Trauma is not just a single event that happens to you. Trauma is a cumulation of an event and everything that comes in the aftermath of the event. Fortunately, trauma counseling and working with a trauma-informed specialist can help free you of the hold trauma places on your life.
Beginning trauma counseling is a significant step in one’s healing journey. Maybe you put off this crucial step for a long time now, and trauma from your past or childhood is beginning to resurface. Maybe you experience recurring nightmares, thoughts, or triggers that flood your awareness. Or, maybe you avoid certain places or situations out of fear that it will invoke anxiety.
If we do not adequately process a traumatic event that has happened to us, we are doing a disservice to our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. It is critical to work with a trauma-informed specialist to reclaim your life and break free of past trauma.
What is Trauma?
Trauma can be thought of as an extension of a life-threatening or harmful event. Trauma is the collection of symptoms that follow in the aftermath of a single or repeated events and can be debilitating if left untreated. Common symptoms of PTSD include avoidance, intrusive memories, negative changes in thinking and mood, and changes in physical and emotional reactions.
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Avoidance
Avoidance can look like trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event. You may also avoid places, certain activities, or people that remind you of the traumatic event. Avoidance behaviors can be damaging because oftentimes, trauma survivors go to extremes to avoid circumstances that may trigger them. For example, a woman in a car accident may start to travel a different route that adds 45 minutes to her commute to work just to avoid driving past the site of the crash.
Intrusive Memories
In addition to avoidance, intrusive memories are common after traumatic events. An intrusive memory can include recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the event. Even seeing something that reminds you of the traumatic event can result in intense emotional distress. Intrusive memories can be so strong that it can also feel like reliving the traumatic event again. Nightmares or upsetting dreams are also common.
Negative Changes in Thinking and Mood
Living with trauma can often entail depressed or anxious thinking and feeling. Maybe you notice that you begin to perceive life as you once knew it through a different lens. You may feel poorly about yourself, others, or the world.
Changes in Physical and Emotional Reactions
Physical and emotional changes are often known as arousal symptoms. This is where trauma begins to impact the nervous system and the ways in which we respond internally and externally to our environment.
Do you feel as though you are always on guard for danger? This is a common emotional reaction. You may find that you are more easily startled or frightened after a traumatic event. Self-destructive behaviors are also common including increase use of substances. Maybe, you’re finding that you have trouble sleeping or difficulty concentrating on tasks. Another change is increased irritability, angry outbursts, or aggressive behavior. Trauma can also lead individuals to feel overwhelming guilt or shame.
Trauma Bond
Maybe you have heard the term “trauma bond” and you fear that it applies to your current relationship. A trauma bond occurs when one partner in the relationship uses manipulation tactics and cycles of abuse to make the victim dependent on them. The victim, in turn, feels that they need their partner to feel validated and cared for. This creates a strong attachment, or trauma bond. Trauma bonds often can occur in narcissistic relationships.
When you are in a trauma-bond with a partner, it feels nearly impossible to walk away. Maybe you find that you often forget about about the hurt and pain your partner put you through, and you only remember the good times with them.
Irinel Fishlock, trauma-informed therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling, asserts that, “certain individuals may be at a higher risk of being in a trauma bond. Individuals with dependent personalities or anxious/avoidant attachment styles often are at a higher risk of developing a trauma bond with a significant other.”
Love-bombing commonly occurs within a trauma bond. This can look like intense declarations of love, acts of kindness, gifts, and praise from your partner. Love-bombing is often what keeps the victim from leaving because it provides a false sense of stability and security in the relationship.
What to do if you suspect you are in a Trauma Bond
For most people, once they discover that they are in a trauma bond with their partner, they begin to feel confused or at a loss of what to do next. Maybe you want to stay with your current partner and heal together, hoping that they will change. Or, maybe you are contemplating leaving the relationship because you cannot handle the pain any longer.
A good first step to navigate through a trauma bond is working with a trauma-informed therapist. A specialized therapist can help you sort through and process your emotions, as well as the events that have occurred in your relationship. A therapist can also provide coping skills to heal from trauma.
Here at Wisdom Within Counseling, our therapists are trained in supporting couples. They are able to recognize signs of emotional abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, trauma, and love-bombing. Our therapists can work with you in one-on-one sessions individually, or with you and your partner. We are able to support your relationship from a nurturing and also informative standpoint.
Complex PTSD in Trauma Counseling
Chronic trauma that follows one throughout the lifetime is known as complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or CPTSD. CPTSD differs from PTSD in that people experience repeated trauma for months or years at a time, as opposed to a single event.
Many of the symptoms that can occur with CPTSD are similar to that of PTSD. These symptoms include reliving the traumatic event, hyperarousal, avoidance, perceiving the world as dangerous and untrustworthy, and physical symptoms.
Complex PTSD differs in that, in addition to the symptoms above, one may also experience a lack of emotional regulation, changes in consciousness or feeling dissociated from your body, negative self-perception, relationship difficulty, and feelings of loss of meaning. In essence, CPTSD affects all areas of one’s life and daily functioning. Therefore, CPTSD is a serious condition that can often be debilitating.
The Effects of Trauma
Oftentimes, the symptoms of trauma become so severe that they begin to impact our daily functioning. Maybe you noticed that it is increasingly hard to fall asleep or stay asleep throughout the night due to recurring dreams or nightmares. Or, you may dread getting out of bed in the morning and going about your day because the world around you has only ever been harmful to you.
Irinel Fishlock, therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling, adds that “another way trauma impacts daily functioning is through triggers or intrusive memories that come up at any point throughout your day. You may be at work and all of a sudden experience heightened stress, an increased heart rate, and sudden flashbacks of the traumatic event. This in turn, impacts your ability to adequately tend to your work tasks.”
Trauma may significantly impact your relationships. You may feel more distant or withdrawn from your significant other, parents, your children, or your friends. Maybe you feel that you cannot get too close to these individuals because it is protecting you. However, this is not always the case. Trauma often prohibits individuals from forming meaningful and healthy relationships with others in their life.
Working with a Trauma Counseling Specialist
A therapist who applies a trauma-informed approach is best suited to help one heal from PTSD, CPTSD, or a trauma-bond. This means that the therapist can effectively help you navigate and process the painful event or events without triggering a heightened state or response. The therapist can guide you through breath work, imagery, or simple somatic movements that help regulate the nervous system.
How Trauma Counseling Can Help
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we specialize in supporting individuals with trauma histories. Trauma is best worked through in a nonjudgemental and nurturing way. Therefore, our therapists integrate a unique, holistic approach that aims at healing the mind, body, and spirit. We take into consideration your mental, emotional, and physical health during sessions. This way, we can best support your needs and your path of healing.
If you are hesitant at beginning therapy to resolve a past trauma, try one session with Wisdom Within Counseling and go from there. We would love to help support you.
