When your teenager has an eating disorder or OCD around food, it can make holidays more stressful.
Why are the holidays so hard for people with eating disorders and food OCD?
Let’s be clear, the holidays can be difficult for everyone. Gathering can be triggering and irritating to some. Loss of loved ones and holidays without them are sadder. Cooking can be happy and also overwhelming. Holidays are beautiful and stressful at the same time. But, for someone with an eating disorder eating in public settings around judgmental family members can be hard. Holidays and eating disorders are challenging to navigate, but therapy and these tips can help.
What makes eating disorder therapy and food OCD helpful?
On holidays, people tend to stand around judging how much other people are eating and weighing. As well, people who talk about the amount of food someone else is eating should be minding their own business. Maybe, these are your dearest loved ones and family members. But, it is hard to face all this body shame and criticism nonetheless. Since all people do is talk about food, food habits, fad dieting, and keto diets, and skinny looks, and cutting calories, therapy can help you love yourself! Therapy for eating disorder recovery and food OCD can help promote positive self-talk. Next time you hear someone judging you, you can feel confident responding to them calmly. Now, with all this talk about body shame, what are the common body and weight comments exactly?
People sit at the table and say things like:
“Is that all you are going to eat?”
“Wow, that’s a big plate. You don’t want to get fat now, do you?”
“I have not eaten anything today and skipped my meals, so that I can eat as much as I want tonight.”
“Did you lose weight? You look so much healthier!”
“You look so thin, how do you do it?”
“I wish I had your body! Can you magically take 15 pounds off of me and put it on you?”
“Have you put on weight?”
“I already bought my gym membership for January to make up for all this food.”
“Holiday calories don’t count.”
“I’ll start the diet tomorrow.”
“I am starting a new diet of only bacon, iceberg lettuce, and cream cheese. No carbs is healthy!”
“I am trying Intermittent fasting next month.”
“New Year’s resolution: lose 15 pounds.”
“Next year I’m cutting carbs! No fruit for me.”
“I won’t have any mashed potatoes, I’d rather have more pie”
To begin, click the pink button below to book a phone consult to start in eating disorder therapy and overcome food OCD with confidence.
How do you feel about these body shaming statements?
In general, many people struggle with self criticism, body shame, and eating issues, but don’t realize it. As a young child, your parent may have had an eating disorder like anorexia. Your parent talked down to you and criticized you for your big bones. As well, as a child, you remember watching your parent diet, skip meals, and try relentlessly to be skinnier. Even though, they were never satisfied with their weight or body shape. This shame about eating and body shape trickles down to children and they feel negative about themselves. Eating disorder therapy teaches families how to be sensitive around food topics. As well, working with a therapist who specializes with binge eating, anorexia, eating disorders, and food issues can help reduce food OCD behaviors.
It’s like over the holidays family members, friends, and people forget that food and body shape are emotional, sensitive topics.
So, let’s say you are someone who has an eating disorder. Because of your eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia, you may have anxiety about going to your family’s. Even though the gathering for the holidays may be fun, they also can’t stop thinking about the food. You may wonder about what will happen in the future and have some fears.
What are fears that we address in eating disorder therapy and when recovering from food OCD?
Sometimes, people with eating disorders fear loss of control in a public setting. So, you may be afraid of yourself, that you will eating everything in sight. You may worry that you will not be able to stop yourself from the pleasure of all the new foods. You may wonder what other people will think of you. Then, you may be afraid of the shame, guilt, and pressure that follows the next day. Thinking about the future, and eating food is overwhelming. Maybe, you wonder in anticipation if your family members will ask hundreds of questions and scrutinize you. You may be afraid or worried your family will ask you questions about their eating habits. For someone with an eating disorder, working with a therapist who specializes in disordered eating habits can help rebuild a loving, nurturing relationship with food.
What is important to know about Connecticut eating disorder therapy and food OCD?
First, parents and family members can learn to be supportive of body positive statements. So, instead of be body shaming, choose to love and accept your loved one no matter their size. Focus on seeing other people for their talents, intelligence, and creativity verses how they look or their body shape.
In addition, it is important to know that emotional panic attacks can and will happen on the holidays.
So, be prepared for meltdowns to occur and remain calm as a parent. Your child doesn’t want to be upset during the holidays. And, they are not trying to make a scene, or to be rude or to get attention. They are just trying to calm the inner conflict that is happening inside of them and silence the negative, abusive thoughts. As a parent, I know this is really sad to hear. However, a mixture of family therapy, parenting sessions, and individual counseling for your teenager with an eating disorder can help.
How to make holidays better when it comes to eating disorder therapy and food OCD?
Time to make a plan for success! Overall, any unexpected food changes cause anxiety. On that note, feelings of being unsafe, fear, uncertainty, and triggers eating disorder behaviors. Whether your teenager is restrictive of food or over eating food, a plan can support loving choices. So, the more we plan ahead, the better!
Here are a few tips on how to prepare:
Have a conversation with your child about:
The schedule for the day
Who will be there
The food that will be available
What are they most worried about
How they want you to support them
To begin, click the pink button below to book a phone consult to start in eating disorder therapy and overcome food OCD with clarity.
Code Word
- Come up with a code word that your teenager can say out loud to indicate they are struggling and need to step out.
Pick an outfit for confidence
- Help your teenager choose their outfit (make sure it is something that they feel comfortable in). It is perfectly okay to buy new clothes if your body has become bigger verses trying to squeeze into something too small.
Make plans to eat
- Make plans to EAT during the day (everyone in the family must do). This will help them realize that it’s okay to eat even when there is a “scary meal” coming up.
Educate on culture
- Remind your teenager with an eating disorder that people are victims of diet culture. And, most adults don’t even realize they have disordered eating habits. Prepare your teenager to understand that there will be conversations around weight, but that it is okay to set boundaries. For instance, your teen can say, “Can we talk about something else please?” or they can walk away from the conversation.
Reassure them you have their back
- Make sure they know YOU HAVE THEIR BACK! If you hear someone talk about dieting or calories, as a parent, you will shift the conversation.
Bring food to the gathering
- Allow your teenager with anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder to bring something with them that they are comfortable eating. This can help reduce food fears around having to eat foods you don’t like. You know you have a food dish you like there when you bring it. (e.g a protein bar, fruit bowl)
Prevent restroom use directly after a meal
- Try to prevent them from using the bathroom 30mins after eating. BUT if they do use it (and even if you think something happened) don’t make a big deal out of it there and don’t let it ruin your evening. These things happen and it is not something that needs punishment but rather understanding. You can talk about it the day after.
Give your teenager electrolytes
- Have a Gatorade with you and have them drink it at the end of the evening if you suspect they purged or if they refused to eat at all. (It can be a 0 calorie one, we need the electrolytes more than the sugar). Also, try 100% coconut water.
Focus on small wins
- Know that these days are the hardest and that a set back is not a failure, it is part of the process of recovering through eating disorder therapy.
Maintain regular, specialized eating disorder counseling
- Remember that as a group of therapists who specialize with eating disorders, we are here for you!
