As an infant, your sibling is your first best friend. You may have fond memories of doing everything together and feeling close with them. As well, you spent countless nights playing outside, laughing, pretending, and spending quality time as a family. Maybe, you shared a room together or received their hand-me-down clothes. Sibling relationships are extremely powerful in that they provide a sense of security, unconditional love, everlasting friendship. The therapists at Wisdom Within specialize in sibling estrangement counseling.
As an adult now, you may find that your sibling is emotionally and physically distant.
To add, sibling bonds help us feel confident, and ultimately contribute to shaping our view of the world. Maybe a big fight occurred, or you chose to value different beliefs and lifestyles. You no longer speak with one another and you may feel a great sense of guilt, devastation, sadness, betrayal, hurt, and anger. Sibling estrangement is immensely painful and continues to hurt one throughout their lifetime.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
The therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling help you cope with the emotions that go along with sibling estrangement.
Family estrangement is a much more common phenomena than you may have been lead to believe. Many people do not address or avoid the topic of estrangement in conversation for fear of receiving ridicule or judgement from others. You may feel sad or embarrassed your sibling has separated from you.
You may feel jealous of other people who still get to have a relationship with their sibling.
Many refer to estrangement as the silent epidemic. There are emotions of grief, denial, and even depression. For that reason, it is understandable that you may not want to share about such a sad loss with friends. You may feel sad that you have never met your grandchild or nieces and nephews, or that you haven’t spoken with your sister or daughter in years. In sibling estrangement counseling at Wisdom Within, you can talk about the grief, loss, hurt, and confusion you are experiencing.
Sibling estrangement can feel like a death and family estrangement counseling can help you cope.
It be even more sad because you know others get to have a relationship with your sibling when you don’t. The therapists at Wisdom Within specialize in sibling estrangement counseling can help you cope in positive ways.
As family therapists, we can assure you that you are not alone in experiencing family estrangement. We see and treat family estrangement all across the board, as it affects individuals of every age, race, gender, socioeconomic status, and geographic location. No matter how old you are, your sibling may suddenly block your phone calls and cut you out. It can feel shocking to be cut out and not permitted to be in your sibling’s life. A part of you knows you have always been there as a good sibling and been caring to them. Another part of you regrets not being there more, in hopes you could still have a relationship with your sibling.
Family and sibling estrangement counseling can help you share the good memories of your childhood together.
For instance, you were there when they were going up, helped them against bullies on the playground, and loved being siblings. As well, you feel like you can’t concentrate when you are at work as you wonder what you could have done to prevent this major change in your relationship. You wonder if your sibling is suffering from mental health issues, or if they have cut others out too. Sometimes, you feel overcome with grief when you see your friends posting on social media photos getting together with their siblings and their intact families. The therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling specialize in family and sibling estrangement counseling.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
You get a safe place to process, reflect, and grieve the loss of the relationship you hoped you could have with your sibling in adulthood.
Fortunately, you can receive support by working with the therapists at Wisdom Within who specialize in sibling estrangement counseling. Family estrangement counseling allows you to understand and process your past with your siblings. You can talk about what has happened that caused the estrangement. As well, in sibling estrangement counseling, you can talk about where you can go from here.
What Does Family Mean to You?
Across the board, family can mean many different things. It can consist of biologically and non-biologically related individuals. Family can include different types of caregivers and guardians. As well, your family may be a blended family with step parents or siblings, adoptive children, family friends etc.
According to traditional societal norms, the nuclear family consists of two parents and their children whom stick by each other throughout the lifetime. Our society places an emphasis on the importance of familial relationships and devotion to one’s family unit. Often, families are a culture in and of themselves. Each family has different values, morals, and a different sense of what is normal. Families may share common values, traditions, norms, beliefs, ideologies, and practices. Ultimately, these influences within your family shape your development and worldview.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can work with a therapist who specializes in sibling and family estrangement therapy.
With regards to family estrangement, it is important to recognize that when a family member chooses to leave the group, society often frowns upon this. Dealing with sibling estrangement counseling can make going to family gatherings and holidays uncomfortable and painful. You may feel immense sadness around the holidays, feeling isolated, left out, or unwanted. When you are on the opposite side of a family estrangement, it is normal to feel like an outcast or black sheep. Your family as well as your estranged sibling may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty.
These are big, intense emotions that sibling estrangement counseling and working with a family estrangement therapist can help with.
Internalizing these painful emotions can cause greater distress. As well, you may find self-doubt, anxiety, or self-blame creeps into your mind. Developing healthy outlets and strategies for releasing negative emotions can be a part of family and sibling estrangement counseling. The therapists at Wisdom Within specialize in sibling estrangement counseling. Your therapist can talk with your about your family culture and what having an intact family means to you. As well, you may want help understanding the intense emotions you are experiencing like shame, guilt, anxiety, and sadness.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
How Sibling Estrangement Can Impact You Emotionally
Feeling like you lost your life-long best friend is a deep, unsettling pain. You think about your sibling every day and are reminded of the memories you share together. It may feel like a pain that you will never truly heal from or come to terms with it. Estrangement can be confusing, frustrating, and even heartbreaking. You remember good memories with your estranged sibling every time you drive by something that reminds you of them.
Many times, when it comes to sibling estrangement, it feels as though you never get closure.
Maybe, you lay awake at night constantly wondering what it is you did wrong. A part of you wants to assume blame. You do not know what caused your sibling to stop speaking with you. Maybe, you rack your brain trying to find answers to a seemingly impossible question. Sometimes, you wonder how your sibling could forget all the fun, positive memories and write you off completely. It can hurt to feel unnecessary and unneeded to a loved one. You may feel desperate as you think about ways to reconnect with your sibling. At Wisdom Within Counseling, sibling estrangement therapy can give you a form of comfort and closure. You can gain clarity on this painful, abrupt change in your sibling relationship in estrangement counseling. Not receiving any answers can cause you to feel overwhelmed with emotions such as confusion and betrayal.
Family and sibling estrangement counseling can support clarity
Or, maybe you do not want to receive closure because you do not want to accept the possibility that your relationship with your sibling is over for good. You do not want to officially let go of your sibling. Moving on does not feel right in your heart. Additionally, you may ache for this person to be back in your life. You feel guilty for trying to move on without them.
Often times, having an estranged family member can feel like going through a death in the family.
You may be grieving the loss of this person, even though they are still alive. Things may happen throughout your day that you wish to share with them, yet you can’t because they won’t return your calls. Your visions of spending holidays and vacations with your children and spouse and your sibling and their family may be shattered. As well, you are now also grieving the loss of what you thought your life was going to look like. Growing up, you always pictured you and your sibling staying close and laughing around the dinner table.
When you reach out, your sibling may be leaving your messaged unread. Having to cope with this grief is unlike any other feeling. And, no one really gets or understands the pain you are experiencing. It seems like all of your friends still have intact relationships with their siblings, and you feel alone. The team of family estrangement specialists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you cope with this loss. Sibling estrangement counseling can be a safe place to gain confidence about this big change in your family.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
Common Causes of Family and Sibling Estrangement
There may be one, singular reason that a family member is estranged. Or, there may be a multitude of reasons that individual has chosen to distance themself. There may be little to no communication between you and the estranged family member, or there may be no contact at all for months on end. Estrangement can be a sudden and surprising event, where the individual one day decides to go no contact. It can also be a gradual event, with less and less contact occurring over time until the relationship has fizzled out. Each sibling estrangement can be very painful emotionally, but look different. The team of therapists at Wisdom Within Counseling can help you if you are dealing with sibling estrangement.
Family issues are a reason for sibling estrangement
Sibling estrangement may occur due to highly personal or sensitive topics within a family unit. There may have been abuse, neglect, betrayal, bullying, substance abuse, or destructive behavior that occurred within the family. Family conflict, rivalry, competition, or feeling that you parents displayed favoritism for certain children can also contribute to sibling estrangement.
There may be a history of family trauma that has never been brought to the surface. Experiencing sexual, physical, and emotional trauma can cause one sibling to become estranged from others. Leaving painful and traumatizing events unaddressed between siblings can create distance between one another. Sibling estrangement counseling at Wisdom Within can be a safe place for you and your sibling to heal from past trauma.
You may place blame upon yourself or feel guilty for allowing the events to unfold. As well, you may wish you could have protected your sibling in some way from trauma. This guilt can drive a wedge between your family.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
As well, there may have been a massive conflict where your sibling was angry all of a sudden. Yelling, name calling, and anger explosions are common causes of family estrangement. If you experience anger or negative communication when you try to reach out, you can benefit from sibling estrangement counseling.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
Personal Issues
An estranged family member may have distanced themself due to their own personal mental health reasons. Your estranged sibling may be struggling with a mental illness. As a result of bi-polar disorder, major depressive disorder, or a personality disorder, they may feel that separating from the family is best.
If your sibling has certain personality traits, it may be more challenging for them to maintain long-lasting relationships. Borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder may cause your sibling to estrange from your family. Individuals with self-centered or narcissistic qualities may feel that they are better than their parents and siblings. If your siblings has borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder, they may separate themselves.
Sibling estrangement counseling can help you remove self-blame when your sibling has mental health problems.
Family members who are emotionally immature also are commonly estranged. Emotional immaturity often goes hand-in-hand with having anger issues or ineffective styles of communication. Your sibling individual may avoid resolving a conflict because they do not want to admit to any wrongdoings. Or, every time you speak with your estranged sibling, they lash out at you, blame you, and fail to take responsibility. At Wisdom Within Counseling, you can talk about how healthy sibling relationships take two people. If you are the only one putting in effort, your sibling estrangement counselor can help you recognize that you may be doing all the work. Your sibling will need to mindfully and intentionally improve their communication skills to also create a better sibling relationship too. Sibling estrangement counseling can be for you, or for you and your sibling, and helps foster healthy communication skills.
Belief systems can lead to sibling estrangement
Maybe, you and your sibling have different beliefs or practices. Politics may be a driving force that is tearing your sibling away from you. You may struggle to understand one another’s perspectives on certain political debates. If unresolved, this can lead you to developing hostility or disapproval towards one another.
In addition to politics, different religious ideologies or backgrounds can also be a cause for concern. Your family grew up Catholic and now your sibling has chosen to leave the religion and not raise their children in the church. Or, the reverse may be true, and your sibling adheres strongly to a new religion and you feel it has caused a strain in your relationship. At Wisdom Within Counseling, meeting with a therapist together can help you create healthy boundaries to have a healthy sibling relationship.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
Sibling estrangement counseling can help siblings accept and understand one another more deeply rather than being disapproving of each other’s life choices.
Maybe, you disagree on how to parent and raise your children. Your sibling likes things done one way, whereas you want things done your way. As well, you may not trust sending your children over to their aunt’s or uncle’s house. To note, sibling estrangement counseling can help cousins have relationships with each other, even when siblings may feel anxious towards one another.
Your sibling may prohibit their children from connecting with you, leading to more sadness. So, sibling estrangement counseling can help you express to your sibling how important your relationships with your nieces and nephews are. With the calm presence of your therapist, you can talk about what spending time with your nieces and nephews looks like. Family and sibling estrangement counseling can help siblings create healthy boundaries fore both to feel safe, rather than feeling a cut off is the only option.
Sibling estrangement counseling can help siblings regain closeness
Oftentimes, there is an estranged sibling or child due to big life changes and external factors. A move across the country puts physical distance between an individual and their family. In this circumstance, it is easy for estrangement to occur due to a lack of communication and time spent together. Family and sibling estrangement counseling gives you a set aside time each week to regain closeness.
Sometimes, a sibling becomes estranged due to an abusive or controlling partner.
Your sibling’s partner may prevent them from seeing and talking to any outside forces, including their immediate family members. In some cases, your sibling is in a marriage with a person who moved them to another country that has less rights for women. Certain countries do not allow women to own a cell phone, or learn to read. In this case, your siblings may be in an unhealthy relationship and you have your own concerns.
When your sibling is in a relationship where there is threatening behavior on their partner’s part, you may feel sacred for their wellbeing. When you try to talk to your sibling about leaving their abusive relationship or marriage, they make excuses and protect their abusive spouse. Being estranged from a sibling or child due to their partner’s abusive behavior can be a major cause for concern. In sibling estrangement counseling, you can talk with your therapist about the safety concerns you have regarding your sibling.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
Estrangement can Lead to Adverse Mental Health Effects
If left unresolved, estrangement from a sibling can significantly impact your mental and emotional wellbeing. Going about your life without your sibling can feel like a detriment. Maybe, you wake up every day with a broken heart, you have no interest in the activities you once loved, and you feel hopeless. You can use sibling estrangement counseling to cope with depression and anxiety in healthy ways. It is important that the emotions from sibling estrangement are talked through with a professional therapist. Processing what you are feeling with a family therapist allows you to heal from past hurt and move forward in a way that best serves your needs. If you sibling does reach out at some point in the future, you can be calm and ready to mend the relationship.
Family and Sibling Estrangement Can Be Traumatic
It is important to recognize that estrangement from a sibling or family member can be a traumatizing and devastating experience for yourself. Family and sibling estrangement counseling can support all family members involved. You may find that you are experiencing adverse or negative symptoms while coping with the loss of your loved one. Anxiety, loss, embarrassment, anger, sadness, grief, and jealousy are normal feeling you can talk about in sibling estrangement counseling. It is possible that you could be experiencing heightened symptoms of trauma or PTSD.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
Estrangement Can Contribute to Depressive Symptoms
Months have gone by without hearing from your sibling, and you haven’t felt like yourself since. Maybe, you notice that you are not sleeping well at night. Or, you feel increasingly agitated or hopeless, and activities in your life seem to lose meaning. The hobbies you once enjoyed no longer seem as fun. These are common symptoms of a depression, which can occur as a result of unresolved, painful sibling estrangement. In sibling estrangement therapy, at Wisdom Within Counseling, you can gain positive coping tools. Your family estrangement therapist can teach you mindfulness meditation skills. To add, you can use creative therapies like art and painting to help you express your emotions. You may also enjoy going for a walk and talk therapy session on the beach. Holistic therapies can help you feel centered and grounded while coping with loss and grief.
Healing from Sibling Estrangement: Where to go From Here?
Estrangement from a sibling or family member can hurt for a lifetime. It is one of the most difficult experiences to cope with and heal from. So, you may be wondering, where can I go from here?
Fortunately, there are steps you can take to alleviate some of the sadness, pain, and anger you may still feel after all this time.
Start by writing a letter to your estranged family member.
It does not have to be sent or shared with them, but can be for your own wellbeing. Write everything you wish you could tell them, from life updates to all your emotions in between. You can keep the letter to yourself, or discard it when you’re done. Writing in itself is an emotionally healing activity you can do to help process your feelings and let go of them in a healthy way.
Setting and sticking to boundaries is another way you can cope with the estrangement.
Maybe, the estranged individual only contacts you when they need something, leaving you feeling used and even more frustrated. Know when it is appropriate to say, “This is not okay,” and allow yourself to put your foot down. Boundaries give you back your power.
Click the button below for a phone consult to begin with a therapist at Wisdom Within who specializes in sibling estrangement counseling.
Practice self-care
Taking time to replenish your needs can help you feel like your authentic self and can alleviate overwhelming painful emotions. Estrangement from a family member can leave a lot of free-time time to yourself, so allow yourself to be selfish in those moments. Go for walks to clear your mind, journal, meditate, bake a dessert, or treat yourself.
Find a therapist that specializes in family estrangement.
It is imperative that you seek a relational therapist that has experience in supporting estranged families. A family estrangement therapist serves as a neutral, third party and can help you process and cope with past painful events. Your sibling estrangement counselor at Wisdom Within can help you talk about the traumas, thoughts, and emotions related to the estrangement.
Wisdom Within Counseling Specializes in Family Estrangement
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we have a team of family therapists that specialize in family estrangement counseling. Our therapists are trained to provide effective communication skills. You can gain insight on what your sibling is needing to feel emotionally safe developing a relationship again. As well, you can develop positive coping techniques to release anger and jealousy when they arise. In sibling estrangement therapy at Wisdom Within Counseling, you can process the overwhelming emotions that go hand-in-hand with estrangement. Wether you are dealing with anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, or anger, you can receive support. Unlike a death, sibling estrangement can be very painful as you know your sibling is living a happy life without you. When you feel upset or triggered, you can talk with your family estrangement therapist about holistic ways to gain acceptance. We would love to support you and help heal the wounds in your heart.
