LGBTQIA+ Definitions and Terms 

LGBTQIA+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/ questioning, intersex, and asexual/ androgynous. This acronym is commonly used to refer to the entire community.- 

*Lesbian: a woman who is attracted to other women. There are different terms for types of lesbians such as femme, chapstick lesbian, and masc based on how femininely or masculinely they present- 

*Gay: a man who is attracted to other men (this term is also commonly used to mean someone who is attracted to the same gender or homosexuality not limited to men). There are also different terms for types of gay men based on their presentation or preferences- 

Bisexual: a person attracted to both women and men- 

Transgender: a person whose gender does not match their sex assigned at birth commonly referred to as “trans”- 

Queer: a term people often use to express a spectrum of identities and orientations. Queer used to be used as a slur but has now been reclaimed by the community- 

Questioning: a term used to describe people who are in the process of exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity- 

Intersex: someone born with differences in their sex traits and reproductive anatomy. There is a wide variety of difference among intersex variations, including differences in genitalia, chromosomes, gonads, internal sex organs, hormone production, hormone response, and/or secondary sex traits. It is estimated that 1 – 2 out of 100 births in the United States are intersex.- 

Asexual: Someone with little or no sexual interest or pleasure commonly referred to as “ace”- 

Androgynous: someone who possesses both feminine and masculine personality traits

Let’s talk about gender identity.

Sex assigned at birth refers to how someone is described when they are born based on their external anatomy (i.e. female, male, or intersex)- 

Female: someone born with female reproductive/ sex characteristics- 

Male: someone born with male reproductive/ sex characteristics- 

Intersex: someone born with differences in their sex traits and reproductive anatomy. There is a wide variety of difference among intersex variations, including differences in genitalia, chromosomes, gonads, internal sex organs, hormone production, hormone response, and/or secondary sex traits. It is estimated that 1 – 2 out of 100 births in the United States are intersex.

*Gender identity refers to how someone perceives their innermost selves – 

Cisgender: someone whose gender matches their sex assigned at birth- 

Nonbinary: someone who does not identify as a woman or a man- 

Gender- nonconforming: someone who does not behave in ways that conform to traditional gender expectations- 

Gender queer: someone who rejects the notion of static gender identities and embraces fluidity. They may see themselves as being both male and female, neither male nor female or as falling completely outside these categories- 

Gender questioning: someone who is in the process of exploring their gender identity- 

Gender fluid: a person who does not identify with a single fixed gender or has a fluid or unfixed gender identity- 

Transgender: a person whose gender does not match their sex assigned at birth- 

Bi-gender: someone who likes to express their gender and identify as both a woman and man. In Native American culture this is referred to as “two spirited”

How is sexual orientation different than gender?

*Sexual Orientation refers to someone’s physical, or sexual attraction- 

Homosexual: someone who is attracted to the same gender that they identify as- 

Heterosexual: someone who is attracted to the opposite gender- 

Bisexual: a person attracted to both women and men- 

Pansexual: someone who is attracted to any gender- 

Asexual: Someone with little or no sexual interest or pleasure commonly referred to as “ace”

What is romantic orientation?

*Romantic Orientation refers to someone’s emotional or romantic attraction- 

Demiromantic: someone who only develops romantic feelings for others if they have a strong emotional connection to them- 

Heteroromantic: someone who is romantically attracted to the opposite gender- 

Homoromantic: someone who is romantically attracted to the same gender- 

Biromantic: someone who is romantically attracted to women and men- 

Panromantic: someone who is romantically attracted to any gender- 

Polyromantic: someone who is romantically attracted to multiple but not all genders- 

*Aromantic: someone who experiences limited or no romantic attraction to others

*Relationship types:- 

Monogamy: an exclusive consensual relationship between two people- 

*Polygamy: a consensual intimate, loving, relationship between more than two people. There can be multiple variations of partnerships within polygamy- 

Polygyny: one man is married to several women- 

Polyandry: one woman is married to several men – 

Mono-poly: a consensual relationship where one partner in the relationship is monogamous and the other has multiple partners- 

Primary Partner: a consensual relationship where one partner is the main partner and takes priority above all other relationships- 

Nesting Partner(s): partners who live together- 

Dyad: two people in a relationship – 

Triad: three people in a relationship – 

Quad: four people in a relationship – 

Vee/V/Hinge: Three people in a relationship where one person is dating two other people, but those two people are not in a relationship with on another- 

Open Relationship: a consensual relationship between two people who may have multiple other sexual partners outside of the main relationship- 

Closed Relationship: partners are not allowed to seek more partners than the current agreed upon number- 

Swinging: Partners who have a relationship that is open for platonic sexual encounters

*Other common LGBTQIA+ terms:- 

Ally: someone who does not belong to the LGBTQIA+ community, but supports equal rights, gender equality, and LGBTQIA+ social movements- 

Pronouns or Neo-pronouns: Words to refer to someone else without using their name i.e.she/her, he/him, or they/them. Neo-pronouns are new pronouns used in place of typical pronouns such as ze/zir- 

Outing: refers to when a third-party disclosure someone’s “new” gender or sexual identity without their consent- 

Homophobia: Prejudice and/or discrimination against gay or lesbian individuals – 

Biphobia: Prejudice and/or discrimination against bisexual individuals- 

Transphobia: Prejudice and/or discrimination against transgender individuals

*This is not a comprehensive list of LGBTQIA+ terminology. This is meant to serve as a starting place for family members and individuals who are unfamiliar with the LGBTQIA+ community. There are many more terms within each of these groups.

Let’s learn about LGBTQIA+ flags

Many of these groups within the LGBTQIA+ community have their own flags as well. Here is what some of them mean:

This article was written by Renee Triller, an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling.

If you or your child want to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ community and how you might fit into it, you can use the pink button below to book a phone consult to meet with Renee for counseling or any of the other wonderful therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling.