Circumstances to Seek Marriage Counseling in Fairfield County and Online
Communication in your marriage and relationship has become negative (seek counseling right away) when
For one, when one or both partners consider having an affair, or one partner has had an affair
When the couple seems to be “just occupying the same space” as roommates
Additionally, when the partners do not know how to resolve their differences calmly
When one partner begins to act out on negative feelings
Also, when the only resolution appears to be separation or divorce
When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children
Love, Relationships, Marriage and Affairs?
To add, relationships depend on partners giving time and concentration to one another. And, it is all transmitting and receiving love. But, sometimes, love can be hard, confusing, hurtful, and we need professional help. Therefore, couples and marriage counseling in Fairfield County is available at Wisdom Within Counseling. Expressing love is an art and sky is the limit!
Creative help for distant, high conflict couples through marriage counseling in Fairfield County
Now, marriage problems may seem like something other people have, until they impact you. And, there is no shame in asking for professional marital counseling. It seems to be very simple but it’s a challenge many couples face. particularly those in which one partner commutes to work. So, at Wisdom Within Counseling, we help those couples to face marriage challenge confidently. Overall, we help you win each other’s love. And, we help couples learn communication skills to understand cheating.
Wisdom Within Counseling guides couples in building a happy, caring married life after betrayal and hurt. We help distant couples in understanding cycles of what causes security verses cheating. And, we specialize with couples who feel that they are on the brink of divorce.
To start, click the button below to begin with a free phone consult for marriage counseling.
Marriage can be challenging and frustrating without the right emotional tools
Both falling in love and getting married are amazing yet stressful in their own ways but they represent the easy part. It is maintaining a marriage that can be difficult. Raising children, struggling with finances, working long hours, facing personal struggles — simply learning how to navigate the ups and down of life together can take a toll on any relationship
Holistic marriage counseling in Fairfield County
Now, marriage rates supposedly are on the decline. Divorce rates also vary with the partners’ level of education, social and religious beliefs, and many other factors. But, when divorce does happen, it results in difficulties for adults as well as children. For adults, divorce can be one of life’s most stressful life events. Therefore, if children are involved in divorce, they may develop anger. Sometimes, children express sadness and loss with frequent crying. Additionally, children may experience very negative effects such as denial, anger, blame, guilt, preoccupation with reconciliation. At times, children think they are to blame for divorce. Child and family therapy can help with feelings of abandonment and acting out. Overall, marriage counseling can help you and your next generation too.
Why people have affairs?
Discovering a partner cheating on you can be very distressing and devastating. You might feel hurt, sad, angry, or even physically and mentally sick. But above all, you might be wondering “Why?” Well, marriage counseling in Fairfield County and online helps couples rebuild after trauma, and learn skills to confidently love.
An affair is generally a sign which shows that things aren’t right with someone’s relationship. If the partners are lacking the necessary skills to handle the issues, a partner may engage in an affair as an ill-equipped way of bidding to have their needs fulfilled – for affection, for intimacy, to feel valued, to experience better sex etc. So, the drifting partner looks for an alternative relationship as a better way to meet these needs than their existing relationship.
Men are more likely to have affairs than women and are often seeking more sex or attention. Moreover, men express their love in a more physical way. Often, they often don’t have the perfect “feeling words” for their partners. So, sex becomes an important path to connection and intimacy. Then, when sex is not available, feels of rejection are apparent. Separation seems like the only response, but it is not. There is hope if you have different sexual urges or needs that your spouse.
Also, if men aren’t sexually satisfied, it can feel separate. For instance, if their spouse declines sex often, for fear of too much sex, it is hard. Often, they take that rejection to heart. And, it can easily translate to feeling “unloved.” In fact, men are more likely than women to cheat due to a feeling of insecurity. Overall, in couples therapy, the therapist help couples feel loved and cared for by each other.
When women cheat, they’re often trying to fill an emotional void. Women frequently complain of disconnection from a spouse, and of the wish to be desired and cherished. Women are more likely to feel unappreciated or ignored, and seek the emotional intimacy of an extramarital relationship.
What is sex all about really?
A survey of 5,000 people in the UK found striking parallels between men and women’s reasons for infidelity, and neither prioritized sex. Therefore, the top five reasons for women related to lack of emotional intimacy (84%), lack of communication between partners (75%), tiredness (32%), a bad history with sex or abuse (26%), and a lack of interest in sex with the current partner (23%).
For men the reasons were a lack of communication between partners (68%), stress (63%), sexual dysfunction with one’s current partner (44%), lack of emotional intimacy (38%) and fatigue or being chronically tired (31%).
In one study of men and women who were actively pursuing or involved in extramarital affairs, both genders said they were hoping to improve their sex lives. But, they chose the affair due to their own sexual insecurities. Partly, because they felt their primary relationship was lacking sexual energy. Instead of having an affair, couples therapy builds playfulness, sexuality, and emotional connection.
To begin with a phone consult, use the pink button below to learn how we can help you build security, feel loved, and close.
Reasons people cheats and keep secrets in marriage
To continue, there are many reasons why married people cheat. Now, upwards of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity. And, despite the high percentage, most people, even those who stray, will say that cheating is wrong. Often, it is a numbing response out of protection and trauma. However, despite trauma histories, cheating creates betrayal and trust issues.
Risk factors such as personality disorders and childhood issues, as well as opportunities such as social media and poor boundaries, can increase the chance that one of these reasons will actually lead to some type of affair.
Frustration in the marriage is one common trigger; the cheater may make several attempts to solve problems to no avail. Maybe, they had second thoughts about getting together. Or, they were jealous a new baby gets more attention. And, neither spouse has the skill set to communicate these feelings. Often, a new baby is a time of stress for marriages. Call or text 860-451-9364 for marriage counseling in Fairfield County.
Why do married people cheat, have affairs, and lie?
Perhaps, the straying spouse has childhood baggage. For some, childhood trauma, neglect, abuse, or a parent who cheated interferes. Often, childhood trauma interferes with marriage life. For others, childhood sexual trauma makes it impossible to maintain a committed relationship. Less often, the cheater doesn’t value monogamy, lacks empathy, or simply doesn’t care about the consequences.
Does a partner cause their spouse to cheat? Who is to blame for cheating, infidelity, and secret keeping in a marriage?
Now, we will take a look at some of risk factors and causes for cheating. But, it’s important to point out that a partner doesn’t cause their spouse to cheat. Yes, there are influences on both. For some, it is a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a means to get revenge. Others, want to hurt their partner after being cheated on themselves. But, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating and self-sabotaging behaviors. Overall, marriage counseling in Fairfield County can help you gain healthy communication skills, so the pattern changes for the positive.
Risk Factors For Cheating and Lying
There are many reasons or causes why men or women may engage in an extramarital affairs. But, certain risk factors are with one of the individuals or the marriage as a whole.
Individual Risk Factors
Individual factors that may increase the chance of infidelity include:
Addiction: Substance abuse issues, whether it’s addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling, or something else, are clear risk factors.
Attachment style: Some attachment styles, such as attachment avoidance or attachment insecurity, as well as intimacy disorders can lead to cheating. Poor self-esteem and insecurity can also raise the risk of an affair as a way to prove worthiness.
Childhood trauma: Having a history of childhood trauma (such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or neglect) may cause a propensity to cheat. With sexual trauma, there is a higher chance that a person will cheat.
Exposure to infidelity in childhood: Previous experience with cheating can also increase the risk of infidelity. A 2015 study notes, children who see parents cheating are more likely to have an affair. So, getting help in your marriage, helps your children too!
Mental illness: Some mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder are a risk factor for cheating in marriage.
Previous cheating: The saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is more than an old wives’ tale. A 2017 study was the first to evaluate the credibility of this saying. In this study, those who were in an extramarital affair were three times more likely to repeat the behavior in their next relationship. So, at Wisdom Within Counseling we help couples break the trauma cycle of conflict.
From marital counseling, we help distant, high conflict couples emotionally bond, develop closeness, and choose self-loving behaviors.
Psychological issues: Narcissistic traits or personality disorders lead to a greater likelihood of cheating. Often, ego and a sense of entitlement go with narcissism, driving an affair. In addition to being egotistic, people with these disorders often lack empathy. So, they don’t appreciate the impact of their actions on their spouse.
Sex addiction: Certainly, sex addiction in one partner increases the chance that they will be unsatisfied with the physical aspect of their marriage and look elsewhere.
Some of the reasons of cheating related to individual risk factors may include:
Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction: Dissatisfaction with the marriage either emotionally or sexually is common. Marriage is work, and without mutual nurturing couples may grow apart. Also, sexless marriage is often a reason for both men and women.
Feeling unappreciated: Feeling undervalued or neglected can lead to infidelity. When both partners work, women often carry the brunt of the housework and childcare. In this case, the affair validates the person’s sense of worth.
Lack of commitment: Everything else aside, a 2018 study talks about people who are less committed to their relationship. And, they are more likely to cheat.
Boredom: Men and women looking for the thrill of the chase and the excitement of newfound love may be more likely to cheat. Rather than trying to find a substitute for their partner, some claim their fling is a way to spice up their marriage. Falling out of love is frequently a reason for cheating. This may involve a lack of understanding of how love matures in marriage. Therefore, marriage counseling can help you learn to evolve as your love grows.
Body image/aging: Illustrated frequently by stories of middle-aged men having an affair with women the age of their daughters, cheating may sometimes be a way for a man (or woman) to prove that they still “have it.” Hand in hand with these thoughts, a spouse may cast blame for their own indiscretions by claiming that their spouse has “let himself/herself go.”
Revenge: If one partner has had an affair or has damaged the partner in some way, the offended partner may feel a need for revenge resulting in an affair.
Secondary Reasons for Cheating, Infidelity, and Lying
In addition to the primary reasons for cheating noted above, there are secondary reasons that may lead to an affair. Some of these include:
- Internet: Internet infidelity or “online cheating” is still cheating, even if the two people never met face to face and has been implicated in many affairs and divorces.
- Opportunity: Periods of absence allows a spouse to have an affair with little risk of being discovered or may lead to loneliness and resentment.
- Poor boundaries: Poor personal boundaries, or the limits we place on other people as to what we find acceptable or unacceptable, can also increase the chance that an affair will occur.
- Pornography: While it’s a role in marital infidelity has been downplayed, pornography is dangerous to marriage and has clearly been demonstrated to be a “gateway” for some people.
Problems within a Relationship
Problems in the marital relationship can also be a risk factor for cheating. Some of these include:
- Domestic violence and emotional abuse
- Emotional and/or physical disconnect
- Financial pressures
- Lack of communication
- Lack of respect
- Low compatibility (people who married for the wrong reasons): Low compatibility can lead to a sense of “buyer’s remorse”
Marriage Counseling in Fairfield County | How to Stop Your Partner from Cheating on You?
Marriage counseling, also called couples therapy, is a type of psychotherapy. Moreover, marriage counseling helps couples to recognize and resolve conflicts and improve their relationships. Through marriage counseling, you can make thoughtful decisions about maintaining, rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways.
To share, we are therapists with licensure in marriage and family therapy. And, as marriage and family therapists, we all have master’s degrees. Also, many choose to become credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). The specific treatment plan depends on the situation and vary from couple to couple.
Why marriage counseling is important?
Marriage counseling is important for addressing marital concerns because: Counseling helps couples take time out of their busy lives and come together to really focus on themselves. The counselor acts as a sort of mediator between the spouses and facilitates healthy and effective communication.
Marriage counseling can help couples in all types of intimate relationships — regardless of sexual orientation or marriage status.
Some couples seek marriage counseling to strengthen their partnership and gain a better understanding of each other. Marriage counseling can also help couples who plan to get married. Premarital counseling can help couples achieve a deeper understanding of each other and iron out differences before marriage.
In other cases, couples seek marriage counseling to improve a troubled relationship. Also, you can use marriage counseling to help with many specific issues, including:
- Communication problems
- Sexual difficulties
- Conflicts about child rearing or blended families
- Substance abuse
- Anger and yelling
- Infidelity
Things to keep in mind
To add, if you have a troubled relationship, seeking help is more effective than ignoring your problems. Also, another mistake is hoping marriage issues get better on their own. Fortunately, a professional can really help build connection and clarity. Sometimes taking the first step by admitting the relationship needs help is the hardest part.
Here are some things to keep in mind when considering marriage counseling:
At first, it might be hard to talk about your problems with the counselor. Sometimes, sessions may have moments of silence, or they may feel angry over perceived wrongs. So, know that your Wisdom Within Counseling couples therapist is trained to help you break these fights up. Maybe, you are stuck yelling or arguing. So, if this happens during sessions, that will help your therapist understand your conflict cycle. Your therapist can act as a referee and help you cope with the resulting emotions.
Also, you can go by yourself. Therefore, if your partner refuses to attend marriage counseling sessions, you can still attend. Often, individual therapy is part of marriage counseling. It’s more challenging to mend a relationship this way. But, you can benefit by learning more about your reactions and behavior.
Therapy is often short term. Some people need only a few sessions of marriage counseling, while others need it for several months. The specific treatment plan will depend on your situation. Sometimes, marriage counseling helps couples discover that their differences truly are irreconcilable and that it’s best to end the relationship. Sessions can then focus on skills for ending the relationship on good terms.
You might have homework. So, your counselor might suggest communication exercises at home. And, these to help you practice what you’ve learned during your session. For example, talk face-to-face with your partner for a few minutes every day about non-stressful things. Often, couples talk about stressful, angry topics for far too long at home. Also, set aside couple bubble time or sexual time without any interruptions from TVs, phones or children.
Also, you or your partner might need additional care. So, if one of you is coping with mental illness, substance abuse or other issues, you may need more help. Therefore, your therapist might work with other health care providers to provide more complete treatment.
Conclusion
Working through infidelity can often strengthen a relationship. But, it’s essential for both you and your partner to be honest about what you can and can’t do on your own. Overall, couples therapy is a beautiful committment to in your relationship. And, marriage counseling can help you maintain open communication going forward. From couples therapy, you may be able to save your marriage by addressing issues head on. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we offer a holistic approach to helping high conflict couples. And, a marriage counselor can be very helpful resource when both spouses want to get the relationship back on track. We help couples who want to stay together build a positive coping toolbox.
To begin, click the pink button below to book a free 30 minute phone consult for positive communication skills and a stronger bond.
About Wisdom Within Counseling
The team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling in Connecticut specialize in yoga therapy and holistic therapies. In addition to traditional talk counseling, art, yoga, music, and outdoor walk and talk therapies are available. Overall, holistic therapies offer positive coping tools for nurturing relationships. Sometimes, intense feelings like anger, betrayal, jealousy, and sadness can feel overwhelming. In therapy, yoga, meditation, and mindfulness skills support self-love. And, yoga therapy and art therapies give children and adults alike healthy outlets for stress. Plus, our team of marriage and family therapists offer counseling online to residents of Florida and Connecticut. Now, telehealth and video sessions are always available.
How does marriage counseling in Fairfield County begin?
We begin all marriage counseling services with a pre-intake, free 30 minute phone consultation. To start, schedule that using the pink button below. Then, we schedule your couples intake. Also, we do highly suggest weekly or twice a week appointments, especially after high conflict fights. Overall, regular marriage counseling in Fairfield County creates a healthy, strong, playful romantic relationship. To add, weekly appointments expedite growth, communication skills, and healing. Then, your therapist will ask questions about your past hurt, goals, couple unit and life.
Holistic marriage counseling in Fairfield County for security and emotional trust
Moreover, marriage therapy lays a foundation for your goals for intimacy, closeness, trust in a strong couple bubble, meaningful connection, and positive healing in marital therapy. Also, it is good to note that marriage counseling and couples therapy can be an amazing investment in getting to know each other again. And, you can create a safe, secure bubble around healthy communication, for you, and your next generation too!
