Why is my son leaving me as a mother? How can my daughter just cut me off like this?
Your daughter or son may have their own emotions that they are working through. Regardless, cut offs are very painful emotionally. Sometimes, it is easier for an adult child to cut you off rather than deal with difficult conversations. For many parents, especially dealing with an estranged child, it can feel confusing, painful, hurtful, and scary. Your son or daughter may be moving through anger, anxiety, and their own confusion. Sometimes, adult children cut off their parents due to a developmental transition. It may feel like your child no longer loves you when they withdraw. Over time, your adult child may begin talking with you again, or a cut off may be more long term. Family estrangement counseling provides a safe place to build better communication. To restore cut offs, Wisdom Within Counseling offers holistic therapies including art, yoga, drama, music, and walking by the beach.
How can estrangement counseling help me heal?
Your son or daughter is not pulling away because they love you less. They are often confused, hurt, anxious and angry. There is a normal separation all parents and children go through. However, when there are big problems, your child may stop speaking to you or other members of your family. Furthermore, each adult child may feel more or less angry at their parents. Some families have better communication skills than others. Also, traumas can cause estrangements in families. Family therapy for estrangement counseling can help families come closer together.
How do I heal after my child has cut me out of their life?
Often, it can come as a surprise when your adult child stops speaking to you. First, you get blocked on social media. Then, you can’t get through when you call them. It can feel scary to not have communication with your adult child too. As a parent, you love them very much. However, there are some things within your control that you can do to heal. Unfortunately, you can’t control them right now. First, building communication on your own through therapy can be helpful. You can have a safe place to process this painful, challenging, and emotional experience. At Wisdom Within Counseling, the team offers creative, holistic therapies to help you release challenging emotions like loss.
In what ways can holistic family estrangement counseling support me now?
Estrangement therapy can be a safe place to talk about your feelings as a parent. Having your child set a boundary and stop talking to you may bring up anger, anxiety, and fear. Also, you may feel angry at your child because you feel hurt by their decision to stop talking. As well, you may feel afraid that your child will never speak to you ever again. Often, estrangement therapy can help you process fears and worries. Thinking negatively or thinking the worst is common for parent. Being on the other other side and not talking can be very difficult when you love your child. Communicating your hurt, sadness, and grief to your estrangement therapist can be a healthy outlet. Your therapist can help you nurture yourself, so when you child wants to speak again, you can be calm and balanced.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for family estrangement counseling.
How do I let go of an estranged son or daughter?
Now, letting go of an estranged son or daughter, a good first step is not feeding the anger. Mourn, cry, be sad, and feel it all. Your child may have just sent you an angry text or left you a mad voicemail. Right now, you may want to yell back. You may want to feed the negative attention or give the hurt right back. But, don’t get into an angry argument with your adult child. This is will only make the situation worse. Instead of being angry or regretful, focus on self- care. Especially, certain holidays like mother’s day or father’s day can be triggering for you. Often, parents will schedule therapy sessions on these holidays to reduce intense feelings. On these tough days, treat yourself to a lunch with friends, manicure, haircut, yoga class, massage, or new outfit.
How can family estrangement counseling help parents focus on self-care in healing?
Secondly, goto yoga classes, drinking plenty of water, have fruits and veggies, and get good sleep. Taking good care of yourself will be important during this transition. As your adult child steps away from you, don’t judge yourself. You are still worthy as a parent and worthy of self-care. Instead, focus your attention on yourself, pick up a new hobby, and start meditating nightly. You don’t need to beat yourself up during this time of estrangement. Seeking counseling can help you attract healthy relationships where friends give back to you. Also, your estrangement therapist can help you create a self-care and self-nurturing routine. So, when you mind remembers loss and pain, you can switch to the positive and to your self-care routine. Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in trauma and loss. For some parents, being on the other side of an estrangement feels like a major unexpected loss and trauma.
What is another tip for when you are estranged and cut off from your child?
Additionally, listen to your child. Your adult child may be asking you to change. Learning to communicate in a better way is important moving forward. Also, apologizing for the past is always okay. For instance, your adult child may yell at you about a painful memory from their childhood. Maybe, they remember a time when you were drunk or you were suffering from alcoholism. Now, you are sober and in recovery. It is common for parents to get defensive or yell back.
Instead, focus on not being defensive or critical to help restore family estrangements.
Take ownership as a parent. Even if you do not share the same memory as your adult child, be mindful they had a different experience than you. Step away from blame game to restore estrangements. Make sure to stay calm when your child is speaking to you, even if they get upset or angry. Likewise, listen to their pain and see where you can make changes in yourself. Maybe, your son or daughter feels safer or calmer when there is no alcohol at a family gathering in the future. So, ask what you can do to help them feel safer reconnecting. Making small changes in your life can have a big impact on your parent-child relationship.
Family estrangement counseling can help when your texts and calls are being ignored
If you find that your phone If your child has cut you out, you might feel really sad, confused, or even angry. It is really normal for you as a parent, to feel hurt and upset. Not having any closure can be really difficult. In addition, your child may have corralled other relatives to cut you off too.
You might feel like an outcast and misunderstood as a parent.
If your son or daughter asks for no contact, it may be very difficult, but honor their request. Also, you might try to ask questions to show curiosity. For instance, they might not want you to contact them via a phone call, but they might be okay with you emailing or texting. In addition, you may ask why they want no contact.
Just know that no contact with your child may be really difficult emotionally.
So, working with a therapist can help give you the emotional support and coping strategies you need. Lastly, you could offer your son or daughter at family counseling sessions to talk about this emotional decision. The fact that your son or daughter is cutting ties means they are going through a lot of different emotions too.
Sometimes, when parents respect no contact, it makes an adult child feel more respect. From there, over a couple months of no contact, an adult child may reach out once they have calmed down.
Having the safety of family estrangement therapy can help everyone talk about past trauma and heal together without the need for a cut off.
It may be really hurtful if your son or daughter send packages and letters back to you.
You may not have access to a relationship with your nieces or nephews, or your grandchildren. Due to family estrangement, you may feel a really high level of rejection. You have given your child a love for so many years of their life. It might feel impossible to get back to those beautiful childhood moments. Family estrangement counseling can help you gain acceptance, heal from loss, and clarity.
To begin, click the button below for a phone consult for family estrangement counseling.
When your letters go and acknowledged, holistic therapy helps you process these painful emotions.
You can read the letters to your family estrangement therapist. As well, any letters or gifts he would have sent to your child or grandchildren, you can talk about and bring to your therapy session. With your family estrangement therapist, you can grieve, heal, and process sad emotions. Counseling allows you to have the ability to tell your story in a healing way. Essentially, family estrangement therapy can help you keep them alive in your life. Also, you can tell the stories of your children, even if they don’t want to be in your life. Even if your child or grandchildren are not in your life, therapy can be helpful for healing family estrangements.
You Did Not Cause Your Adult Child to Turn Away
Working with an estrangement therapist can help you step away from guilt. Parents naturally carry guilt. For one, you did not cause your adult child to withdraw. Sometimes, it might feel like they are blaming you or they feel like they had a horrific childhood. And, they say it was all your fault. Therapy can help you understand that the love you gave your child was valid. Often times, adult children may think a cut off helps to lower anxiety. However, the anxiety will still be there for them. Working with a family therapist can help you gain the ability to solve differences in a calm way.
In addition, you can start to realize what is inside of your control and that your child’s decision is outside of your control.
Therapy can also help you learn to nurture other, more positive people in your life. Even if these people might not be biologically related, you can still open your heart to friends at church, or be like a surrogate parent to someone in need. Furthermore, it is normal to feel a sense of loss and grief. As well, you might feel like you have made so many mistakes as a parent and feel regret. In estrangement counseling, you can learn to connect with other members of your family. Also, you can learn to attract friends and make your own chosen family. Acceptance, clarity, and confidence are possible in estrangement counseling. As a parent, you can learn to create your own healing in counseling.
When a Relationship Becomes Unmanageable, Estrangements Occur
Right now, it might feel like your heart has a massive hole. In that hole, are the memories of your child playing carefree. When your child was younger, you loved him so much. Now that they are an adult, that’s cut off in the silence they are creating leads you to feel embarrassment and shame. When you go out in public, you can’t talk about your adult child without feeling sad. Essentially, it doesn’t feel like there are any other adults in your situation.
Therapy can help you deal with this sad disengagement.
Often times, adult children do not truly understand the heartbreak they caused by creating an estrangement. Also, adult children will sometimes feel like the only thing they can do to manage anxiety or anger is discard the relationship with their parent. Furthermore, it might feel like too much for your child to bear to continue talking with you. Whatever their reason, the pain, grief, and sadness may feel unmanageable. At times, you just think back to those good childhood memories. Crying is always okay. At Wisdom Within Counseling, our team of therapists specialize in family estrangement counseling, trauma, and loss.
Therapy can help you, as a parent, focus back on yourself.
You can develop the confidence to practice self-care through this loss, sadness, and trauma. As well, if and when your adult child does want a relationship in the future, you can be clear and calm to do so. Reconnecting after a family estrangement takes time, patience, acceptance, and a safe therapeutic space. Let’s connect! The team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling offer estrangement counseling.
When Dealing with Estranged Adult Children – Family Estrangement Counseling
If you are looking to heal after your adult child has cut you out or cut you off, holistic estrangement counseling can be helpful. You can talk about positive, holistic strategies for dealing with anger, anxiety, and frustration. As well, at Wisdom Within Counseling, we offer creative art therapies, yoga therapy, music, drama, and outdoor walk and talk sessions. In addition, we offer estrangement counseling to residents of Massachusetts, Florida, and Connecticut.
We offer video and phone counseling to Bethel, Bridgeport, Brookfield, Cos Cob, Danbury, Darien, Easton, Fairfield, Georgetown, Greenwich, Hawleyville, Monroe, New Canaan, New Fairfield, Newtown, Norwalk, Old Greenwich, Redding, Redding Center, Redding Ridge, Ridgefield, Riverside, Sandy Hook, Shelton, Sherman, Southport, Stamford, Stratford, Trumbull, Weston, Westport, and Wilton, Connecticut. As well, we offer phone and video counseling in Florida.
