What is a trauma bond?
To begin, trauma bonding in a romantic relationship can be very intense. One moment, you can feel close and in love. The next moment, you recognize that there is a negative cycle of terrible communication and hurt feelings. As well, if there is trauma bonding in your relationship, it means that there are imbalances in power. At Wisdom Within Counseling, therapy for trauma bonds is a speciality.
How do trauma bonds start?
Things feel so good at first. Being in love feels so good. But, slowly couples yell, poke, jab, and hurt one another. These painful, hurtful feelings linger, and really hurt. Then, fights become very intense, emotional, hopeless, and even angry. And, it is difficult to break the pattern of negative communication without couples therapy.
In a relationship, some couples fall into the cycle of trauma bonding.
This means that when you have good times, they are very good. But, when you have bad times, there may be instances of verbal or physical abuse. Often times, when there is trauma bonding in your marriage or relationship, and neither person truly feel safe being themselves.
Many times, negative communication, criticism, name calling, and yelling, are signs of trauma bonding.
Right now, you might feel frustration, sadness, hopelessness, or overwhelm. To add, thinking about the future of your relationship leaves you feeling hopeless. Couples therapy for trauma bonds can help stop the negative communication pattern that develops. Additionally, in marriage counseling, you can learn how to break the trauma bond pattern and cycle. Often times, when you are stuck in a trauma bond, there’s a lot of shame, guilt, and resentment.
Where do trauma bonds come from exactly?
Usually, trauma bonds occur because one or both people in a romantic relationship have childhood trauma. Both of you may have attachment issues related to childhood traumas.
How does post-traumatic stress disorder impact couples in counseling?
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a very complex disorder. For many people, post traumatic stress disorder begins in childhood. As well, you or your spouse may have had a parent who was emotionally immature or belittled you.
If you had a parent who was highly critical, angry often, or didn’t know how to comfort you when you needed support, you may have PTSD.
Having a parent that was abusive or an alcoholic causes a person to feel unlovable. As well, growing up and leaving an abusive childhood means that there is a sense of freedom. It can feel so scary to feel like the abuse, like in childhood, is happening all over again in your marriage. Furthermore, it is very common for people who have experiences of childhood sexual or physical abuse to get into a trauma bond.
Essentially, as children, if you were hurt, criticized, or watched your parent struggle with an addiction, you may be in a trauma bond now in your marriage.
Parental trauma and family dysfunction
We learn how to react to the traumatic situation and this is the way your brain handles trauma as an adult too. As a child, you had to adapt to survive. So, in your adult relationship with your romantic partner, these aspects of your childhood trauma may still be there.
Learning how to respond to a parent who had mood issues or yelled at you frequently is scary.
Now, when your partner yells at you, you feel like a child being yelled at by a parent all over again. A part of you feels ashamed and even guilty. So, couples therapy can help you feel safe and support within your relationship.
Talking with a couples therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling is an important healing element of breaking a trauma bond.
To begin, click the button below to start therapy for trauma bonds and the healthiest relationship possible.
How can holistic, somatic therapy for trauma bonds help my relationship improve?
As a child, you may have felt scared and upset and conflicted. You may have felt love and dependence on your parent, but at the same time, knew that they didn’t treat you right. So, childhood trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder deeply impact the process of conflict resolution. Therefore, at Wisdom Within Counseling, couples counseling supports healthy communication. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, you may be reliving childhood trauma as an adult.
You can feel playfulness and joy sharing all feelings in therapy for trauma bonds.
As well, couples therapy can help you in calmly responding. Your marriage therapist can help you in changing negative communications style from childhood trauma. Additionally, your partner may have their own trauma from watching their parents argue. Your partner may also not have the communication tools necessary for developing a healthy relationship.
If your partner has experiences of childhood trauma or sexual abuse, they may not know how to love you in a healthy way.
Therefore, working with a marriage therapist who specializes in trauma bonds can help you develop healthier communication tools. Sharing needs and wants calmly is a part of couples counseling at Wisdom Within Counseling.
You can learn how to love your partner in a respectful, playful, and healthy way. When emotions run high like anger or jealousy, you can have positive communication tools to talk about them. As well, you can make healing from post traumatic stress disorder and breaking the cycle of a trauma bond a priority in your relationship.
Marriage therapy in Stonington, Connecticut includes art, yoga, music, and animal therapies as necessary
Holistic and somatic therapies help couples and individual heal from trauma bonds. So, if you are in a trauma bond, working with a therapist who understands complex trauma will be essential. Holistic, somatic therapies include your mind and body. We believe that trauma is held within your body.
Trauma responses
If you have a history of sexual abuse, that fear still lingers around a sense of touch. As well, if you grew up in a home where there was lots of yelling in conflict, you may freeze up when someone starts yelling. And, if your spouse yells, you may pull away. Having a parent with borderline personality disorder creates PTSD in a child. So, any mood instability in your spouse creates fear in adult years.
When couples are stuck in a trauma bond, marriage therapy can help improve the relationship.
In your adult years, you may still have protective mechanisms that get in the way of truly enjoying your romantic relationship.
Learning how to talk about intense feelings like anxiety and worry calmly is a part of couples therapy.
In what ways can therapy for trauma bonds improve my sense of closeness to my partner?
Therefore, art therapy, yoga therapies, music therapy, drama therapy, and walking therapy and support positive coping tools. Talking can be a big part of counseling, but painting together can create a sense of safety. When was the last time you painted for fun together? Art and creative therapies support play and fun.
In addition, yoga therapy, breathing techniques, mindfulness meditation, and relaxation tools can can support acceptance. As well, self-love is a huge part of healing from a trauma bond. Additionally, inner peace and self-regulation skills can develop from somatic therapies and yoga therapy. Music and animal therapies are also a big part of marriage counseling.
These somatic couples therapies provide a sense of centering and grounding when feeling angry or irritated.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we offer creative, holistic, somatic therapy is to help couples have positive experiences right in session together.
What are reasons to start in therapy for trauma bonds at Wisdom Within Counseling?
Additionally, couples therapy for trauma bonds can help you slow down. Often times, when couples get stuck in a high conflict fight due to a trauma bond, they are unable to laugh or smile at each other.
Trauma bonds mean that both people are feeling hurt and angry all the same time.
Couples therapy for trauma bonds helps to figure out where the hurt, resentment, and anger comes from.
There might be a heart because of an affair or infidelity. Additionally, there may be emotional pain due to an emotional affair that took place. Any lying or secret keeping damages your intimacy and connection. Money or parent issues can cause anger. Let’s talk about these triggering subject and family values in marriage counseling.
Couples therapy can help you break the cycle of your trauma bond and gain self reflection.
Marriage counseling can be the time set aside each week to prioritize her intimacy, your playfulness, and communication skills.
You can learn about the cycle that your relationship goes through when you are doing well and when you are in a high conflict fight. From there, you can learn how to use intimate, emotional language to improve the communication. In therapy for trauma bonds, you can share your feelings in a calm way to feel a sense of closeness.
To begin, click the button below for a safe space to build a powerful, loving bond and clarity through marriage therapy in Stonington, Connecticut.
In marriage counseling, you can feel safe talking about your sex life and romance.
Couples therapy for trauma bonds can improve communication and clarity.
One of the main reasons to seek trauma bond counseling is a feeling of hopelessness. You might feel like a victim. When you tell your friends and family about your relationship, they might tell you to leave your partner. As well, you might blame yourself when your partner yells at you or calls you names. You might think it’s your fault or have low self-esteem because of the relationship. Therefore, working with a therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you bring back safety, joy, and genuine love.
If you are in a trauma bond, you may experience anxiety and depression.
Marriage therapy for trauma bonds helps you break a negative family pattern of trauma
As well, when you think about your relationship, in someways, it reminds you of the dysfunction of your own childhood family. Apart of you worries that your spouse is repeating their intergenerational abusive family cycle too. Couples counseling helps you move past childhood trauma and build a healthy relationship together.
And, the team of marriage therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you take the important steps to improve your marriage.
If you feel angry, hurt, or resentment, your couples trauma bond therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling can help your partner understand you. As well, your partner can learn to validate your emotions. Trauma bond therapy can help improve emotional confidence and hope for couples. Instead of getting into a high conflict fight, slamming doors, or name-calling, you and your partner can learn how to make healthier choices.
Trauma bond therapy can be a safe space to have vulnerable conversations and create long-term love.
Plus, your couples therapist can help you focus on the positives as well. With the stressors of family life, your couples therapist can help you find ways to reinforce the positive aspects of your relationship. In addition, you can talk about topics like alcohol and drug recovery. As well, you can talk calmly about the triggers for fights, and things you can do to improve your communication as a couple.
Rebuilding trust and security as possible through the health of a trauma bond specialist at Wisdom Within Counseling.
It is important not to work with just anyone if you feel you are in a trauma bond.
The team at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in attachment and complex trauma. When couples go through intensive fight cycles, our team knows how to step in and offer repairs. In a counseling session, we will pause you and your partner if we find it is getting too high conflict or critical. Our team of marriage therapists would love to help you talk about all different emotions from shame to guilt to anger. From there, you can create fresh energy for playfulness, joy, and a sense of hope about your romantic relationship.
Online and in person in Niantic, we help couples, children and teenagers in neighboring towns.
We help children, teens, and couples in Connecticut in Bozrah, Waterford, Old Lyme, Ivoryton, Griswold, Centerbrook, Westbrook, Essex, East Lyme, Newington, Shelton, South Windsor, Granby, Franklin, Branford, Griswold, Groton, Ledyard, Suffield, Lisbon, Montville, Bristol, Stratford, Hartland, Glastonbury, Colchester, East Haddam, Hadlyme, Hamburg, Enfield, Old Saybrook, Westport, Ridgefield, and Madison.
In other Connecticut towns, we offer video counseling in Connecticut to families in Portland, Berlin, Bethany, Bethel, Bethlehem, Milford, Kent, Bloomfield, East Hampton, Southington, Haddam, Litchfield, Simsbury, Fairfield, Cobalt, Marlborough, Cromwell, Canton, Avon, Rocky Hill, West Hartford, Clinton, Wethersfield, Middlebury, Cheshire, Waterbury, Guilford, Chester, Deep River, Moodus, Durham, and Middletown, Connecticut.
The holistic expressive arts in marriage therapy in Stonington, Connecticut helps fighting couples develop closeness.
A lot of times, couples get stuck talking and then quickly begin to yell. Instead, expressive arts helps couples when talking is no longer working. Art therapy and yoga therapies provide a language beyond just words. As well, distant couples with PTSD can do a meditation together to learn how to develop inner peace and slow down. Likewise, learning how to meditate together can be a wonderful life on coping strategy for closeness and relaxation at home.
Holistic, expressive therapy gives distant couples with PTSD a toolbox of coping strategies for the tough times.
