing sadness, guilt, and anger.
We also offer holistic strategies for stress management.
For holistic therapy, you can do art therapy is to paint and use clay to process intense emotions and healthy ways. Family estrangement and parental alienation can lead to a lot of intense emotions. Holistic therapy can help you processes intense emotions and healthy ways. Also, when dealing with a family estrangement and parental alienation, you can go outside for a walk and talk session by the beach. Going outside in nature, getting fresh air, and going for a walk by the beach helps process anxiety. Our team of therapists would love to help you overcome the loss and trauma with parental alienation and estrangement.
We offer video counseling to Old Greenwich (06870), Darien (06820), Westport (06880), New Canaan (06840), Wilton (06897), South Glastonbury (06073), and Ridgefield (06877), Connecticut and Florida.
