When we are in a relationship, it is often difficult to understand and process the dynamics that are occurring between us and our partner. You may be completely unaware that we are even in an abusive relationship.Taking a step back and reevaluating your relationship from an outsider’s perspective, however, may be able to offer you new insight. Wisdom Within Counseling specializes in trauma in relationship counseling.
If you are beginning to question that you are in an abusive relationship, chances are it may be true. If you and your partner get into high conflict fights, you are not alone. For some couples, relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut helps them stop yelling and learn healthy relationship skills. Wuestioning your relationship shows that you are most likely witnessing or becoming a victim to signs of abuse. Remember, abusive behavior is never your fault, as the victim. At Wisdom Within Counseling, we can help support you if you find yourself a victim of emotional or physical violence. Relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut helps couples learn healthy communication skills instead of power/control.
What does an Emotionally Abusive Relationship Look Like?
Gaslighting
Do you feel like you are always the one apologizing?
Is your partner constantly hurting you and then saying it was just a joke?
Maybe your partner keeps telling you that you are “too sensitive”.
Gaslighting is a common form of manipulation seen within abusive relationships. Holistic relationship counseling can help if you are wondering if you may be in an abusive situation. Also, attending counseling as partners and individually is very helpful. Essentially, gaslighting occurs when the abuser uses psychological means to make someone question their own sanity. As well, gaslighting may cause you, in an abusive relationship, to have anxiety, self-doubt, and feel confused. Gaslighting can sound like:
- “You’re just imagining things. You need to get your head checked.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “If you loved me you would/wouldn’t do that.”
- “You’re crazy for thinking that.”
- “This happened because of you. This is all your fault.”
- “Why did you make me do/say that to you?”
Being gaslit puts us in a very vulnerable position. You often know deep inside that you are not in the wrong. However, you do not want to further upset your partner. While being gaslit, it is common to feel guilty. You may find yourself apologizing to your abuser.
Essentially, relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut supports a more positive, different communication and interaction cycle.
Relationship counseling helps bring awareness to the abusive cycle. From communicating calmly and effectively, couples can know when abusive tendencies are occurring. As well, relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut helps couples gain self-awareness. Instead of feeling powerless, you can gain a positive, calm voice. Your partner can learn to share their deeper emotional needs in relationship counseling.
The victim is essentially taught that they are always at fault. Often, these feelings og guilt are from childhood abusive patterns too. Sometimes, victims of abuse in adulthood were also victims of abuse in childhood. And, the victim of abuse believes that the abuser can do no wrong. Over time, the abuser grooms the victim to believe in them and trust them.
Relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut helps an abusive person gain awareness for healthier communication styles.
At Wisdom Within, relationship counseling can help a victim gain confidence and self esteem back. Commonly, the victim begins to question if they are, in fact, “crazy.” Counseling at Wisdom Within can help victims overcome past abuse and feel stronger. Also, abuse causes a person to internalize a negative self-image. You can learn to let go of guilt and embrace personal empowerment. So, relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut promotes positive self-talk instead.
Click the button below for a phone consult for relationship counseling if may be in an abusive situation.
Extreme Jealousy
To a certain extent, jealousy is a common and healthy feeling to experience within relationships. However, in some cases, it can become out of control and can cause harm. Extreme jealousy is often found in many different forms within abusive relationships. For example, it can look like your partner wants to be with you constantly. Therefore, relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut supports you in communicating you want space and independence. You can have a safe place to speak up and gain a voice in you relationship.
Or, maybe your partner goes through your text messages and phone calls to monitor your communication.
Another sign of jealousy is that your partner constantly accuses you of cheating, even without reason to believe so. Jealousy can also look like your partner follows you around or frequently calls you throughout the day to track you. Your partner may also be exhibiting strange behaviors like checking your car mileage or asking friends to track you. If you have been in an abusive relationship, you may feel afraid to leave. At Wisdom Within Counseling, the team of therapists specialize in healthy attachment styles in relationship counseling.
Unrealistic Expectations
An emotionally abusive partner may create a false, idealized image of you in their head and hold you to portraying that image. If you fail to do so, your partner may blame you for not meeting their vision of “perfect.” Their unrealistic expectations of you may look like complimenting you in a way that seems superhuman. They may say things like, “I am all you need,” and “You are all I need.” Instead, a healthy person will bring confidence rather than power to the relationship. Additionally, an abusive person may be overly dependent on you for all of their needs. Lastly, they cannot accept when you do not act like the perfect person they expect you to be. If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, the team at Wisdom Within Counseling can help. Relationship counseling can help you gain self-worth, inner peace, and confidence.
Hypersensitivity in an Abusive Relationship
Moreover, an abusive partner may also demonstrate hypersensitive behaviors. Hypersensitivity occurs when an individual sees everything as a personal attack. They may constantly try to pick fights, or you may feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them. Coupled with these behaviors, an abusive individual may throw tantrums about trivial things that happen to them and solely blame others. Also, you may find that they blow small things out of proportion.
Quick Involvement
Oftentimes, abusive individuals become attached very quickly.This individual wants to move in together or become engaged extremely soon into a new relationship. This person may pressure you to commit to them early on, and tell you that you are the only one who can make them feel this way.
Controlling Behaviors
In addition to these emotionally abusive acts, an abusive partner can also demonstrate extreme controlling behaviors. They may act like you are not capable of making good decisions for yourself and insist on making decisions for you. This person could pretend to be concerned for your safety or how you spend your time. Controlling behaviors also include constant questions about who you spend your time with. As well, controlling, abusive people will question where you go. And, an abusive person will challenge and criticize what you did, wore, and said.
At Wisdom Within, relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut helps you gain clarity to identify abusive behaviors.
Also, another controlling behavior is your partner puts restrictions on you. As well, an abusive partner makes you ask for permission to do certain things. In addition, your partner may become extremely angry if you are late or didn’t do it right. At Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, holistic relationship counseling can help you decipher how to speak up. Lastly, you can gain confidence to decide if you need to leave the relationship all together.
Isolation
An abusive partner may exert effort towards isolating you from your friends and family. They may try to cut you off from your resources and make you feel guilty for interacting with others. Maybe you notice that your partner talks badly about you friends and accuses you of cheating when you are with them. Or, they may tell you that your family is “controlling” and “doesn’t love you,” and that “you’re too dependent on them.” Also, an abusive partner can isolate you by refusing to let you take your car, talk on the phone, or take space for yourself. This person may make it increasingly difficult for you to go to school, work, or fulfill other obligations.
Choosing to Leave an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
All too often, individuals become trapped in emotionally abusive relationships and fear getting help or ending things with their partner.
This fear stems from the unsafe and unpredictable environment created by the abusive partner. Oftentimes, the victim remains in the relationship because they do not fully understand the extent of the abuse, and they do not see it as harmful. The victim also may stay in the relationship because the abusive partner guilt-trips them, or the abusive partner plants the seed in their head that one will ever love them again. If you find that any of the signs above resonate with you, you may be dealing with an emotionally abusive partner. Receiving support around your relationship can help you overcome any feelings of worthlessness.
Relationship counseling in Southeastern Connecticut helps victims overcome fear, guilt, shame, or anxiety.
At Wisdom Within Counseling, we support couples through emotionally abusive dynamics and high conflict. If your goal is to leave the abusive relationship, we also provide individual counseling where you can learn positive coping tools and foster confidence as you let go of this part of your life. Our therapists provide individuals and couples with comprehensive, holistic, and playful therapies. Essentially, through mind-body therapies, you can feel safe and understood throughout your healing journey. Often, after an abusive relationship, you wonder if you are lovable.
You can receive a healthy version of love in a relationship from counseling.
We help children, teens, and couples in Connecticut in Bozrah, Waterford, Old Lyme, Ivoryton, Griswold, Darien, Centerbrook, Westbrook, Essex, East Lyme, Newington, Shelton, South Windsor, Granby, Franklin, Branford, Griswold, Groton, Ledyard, Suffield, Lisbon, Montville, Bristol, Stratford, Hartland, Glastonbury, Colchester, East Haddam, Hadlyme, Hamburg, Enfield, Old Saybrook, Riverside, Westport, Ridgefield, and Madison, Connecticut.
Online and in person in Niantic, we help couples, children and teenagers in neighboring towns.
In other Connecticut towns, we offer video counseling in Connecticut to families in Portland, Berlin, Bethany, Bethel, Bethlehem, Milford, Kent, Bloomfield, East Hampton, Southington, Haddam, Litchfield, Simsbury, Fairfield, Cobalt, Marlborough, Cromwell, Canton, Avon, Rocky Hill, West Hartford, Clinton, Wethersfield, Middlebury, Rye, New Canaan, Cheshire, Waterbury, Guilford, Chester, Deep River, Moodus, Durham, and Middletown, Connecticut.
At Wisdom Within Counseling in Southeastern Connecticut, relationship counseling supports self-love and confidence.
