Sometimes, do you wonder if you are the only person that is in love with an alcoholic?
Do you blame yourself or feel guilty for your spouse’s drinking problem?
As well, do you plea with your significant other to stop drinking?
Since you have been living with a spouse who has an alcohol use disorder, have you been feeling tired, depressed, worried, and more anxious than usual?
First of all, if someone struggles with alcoholism, they often have a diagnosis of an alcohol use disorder. Coping with an alcoholic spouse can be challenging. In addition to counseling, couples who are struggling with compulsive drinking will need support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. As well, if you do not have a problem with drinking, it can be very hard to live with someone who does. It may feel emotionally unstable living with them. Essentially, it is important to remember that you are not the cause or the cure for your spouses alcoholism. As well, spouses with alcoholism may partake in other impulsive behaviors.
Essentially, does your significant other also have affairs, be cheating, use other substances, and have other emotional challenges in addition to alcohol abuse issues?
Frequently, a person with alcoholism will live in denial. To add, they will try to rationalize how much they drink. But, the people around them will start to feel negative behaviors impacting them. If you are living with an alcoholic spouse, you may also have codependency. For example, you might take every action to make sure your spouse is okay emotionally.
As well, you may also feel responsible if your alcoholic spouse takes a drink and blame yourself.
Therapy can help you understand the common behaviors of alcoholics and how to cope with people with alcohol abuse issues.
As well, if your partner has alcohol use disorder, you may feel low in self-worth due to verbal abuse. So, holistic counseling can help you in coping with an alcoholic spouse. For instance, if your significant other has substance and alcohol abuse issues, they may yell at you or call you names. So, enduring this on a regular basis can lead you to think poorly about yourself. Maybe, when your spouse is drunk, they tell you you are worthless or annoying. Remember, your therapist can help you realize these are not true. Often times, spouses will blame themselves for their partner’s drinking.
However, from getting therapy, you can learn how to support yourself in your recovery from codependency.
Remember, you are not responsible for how your spouse handles their behaviors or emotion. However, from getting therapy, you can learn how to support them in their recovery from their alcohol use disorder.
What to say and do when living with an alcoholic
In addition, you may want therapy for yourself to let go of inner blame. For instance, if your spouse had cancer, you would not blame yourself. So, going to counseling can help you understand alcoholism in the same way.
Essentially, your spouse has a chronic disease called alcoholism and when they are drinking.
And, until they are sober, they will never be able to handle their emotions in a healthy way.
In addition, in counseling, we teach that you cannot monitor your spouse is drinking behavior. Frequently, you might count how many drinks your spouse had at a wedding. As well, you might check their phone location to learn about their whereabouts. In addition, you might try to control your spouse is drinking by removing all alcohol from your home. For one, that is a great start. But, coping with an alcoholic spouse has a lot to do with your own behaviors.
Manytimes, spouses stop prioritizing themselves.
So, when coping with an alcoholic spouse, you may goto yoga classes, support groups, and be with good friends. And, your spouse may still drive to the bar or to the package store. But, your self-care practice remain the same and strong. Commonly, Wisdom Within Counseling works with spouses who plead with their significant other to stop drinking.
But, being in love with an alcoholic means that therapy can help you rebuild your self-worth.
As well, counseling can help you release control over your spouse’s alcohol and drug use. In addition, you can learn positive coping tools to help your children understand what alcoholism is. As well, you can make alcoholism part of your family culture and bring awareness to stoping drinking. Essentially, therapy helps you release control over your spouses alcohol use, because you cannot cure it. Lastly, coping with an alcoholic spouse means letting go of control over their drinking habits.
To begin, click the button below to learn skills to begin positively coping with an alcoholic spouse.
So, therapy allows you to gain understanding and education to improve your emotional confidence.
In counseling, you can step away from care taking for them. And, you can learn to set healthy boundaries with your alcoholic spouse. In addition, when you live with a spouse who has an alcohol use disorder, you may feel tired, depressed, worried, and more anxious than usual. Essentially, your mental health becomes impacted by their drinking. For instance, one day, you wake up and they are in a good mood. The next day, you wake up and they are screaming and yelling.
Often times, when a loved one has an alcohol or drug problem, they will be emotionally unstable.
It’s important to know, that no matter how much they yell or call you names, that you are not causing them to do this to you. As well, if someone hits you, it is never your fault for them hitting you. But, when people live with an alcoholic for many years, they forget their own self-worth. In counseling, we help spouses who love someone with an alcohol use disorder learn how to set healthy boundaries. In time, you can learn to say, “No” and be firm with your boundaries. Lastly, coping with an alcoholic spouse means learning how to set and maintain boundaries.
You can learn about enabling an alcoholic in counseling
Maybe, you have done some enabling in the past. For instance, you might have enabled your spouse by getting them out of jail. As well, you may have called your spouses workplace to call out for them if they were drunk. In addition, these enabling behaviors avoid the real issue, the alcoholism. Also, alcoholism is a family disease.
So, working with a family therapist can help you understand your generational patterns.
Culture plays a role in alcoholism. So, some cultures have more alcoholism than others. In addition, going to Alcoholics Anonymous is a great support group if you struggle with alcoholism. So, if you are looking to get help immediately, I recommend going to Alcoholics Anonymous.
To begin, book a phone consult and learn more about coping with an alcoholic spouse by clicking the button below.
If your spouse is hung over or treats you with disrespect, they may have alcoholism.
Essentially, alcoholism is something that needs to be treated with professional care. In time, your spouse can get the help they need from weekly therapy. Depending on the severity of the alcoholism, your spouse might need to go to an inpatient rehab. However, no matter what’s going on with your spouse who has alcoholism, it is very important to look at your own behaviors and emotions. Often times, loved ones enable a spouse who has alcoholism.
Coping with an alcoholic spouse means learning about enabling them
Even if you do not have a problem with alcohol and you can have just one drink, it is very important to have no alcohol in your home. Even having one drink around your spouse who has an alcohol use disorder can lead them to relapse. So, do not encourage your spouse to be in an environment where there is alcohol. As well, do not bring them to a bar to go get dinner. More over, make sure to go to family functions that do not have any alcohol present to avoid temptation.
Essentially, when you live with a spouse who has an alcohol use disorder, it is important to educate your children on this disease as well.
Often times, children will have questions and will benefit from working with a family therapist. Sometimes, children show worrisome addictive behaviors in their teenage years like alcoholism. So, talk to your children about addiction and alcoholism and how to cope with it.
Coping with an alcoholic spouse means teaching children about alcoholism.
Often, children need coping strategies for dealing with a parent who is drunk. As well, children need to know that they did not cause their parent’s alcoholism. By working with a family therapist, you can learn coping tools to set healthy boundaries with your spouse. You can also learn how to take a role in peer support groups like Al-Anon or alcoholics anonymous.
To get started, book your phone consult to get placed with the best fit therapist on our team.
In addition to the weekly counseling, Alcoholics Anonymous an Al-Anon can help you respond to your spouse is negative drinking behaviors in positive ways.
In addition, Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous allow you to gain clarity. So, the next time your spouse makes excuses or is denying their behaviors, you can learn to take care of yourself. Remember, you can detach from your spouse’s negative behaviors and focus on learning coping skills. As well, Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon promote self-care.
Essentially, we teach you how to cope with an alcoholic spouse.
Overall, coping with an alcoholic spouse means having a strong self-care plan.
So, in counseling, you can learn holistic coping strategies like mindfulness meditation, exercise, art, or painting.
And, no matter what they say or do, you continue to goto the gym or get your massage. Essentially, your alcoholic spouse will try to drag you down. But, effectively coping with an alcoholic spouse mean you don’t let them get to your inner peace.
In counseling, art, yoga therapy, painting, and walking outdoors and nature can provide you coping strategies during this stressful time.
Overall, living with an alcoholic or someone that is using drugs means prioritizing your self-care. Often times, someone who is an alcoholic will tell you not to talk about what has happened. In your own recovery, from realizing you are living with an alcoholic, be honest with your friends.
Positively coping with an alcoholic spouse means staying social yourself
Also, remember you are not alone. In addition, involve friends and family to help you feel supported in your therapy process. To add, tell family and friends that there will be no alcohol allowed in your home to promote your spouses sobriety. As well, educate yourself on what your partner is going through, so you can be compassionate. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we help spouses who have a partner who is an alcoholic learn coping tools.
About Us
We are a highly specialized group of marriage and family therapists with extensive training. And, we help anxious children, depressed, self-harming teens with eating disorders, and LGBTQIA+ curious adults. As well, we help distant couples. We teach skills and positive coping tools for emotional confidence. For alcoholism, we use a trauma therapy mindset as well as the AA model. So, to learn about coping with an alcoholic spouse, you can use art, yoga, music, or walking outdoors. We offer options in addition to sitting and traditional talking to go beyond words, when needed. So, when children and adults don’t want to talk, you have choices. Essentially, you can pick from play therapy, art, yoga, meditation, music and outdoor walking therapies by the beach. Our team offers in person and video openings and a creative, relationship-building approach to helping families thrive.
