Couples Therapy, Love, and Sex Therapy with Katie Ziskind LMFT, RYT500
Is It Possible To Repair After My Partner Cheated On Me?
It is possible to rebuild your relationship after your partner cheats on you. Couples therapy after cheating can be supportive, informational, and educational. First, I recommend weekly or even twice a week couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling. And, I offer couples therapy in Niantic at Wisdom Within Counseling, a holistic practice for marriage and family therapy. You’re not alone. The feelings of fight and flight you have right now are okay. Couples therapy after cheating can help you identify and release anger, blame, shame, frustration, hurt, and loss in positive ways. Many couples go through pain points and do good work repairing their relationship after cheating.
What Will Couples Therapy Do For Us To Repair Our Relationship After Cheating?
I’m glad you asked! First, couples therapy will teach you about your negative family patterns which are usually engrained from childhood. Moreover, couples therapy after cheating is a great way to learn positive coping tools to handle your trigger points in positive, healthy ways. In relationships, each person has an influence on the other, there is a push and a pull from all people involved. Furthermore, negative family patterns from childhood and having parents who cheated influence your currently love life.
Did You Grow Up With Parents Who Cheated On Each Other?
Often, cheating is a long engrained family pattern. Cheating, a negative coping tool, may have gone on for generations in your family! So, perhaps you grew up thinking cheating and sleeping around was okay. Just like narcissism is a negative pattern, or yelling is a negative learned behavior, couples therapy after cheating can become a positive learned skill for getting through this time. So, you may have seen one of your parents yell and the other stop listening. This is now a negative way of interacting with your partner. Therefore, you learned from your childhood that stonewalling is an appropriate way to handle conflict. Stonewalling is when one person just stops responding and becomes a stone, which further damages the partnership. Lastly, in couples therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling, you’ll learn healthier ways to communicate your feelings. By communicating, you will have skills and presence to notice your negative patterns in your partnership before it gets to the point of cheating.
What Does My Partner Who Cheated On Me Need To Do? I Know They Need Help
After cheating, the partner who cheated needs to get clear on what they want. Furthermore, over time, their sexual desires may have changed since when you two first got together. So, some people decide to make their marriage open or polygamous. But, other couples decide that they want to remain monogamous. Everyone has different love needs. In the case of mutual monogamy, the person who was cheating needs to cut off all contact with the new girlfriend or boyfriend to then focus on the marriage.
What To Learn More About How To Be A Better Wife?
Katie Ziskind, holistic-focused, LGBTQ and poly friendly therapist, in Southeastern Connecticut, has been mentioned. Journalists often ask experts in their fields for quotes and information for their articles. Learn what Katie has to say about being a better wife, here. Couples therapy after cheating helps you feel confident and secure in your relationship once again. Call or text (860)-451-9364 to get started with a phone consultation for in person or distance phone sessions.
What Is Polyamory or An Open Relationship?
Additionally, couples who renegotiate to go poly do so for a variety of reasons. One partner may not be able to provide sexually. So, a contract is negotiated that explicitly details the new boundaries so both people can feel fulfilled. Another reason a couple opens their relationship is because one person can’t meet all needs. Moreover, both people agree to have each other as their primary partners, and then find a secondary partner. To note, couples who transition and renegotiate to poly or open should read Opening Up, the book.
What Should We Do Now? Couples Therapy After Losing Trust
First, you are your partner need to talk openly together. If this is difficult, get a couples therapist now. Don’t wait or it will only get worse and you’ll hurt each other more. Moreover, yelling is a form of negative communication. Further, yelling happens when too much hurt has occurred. Neither person is calm or grounded enough to hear what their partner is saying. So, if you notice yelling starting, take a comment to pause and calm yourself down. In couples therapy after cheating, you’ll learn positive ways to talk and feel heard, while also listening to your partner’s needs and feelings.
What Are Ways To Self-Soothe If Yelling Starts?
First, take a break/time out and have a glass of water. Second, go outside and get some fresh air in nature to gain perspective and see the Earth’s beauty. Third, meditate or do yoga to get more rational and kind. Choose compassion and curiosity over anger and hurt. A tough conversation needs respect. It may involve crying, sadness, loss, beauty, intimacy, and being vulnerable. And, you may need to journal about your feelings beforehand. Also, meet with your own therapist privately to get clear rather than speaking from a confused, hurt place. Many couples are happy being monogamous. In conclusion, couples therapy after cheating can be a great way to improve your communication skills and rekindle desire. Use the orange button at the bottom to schedule, or Call/Text to get started with a phone consultation today (860)-451-9364.
Polyamory vs. Monogamous? Couples Therapy Conversations
But, you may not be happy with just one partner. And, love is not black or white. To note, there are a variety of different types of love and ways to get love and commitment. Your inner child may be in love with a person who is stable, grounded, and reliable and a caregiver. Whereas, an inner crazy teenage part of you may be in love with the spontaneous energy of a free spirited person. Finally, you may deeply benefit from self-work with a sex therapist to understand your needs regarding love.
Why Aren’t Open Relationships Talked About In My Current Couples Therapy Sessions?
Poly couples are often quiet because open relationship are not accepted and shamed by our Americanized culture. Multiple partners can provide deep love needs tracing back to childhood trauma. Yes, your childhood plays a HUGE role in your current adult love life! For instance, your inner child will love one of your partners because they are stable, reliable, and sober. These love needs never were met in childhood, so your inner child now feel stability and loved. Another part of you, your inner reckless teenager, loves another one of your partners who is sexy, a free spirit, and into kink because now these other needs are being met.
Call/Text to get started with a phone consultation today (860)-451-9364.
LGBTQ Therapy in Southeastern Connecticut and LGBTQ Therapy Online
In poly couples, communication is everything. Therefore, you will need to find an LGBT educated, poly friendly therapist if you want to renegotiate boundaries. Furthermore, many couples therapists in East Lyme will tell the partner who cheated to stop. In therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling, this is typically an unrealistic recommendation. Therapist aren’t supposed to give advice!
Why Does It Not Work To Tell The Cheater To Simply Stop Cheating?
People can not just stop cheating. Just like you can’t stop your habits, a person who cheats finds comfort and some sort of safety in their pattern. Even thought is is negative, like alcoholism, it serves a deep purpose. Through weekly therapy in Southeastern Connecticut, a person who cheats can learn positive ways to handle their difficult feelings. It is these feelings that drive them to cheat. Also, cheating is often a learned behavior from deep into childhood. Just like you learned it was a good self- care practice to brush your teen twice a day, someone else learned cheating was a way to get a different need met. Cheating can also trace back to childhood trauma and abuse. So, work with a therapist if you have a tendency towards cheating. And, telling someone to stop cheating doesn’t really address why the person felt the need to cheat anyway.
How Do We Repair After Cheating?
In order to repair, both people need full honesty and healthy communication skills learned through couples therapy. The skills you will learn in couples therapy after cheating, you can take into any relationship. And, to understand why their partner cheated, they need their own individual therapist. Usually cheating happens over a long period of not feeling wanted or loved. So, it will happen again if both partners don’t fully understand their couple’s dance/cycles of negativity that lead to cheating! To learn more about your negative patterns and to stop them before they get worse, call or text Katie Ziskind, holistic marriage and family therapist and yoga specialist. Finally, couples therapy after cheating can be exactly what you and your partner need to heal. Wisdom Within Counseling is your safe place to get couples therapy support and expertise!
