Written by Katie Ziskind, LMFT, RYT500, owner and holistic therapist at Wisdom Within Counseling in East Lyme. First, sex therapy in East Lyme is a great way to improve your marriage. Plus, you can also rekindle desire and increase the quality and frequency of sex. From learning more about your own sexuality and desires, you’ll also understand your partner more deeply. From there, you can learn techniques to know how to please them best. Enjoy reading!
Should Sex Be Scheduled In Your Marriage?
It is not uncommon for couples to have scheduled sex! I’m not kidding. As a marriage and family therapy who offers sex therapy in Niantic, I often give couples homework to schedule time for sex. Tons of couples live busy lives where they travel for work and feel drained at the end of the day. If work gets schedule into your life, why can sex be scheduled into you marriage? Some benefits include a healthier relationship, better sex life, and less fights!
Why Should You Consider Scheduling Sex Into Your Marriage?
Are you a busy parent? If yes, you may consider scheduling sex for when you have had time to relax on a Saturday morning. Rather than having quick sex at 10pm after parenting duties are done, scheduled playful time can be best. And, many adults are busy and parents! In sex therapy in Niantic, you and your partner will learn essential sex therapy techniques to pleasure each other. Further, you will also learn how to read body language and understand your partner’s love language. So, scheduled sex can be a positive boundary for maintaining structure and playfulness within a couple. Therefore, you can your partner can grow closer, feel young again, and enjoy pleasuring each other.
What Are Some Examples of Sex Therapy Goals?
Start by creating measurable goals for your love life and sex life. First, if you have sex twice a month for eight minutes each, you can track these numbers. Start with a baseline. Let go of judgement based on movies and what you think sex should be. Then, make positive goals with your partner. Perhaps, your end goal is to have sex in your marriage three times a week. In order tog et good, you may have to practice. Right now, that goal seems so sad, disappointing, and uncomfortable to even try.
Start Where You Are To Grow
First, honor your feelings. Journal about what sex means to you. Who are you attracted to? How has sex supported you in the past? How does the media/culture portray your gender roles for having sex? What do you like when you have sex? Does society embrace your sexual desires or shame you? How has sex been hurtful in the past? What has sex looked like in your past? How often do you like to have sex? Where and in what location do you enjoy sex? What time of day do you feel your sexiest? And, how you want your sex life to be in the future? Here, you are not only creating a healthy relationship with sex, but also a healthier relationship with your partner. To further your support, I would love to be here and offer sex therapy in Niantic at Wisdom Within Counseling.
How Do I Start Scheduling Sex To Improve My Marriage?
Try scheduling 90 minutes for sex and don’t be disturbed. You may not have sex for all of the 90 minutes. but it will give you time for foreplay and time for arousal. Read an educational book, such as, “The Woman Comes First,” to learn more about the female body, anatomy, and pleasure. Spend the first 10-15 minutes of your scheduled sex time for a guided meditation. In your couple’s meditation, focus on your second chakra, your sacral chakra. This chakra center is a place of intimacy, sexuality, sexual exploration. And, focusing on this area can open you up to your partner. For some adults, scheduling sex in to your marriage can mean hiring a babysitter. In conclusion, planning child care for a few hours is well worth it!
What Does Sex Mean Anyway? Why Is It So Important?
Make sure you a present, loving, and intentional during your sexy time. You and your partner need to be on board emotionally, physically, and spiritually. In sex therapy in East Lyme, I teach that having sex is a way of sharing yourself preciously. During sex, you create a secure bubble of love, support, nurturing, and togetherness. This bubble becomes a shield of shared immunity for you in the world. Sex with a loved, precious person can boost your immune system!
Is Sex Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual?
If one of you is only in it for the physical benefits, you will both miss out. Moreover, sex is an act of selfless service, pleasuring your partner. And, you can enjoy seeing them turned on and let go of control. So, having sex is an act of care and deep love. And, sex therapy is truly a way to share your spiritual energy with another through education. Essentially, you are receiving the gift of your partner’s body. Treat them as sacred, holy, and cherish that they want to open themselves up to you.
How Do We Do This Again? Rekindling Desire After Years of Low/No Sex
Sex is not about preforming or “making” your partner orgasm. It about mindfulness and gentleness. And, to note, no orgasm can be forced. An orgasm is a sign of your partner’s safety within your presence. Instead, think of sex as an experience in touch, smell, sight, sound, temperature, and more. Feel each sensation and learn what turns your partner on. Just like learning to ride a bike, you may need to joke about messing up. Laugh together about the sex bloopers. Energize and grow your sex life again! If you have anxiety about sex because you haven’t had sex in so long, this is okay and normal. Also, seeing a sex therapist or couples therapist that is comfortable talking about sexuality can be really positive.
Call/text to get stared at Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic (860)-451-9364.
When Do We Schedule Sex Into Our Marriage?
Start by picking a day that is relaxing. When you are stressed, your cave person brain tell you that sex isn’t interesting. So, your body uses its reserves for your stress hormones instead of your sex hormones. If a giant cougar is chasing you, why would you stop to have sex?! Work stress and parenting cause these same stresses in your brain.
Sex therapy in East Lyme will revitalize your marriage!
Non-Negotiable Self-Care Time: Creating The Couple Bubble
For instance, Saturday and Sunday nights can be blocked off for sex from 6-9pm and this is nonnegotiable. Nothing can get in the way of your time together with your spouse. By creating a strong boundary around a couple time, you and your partner maintain sexual activity within your marriage. While raising children, keeping up on your sex life needs to be a priority within a larger family system. If one or two nights a week can’t be done, I recommend scheduling a sex boot camp weekend. Sex bootcamp weekends can be scheduled weeks in advance to plan. And, they are mini vacations for married couples looking to increase sexuality. Plan your sex boot camps for every few months. So, then you and your spouse can have time away from your children and work
Do You Want Your Relationship To Take A Turn For The Better?
Would you and your partner like to rekindle desire, get playful, and release tension in a healthy way? Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic, Connecticut offers distance phone and video couple therapy sessions. Also, Katie Ziskind, LMFT, RYT500, advocates for and welcomes LGBTQIA+ couples, bisexual couples, gay couples, poly couples, and more. Finally, sex therapy and couples therapy in East Lyme is a way to prioritize your relationship. You two need time over work, children, school, and finances. Just like you would make time to goto your child’s back-to-school conference, make time for your relationship. Your marriage will work better and you will deeply benefit from sex therapy in East Lyme.
How Wisdom Within Counseling in Niantic Can Help You
Katie Ziskind LMFT, RYT500 of East Lyme specializes with a variety of issues including depression in couples therapy. Additionally, she offers support for anger management, relationship counseling, marriage counseling, young adult therapy, and highly sensitive person therapy. She also enjoys working with people looking for yoga therapy, chakra balancing, spirituality, and guided meditation alongside talk counseling. Further, at Wisdom Within Counseling, near East Lyme, Connecticut, Katie runs a marriage and family therapy practice. She uses art, yoga, music, and outdoor therapies woven together with talk therapy. Katie Ziskind also helps teens stop self-harming through holistic therapies and create a life they love. Additionally, Wisdom Within Counseling, a practice for marriage and family therapy in Connecticut is an LGBTQIA+ friendly. Katie advocates for LGBT youth and adults. Read more about LGBTQ support at Wisdom Within Counseling, here. LGBTQIA+ couples welcome!
