For some, it’s difficult to try to understand what may motivate a teen to self-harm. It may not make sense to us and honestly, can feel very frustrating as a parent. Maybe it feels like your child is cutting for attention or to scare you, or even to fit some into some angsty clique at school. If you are this caregiver, you are in the right place! As a group of holistic, out-of-the-box therapists who treat self-harm in Southeastern Connecticut, we can help you!
We are a group of therapists who treat self-harm in Niantic, Connecticut
This blog post will identify the main reasons teens self-harm, offer in-depth explanation of a teen’s motivation to engage in self-harm and lastly, explore interventions that parents can use to show support of their teens. More information on teen self-harm can be found here. If you are looking for specialized help for self harming teens in Niantic using DBT, read more, here.
Why Do Teens Self-Harm?
To start, teens self-harm in order to gain relief from negative feelings. But, how does cutting do that? Studies on the neurobiology associated with cutting actually show that this self-injurious behavior releases the neurotransmitters, or brain chemicals, that are responsible for stress relief known as serotonin and dopamine. Brain scans of individuals who self-harm show abnormalities in those individuals’ levels of these neurotransmitters, indicating that they have an increased vulnerability to stress.
Creative, holistic, alternative therapists who treat self-harm through teaching positive skills
Likewise, a deficiency in those chemicals could indicate a higher propensity to engage in self-harming behaviors. As a group of holistic, alternative therapists who treat self-harm, we often work with local pediatricians and doctors. Moreover, teens may report that cutting helps them cope with intense emotional reactions. Thus supporting that self- harming serves as an analgesic or means of dealing with high stress situations or emotional experiences. Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic offers help for self harming teens by practicing through an empathetic and non-judgmental lens.
What intense emotions does my child experience that would cause them to feel the need to self-harm?
First, you must know that severe anxiety, depression, anger, self-loathing or poor self-esteem are all emotional experiences that may be so intense that a teen turns to cutting as a way coping. Considering that adolescence is a tumultuous period involving raging hormones and frequent, biological social and emotional transitions, it makes sense why teens are at the highest risk for self-harming. All of this change can be extremely stressful and difficult to manage without the support of a mental health professional such as the skilled therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, CT. Call/Text to get your self-harming teen started with a teen specialist today (860)-451-9364.
Notes and tips from therapists who treat self-harm and cutting in teenagers in counseling in Connecticut
1) Teens Self-Harm To Feel Something
Some teens who self-harm report that prior to cutting they struggled to feel any emotion at all. Many teens have stated that they go through their day to day life feeling numb, detached or lethargic. This may be indicative that the child is experiencing depression and requires the consultation of a therapist and/or psychiatrist. Parents in need of said consultation are encouraged to contact one of the professional therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut who specialize in self-harm in teens. For children who report being apathetic, inflicting physical pain on oneself serves as a substitute or alternate experience to the emotional pain deep inside.
2) Teens self-harm to communicate a need for help
Secondly, teens self-harm because they are asking for help. Verbalizing their fear, pain and desire for help can be difficult for anyone, but especially vulnerable teens. Unfortunately, this is often misunderstood by peers, teachers and parents as attention-seeking and not legitimate.
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But the problem is, the phrase, “attention seeking” has such a negative connotation. It implies that the individual’s claims are not truthful. In reality, attention seeking is a child’s effort to communicate that they have a need that is not being met. Unfortunately, our society shames those who ask for help, and deem them as weak. So, consider this effort to communicate as a teen’s desperate cry for help. They may be in a spot mentally where they don’t have the strength to verbalize it that they’re in danger. As the responsible adults in a teen’s life, we need to know what signs to look for that a child needs help—and this is a major one.
What Can I Do About It?
Wisdom Within Counseling is a holistic group of therapists who treat self-harm and cutting in Southeastern Connecticut
First–and this one is major–find a professional mental health care provider who the teen feels comfortable working with. By this, I don’t mean, picking a random therapist and forcing your child to meet with them. The best way to get your child on board is to make them a part of the process and give them a sense of control over their treatment. They need to know that they have a say in who they receive help from. Including them in this process will increase their motivation to change and personal investment in their treatment.
Tip #1: Come up with a safety plan for your self-harming teen
At Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut, we are a group of therapists who treat self-harm and teach self-love skills
You as a caregiver, may feel out of control and helpless when you discover your teen is self-harming. Take action by creating a safety plan with your child, for your child. This may include locating and locking away all sharps. However, the reality is that it is impossible to get rid of all objects a teen could potentially use to self-harm. But, do your best by removing paperclips, staplers, safety pins, ripped off metal shards from a pencil, or broken glass. Lock up any that you can identify as posing a risk (i.e. scissors, kitchen knives, razors, etc.).
Teens Feeling Isolated Are At Risk To Self-Harm
The last part of safety planning is talking with your teen to help them identify one reliable adult who they feel they can trust. This is a person they feel comfortable going to when they feel the urge to self-harm, and often times won’t be a parent.
Recommendations from Niantic, Connecticut holistic therapists who treat self-harm and cutting
This part of the plan may seem obvious or silly. But, often, in crisis the teen is too overwhelmed to think of a person they can call, text or message online. They may feel alone or isolated. Identify a specific person that your teen can reach out to while they’re in a positive state. Then, they will be aware of who to go to when crisis hits. If that person is you, don’t panic when they communicate their urges to you.
Tip #2: Remain calm yourself
It’s normal to want to freak out if your teen comes to you stating that they want to cut. But do your best to remain calm. Ask them open-ended questions and show support by listening and validating their experience (i.e. “That must have been very painful for you to hear”). First, calling or texting 211 or a self-harm hotline can be helpful. Second, come up with an alternative solution—although frowned upon by some, many value the idea of harm reduction.
Tip #3: Consider less frequent cutting an improvement
In a perfect world, no teen would ever want to cause harm to themselves. But we need to recognize that in that immediate moment, to a teen in the beginning stages of recovery, this feels like the only option. If this is the case, you may want to explore the idea of harm reduction with your teen. When parents ask me what this means, I use the example of a rubber band. For some, snapping a rubber band against their wrist or forearm serves as a substitute to cutting or scratching and provides a similar experience of stress relief for a teen in crisis.
Tip #4: Seek parent support through this tough time
Always, seek support for yourself! When your teen self-harms, it is entirely normal for a parent to feel frustrated, scared, helpless or powerless. Some parents may lash out in anger as they struggle to understand why their child may be hurting themselves. Others may internalize it and become depressed themselves. Whatever feelings a child’s self-harm causes you as a parent, requires the support of a mental health professional. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we are here for you and your self-harming teen.
The Child & Teen Specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling Can Help Your Teen Learn Positive Skills
Although the teen seems to be in greater need of help, don’t disregard the negative feelings this experience has elicited for you. Remember, no one said that parenting was easy and no one parent holds all of the answers. By working with a therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling, a parent can work to regain a sense of confidence in their parenting abilities, increased resilience, and self-empowerment necessary to best support their hurting child.
